When it's just not enough...

[In2Deep83]

You're married for a number of years and you've been through some pretty grueling stuff, you have a good job, amazing kids, a stunning home but it's still not enough.

You still feel like something is missing and you try to rationalize it by pretending you're fine but deep down you're not

You would give anything to feel those sparks and butterflies again, or that excited feeling when that message pops into your inbox.

We all have our story, and though many of us hide behind a mask desperate to hide our true selves what is the purpose really...

Don't we all just want to be accepted and appreciated and made to feel free...

 

[sexywriterfla]

You're married for a number of years and you've been through some pretty grueling stuff, you have a good job, amazing kids, a stunning home but it's still not enough.

You still feel like something is missing and you try to rationalize it by pretending you're fine but deep down you're not

You would give anything to feel those sparks and butterflies again, or that excited feeling when that message pops into your inbox.

We all have our story, and though many of us hide behind a mask desperate to hide our true selves what is the purpose really...

Don't we all just want to be accepted and appreciated and made to feel free...

Very much so. We think alike. PM me...

 

[jayjay04]

Last year in March (just before lockdown) my Mrs told me she wanted to split up after 14 years together.

To say it took me by surprise is an understatements. We have the best child in the world (I know I am biased but she is happy, loving and no real trouble), financially sound, own home, her job was not great but she could have left at any point as my income was enough if she had wanted.

She was not happy as we did not do much together. Looking back she was right, I did things with my little girl, she did things with her and we did things as a family. But as a couple, not so much. That didnt bother me as the day my little girl was born my life changed and we became a family. She wanted just our time - which is completely fine and understandable. The problem is that she never told me.

When she told me she wanted to split up, I listened to why she wanted to split up and once she explained it, I could see her point. I told her we would work on it, but her mind was made up.

As I could not get my head around how we could go from being good one minute to us having no chance of fixing it the next, I assumed she had been cheating so I checked her phone. Turns out she had been, for 6 months.

Once I pointed out a few things this lad had messaged her that she had lapped up or glossed over, she felt like an idiot and a slag (her words not mine). We are over. Had she just spoken to me before cheating on me, we would have rescued it as I fully understood why she was not happy. She is now living at her mums and wants to get back together and when drunk I get drunken messages from.

The point I am making is that before you do something you may regret or can not come back from, have the conversation. You may be able to fix it, you may not. You might just need that conversation where you both get back on the same page.

 

[LucianaGrace]

Firstly, it’s fucking tough. People gloss over it, but it’s the truth of the matter. And for that, my heart goes out to you. Truly.

My thoughts align with JayJay…communicate. It can be the hardest thing in the world to confront, especially after being with someone for so long. But there’s hope that truths can be revealed and shared if addressed early enough. Not communicating…well, resentment can take seed and continue to grow. And that’s even harder to come back from.

Again, my heart reaches out to all in this thread.

 

[Lovethefox]

Firstly, it’s fucking tough. People gloss over it, but it’s the truth of the matter. And for that, my heart goes out to you. Truly.

My thoughts align with JayJay…communicate. It can be the hardest thing in the world to confront, especially after being with someone for so long. But there’s hope that truths can be revealed and shared if addressed early enough. Not communicating…well, resentment can take seed and continue to grow. And that’s even harder to come back from.

Again, my heart reaches out to all in this thread.

I couldn’t agree with you more……
Everything is salvageable. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps and have the conversation before it’s too late. You may find that with some hard work that things may be even better for the both of you. We all have fantasies and want something new and exciting. Share those fantasies with each other, they may spark things up.
You never know unless you try.

Having been in your place and NOT having that conversation when I should have made it all that much harder. We did come back from it, but it wasn’t with out consequence.

 

[corsair978]

Last year in March (just before lockdown) my Mrs told me she wanted to split up after 14 years together.

To say it took me by surprise is an understatements. We have the best child in the world (I know I am biased but she is happy, loving and no real trouble), financially sound, own home, her job was not great but she could have left at any point as my income was enough if she had wanted.

She was not happy as we did not do much together. Looking back she was right, I did things with my little girl, she did things with her and we did things as a family. But as a couple, not so much. That didnt bother me as the day my little girl was born my life changed and we became a family. She wanted just our time - which is completely fine and understandable. The problem is that she never told me.

When she told me she wanted to split up, I listened to why she wanted to split up and once she explained it, I could see her point. I told her we would work on it, but her mind was made up.

As I could not get my head around how we could go from being good one minute to us having no chance of fixing it the next, I assumed she had been cheating so I checked her phone. Turns out she had been, for 6 months.

Once I pointed out a few things this lad had messaged her that she had lapped up or glossed over, she felt like an idiot and a slag (her words not mine). We are over. Had she just spoken to me before cheating on me, we would have rescued it as I fully understood why she was not happy. She is now living at her mums and wants to get back together and when drunk I get drunken messages from.

The point I am making is that before you do something you may regret or can not come back from, have the conversation. You may be able to fix it, you may not. You might just need that conversation where you both get back on the same page.

There really are moments when Lit shows the best of us instead of the worst

 

[Fahkluv88]

In2deep83 why don’t you leave

Be honest, maybe they see through your mask. So, faking it is only making things worse. -Chey

 

[Fahkluv88]

You're married for a number of years and you've been through some pretty grueling stuff, you have a good job, amazing kids, a stunning home but it's still not enough.

You still feel like something is missing and you try to rationalize it by pretending you're fine but deep down you're not

You would give anything to feel those sparks and butterflies again, or that excited feeling when that message pops into your inbox.

We all have our story, and though many of us hide behind a mask desperate to hide our true selves what is the purpose really...

Don't we all just want to be accepted and appreciated and made to feel free...

Posts: 2
In2deep83 why don’t you leave
Be honest, maybe they see through your mask. So, faking it is only making things worse. -Chey

 

[Deleted member 5521640]

Posts: 2
In2deep83 why don’t you leave
Be honest, maybe they see through your mask. So, faking it is only making things worse. -Chey

The OP has indeed left. Whether permanently or they have a new alt remains to be seen.

 

[MMM_wms]

Posts: 2
In2deep83 why don’t you leave
Be honest, maybe they see through your mask. So, faking it is only making things worse. -Chey

Well, she DID leave. And if I count right, she left before you asked her for it. What do you say to that?