Smorgusboard of dudes (yes, I used the word smorgusboard, haha)

[EktachromeJP]

Smorgasbord of dudes (yes, I used the word smorgasbord, haha)

Update: this has been a pretty incredible learning experience by some very generous women. I swear my ad wasn't suppose to be a$$hole-like, but reading what i've read, i'm sure there are a lot of women who view it as, that. Not my intent.

In looking at the personals, it's pretty evident that the male of the species is a bit more overt (in public anyway) with their desire to engage in sexual fun. This left me with an interesting question...

What is it like for you ladies that you have your choice of most any of us, when you want? Is it a handy service or do you still find navigating to find the right fit pretty challenging?

I'm curious on your thoughts!

P.S. i'm totally looking for the same thing as a lot of these men. About me, I'm educated, a professional, creative, I attempt to be charming and (from what i'm told) I'm not hard on your eyes. Would LOVE to connect with you and chat!

 

[EktachromeJP]

I appreciate the assist Dr.

corrected my misspelling!

Used it.

Misspelled it.

Twice.

 

[Deleted member 5521640]

I don't treat the personals as a smörgåsbord, i.e. considering to myself which personal of the daily crop stands out to me so I'll PM the writer. I will bump an ad if I read one that I think is clever, fresh and well-written, and give the writer encouragement. I prefer to interact through the threads, and if someone strikes my fancy or they stand out to me I'll PM them and see what happens. Sometimes I make a new friend, other times I never get a reply. But as someone much wiser than I stated some time ago, Lit isn't a dating site, so I don't treat it as such. Yes, people do hook up in real life after meeting here, but those are the exceptions, not the rule, and I don't have any pie in the sky expectations that I'll meet my next significant other here, through a personal or otherwise.

My two cents worth, take it for what it's worth.

In looking at the personals, it's pretty evident that the male of the species is a bit more overt (in public anyway) with their desire to engage in sexual fun. This left me with an interesting question...

What is it like for you ladies that you have your choice of most any of us, when you want? Is it a handy service or do you still find navigating to find the right fit pretty challenging?

I'm curious on your thoughts!

P.S. i'm totally looking for the same thing as a lot of these men. About me, I'm educated, a professional, creative, I attempt to be charming and (from what i'm told) I'm not hard on your eyes. Would LOVE to connect with you and chat!

 

[SassySheDevil]

Lit is the wild west, as a woman newer to the space. I think generally most of us have a at least a slight preference, so while there's a veritable smorgasbord of men....finding the right one to make you smile and laugh (at the very least) can still be a bit of a hunt. I've had a few nice matches in my time here. ☺

I don't treat the personals as a smörgåsbord, i.e. considering to myself which personal of the daily crop stands out to me so I'll PM the writer. I will bump an ad if I read an one that I think is clever, fresh and well-written, and give the writer encouragement. I prefer to interact through the threads, and if someone strikes my fancy or they stand out to me I'll PM them and see what happens. Sometimes I make a new friend, other times I never get a reply. But as someone much wiser than I stated some time ago, Lit isn't a dating site, so I don't treat it as such. Yes, people do hook up in real life after meeting here, but those are the exceptions, not the rule, and I don't have any pie in the sky expectations that I'll meet my next significant other here, through a personal or otherwise.

My two cents worth, take it for what it's worth.

These are both similar to how I feel.

I don't come here "looking" for anything. Anyone I have talked to over the years, usually happened because they were interacting in some way. I will bump ads that someone has taken the time to put some effort into.
Honestly. There are times when the personals can be the funniest place and I can use that.
But yes. Women can afford to be more picky. She can take the time to find a person that meshes with her personality more. But that is why getting out on the boards and interacting, is so important.
Pet peeve. I can't stand the guys who attack every females ad there is, purely looking for anything that breathes. That is a total turn off, and I wont reach out to that kind of person. I realize that guys have less "action" coming their way. But for gods sake. Have a few standards and a little self worth.

But despite what a lot of people think. Lit is not a dating site. So if relationships happen, it's because they happened naturally from getting to know people. Not because some guy left an ad that said "I'm horny, HMU"

Women truly like effort, and personality.

