'Hotel California-You can check out anytime you like-"But you will never leave"

WALTERALBERT

Virgin
Joined
Jun 30, 2021
Posts
10
'Hotel California-You can check out anytime you like-"But you will never leave"

Suppose the 1970's classic song 'Hotel California' was about a true horror story that dealt with devil worship, lust,--and murder.---"You can check out anytime you like--but you will never leave"(last verse I made up)---Who was the 'Captain' and/or 'The Master'

What happened to the residents that stayed there?
 
Move it to Ireland and call it Hotel Caledonia. Invoke horny bog spirits and insatiable hellhounds. Or set it in Guatemala and call it Hotel Avocado, with menacing Maya demons nearby. "Livin' it up in the Hotel Guacamole," eh?

Protip: Do not set your lounge chair under a Mesoamerican avocado tree. The scaly fruit can weigh 10 lbs (4.5 kg) and will severely zap you when landing on your head.

Oh, Hotel California. Set it in Hell CA, a village on the Mojave Desert, not far from old US-66. This is drought season so the local wells are dry and thirsty subterranean demons tunnel up, looking for juice. Don't be juicy in Hell CA.
 
If you leave the hotel, you die. If you stay, you live forever looking just like you did when you were 25(pick an age). No one there is married anymore, although they might have been when the checked in, yet all are willing to hook up for any number of nights and day. Orgies in the lounge every afternoon. You can drink as much as you want and never get drunk. You do get a buzz, but never drunk.

So what else happens in the Hotel California?
 
My Halloween story, a first draft of which is done, plays on this concept, with an erotic twist, about a man who rents an apartment in a mysterious high-rise.

In fact, my draft starts with a quote of that line from the Eagles song.
 
Taking a cue from Heinlein's CROOKED HOUSE, the Hotel Californicatia is a collapsed multidimensional hypercube. Entry is inevitable; exit is impossible. The door out always leads back inside. Yet it never overflows because its dimensions are infinite. Food, drink, and cleaning and medical supplies never run out. Due to its curved energy fields, pregnancies never occur. Et cetera.
 
the final resort

For a darker topical tale, Hotel Unvaxinata caters to those unwilling to receive a COVID vaccine. 'Checking in' means entering permanent quarantine, with hot orgies for all, and no masks, clothes, condoms, none of that shit. 'Checking out' is death. 'Never leave' means your cremated ashes are poured into the cavern below the basement. All guests are registered as suicides.
 
Back
Top