Looking for feedback - A New Chapter In Her Life

[CarnalLusts]

So, I've been off and on Lit for many years and currently working under a new pen name: Carnallusts. While some of my stories (or chapters in my stories) receive reader comments, most are not very helpful. Info below. Appreciate your time.

Title: A New Chapter In Her Life

Category: Novel/Novella (but could probably be better placed under Loving Wives)

Find it here: https://www.literotica.com/s/a-new-chapter-in-her-life-ch-01

 

[NotWise]

i get the impression that you wanted that sex scene right up front. You got that, and I'm not sure that I understand your character any better because of it.

Your narrative is fine and you express yourself well. Personally, I could have used more dialogue and less narrative.

 

[CarnalLusts]

Character development

i get the impression that you wanted that sex scene right up front. You got that, and I'm not sure that I understand your character any better because of it.

Your narrative is fine and you express yourself well. Personally, I could have used more dialogue and less narrative.

Appreciate the feedback. I do agree, now that I've reread it again. My characters are undeveloped and more dialogue could help flesh them out. I find myself getting sucked (pun) into the action that I forget to work on what is driving the action.