Good luck in what you are seeking.

 

[ashesatwork]

93% of the lit men are horny with a chip on their shoulders because they feel they get picked over everytime... most of them try way too hard and come off either annoying or pushy...

I have a type... eh depending on my mood more like various types

But I still prefer to have things in common... also age..timezones.. compatibility in general are all important

I also have been around here a long time.

Someone's gonna have to put in work with me to spark some interest

But I expect they should expect that of me as well... alllll of it.

 

[1hardguy]

smorgasboard

When spelled as "Smorgasboard", it's an anagram for "Broads orgasm".

That seems to be an essential point to be made in this thread.

 

[KatieDoes]

It’s not great.

I can see why it might appear as though the high male/female ratio would be great for women.

But the vast majority of men here seem to view women as nothing more than dick receptacles.

Having large quantities of people reaching out to you that don’t view you as an actual person is more dehumanizing than appealing. It’s not remotely flattering to be approached or fawned over for nothing other than having a warm wet hole.

There are some good men here. Genuinely good men. I’ve found a few, and lucked into being ridiculously compatible sexually with one in particular. But aside from him, I’m pretty much over men on lit.

Fortunately for me, and other bi or bicurious women, I’m not alone. Far be it from me to complain about how many of the gorgeous and sexy women on lit are looking to explore with other women instead of dealing with lecherous men.

 

[SassySheDevil]

It’s not great.

I can see why it might appear as though the high male/female ratio would be great for women.

But the vast majority of men here seem to view women as nothing more than dick receptacles.

Having large quantities of people reaching out to you that don’t view you as an actual person is more dehumanizing than appealing. It’s not remotely flattering to be approached or fawned over for nothing other than having a warm wet hole.

There are some good men here. Genuinely good men. I’ve found a few, and lucked into being ridiculously compatible sexually with one in particular. But aside from him, I’m pretty much over men on lit.

Fortunately for me, and other bi or bicurious women, I’m not alone. Far be it from me to complain about how many of the gorgeous and sexy women on lit are looking to explore with other women instead of dealing with lecherous men.

Also a very good point.

 

[LouisianaWild]

It’s not great.

I can see why it might appear as though the high male/female ratio would be great for women.

But the vast majority of men here seem to view women as nothing more than dick receptacles.

Having large quantities of people reaching out to you that don’t view you as an actual person is more dehumanizing than appealing. It’s not remotely flattering to be approached or fawned over for nothing other than having a warm wet hole.

There are some good men here. Genuinely good men. I’ve found a few, and lucked into being ridiculously compatible sexually with one in particular. But aside from him, I’m pretty much over men on lit.

Fortunately for me, and other bi or bicurious women, I’m not alone. Far be it from me to complain about how many of the gorgeous and sexy women on lit are looking to explore with other women instead of dealing with lecherous men.

This. All of this! I may have suggestive pictures, and be pretty open when I post. But I am a woman, and a human that deserves respect. 99% of the time the PM’s I get are degrading, rude, and assumptions. Of the other 1%, 0.7% are nice about asking me to talk sex with them. It gets to the point I want to turn off the PM feature but I do have a few people I exclusively chat with on here.

 

[WillowySparkles]

This. All of this! I may have suggestive pictures, and be pretty open when I post. But I am a woman, and a human that deserves respect. 99% of the time the PM’s I get are degrading, rude, and assumptions. Of the other 1%, 0.7% are nice about asking me to talk sex with them. It gets to the point I want to turn off the PM feature but I do have a few people I exclusively chat with on here.

I've turned my PMs off, but use the buddy list if I want to talk to someone. I was here two years ago and encountered the 99% you speak of, so I left. But I did miss the variety of discussions and the laid-back atmosphere of the boards, so I decided to give the site another try, but on my terms and no one else's. I'm here to please myself and no one else.

 

[Fingerfuxs]

I’m objectified for my wit and charm.

There’s more to me than my fascinating personality and genius.

