Sexless Marriages

[pennst8er91]

I miss affection, intimacy, sex and physical and verbal expressions of love so much it’s sometimes difficult to breathe.

Bingo! I think it goes far beyond sex. It's the affection, the flirty looks, the cuddling on the couch, the feeling of being desired.

 

[Lost_Yonder]

I miss long passionate kisses...

 

[LustyScribe]

Bingo! I think it goes far beyond sex. It's the affection, the flirty looks, the cuddling on the couch, the feeling of being desired.

I made the mistake of mentioning "making out" the other day to my wife, in kind of a joking (I NEVER actually hold out any real hope any more) manner.

You'd have thought I suggested playing in the sewer.

 

[Chillygirl]

Bingo! I think it goes far beyond sex. It's the affection, the flirty looks, the cuddling on the couch, the feeling of being desired.

I am so guilty of this.* I get caught up in life and forget how good touch feels. Sometimes I have to make myself hold his hand and hold that hug a second or two longer to remind myself we both need that contact.

**meaning I’m bad about giving that affection

 

[skirt_chaser]

Checking in...I think this is where I belong.

52, nurse.

Mature MWM from the Midwest here. Tried to PM you, but your box is full.

 

[skirt_chaser]

I made the mistake of mentioning "making out" the other day to my wife, in kind of a joking (I NEVER actually hold out any real hope any more) manner.

You'd have thought I suggested playing in the sewer.

Yeah, I asked: "Remember the first time we fucked?" And got a nasty glare back at me. Sigh.

 

[skirt_chaser]

I am so guilty of this.* I get caught up in life and forget how good touch feels. Sometimes I have to make myself hold his hand and hold that hug a second or two longer to remind myself we both need that contact.

**meaning I’m bad about giving that affection

Touching, cuddling and kissing is always nice. Passionate fucking is fun. Right now, I'd like some affection and intimacy again.

 

[10169kek]

A lot of us would.

Her words 10 years ago still resonate in my head :

"I have no interest, no desire, you have a hand, take care of your problem your self".

The day the intimacy completely died ...

 

[LustyScribe]

A lot of us would.

Her words 10 years ago still resonate in my head :

"I have no interest, no desire, you have a hand, take care of your problem your self".

The day the intimacy completely died ...

Wow. That's cold.
In my situation, I find myself really wanting to retaliate: No more massaging her back or legs (I have very good skills, I am told). No more kind words, no affirmations of my love. Just to let her get a taste of it. Unfortunately, I really LIKE doing nice things for people I care about, so within a week at most I am back. If I were ever to find a woman who appreciated a man loving on her, one who made even attempts to respond in kind, I am afraid my marriage would be in serious danger. And of course, I'd be the one demonized for it. Meanwhile, her abandonment of me will never be spoken of. Truly growing to resent her.

 

[Lost_Yonder]

Wow. That's cold.
In my situation, I find myself really wanting to retaliate: No more massaging her back or legs (I have very good skills, I am told). No more kind words, no affirmations of my love. Just to let her get a taste of it. Unfortunately, I really LIKE doing nice things for people I care about, so within a week at most I am back. If I were ever to find a woman who appreciated a man loving on her, one who made even attempts to respond in kind, I am afraid my marriage would be in serious danger. And of course, I'd be the one demonized for it. Meanwhile, her abandonment of me will never be spoken of. Truly growing to resent her.

That abandonment you feel is a seed that keeps growing into resentment, frustration, anger ... I hope you can find some way of keeping it at bay - it's a downward spiral to an ugly world that isn't us, isn't how we want to be in the world. There are no redos here, no second-times around to correct the mistakes we made. This is it, life doesn't have to be ugly...

 

[LustyScribe]

That abandonment you feel is a seed that keeps growing into resentment, frustration, anger ... I hope you can find some way of keeping it at bay - it's a downward spiral to an ugly world that isn't us, isn't how we want to be in the world. There are no redos here, no second-times around to correct the mistakes we made. This is it, life doesn't have to be ugly...

Thanks. I think that's part of the frustration: I'm NOT that kind of person. If I could be a cold, heartless bastard, it might be easier.

 

[Lost_Yonder]

Thanks. I think that's part of the frustration: I'm NOT that kind of person. If I could be a cold, heartless bastard, it might be easier.

I went down that path for a bit, but it made her even more angry and mean, unable to see I was merely treating her how she was treating me. It just wasn't natural. I'm lucky in that she has changed over the past few years, but the memories of meanness don't go away and every now and then she has a barb that eats right into my heart.

I just can no longer even imagine having sex with her, of giving myself like that to someone who was so cruel. It is easier with a complete stranger than someone I know so well...

