❤️ ⚧️ Ask me anything, AlexBailey ⚧ 🌹

[AlexBailey]

Thanks, ShyNaughtyGirl!



Okay, my turn on the hot seat for the next 24 hrs… tick, tick, tick….

Ask away! Anything is fair game, I’m not shy nor easily offended as long as everyone is kind.

-AlexBailey

 

[Whiskeyjack]

You asked me a few music questions on mine, so I'll turn it around back to you.

Do you play any instrument(s)?

Which genre do you listen to the most?

Do you sing, and do you have a go-to karaoke song? (Or if not, what would it be?)

 

[AlexBailey]

You asked me a few music questions on mine, so I'll turn it around back to you.

Do you play any instrument(s)?

Which genre do you listen to the most?

Do you sing, and do you have a go-to karaoke song? (Or if not, what would it be?)

Hi Whiskeyjack, thanks for asking…

* Yes, I play guitar, ukulele, bass, hand drums, and harmonica…

* I’m mostly into playing jam-rock/bluegrass/folk but I’m a fan of many more genres. Two of my sons are musicians too and they’re into things like Dave Mathews, Dead and Company, etc… so I tend to play a lot of that kind of stuff.

* I sing a lot. I was the lead for a band back before I had a family and was often asked to sing and play for parties and events. Karaoke? Hmmm… last time I did Karaoke I think I sang ‘Brown Eyed Girl’ and ‘I want you to want me’

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

• If you were a fictional character in a children's book, what kind of character would you be? Big bad wolf? Persistent tortoise? Etc.

• What do you find irresistible?

• Who is someone you admire and why?

 

[AlexBailey]

Can you sum up your favorite lit story in one sentence? Please share with the class

One sentence?!!!

Okay: Gender dysphoric protagonist gets outed by odd circumstances and finds love and fun while trying out new roles.

What is your go-to thing you do that makes you feel sexy? Is it a lingerie item or makeup or the way you do your hair, etc?

I have lots of fetishes that I’ve had since childhood, the biggest ones are for tight shiny stuff- leotards, leggings, and bodysuits, and some light bondage stuff. I love being mistaken for female, it happened a lot in my 20s but I’ve filled out a bit since then. I can spend a lot of time dressing for the mirror. I like feeling pretty and being admired but I also have a submissive side. I love it best when someone else dresses me enfemme - my wife often braids my hair, but I’m not into makeup.

 

[AlexBailey]

• If you were a fictional character in a children's book, what kind of character would you be? Big bad wolf? Persistent tortoise? Etc.

Pippi Longstocking is a personal favorite. Spunky, strong, total tomboy…

• What do you find irresistible?

Cute and talented tomboys. Girls who are rough and tumble, who don’t mind getting dirty but also like to dress up pretty and go out dancing to live music. Guys who fit that description too. Androgyny and musical talent are huge turn ons for me.

• Who is someone you admire and why?

Hmmm…

Halsey - the singer - beauty and talent in spades, and she’s got a touch of fetish taste.
Elon Musk - multifaceted genius. Not that I’m attracted to him or that I like everything he does, just that he’s an impressive human being.

 

[AlexBailey]

Yes! I’m so happy you’re up.

How do you cope at the end of a relationship?

What has been the worst ending you’ve had?

And the best?

I hate break ups.
I’ve always wanted to put everything out on the table and try to keep the friendship we had before we got together. Sometimes it takes a cooling off period before emotions aren’t too raw and painful but the effort is usually worth it.


Worst break up:
My ex-wife and mother of my oldest son. She outed me to all of our friends and extended family even though she knew and accepted me when we got together. We haven’t spoken in years and I hope to never have to again.


The best break up:
I’m still friends with many of my exes. Generally we were together until our interests went in opposing directions, but the best? I was in a relationship with a girl who identifies as lesbian for almost four years before she came to the realization that motherhood was not for her, but I knew that I wanted a family. We stayed together for another month and had an amazing last night. We had a farewell party with lots of friends and family and though we are rarely in contact, we are still friends more than twenty-five years later.

 

[AlexBailey]

I’ll be back, I’ve got a couple hours of work to take care of before I can get to more answers.