You’re working on your game doc , , now if you could just stop poaching a another mans game , you might get lit laid.

Kudos to the OP , well done sir

 

[Fingerfuxs]

It’s not great.

I can see why it might appear as though the high male/female ratio would be great for women.

But the vast majority of men here seem to view women as nothing more than dick receptacles.

Having large quantities of people reaching out to you that don’t view you as an actual person is more dehumanizing than appealing. It’s not remotely flattering to be approached or fawned over for nothing other than having a warm wet hole.

There are some good men here. Genuinely good men. I’ve found a few, and lucked into being ridiculously compatible sexually with one in particular. But aside from him, I’m pretty much over men on lit.

Fortunately for me, and other bi or bicurious women, I’m not alone. Far be it from me to complain about how many of the gorgeous and sexy women on lit are looking to explore with other women instead of dealing with lecherous men.

Watch out for this one ……she’s a poacher don’t lie you know U are. You literally named the Lit phrase honestly I’m in awe of a lady slaughter like you. I bet you smell pretty and have nice pedicured nails and toes.

 

[EktachromeJP]

first and foremost, these responses are awesome. i'll respond to each of them, but this thread feels like it should be required reading for we guys here at Lit. Thank you to the women who responded with the candor you did!!!

 

[Fingerfuxs]

It’s encouraging to hear you’ve had some nice matches here. I’ve read this site for a while but only recently signed up and started commenting. Good to know there’s hope in finding a good match. Especially for those of us with a decent sense of humor.

That’s how getting outta the lurker mode works, good for you dude.

 

[Fingerfuxs]

first and foremost, these responses are awesome. i'll respond to each of them, but this thread feels like it should be required reading for we guys here at Lit. Thank you to the women who responded with the candor you did!!!

Good gawd man, your doing so well. That required reading line feeds the beast. Brings a bigger crowd to the table with a penis and ……is against man code * to tell where your fishing hole is.

Hush man hush.

 

[SassySheDevil]

first and foremost, these responses are awesome. i'll respond to each of them, but this thread feels like it should be required reading for we guys here at Lit. Thank you to the women who responded with the candor you did!!!

There was such a thread for a while but it just pissed off the guys and they ignored the advice/ comments. Some want the help. Others think they're too cool to need it.

 

[Fingerfuxs]

Oh, he's well out of lurker mode.

Awesomeness , that’s what that post read like. Cool beans

 

[KatieDoes]

Watch out for this one ……she’s a poacher don’t lie you know U are. You literally named the Lit phrase honestly I’m in awe of a lady slaughter like you. I bet you smell pretty and have nice pedicured nails and toes.

Very close… I have a lovely pedicure, but I smell of cynicism and fresh basil.

 

[EktachromeJP]

This is just the kind of thing i'd hope to hear...that women can find a nice match that meets some of the criteria of what she needs.

Thanks for chiming in!

Lit is the wild west, as a woman newer to the space. I think generally most of us have a at least a slight preference, so while there's a veritable smorgasbord of men....finding the right one to make you smile and laugh (at the very least) can still be a bit of a hunt. I've had a few nice matches in my time here. ☺

 

[EktachromeJP]

Really appreciate the perspective. We really all do come here for different reasons and definitely worthy input.

Thank you!

I don't treat the personals as a smörgåsbord, i.e. considering to myself which personal of the daily crop stands out to me so I'll PM the writer. I will bump an ad if I read one that I think is clever, fresh and well-written, and give the writer encouragement. I prefer to interact through the threads, and if someone strikes my fancy or they stand out to me I'll PM them and see what happens. Sometimes I make a new friend, other times I never get a reply. But as someone much wiser than I stated some time ago, Lit isn't a dating site, so I don't treat it as such. Yes, people do hook up in real life after meeting here, but those are the exceptions, not the rule, and I don't have any pie in the sky expectations that I'll meet my next significant other here, through a personal or otherwise.

My two cents worth, take it for what it's worth.

 

[EktachromeJP]

I've always been under the impression that we're all human beings with feelings, so try to approach interactions with that as my lead. Time and effort have usually been rewarded, in my experience.

your part about "being more picky" is well taken, although i'd like to think i'm sort of picky too. That said, the picky i have is really about common interest and fit.

