Cock Talk

[hotwords229_A]

Okay, so while we’re talking painful does anyone have any horror stories or cock-up’s they want to share? Some dick mishaps in the bedroom, maybe a wee bend the wrong way, torn foreskin, ball twist, hockey puck to the sack? Maybe you had a vasectomy go bad.

Pony up with the cocktastrophies people!

I’ve been pretty lucky in the sack, the ballsack that is.

I’ve suffered all the usual guy moments, basketball bouncing up into my nuts, the dog jumping into my lap and stepping directly onto my dick, stunts with bikes that result in “seat slamming”, etc.

I think the worst thing I did was when I went through my “classic boxers” stage. I’m the kind of guy who, when unzipping has to do it fast and dramatically and the boxers don’t have a button or anything in the front escape hatch for containment. Well, the head of my dick slipped out as the zipper came down . . .

It wasn’t There’s Something about Mary level trauma, but I did catch a little piece of skin on the head. It stuck for a moment then came free, but left a little sore spot on the head of my dick for about a week.

Of course, I was getting ready to go out with this girl that I had every intention of having sex with that night (for the first time) and thought “well, now she’s going to see this and think I have some dick disease!” I was super bummed.

Luckily, she had no intention of ever having sex with me, as it turns out.

Wait, that wasn’t lucky!!!

 

[hotoldrguy]

What about sounding

 

[hotoldrguy]

Show, Show, Show your bone, Gently for a cause . . .

Never posed for one of these. I have not given much thought to the ramifications. I think many things we do come back to haunt us later in life.
Fortunately when I was young and foolish there was no SM and most of the compromising pics that were taken were Polaroid's that have long since faded.

 

[hotwords229_A]

Never posed for one of these. I have not given much thought to the ramifications. I think many things we do come back to haunt us later in life.
Fortunately when I was young and foolish there was no SM and most of the compromising pics that were taken were Polaroid's that have long since faded.

That’s my point, though. The pics will undoubtedly resurface, but if it was done for charity it will be seen as brave, if it was done for sexiness then you’re a perv.

Strange.

 

[hotoldrguy]

That’s my point, though. The pics will undoubtedly resurface, but if it was done for charity it will be seen as brave, if it was done for sexiness then you’re a perv.

Strange.

actually, that is a very good point.

 

[Series 6]

https://64.media.tumblr.com/6f7eb54cf84ffbdc93cbc15ae2baa1a9/8d9cd8910dd3a5ae-78/s400x600/b79540aacb294461cb768474414d39a2e7489ee6.jpg

I recently found out that the most famous full frontal guy we all know was portrayed as having a serious shrinkage issue. Not because Michelangelo gave David a little winky for laughs, but because he was about to face Goliath and therefore would go into “protection mode”. Something we guys have all experienced (shrinkage, not fighting Goliath).

On the other hand his balls are pretty impressive, so maybe not?

I remember learning somewhere that the Romans created the statues with "small" penises, not because the men had small penises back the, but because they viewed the portrayal of a man with a "large" penis as barbaric and brutish.

 

[Endless_Night]

That’s my point, though. The pics will undoubtedly resurface, but if it was done for charity it will be seen as brave, if it was done for sexiness then you’re a perv.

Strange.

Ah, but these were not only for charity, the taking is a tradition!

Totally different spin. That lumps in all kinds of thing like honor and privilege.

*nods*

 

[FranklyFrank]

Okay, so while we’re talking painful does anyone have any horror stories or cock-up’s they want to share? Some dick mishaps in the bedroom, maybe a wee bend the wrong way, torn foreskin, ball twist, hockey puck to the sack? Maybe you had a vasectomy go bad.

Pony up with the cocktastrophies people!

Well, I too had a zipper mishap which should be Lesson 101 when going commando ....take it nice and slow...you never know what may shift at the wrong moment as you are zipping up! Lesson only needed to be learned one time.

 

[FranklyFrank]

So what I’m hearing here today is zippers are not our friends.

exactly...zippers should come with a commando warning! You know...just like all the important other warnings like Do not use this toaster in the tub!

 

[LAHomedog]

Well, I too had a zipper mishap which should be Lesson 101 when going commando ....take it nice and slow...you never know what may shift at the wrong moment as you are zipping up! Lesson only needed to be learned one time.

I've also learned that lesson and that is why I wearing Levi 501s with a button fly

 

[FranklyFrank]

I really thought you were about to say something about sticking your cock in your toaster. I’m not one to kink shame but I was going to point out the safety of the tub in that scenario.

Ah ahahahah I probably should be warned of sticking my cock into places but NOT in a toaster!

 

[hotwords229_A]

Ah, but these were not only for charity, the taking is a tradition!