 

[AlexBailey]

Talk to me about your signature line and your pronouns. (If you want to). Keeping in mind I’m asking because I come from a place of not really knowing you or having never stalked you to delve further to find out if there is more to that. Totally cool if you take a hard pass on this one too!

He/she, him/her, them/they, whatever... Yep. That's me.


I have XY chromosomes and I present primarily as male. I don't consider myself transgender but I don't feel like I fit the typical 'male' label, and I never have.


Tomboys are pretty common - girls who act in ways that don't fit the traditional social expectations of a girl, either by the way they act or the way they dress, or both. There is a broad spectrum of how non-traditionally female a tomboy can be.

The male equivalent is often called a 'sissy' or an effeminate male. I don't really relate to being a sissy, I feel more like a masculine tomboy who wishes she could present in a more feminine way. Even when I was a young adult I was often mistaken for female and I always really liked the way it made me feel.

I was a little brother who was a tag-along to a older sister's busy extracurricular schedule. I hung out with her and her friends and was "one of the girls" for many years, often mistaken for a girl and treated like one by many kids and adults. Being treated like a girl is very comforting and familiar to me. I feel like I'm faking it when I put on a male facade, especially for work. I often feel self-conscious and out of place among groups of guys, but right at home with the girls.

It's all a social construct. What difference should it make to anyone how someone else presents unless they are going to have sex or procreate with them? My pronouns are fluid, based upon how someone perceives me. Some days I feel more one way or the other and sometimes I present more feminine. I don't mind how someone refers to me, they can make the call as long as they are not trying to be disrespectful.

Lately I've been liking the term 'tomgurl'.

 

[Lonelywife1205]

Hi AB,
I’m enjoying reading your thoughtful answers so far. I’m curious about your perspective on two issues that are currently hot topics where I live.
1. Teachers are required to ask every student which pronouns they prefer. Do you feel like they should be required to ask every student or do you feel that if a student prefers to be referred to as a specific pronoun, it should be up to them to inform their teacher?

2. There is a new rule that says a student can use whichever locker room they want based on how they identify. I’m curious about your opinion on that.

Also, what movie can you watch over and over and over?

 

[AlexBailey]

What is your favourite thing about Lit?

What is your least favourite thing about Lit?

Who do you admire on Lit? Yes it’s shoutout time, spread the love!

Do you have a particular way you do Lit? Ie PMs first, certain threads first, subscribed threads etc.

I'd started journaling as a recommended counseling exercise when I discovered that I liked writing. I found lit while I was looking for some help with writing skills and possibly a place to publish my story. The youngest of my kids had just come of age so I was shifting gears from focusing on raising a family to having time and focus for myself. I had spent most of my life trying to fit in somehow - whether it be with my staunchly conservative religious family or my radical feminist lesbian friends.

I guess I'd kind of gone straight around the time I met my first wife. She was very into me and what I was up to until we got pregnant. She'd been in a good space when we met but her bipolar and borderline personality disorders made our lives a living hell. She was angry and vindictive and got my parents to side against me, trying to use my sexuality as a reason that I was an unfit parent.

Outwardly I'd gone even more mainstream by the time I met my true-love wife. She is a beautiful human who 'sees' me and loves the 'real me' whoever that happens to be.

Anyway, I found the authors hangout and got some writing help and learned how to put my journaling together in a presentable way. Unfortunately my original non-fiction writing is full of underage stuff that can't be published on lit. It was also too identifying, so I rewrote it as fiction. My four part novel is just a fantasy version of an auto-biography, it's basically me if I'd been raised by other parents. Lots of it is true, it uses bits and pieces of stories from my life and those of friends.

I learned a lot through the writing process and have written a few other short stories that I can share with family and friends, but my writing here really let's my freak flag fly more than I care to put out publically.

I've connected with some other writers and people from the forum. It's been a great escape and place to be more 'out' than in my day to day life. I'm not really 'in the closet' in real life but I don't let it all hang out either. Here I can be 'whatever' .




My least favorite thing: the time I sink into something that I don't share openly, but there are also benefits to that.

I admire the creativity of all of the authors and the forum posters. I most admire all of the folks who manage and host their own fun threads. I see a lot of the same sentiments about having an outlet for their inner freak. I love it!

Shout outs: oh, gosh. I'll have to come up with a list - so many. I'll work on that.