 

[Mtnmike]

A lot of us would.

Her words 10 years ago still resonate in my head :

"I have no interest, no desire, you have a hand, take care of your problem your self".

The day the intimacy completely died ...

O Wow, that are the words I to heard 12 years ago, word for word.

 

[Oldsucker]

Sexless

My supply of cock to suck and wank depends on sexless marriages.
I’m sorry about my selfishness,and your lack of sex.
But on the positive side, I get glorious needy cock that needs to spurt.

 

[KeenVoyeur]

My supply of cock to suck and wank depends on sexless marriages.
I’m sorry about my selfishness,and your lack of sex.
But on the positive side, I get glorious needy cock that needs to spurt.

That's a rather brazen introduction to this thread!

I'm sure there will be a queue forming of guys who want to be treated like some kind of lab rat and perhaps you should explore other threads on this site for that?

 

[NoUseForAnyName]

I feel this entire thread so goshdarn hard....

 

[Bud_Spencer]

This thread really hits me where I live. It's so hard when you love someone who tells you she loves you back, but refuses to open herself sexual expression of that love. It's a cold, stark landscape for a guy who wants to remain faithful.

 

[LustyScribe]

This thread really hits me where I live. It's so hard when you love someone who tells you she loves you back, but refuses to open herself sexual expression of that love. It's a cold, stark landscape for a guy who wants to remain faithful.

That refusal cuts deep. I'd almost rather find out she is fooling around, I think, rather than deal with the cold, harsh reality that there is NO warmth, no hope flickering inside her. And yep, makes the idea of being faithful SO bleak.

 

[Bud_Spencer]

That refusal cuts deep. I'd almost rather find out she is fooling around, I think, rather than deal with the cold, harsh reality that there is NO warmth, no hope flickering inside her. And yep, makes the idea of being faithful SO bleak.

In 28 years I haven't touched another woman sexually. My will power is eroding, however. It's the feeling of being abandoned that really scorches one's psyche, I think. You eventually conclude that you've lost it, what so many women saw and loved in you before...it's just gone.

 

[NoUseForAnyName]

In 28 years I haven't touched another woman sexually. My will power is eroding, however. It's the feeling of being abandoned that really scorches one's psyche, I think. You eventually conclude that you've lost it, what so many women saw and loved in you before...it's just gone.

I totally know what you mean...

 

[skirt_chaser]

I totally know what you mean...

That's why I started fucking select escorts. I don't like to pay, but hookers can sure satisfy sexually.

 

[LustyScribe]

That's why I started fucking select escorts. I don't like to pay, but hookers can sure satisfy sexually.

Certainly not going to downplay the value of sex just for the sake of sex; hell, there are days I'd screw a rabid rattlesnake if I could get a good grip. And a good, clean professional? Wow!

But it doesn't replace the connection of a strong relationship, and losing that...sucks. Especially when there is no more evident reason than "I don't want you anymore." Might as well just dig a hole & bury your ego; it's shot.

 

[gabesdadd]

Been married 14 years and with my wife 27. We are past hallway sex. So sick of it.

 

[Lost_Yonder]

It's a dark, lonely road no matter which one you go down - stay faithful and allow the frustration to brew inside of you (and it does start changing you, impacting your relationship) or to find sexual fulfillment elsewhere. I followed the latter path and found myself seeking out sex just for the sake of sex, hook ups, cheap thrills, whatever I could find. It was cathartic, I won't deny that, but it did leave eventually a deeper and darker hole. Ultimately I was made to realize that what I craved wasn't sex but intimacy and the kinds of women I was hooking up with weren't providing that.

I did finally find a unicorn, a young lady who forced me to rethink and reevaluate my needs, who I could be intimate with and have amazing sex with. While we were together, and I know many may not fully appreciate this, but I also felt my relationship with my wife improved as I know longer felt the bitter sting of her cold shoulder. I could curl up with another and just cuddle all day (regretfully not that often) but it made it so much easier to cope with the home situation.

She finally went her own way, but I stopped my meaningless flings after her. Sadly I haven't had sex since then and that was 3 years ago now. If I were to find another like her I may jump at the opportunity, though quite honestly it would be nearly impossible these days given my living/work situation.

I know it isn't for everyone and it the potential of being caught is there, but that might not be such a bad thing - sometimes we need a reckoning...

As LustScribe said, I almost wish she was having her own affair - not to justify mine, but to know that she does actually have a sexual self. I think she deserves that and can accept that it isn't with me...

 

[Jonjonjohnson]

Only 1 of us (in my marriage) is not having sex, 1 guess who that is. We have an open marriage, she just neglected to tell me about it. I refuse to cheat so therefore there is bugger all sex for me.