Am I looking for a woman who does not exist, maybe?

[MMM_wms]

When I review my empty PM inbox, despite having posted several personal ads lately, I ask myself the question above. But then I realize that suspicion must be wrong, since I do meet women off and on, who seem right for me. OK I admit, only one of them is still a good friend of mine after more than two years of exchanging mails, limited to intellectual exchanges nowadays. And only with three Lit women have I been in love for more than a year. So establishing a deep connection with a woman, does not happen for me every day.

But it does happen, and I want to review briefly now, what is required for me, for it to happen. It turns out that I am really very modest when it comes to my needs. I need to meet a woman with a certain degree of spontaneity first of all. Because a courtship lasting until Labor Day is just not my thing. I know for sure - I guess? - that I am the best man under the sun for the kind of loving woman I seek, so all she has to do is recognize that also, I figure. Without any need for courtship.

Next I search for something that sounds easy, trivial even maybe, but it is not trivial at all, as I have found out: a relationship driven by true equality and mutuality. Sure, many people pay lip service to these two concepts, but hardly anyone knows – and practices – what they entail and require. And for women this seems even more difficult than for men, because of all sorts of “built-in” privileges women enjoy in modern societies.

So women who have become feminists are untouchable for me. I was an avid supporter of the women’s liberation movement, when it began, only I was wondering, why the movement did not openly embrace the liberation of BOTH genders from fixed roles not suitable for either of them. But unfortunately then, women’s liberation morphed into feminism after a while, and the whole thing turned into discrimination the other way around.

Next most important item: equally strong needs for the companionship both of us seek. When one “party” only sees that as something nice to have, while the other one direly needs it, eventual doom is programmed into a relationship, right from the start. That is my firm conviction, anyway.

And now finally requirement #4: I am a sapiosexual man, and I hope you are a sapiosexual woman, so a certain amount of attraction for each other emanates from our mutual sapiosexuality already. BUT in addition, I must feel some physical attraction to you as a female woman. And I am fairly sure, you require this of me also, when you are honest with yourself.

So all in all, only four “things” need to work out right, for you and me becoming happy with one another. Seems not totally impossible, wouldn’t you agree with me?

 

[Mom_nxtdoor]

Well said. Attraction is in the little details...

 

[DreamMerchant7]

When I review my empty PM inbox, despite having posted several personal ads lately, I ask myself the question above. But then I realize that suspicion must be wrong, since I do meet women off and on, who seem right for me. OK I admit, only one of them is still a good friend of mine after more than two years of exchanging mails, limited to intellectual exchanges nowadays. And only with three women have I been in love for more than a year. So establishing a deep connection with a woman, does not happen for me every day.

But it does happen, and I want to review briefly now, what is required for me, for it to happen. It turns out that I am really very modest when it comes to my needs. I need to meet a woman with a certain degree of spontaneity first of all. Because a courtship lasting until Labor Day is just not my thing. I know with one hundred percent certainty that I am the best man under the sun for the kind of loving woman I seek, so all she has to do is recognize that also, I figure. Without any need for courtship.

Next I search for something that sounds easy, trivial even maybe, but it is not trivial at all, as I have found out: a relationship driven by true equality and mutuality. Sure, many people pay lip service to these two concepts, but hardly anyone knows – and practices – what they entail and require. And for women this seems even more difficult than for men, because of all sorts of “built-in” privileges women enjoy in modern societies.

So women who have become feminists are untouchable for me. I was an avid supporter of the women’s liberation movement, when it began, only I was wondering, why the movement did not openly embrace the liberation of BOTH genders from fixed roles not suitable for either of them. But unfortunately then, women’s liberation morphed into feminism after a while, and the whole thing turned into discrimination the other way around.

Next most important item: equally strong needs for the companionship both of us seek. When one “party” only sees that as something nice to have, while the other one direly needs it, eventual doom is programmed into a relationship, right from the start. That is my firm conviction, anyway.

And now finally requirement #4: I am a sapiosexual man, and I hope you are a sapiosexual woman, so a certain amount of attraction for each other emanates from our mutual sapiosexuality already. BUT in addition, I must feel some physical attraction to you as a female woman. And I am fairly sure, you require this of me also, when you are honest with yourself.

So all in all, only four “things” need to work out right, for you and me becoming happy with one another. Seems not totally impossible, wouldn’t you agree with me?

...................................................................................................

Best of luck mate. Wonderfully written. May the best people come to you.

 

[filt]

I wish you the best of luck.

My experience has taught me that personals seldom garner much interest. I’ve noticed the more you interact on the board, perhaps the playground helps you get noticed and interact with folk. Had more fun and joy that way than personals have garnered.

That said, I would post a personal again.

Hope you find what you’re searching for.

 

[MMM_wms]

I wish you the best of luck.

My experience has taught me that personals seldom garner much interest. I’ve noticed the more you interact on the board, perhaps the playground helps you get noticed and interact with folk. Had more fun and joy that way than personals have garnered.

That said, I would post a personal again.

Hope you find what you’re searching for.

Thank you for your well wishes, filt. And for your feedback also. I tend to agree with you, BTW, except that the interaction you speak of, happens too rarely fo my liking.

But the only woman who PMed me on my ad, wrote me a few sentences at most, including an intention she has not stood behind. So reading posts written by women, who know what they want, and responding to them, seems a far better approach for making a connection.

How is your own search coming along, btw? My best wishes for a happy outcome soon! And a nice day to you as well.

 

[Satinfan162]

It's a numbers game.

I once knew a beautiful women. She recounted to me the summer between her junior and senior year of college. She went to Alaska to work as a private guide and to "try out a few potential husbands."

I queried "Why Alaska?"

Her response, "It's a numbers game. Alaska is full of rugged young outdoors men and devoid of hot sorority girls."

Dude get off this board and go to yoga class. That's where you find open minded fit women in droves. If you have a fat wallet stick that in the back of your yoga pants. Plan on lattes. Lots and lots of lattes.