PMs jump out when I open the site, I typically go straight to subscribed threads after that, then if I don't get too busy I look over the playground, the GLBT, the Author's Hangout, Fetish and Sexuality. Sometimes politics and the GB but I find that I'm happier when I don't do politics. I have a few flirty friends who like to send me sexy PMs, but I don't do real-time messaging. My wife has asked that I not do anything live on line. I'm fine with that, but I do like sharing thoughts and stories.

 

[Whiskeyjack]

What's your relationship with your parents like now? And your relationship with your (their?) religion?

 

[AlexBailey]

Hi AB,
I’m enjoying reading your thoughtful answers so far. I’m curious about your perspective on two issues that are currently hot topics where I live.
1. Teachers are required to ask every student which pronouns they prefer. Do you feel like they should be required to ask every student or do you feel that if a student prefers to be referred to as a specific pronoun, it should be up to them to inform their teacher?

2. There is a new rule that says a student can use whichever locker room they want based on how they identify. I’m curious about your opinion on that.

Also, what movie can you watch over and over and over?

Hi Lonelywife. I'm glad to hear that loneliness is a thing of the past for you.


Pronouns. Ugh, such an issue. It's a huge validation issue for many trans folks. Unfortunately some people use it to slight others, often refusing to acknowledge someone's personal identity.

Refusing to call someone by their desired pronoun is akin to refusing to refer to a married woman by Mrs. if that how she wants to be identified. Some people just cant step outside of their own biases and expectations.

I think it's right for school teachers to ask how kids want to be identified. It doesn't have to be explicit, just like how at the beginning of the school year while going through roll call: They call names and make notes. 'Alexander' may want to be called 'Alex', or 'Lexi'... It doesn't need to be a big deal. If a kid decides to change their pronouns it's up to them to let the teacher know.

My wife works in homeless services - her agency has a policy of asking for gender identity rather than making assumptions. She is often surprised by the responses, some people say it's the first time anyone has ever asked. My kids have several trans friends - seven I can think of at the moment, all are unique individuals with their own experiences and perspectives.


Locker rooms and bathrooms are a bigger issue. I've really enjoyed the few places I've been to that have gender-neutral facilities, typically the sinks and main areas are shared but the stalls are private, but it's tough for society as a whole - there is so much dysfunction. I don't have a solution that can fit all cases.


I love fantasy and sci-fi movies. True nerd here. Star Wars, Harry Potter, Avatar... One of my favorite movies, largely for fetishy fantasy purposes is Suckerpunch - crazy story. Great soundtrack with hot tough girls in fetish and short skirts... That's my style. I also like comedies and chick flicks.

 

[AlexBailey]

Would you say you are sexually satisfied?

Do you have a go-to, sure fire fantasy that you know is going to do the job when you’re on the clock and really want to get off?

What is the kinkiest thing you’ve been involved in?

I have a huge sexual appetite. I could take on lots of lovers at the same time, the more the merrier, but my wife is strictly monogamous - so yeah, lots of frustration there. She does what she can to accommodate me, giving me lots of room for my fetishes. I've got a straitjacket she can tie me into when I'm just too horny and she isn't in the mood.

My AV is one of my go-to styles, I could work myself into an orgasm quickly in that. My first productive orgasm was in a girls wetsuit. I have some serious restraint fantasies, leftovers from childhood experiences that Lit doesn't allow to be aired.

In a nutshell, I was often restrained as a child in a way that is now an instant turn on for me, and later in middle school I was tied up and touched by some of my older step-brother's friends, I don't really blame them, I wanted it and kind of encouraged it.

As a young adult I was in many three-somes, four-somes, and more - often playing a feminine role. I have been the only guy a few girls have ever been with, in some cases the only male besides an abuser. I have a completely fluid and kinky sexuality, I can be whatever someone else wants from me, even a dom if that's what they want. I've never had an ongoing relationship with a male, though I would be open to it now if I were single. I'd love to have a queer boyfriend, I'd probably be more of a 'she-male' and we could have all kinds of kinky fun with friends.

 

[AlexBailey]

Keep asking, I'll answer as I can, but work calls for now.

I may need some help deciding who to pass the buck to, I think everyone who has asked me questions has already been in the hotseat.

