Seeking Feedback on my Stories

[MissDarkKitten]

I am relatively new to this but I have had this long interest to write and put to words my fantasies and scenarios that I would like to explore and experience. I welcome your feedback, your thoughts on my first 2 stories, suggestions on how to build on this start, themes and characters that you think can make special appearances in future chapters.

Thank you.

DK

https://www.literotica.com/beta/s/cum-play-kitten-ch-01
https://www.literotica.com/beta/s/kitten-gets-her-warm-treat

 

[NotWise]

I am relatively new to this but I have had this long interest to write and put to words my fantasies and scenarios that I would like to explore and experience. I welcome your feedback, your thoughts on my first 2 stories, suggestions on how to build on this start, themes and characters that you think can make special appearances in future chapters.

Thank you.

DK

https://www.literotica.com/beta/s/cum-play-kitten-ch-01
https://www.literotica.com/beta/s/ki...her-warm-treat

Your link to the newest story is broken, but it was easy enough to get to it through your profile page.

It was very erotic, but also very short. Readers' enjoyment (as measured by the rating) tends to be higher in stories that are long enough to get them involved.

Your topic isn't a thing for me, so this could be off track. If you want to expand and extend the story, you could give the characters some friends and add dialogue.

The only other suggestion I'll make is that you might want to simplify some of your sentences. I had to stop and re-read a couple times.

 

[MissDarkKitten]

Your link to the newest story is broken, but it was easy enough to get to it through your profile page.

It was very erotic, but also very short. Readers' enjoyment (as measured by the rating) tends to be higher in stories that are long enough to get them involved.

Your topic isn't a thing for me, so this could be off track. If you want to expand and extend the story, you could give the characters some friends and add dialogue.

The only other suggestion I'll make is that you might want to simplify some of your sentences. I had to stop and re-read a couple times.

Thank you for taking the time to write and your feedback. I will certainly take this into consideration. And I fixed the link to the story!

 

[John_Updick]

I think you write well, in the sense that you are well spoken. Your sentence structure is good. I just wrote my first story in this “erotic” genre (have not posted yet), and I’m finding how hard it can be. Describing sex is hard. You do a great job describing an orgasm. I consider this type of writing pulp, and pulp is definitely different than much of the stuff I read. But one of the great pulp writers, Elmore Leonard, famously put out his 10 rules of writing. They are very short and you can look them up online. I think they work well for this type of writing. They all have to do with taking the author out of the story. Not spoon feeding the reader or telling the reader what to think. Letting the reader come to their own conclusions. Not being intrusive. It seems easy but is surprisingly difficult. It takes discipline to cut the prolix. But in the end you get a much easier read. It tends to be less descriptive, and more dialogue driven. You get to know the characters by what they say, not by what the author tells you about them.

Anyway... you’re hot! Keep it up.

Here’s one of the many links you can find Leonard’s 10 rules of writing.
https://fs.blog/2013/09/elmore-leonard-10-rules-of-writing/
I find them to be helpful personally... you might too.
Your’s truly,
John Updick

 

[RandyD1369]

Considering how short the story is, it's shockingly effective. Excellent descriptions that captured both the mood and the feelings of the players on your stage. Lit readers do like longer stories, though, and that will impact the voted score. Excellent job for an early effort. Keep them coming.

 

[Lady2020]

Well done. Keep writing. There is a place for "shorter" stories.

 

[Nellymcboatface]

Short can be great

I enjoyed it, you packed a whole lot in there and built it up nicely.
Nothing wrong with being short, I fitted it in nicely between a few things, so it made a nice break.
I'll delve out your other..
Stay Safe.
Nelly

 

[LGibsonsTiedMind]

Very sexy

I am relatively new to this but I have had this long interest to write and put to words my fantasies and scenarios that I would like to explore and experience. I welcome your feedback, your thoughts on my first 2 stories, suggestions on how to build on this start, themes and characters that you think can make special appearances in future chapters.

Thank you.

DK

https://www.literotica.com/beta/s/cum-play-kitten-ch-01
https://www.literotica.com/beta/s/kitten-gets-her-warm-treat

I enjoyed this a lot! I like short stories, but a bit more detail might be nice.

Check out my stories if you have the time!

 

[gunhilltrain]

I Iooked looked at your profile page, and you've gotten really good scores for your first time out. I don't see the story about the "warm treat." I assume you changed the name of that one? Is it now of the three kitten stories?