Thanks for the detailed thoughts, good to consider for sure.

These are both similar to how I feel.

I don't come here "looking" for anything. Anyone I have talked to over the years, usually happened because they were interacting in some way. I will bump ads that someone has taken the time to put some effort into.
Honestly. There are times when the personals can be the funniest place and I can use that.
But yes. Women can afford to be more picky. She can take the time to find a person that meshes with her personality more. But that is why getting out on the boards and interacting, is so important.
Pet peeve. I can't stand the guys who attack every females ad there is, purely looking for anything that breathes. That is a total turn off, and I wont reach out to that kind of person. I realize that guys have less "action" coming their way. But for gods sake. Have a few standards and a little self worth.

But despite what a lot of people think. Lit is not a dating site. So if relationships happen, it's because they happened naturally from getting to know people. Not because some guy left an ad that said "I'm horny, HMU"

Women truly like effort, and personality.

Good luck in what you are seeking.

 

[EktachromeJP]

Love the stat! ha!! i don't doubt that it's likely very accurate, very sadly.

i'm definitely seeing a theme with the other responses (and yours) which is time. To the surprise of no-one (to steal your stat) 93% of women are not "wham-bam-thankyou-maam" types.

thanks!!

93% of the lit men are horny with a chip on their shoulders because they feel they get picked over everytime... most of them try way too hard and come off either annoying or pushy...

I have a type... eh depending on my mood more like various types

But I still prefer to have things in common... also age..timezones.. compatibility in general are all important

I also have been around here a long time.

Someone's gonna have to put in work with me to spark some interest

But I expect they should expect that of me as well... alllll of it.

 

[EktachromeJP]

bluntly, the experience you've had is likely not dissimilar to most...that's truly terrible. Says a lot about men...not all men...but men in general i suppose. The entitlement is pretty ridic. I'd be over us too.

happy to hear you've found one you have that compatibility with. not to make it about me, but that's really all i want. I'm totally willing to put in the time.

Really appreciate the perspective and on another note, your language is very descriptive. I really like your writing style, despite the disappointment in the subject on which you write.

It’s not great.

I can see why it might appear as though the high male/female ratio would be great for women.

But the vast majority of men here seem to view women as nothing more than dick receptacles.

Having large quantities of people reaching out to you that don’t view you as an actual person is more dehumanizing than appealing. It’s not remotely flattering to be approached or fawned over for nothing other than having a warm wet hole.

There are some good men here. Genuinely good men. I’ve found a few, and lucked into being ridiculously compatible sexually with one in particular. But aside from him, I’m pretty much over men on lit.

Fortunately for me, and other bi or bicurious women, I’m not alone. Far be it from me to complain about how many of the gorgeous and sexy women on lit are looking to explore with other women instead of dealing with lecherous men.

 

[EktachromeJP]

I'll give you kudos that you're still here after the degrading messages you get. wow. I just don't understand how dudes treat other human beings that way. I probably shouldn't be surprised...but I am.

I am happy you've found a few people with whom you can chat.

Thanks for the input!

P.S. now all i can think about is a PoBoy from Parkway Bakery in New Orleans, with your screen name.

This. All of this! I may have suggestive pictures, and be pretty open when I post. But I am a woman, and a human that deserves respect. 99% of the time the PM’s I get are degrading, rude, and assumptions. Of the other 1%, 0.7% are nice about asking me to talk sex with them. It gets to the point I want to turn off the PM feature but I do have a few people I exclusively chat with on here.

 

[EktachromeJP]

On your terms...that totally is what it should be.

i'll admit i have no idea what buddy lists are, but if they help then that's awesome!

Thank you!

I've turned my PMs off, but use the buddy list if I want to talk to someone. I was here two years ago and encountered the 99% you speak of, so I left. But I did miss the variety of discussions and the laid-back atmosphere of the boards, so I decided to give the site another try, but on my terms and no one else's. I'm here to please myself and no one else.