 

[Blues]

Pronouns. Ugh, such an issue. It's a huge validation issue for many trans folks. Unfortunately some people use it to slight others, often refusing to acknowledge someone's personal identity.

Refusing to call someone by their desired pronoun is akin to refusing to refer to a married woman by Mrs. if that how she wants to be identified. Some people just cant step outside of their own biases and expectations.

Pronouns, for some of us over 50's, the he/she is so engrained that we automatically use it based on who the other person appears to be. I try to correct myself if I notice I forgot, but it's not intentional, just reflex.

Reading your responses has provided me with more insight which I can keep in mind for future interactions. Thanks for sharing and being open and honest with your replies.

 

[AlexBailey]

Got a flat tire on my way to a job so I’ve got some unexpected time!

What's your relationship with your parents like now? And your relationship with your (their?) religion?

Oh boy. Parents and religion have been a rollercoaster ride.



I consider myself a recovering catha-holic. My pious mother left my father for a married usher from the Cathedral when I was nine. They were excommunicated but still insisted on going to Sunday mass every week. My step-father was a sports minded tough-guy who promised to make a man out of me. He signed me up for all of the guys seasonal sports leagues and often coached the teams. I wanted to do gymnastics but that wasn’t acceptable to him. He gave up trying to make me athlete by the time I got into high school. He just made sure my mom kept my hair cut short.

I had a lot of friends who were girls. My mom would often say things like, “I’m so glad you aren’t gay, I don’t know what I do…” My parents were delighted when I went to the prom with the captain of the cheer squad - a gorgeous girl whose parents knew mine, but their relief faded when my girlfriend and her squad made me up as a cheerleader for a school event. I went to school and around town on a Friday and then to the stadium that evening dressed in a squad uniform - my first public cross dressing experience! My parents found out about it from friends on Sunday and were non-plussed.

They were hopeful again after high school when I got together with another girl from our church. Her parents were just as delighted - she was my lesbian girlfriend. All of our parents thought our relationship was the answer to their prayers.

My folks liked my ex-wife, as I said they sided with her ant tried to make me lose custody of my oldest son. Fortunately California law doesn’t care about parents’ orientation. Soon after I got divorced my parents sold a piece of property that was supposed to be my inheritance and gave the money to their church. What the church did with that money is a whole different drama - they leveraged it into huge real estate gains at the cost of parishioners, leaving my parents disillusioned.

My oldest son inherited his mother’s bipolar disorder and was very difficult to raise, my parents opened their home to him and he demanded to live with them until they realized they couldn’t handle an oppositionally defiant teenager. When my wife and I got him turned around and raised two others and a foster daughter they finally came around to respecting me. Now they are old and my step father has dementia. He’s become humble and sweet and not the same man I was raised by. My mother has been humbled too and our relationship is good.



I have zero interest in the church but I do have a spirituality that stems from the golden rule and a respect for people and all of creation.

 

[BadAmy]

what is your favorite article of clothing to wear for bedtime?
can you cook? if so, what is the best meal you made?

 

[ydahecnot]

Do you peruse the mainstream fashion mags for possible looks and such, or are you pretty much on the fetish side of fashion?

Do women reach out to you to discuss tips? More seriously, do others reach out to you for guidance about becoming comfortable with their identity, whatever that may be?

What do you like to watch on TV?

 

[AlexBailey]

I love reading more about you! I'm so glad you're in the hotseat today

From the looks of your av, you have more of a curly texture to your hair, as a fellow curly haired person..what is your styling routine like? Favorite hair products to use?

This is fun!

Long brown and curly. I let it grow out after I got to be a cheerleader for the day. As soon as I did I was always getting whistled at. I’ve told the story elsewhere in the forum about going to a rowdy concert and getting my ass grabbed over and over - something that was both exciting and scary at the same time. It’s disgusting how so many men think it’s okay to violate women like that. At first I though it was funny to turn around and let them know they’d just grabbed a guy, until I though one of them was going to kill me - he grabbed me to make his girlfriend jealous or something… she nearly died laughing at him.

My hair isn’t nearly as nice and full as it used to be, I was having a good hair day when that pic was taken, but I like Moroccanoil argan oil products.

What was the last erotic dream you had about?

