Feedback on a synopsis to an untitled D/s novel...

[txblush]

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[ElectricBlue]

A quick glance tells me you have an immediate problem that means this will never fly at Literotica.

You refer to a child with a five year old spirit, and then allude to a Daddy/little relationship. That's a complete no-go here. No sexual activity with any person under eighteen, is the number one rule on this site.

You should take this synopsis down too, because it breaches the site's policy of content being posted without reference to the site editor first.

 

[lovecraft68]

A quick glance tells me you have an immediate problem that means this will never fly at Literotica.

You refer to a child with a five year old spirit, and then allude to a Daddy/little relationship. That's a complete no-go here. No sexual activity with any person under eighteen, is the number one rule on this site.

You should take this synopsis down too, because it breaches the site's policy of content being posted without reference to the site editor first.

How's Suzie doing these days speaking of child like spirts and little girls on Lits boards?

Just asking.

 

[txblush]

Thanks Electricblue. Yes I should have reiterated that there isn't any sex with an underage spirit/soul of the submissive in the Daddy/little relationship. Just didn't know the best way to word it. Thank you for taking the time to read my post.

 

[ElectricBlue]

Thanks Electricblue. Yes I should have reiterated that there isn't any sex with an underage spirit/soul of the submissive in the Daddy/little relationship. Just didn't know the best way to word it. Thank you for taking the time to read my post.

Daddy-little stories are always problematic for Lit, because it's the behaviour as written that's the issue.

A twenty-five year old woman behaving as a little would most likely be portrayed as acting with young teenage behaviour, and in an erotic story, that by definition must eventually become sexual - and there's the line, no matter how you establish the chronological age of the woman.

You might not be writing her behaviour that way, but I'm not sure the little dynamic works with eighteen year old mature teen behaviour. It might, but I doubt it. Good luck with your story though - there are platforms out there that would allow it, I'm sure. 128k words is a novel, so be proud of it.

 

[txblush]

Daddy-little stories are always problematic for Lit, because it's the behaviour as written that's the issue.

A twenty-five year old woman behaving as a little would most likely be portrayed as acting with young teenage behaviour, and in an erotic story, that by definition must eventually become sexual - and there's the line, no matter how you establish the chronological age of the woman.

You might not be writing her behaviour that way, but I'm not sure the little dynamic works with eighteen year old mature teen behaviour. It might, but I doubt it. Good luck with your story though - there are platforms out there that would allow it, I'm sure. 128k words is a novel, so be proud of it.

Yes, I had a feeling it was going to pose a problem with Lit's must be 18 year old rule. At the same I needed to know if the synopsis was missing some thing. And you answered that question with your first comment. So it was worth it.

In the original manuscript the MFC was a 19 year old brat. But I rather like that she's 29 years old with a spirit/soul of a little girl she brought to life through the power of suggestion aka self-hypnosis.

 

[ElectricBlue]

Yes, I had a feeling it was going to pose a problem with Lit's must be 18 year old rule. At the same I needed to know if the synopsis was missing some thing. And you answered that question with your first comment. So it was worth it.

In the original manuscript the MFC was a 19 year old brat. But I rather like that she's 29 years old with a spirit/soul of a little girl she brought to life through the power of suggestion aka self-hypnosis.

Your little girl spirit will remain the problem for Lit, because presumably it influences your (adult) brat's behaviour. Is it embedded in the story, in a sexual sense, or can you back it out so she's a role-playing adult? That might pass.

 

[txblush]

Your little girl spirit will remain the problem for Lit, because presumably it influences your (adult) brat's behaviour. Is it embedded in the story, in a sexual sense, or can you back it out so she's a role-playing adult? That might pass.

It's role-playing taken to the extreme because the main female character is under the influence of a self induced trance. Hypnosis can only be achieved by a willing participant, but in this case her spirit/soul wants to take control. It's a battle of wills, and moral ethics that I believe people deal with when they're faced with growing up to become the person they're meant to be with the support of others in the D/s lifestyle. She's done the work to become the submissive woman she is, but in the process has separated her soul from her mind and body.

I've done research over the years on both topics and believe the story is plausible if a reader is willing to stretch their imagination and not get hung up on the fact the little is a certain age because there isn't any sex between Daddy/little just a disciplinary scene where he won't tolerate her misbehavior in the hopes fear will put his little girl back in her place.... in the heart of the woman he loves.

FYI - I went back to the synopsis to rewrite it in present tense. It's 1084 word count. I can't seem to make it one page but I added your suggestion instead of alluding to a Daddy/little relationship. Thanks again.