Story format - like a play?

[Panty Wrangler]

I'm working on a story and I seem to have slipped into formatting it sort of like a play or TV show in that it begins with a very brief cast introduction and there are overtly described scenes. I didn't plan it this way, it just sort of evolved and I think I like it.

The thing is, for all the reading I've done on this site I don't recall other stories written like this. Maybe it means I've got a fun and different approach for this one. Maybe it means this is a really bad idea and I ought to know better. I mean, if this was a good idea others would probably already be doing it, right?

Here's a little example of what I mean.

Cast (in order of appearance)
Simon Lovejoy. Incoming freshman at Oregon State University (OSU). Protagonist.
H. Phillip Lovejoy, professor of ornithology, OSU. Husband, father, cad, scoundrel, philanderer, villain.
Tiffany: Minx, fellatrix, butt slut
Amanda (Blue) Lovejoy. Devoted wife, loving mother, equal parts sweet, smart, and sexy.

Scene 1: Nash Hall, OSU Campus, Corvallis OR, Fall 2021

Simon had hatched a plan, and he knew it was a good one. He was moving with a purpose as he marched down Campus Way headed for his father’s office.​

Is this a bad idea? Is trite, overdone, or just silly? I'm concerned that I think I'm being clever when I'm really just being foolish.

 

[SimonDoom]

I wouldn't want to discourage anyone from trying something different. If you want to try this, do it. Many authors have experimented with odd formats for stories.

My philosophy about this sort of thing is that you should always be mindful of what you are doing. Always ask yourself, why am I doing it this way? How does it serve my artistic purpose?

 

[ElectricBlue]

It sounds somewhat like a screenplay rather than a stage play as such. How are you managing narrative description versus straight dialogue? Is the clue what to do hidden away somewhere in the narrative voice?

As Simon says ( ), what's the artistic purpose?

 

[NotWise]

I've read and enjoyed a lot of plays -- just not on Lit.

That said, I wouldn't do it if you're emotionally invested in the story's rating. If you're willing to wing it and see what happens, then it could be fun, and we can learn from you.

 

[rescatooor]

I say do it. Experimentation with different story formats seems to be en vogue and I find it quite refreshing.

Some authors like Carmen Maria Machado, whose works at the very least border on erotic, do this quite a bit and appear to be successful in part because of it. So why not give it a try? At the very least it will let you approach erotica from a new perspective and possibly become better because of it.

 

[MillieDynamite]

I agree with Simon, it does sound like a screen play. I have read some of my fathers, without his knowledge as I can figure out the movie by reading the screen play, and that's a no no by his NDA's, but I don't read and tell so it should be cool. Once you say, "so and so is walking down the commons, the camera pulls back to reveal all the students move from one place to another yada yada," you have a screen play going big time.

 

[rescatooor]

Once you say, "so and so is walking down the commons, the camera pulls back to reveal all the students move from one place to another yada yada," you have a screen play going big time.

I don't think one has to go all-in with the film/play script idea. The little I know about screenwriting, those details about zoom-ins and fade-outs are kind of optional as long as they don't affect the plot.

Blend it with as much prose as you like. It's an art form after all. Take liberties wherever you see fit. As long as the reader pictures it as mimicking the other format, you should be alright.

 

[NotWise]

I agree with Simon, it does sound like a screen play. I have read some of my fathers, without his knowledge as I can figure out the movie by reading the screen play, and that's a no no by his NDA's, but I don't read and tell so it should be cool. Once you say, "so and so is walking down the commons, the camera pulls back to reveal all the students move from one place to another yada yada," you have a screen play going big time.

Plays have stage directions. What doesn't fit very well is the third person narration in the OP. To be play-like (screen or stage) almost everything needs to be expressed in action (stage direction) and dialog.

Personally, I'd also scrap the cast listing and introduce characters in dialog as they appear. An alternative (for a play-like story) would be to offer a synopsis like readers might find in a program.

 

[MillieDynamite]

Plays have stage directions. What doesn't fit very well is the third person narration in the OP. To be play-like (screen or stage) almost everything needs to be expressed in action (stage direction) and dialog.