Totally different spin. That lumps in all kinds of thing like honor and privilege.

*nods*

I would never stand in the way of tradition. I never thought of dropping my pants as an act of honor, but when you put it like that . . .

So what I’m hearing here today is zippers are not our friends.

Zippers are evil and dangerous. Shouldn’t our pants be fastened with velcro? Why has no one thought of this?

 

[SassySheDevil]

I would never stand in the way of tradition. I never thought of dropping my pants as an act of honor, but when you put it like that . . .



Zippers are evil and dangerous. Shouldn’t our pants be fastened with velcro? Why has no one thought of this?

Cause some idiot would get his dick stuck in the velcro

 

[HeavyBalls]

Cause some idiot would get his dick stuck in the velcro

We men are very simple creatures...

 

[SassySheDevil]

We men are very simple creatures...

On most occasions. Yes.

 

[SunnySideOvum]

Sassy dishing up facts for dinner.

We have our moments. However small they may be.

 

[hotwords229_A]

OH MY DAYS!!! Totally not what I thought it was. Then again I thought teabagging was something totally different for ages too. I clearly haven’t lived!

“Sorry to bother you, but are those your balls on my face?”

https://64.media.tumblr.com/25188924a992e017df8ec56bb264ba0b/d29de52c3410d80c-62/s540x810/a8357507058f90ad680b742bedaac0c60fee77c1.jpg


Teabagging.

Thankfully, I have no personal experience with this bizarre act. But because I do an intense amount of research for this thread I have learned that teabagging can mean lowering your balls into the mouth of a willing recipient.

That’s new to me and, frankly, I don’t think I would get much out of that (other than blasting my quads ). Don’t get me wrong, I love ball play, but dipping them in and out of a mouth just seems pointless. Maybe I’m missing something?

I’ve always thought of teabagging as the act of lowering your nuts onto the face or forehead of a sleeping male* friend.

*If this is done to a female it is assault, if it is done to a male it’s hilarious.

I would never do this to anyone and if it were done to me I would punch the guy until he cried—not out of homophobia, but because a dude has to be able to trust his other dudes while sleeping and this is a clear violation of dudeness.

However, if this happens to someone I don’t know by someone else I also don’t know, then I admit it is funny.

It’s a weird thing to do and I don’t understand the psychology behind it. It reminds me of the South Park episode when Cartman took a picture of Butter’s dick in his mouth to show everyone that Butters was gay. It just doesn’t make sense.

But it is funny (as long as it happens to someone else).

Have you ever been teabagged?
Have you ever been the teabagger?
Why do you think guys do this kind of thing?
Is it dominance? Homophobia? Or just funny as shit?
What is the girl equivalent to teabagging their friends?
Am I stuck in perpetual 8th grade humor for thinking it’s funny?

 

[hotwords229_A]

Cause some idiot would get his dick stuck in the velcro

Come to think of it, pubes might stick.

 

[SunnySideOvum]

Come to think of it, pubes might stick.

Ouch. I felt this post.

 

[Cogan]

Cause some idiot would get his dick stuck in the velcro

This made me LOL big time!

 

[Endless_Night]

< Thankfully, I have no personal experience with this bizarre act. But because I do an intense amount of research for this thread - >

This thread is taking you to some straaaaaaange places.

Am I stuck in perpetual 8th grade humor for thinking it’s funny? [/B]

I mean, no judgements….

(Okay. Maybe a little judgement. )


I don't get the *funny* aspect. It's like body function humor. Maybe it goes back to the previous men are simple conversation.

Not to be misandrist….

(Okay. Maybe a little misandrist. )

 

[RustyIron]

So what I’m hearing here today is zippers are not our friends.

Oh you are so right there, going commando and jea zippers is bad news.
Twice experienced small piece of foreskin caught in the zipper, Ah fuck that hurts!.

There was also a couple times I split my foreskin (ah fucking ouch ), too horny, too hard, and a crazy wild fuck. Couldn't partake in any activities for about a month while I healed.

 

[Endless_Night]

Girls aren’t idiots. We don’t assault people with our genitals.

Aaaaaaaand, thank you!

*solidarity girls don't assault people with their genitals bump*



I feel like I should add that is not a sentence I ever expected to type.

 

[hotwords229_A]

Girls aren’t idiots. We don’t assault people with our genitals.

Yes. Now go do your homework.

This thread is taking you to some straaaaaaange places.



I mean, no judgements….

(Okay. Maybe a little judgement. )


I don't get the *funny* aspect. It's like body function humor. Maybe it goes back to the previous men are simple conversation.

Not to be misandrist….

(Okay. Maybe a little misandrist. )

Sometimes I think men and women are different.

 

[hotwords229_A]

Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian.

I’ve had that fantasy too.