Oh gosh… I’m not sure about my last one - I have a lot of erotic dreams! My wife is an insomniac who fidgets incessantly. She loves to pet me and get me talking in my sleep. She’s read my stories and will drop bits of them into my sleeping mind - pushing all of my buttons! 8)

I often have erotic dreams about being bound and played with, though most of them are non-binary in some way. It’s common that I’m going about my normal day except that I’m fully female. Sometimes I’ll be dealing with someone who’s suddenly surprised to find that I’m not male.

 

[AlexBailey]

what is your favorite article of clothing to wear for bedtime?
can you cook? if so, what is the best meal you made?

I usually either go with boxers or bodysuits. Lol. Sometimes I go with a thong and a t-shirt.

I’m a badass cook. I didn’t really get into it until the last five years or so. I can cook for almost anyone; vegan, carnivore, paleo, keto… I love making Asian style stir fry or one-pot dishes. I usually improvise and there are rarely leftovers.

My favorite recent meal though was simple and fresh. Fresh salmon, caught that morning, we ate a bunch as sashimi and roasted some stakes, fresh fire roasted veggies from the garden. No seasoning required. Natures best!

 

[AlexBailey]

Pronouns, for some of us over 50's, the he/she is so engrained that we automatically use it based on who the other person appears to be. I try to correct myself if I notice I forgot, but it's not intentional, just reflex.

Reading your responses has provided me with more insight which I can keep in mind for future interactions. Thanks for sharing and being open and honest with your replies.

I hear what you’re saying about slipping up with pronouns. It’s hard to keep track sometimes, especially when someone doesn’t entirely present as their chosen identity. I slip up a lot in conversations. My wife’s boss is ‘they’ but I’m always slipping and calling them ‘her’, fortunately not to their face.

It’s amazing to me how well my kids do among their friends, rarely ever getting it wrong. Trans folks are just like everyone else in that some are kind while others are jerks, some are bright while others aren’t so, some present strongly one way while others are more gender ambiguous. There was a trans-masculine student at my sons’ school who was a total ass. They kept changing their pronouns and would get upset if someone made a mistake. To make matters worse, he would shamelessly flirt with all of the girls, eventually pissing off someone’s boyfriend enough that he got punched.

The guy who punched him was most upset about the whole thing, yelling, “You want to be treated like any other guy? Don’t be such a Dick!”

 

[AlexBailey]

Do you peruse the mainstream fashion mags for possible looks and such, or are you pretty much on the fetish side of fashion?

Do women reach out to you to discuss tips? More seriously, do others reach out to you for guidance about becoming comfortable with their identity, whatever that may be?

What do you like to watch on TV?

I’m really more of a tomboy than a girly-girl. I wear kilts pretty regularly but only wear skirts and girly tops at home or to special events like concerts or festivals.

I like checking out fashions on-line and at stores but I’m not much of a fashion plate. I’m definitely more into fetish than mainstream fashion. That said, I love going shopping where someone with good taste is picking out stuff for me.

I’ve been asked about gender identity mostly by parents of kids who have gone trans. There is one family we’ve been friends with for years from my kids’ school. Their son recently announced he is now non-binary and may want to transition. The parents were devastated, thinking they would never have grandkids, wondering how their kid would ever make it in the world. They were surprised and relieved when my wife told them how I identify. They suddenly recognized all of these clues that hadn’t occurred to them before. We talked for hours and it really helped their relationship.

I used to get asked about my hair all the time; “Who did your perm?” … “Uh…my mom and dad?”

I’ve been into some reality or non-fiction tV lately. Recently: Alone, Wife Swap, Chernobyl… They are all great case studies of human psychology - how people deal with adversity. Wife Swap sounds funny but the idea that two families trade wives for two weeks. (Sorry horny litsters - not in the bedroom ) The show give a clear window into different lifestyles and values… the outcomes are rarely predictable.

 

[AlexBailey]

We’ll, it’s been 26 hours and time for that sunny guy ydahecnot to jump into the hot seat! Cause Why the heck not?

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=1551754






Thanks for all of your questions. I don’t mind picking up some follow ups if they’re out there. I really enjoyed this!

-Alex

 

[goodsonformom]

I find your chronicles inspiring and genuine, thank you for sharing your most intimate thoughts.