Personally, I'd also scrap the cast listing and introduce characters in dialog as they appear. An alternative (for a play-like story) would be to offer a synopsis like readers might find in a program.

Your right, all that was not dialog in the stuff I read, was a description of action. "The camera is close on MC's face, pulling back, we see him weaving in out of traffic. Camera is on the top of the car, the red and blue lights flashing either side of the camera, not quite in view. We see a car ahead, whose action our car mimics. Camera travels down behind driver. Driver pics up mic, pushes button.

MC: Car yada yada in pursuit of blue sedan on freeway, nearing Van whatever blvd. Requesting back up, and intervention at ..."

That isn't the exact action described but something like it.

 

[LilyWaters]

I'm working on a story and I seem to have slipped into formatting it sort of like a play or TV show in that it begins with a very brief cast introduction and there are overtly described scenes. I didn't plan it this way, it just sort of evolved and I think I like it.

The thing is, for all the reading I've done on this site I don't recall other stories written like this. Maybe it means I've got a fun and different approach for this one. Maybe it means this is a really bad idea and I ought to know better. I mean, if this was a good idea others would probably already be doing it, right?

Here's a little example of what I mean.

Cast (in order of appearance)
Simon Lovejoy. Incoming freshman at Oregon State University (OSU). Protagonist.
H. Phillip Lovejoy, professor of ornithology, OSU. Husband, father, cad, scoundrel, philanderer, villain.
Tiffany: Minx, fellatrix, butt slut
Amanda (Blue) Lovejoy. Devoted wife, loving mother, equal parts sweet, smart, and sexy.

Scene 1: Nash Hall, OSU Campus, Corvallis OR, Fall 2021

Simon had hatched a plan, and he knew it was a good one. He was moving with a purpose as he marched down Campus Way headed for his father’s office.​

Is this a bad idea? Is trite, overdone, or just silly? I'm concerned that I think I'm being clever when I'm really just being foolish.

Give it a shot! Why not? There are some beautifully written plays that come alive on the page as well as off. You'll want to think about how you are going to handle dialogue. I also agree that it looks a bit more like a screenplay at the moment.

Lots of playwrights wrote stage directions that give a beautiful depth to a play, even though when it is being performed, you have no idea what they are. Eugene O'Neill wrote pages of stage directions at the beginning of Long Day's Journey into Night. Arthur Miller's stage directions were full of imagery and metaphor, so when you combine them with the dialogue, the pages almost read like a novel, at times.

If we can't tinker and play around here, what's the point? I say go for it. What have you got to lose?

 

[Rustyoznail]

I spent many an hour reading the scripts for the BBC's "Goon Show", a radio program with Peter Sellers, Spike Milligan and Harry Secombe. They were as funny on paper as they were on the radio.

If it fires up the reader's imagination, give it a shot!

 

[NotWise]

Where is LAHomedawg? I think he's the experienced screen writer around here.

 

[Panty Wrangler]

Thanks for all the encouragement!

What I’ve got now has zero set or camera direction. It’s just a story told from an omniscient perspective that happens to be broken up into scenes. The scene headings clue the reader into where they’re set, and within scenes I flip from one character’s view to another with little breaks signified by ***

I like the cast list, but I suppose some readers won’t. Removing that wouldn’t hurt the story one bit as it stands; I just get a kick out of the character descriptions. Removing the scene headings might mean I need to do a tiny bit more work with the text, but not much if that.

On the one hand I do care about ratings since it will be my Halloween entry, but on the other I’m also just having fun with the story. It’s partly an inside joke, though I think it’s shaping up to be a fun read for anyone. I really like some of the scenes and dialog!

 

[gunhilltrain]

Thanks for all the encouragement!

What I’ve got now has zero set or camera direction. It’s just a story told from an omniscient perspective that happens to be broken up into scenes. The scene headings clue the reader into where they’re set, and within scenes I flip from one character’s view to another with little breaks signified by ***

I like the cast list, but I suppose some readers won’t. Removing that wouldn’t hurt the story one bit as it stands; I just get a kick out of the character descriptions. Removing the scene headings might mean I need to do a tiny bit more work with the text, but not much if that.

On the one hand I do care about ratings since it will be my Halloween entry, but on the other I’m also just having fun with the story. It’s partly an inside joke, though I think it’s shaping up to be a fun read for anyone. I really like some of the scenes and dialog!

It's not really a screenplay, so it's okay not to have camera directions and so forth. (The director and cinematographer would do it in their own way, in any case.) I do like how their last name is Lovejoy.

 

[Handley_Page]

I spent many an hour reading the scripts for the BBC's "Goon Show", a radio program with Peter Sellers, Spike Milligan and Harry Secombe. They were as funny on paper as they were on the radio.

If it fires up the reader's imagination, give it a shot!

You might care to try listening to this one.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

Why not? If experimentation was barred, then we'd still be painting pictures of mastodons on cave walls.

This is, of course, a case where a little is enough. Too much would, I think, be distracting.

 

[SamScribble]

Give it a go by all means. But don't expect a high score. The Lit readers are, generally, a pretty conservative lot. Find me a 750-word story with a high score.

 

[LAHomedog]

I don't think one has to go all-in with the film/play script idea. The little I know about screenwriting, those details about zoom-ins and fade-outs are kind of optional as long as they don't affect the plot.

Blend it with as much prose as you like. It's an art form after all. Take liberties wherever you see fit. As long as the reader pictures it as mimicking the other format, you should be alright.

Actually, you put those in a script. They can be very important to the plot and the structure of the piece.

 

[rescatooor]

Actually, you put those in a script. They can be very important to the plot and the structure of the piece.

Only if they're important. But the screenwriter doesn't micromanage the entire thing by burying the script in instructions on how to film the scene. Too many and they will all get ignored or the script abandoned.

 

[LAHomedog]

I'm working on a story and I seem to have slipped into formatting it sort of like a play or TV show in that it begins with a very brief cast introduction and there are overtly described scenes. I didn't plan it this way, it just sort of evolved and I think I like it.

The thing is, for all the reading I've done on this site I don't recall other stories written like this. Maybe it means I've got a fun and different approach for this one. Maybe it means this is a really bad idea and I ought to know better. I mean, if this was a good idea others would probably already be doing it, right?


Is this a bad idea? Is trite, overdone, or just silly? I'm concerned that I think I'm being clever when I'm really just being foolish.

Write and tell your story how YOU want to tell it. Don't worry about rules or conventions.

I'm a screenwriter by trade. You are describing a semi-hybrid of what a script would look like. And that's great! The wonderful thing about writing and all art is there are no rules. If it works for your art, that is great!

Plays, film scripts and TV shows follow different conventions and formats. A play? Well that can be anything and everything but for example if its a Broadway Musical, you need a big number to end the 1st Act, and a super show stopping number about three quarters of the way into the 2nd Act known in the trade as "The 11 o'clock song."

A one hour TV show is written in four acts. A feature film in written in three acts. The movie opens and in the first 20 minutes there has to be something called "Plot Point 1." That's the moment that tells you the plot of the story. An example that is taught in film schools is in the Harrison Ford, Kelly McGillis movie "Witness" where the little boy is in the police station and points to the picture of the cop as the killer. Boom. Plot Point 1. Act I ends in a big win. Act II ends in a loss and depending upon if it is a comedy or tragedy Act III ends in happiness or sadness.

Novels traditionally have a 5-stage structure. I know some people use a 7-point structure.

On Lit, for what it is worth, I write my stories like a feature film. I usually have a cold opening, then Act I with a Plot Point 1, then the classic film structure of Act I win, Act II big loss, and an Act III. But that's what I know and what comes naturally to me.

I believe the great thing about being a story teller is you can tell your story and enthrall your reader however you want to tell. Each one is unique to itself. Have fun. Be creative. Tell your story however you muse tells you to.


Good luck.

 

[Panty Wrangler]

Write and tell your story how YOU want to tell it. Don't worry about rules or conventions.

…

Good luck.

Thanks!

Fuck it, I’m keeping it the way I like it. The readers will love it, hate it, or ignore it as they may.

Seriously, thanks!