❓ Inquiring Minds Want To Know - Discussion Thread

[haha_on_me]

#78

Secret Ingredients

I know...I know... most of us don't like to be defined by labels. But they are broadly useful especially in categorizing what you want at first.

However, are there certain things you like that would surprise someone reading your 'label'. What secret, kinky ingredients do you contain?

Caregiver tendencies with a dash of Daddy wonderment. All organic I might add.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

#78

Secret Ingredients

I know...I know... most of us don't like to be defined by labels. But they are broadly useful especially in categorizing what you want at first.

However, are there certain things you like that would surprise someone reading your 'label'. What secret, kinky ingredients do you contain?

Do I even have any secrets left?!

I've always been an open book. There might a couple of things that only a partner or two knows about, but very nearly everything else is on a thread, somewhere.

 

[AveryElle]

#78

Secret Ingredients

I know...I know... most of us don't like to be defined by labels. But they are broadly useful especially in categorizing what you want at first.

However, are there certain things you like that would surprise someone reading your 'label'. What secret, kinky ingredients do you contain?

Nothing is secret. Just ask. I don’t appreciate loud overtness on many levels, with kink included. So just ask because I won’t post it on Facebook, in case you’re waiting for that.

 

[twister947]

I withdraw my question.

 

[AnnieLit]

Will you get the vaccine? If not, why not?

I plan to.

Interesting question for a BDSM thread... Let's see:
- Am I into needle play? No.
- Am I into any sort of medical play? No.
- Will it hurt? Probably not much and even if it will it definitely will not be in a good way.
- Will Daddy be the one to give it to me? (From Him I will take anything)). Unfortunately also a no.
- Will it help in any way to see Daddy sooner? No (there are other things besides covid that are in the way).

Then why could I possibly want to do it?

 

[ashkitten]

#78

Secret Ingredients

I know...I know... most of us don't like to be defined by labels. But they are broadly useful especially in categorizing what you want at first.

However, are there certain things you like that would surprise someone reading your 'label'. What secret, kinky ingredients do you contain?

Ooh, I like this question. I don't think it's so much a secret ingredient so much as a rare interaction of ingredients. I am v stubborn which as a sub usually manifests as "yes, I CAN swallow this whole dick" not as balking my dom. But sometimes if my stubbornness & sass levels are high and my partner's ingredients are like service top with a strong side of switchiness, roles will switch over for a bit. It's not something I actively seek or fantasize about, but it was fun when it happened.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

#78

Secret Ingredients

I know...I know... most of us don't like to be defined by labels. But they are broadly useful especially in categorizing what you want at first.

However, are there certain things you like that would surprise someone reading your 'label'. What secret, kinky ingredients do you contain?

Possibly religious kink and mind control, which are both pretty fucking delightful. I love corruption scenarios of all kinds, and that sometimes dovetails with DD/lg, too.

Labels suck, but they are useful, otherwise every trip to the grocery store (even pre-covid) would take a full day and involve can openers and portable lab kits.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

#79

#79 (submitted)

Does aesthetic affect your attraction?
There is glamour bdsm, vintage bdsm, pet play, pretty version of bdsm. At the other end of the spectrum you have messy, dirty, rough, "ugly" bdsm ... and a million things in between. Does aesthetic affect or determine your attraction? How so?

 

[Acktion]

#79 (submitted)

Does aesthetic affect your attraction?
There is glamour bdsm, vintage bdsm, pet play, pretty version of bdsm. At the other end of the spectrum you have messy, dirty, rough, "ugly" bdsm ... and a million things in between. Does aesthetic affect or determine your attraction? How so?

“Beauty is how you feel inside, and it reflects in your eyes. It is not something physical.”
― Sophia Loren

Yes, aesthetics are very important to me.

I readily admit that I'm shallow enough that if she didn't look good to me, this flight of fancy wasn't ever getting off the ground.

But, if you don't come out the other end of a training session looking like a trailer park after a tornado, but with a glow in your eyes, then I didn't do right by you.

There is nothing more aesthetically pleasing than that fresh fucked look.

 

[Mei5ter]

#79 (submitted)

Does aesthetic affect your attraction?
There is glamour bdsm, vintage bdsm, pet play, pretty version of bdsm. At the other end of the spectrum you have messy, dirty, rough, "ugly" bdsm ... and a million things in between. Does aesthetic affect or determine your attraction? How so?

I'm going to put in a good word for what some might call Hallmark BDSM, or Inspirational Cat Poster Kink.

Now, this is the kind of stuff that self-proclaimed BDSM experts often sneer at. So no, it's not 'realistic' - it's studio porn, so that goes with the territory, and there's plenty of 'authentic' BDSM porn out there if that's what you prefer. And yes, the little quotations can sometimes feel cheesy rather than erotic, just as any quote can resonate with one person while seeming trite to another. But there is something almost impossibly glamorous and seductive about some of these images, and this can speak to people who would otherwise view BDSM with mistrust and suspicion. It's an impressionistic view of kink rather than a strictly accurate one, but anything which helps persuade the wider world that kink can be an amazingly beautiful, positive thing enjoyed by healthy and normal people is okay in my book. I've spent enough time feeling awkward about my sexual tastes, and anything which eases that is good with me.

I still wish the guys could wear a decent suit once in a while, though.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

* some guys

 

[Little_Horny_Redhead]

Aesthetics are important for attraction, however, this isn't the defining factor to me.

What attracts me to a person is for them to intellectually challenge and appreciate me and to have that mental connection. If that isn't there then you could be the most amazing looking person in the world, I still wouldn't go there.

Saying this of course I appreciate looks but even though I do find a suit attractive in certain circumstances I also love the jeans and boots look, this is on both women and men. If they wear confidence with the outfit that will make me a little weak at the knees

 

[AveryElle]

#79 (submitted)

Does aesthetic affect your attraction?
There is glamour bdsm, vintage bdsm, pet play, pretty version of bdsm. At the other end of the spectrum you have messy, dirty, rough, "ugly" bdsm ... and a million things in between. Does aesthetic affect or determine your attraction? How so?

I guess I don’t truly understand the question.

Like what I find hot in tumblr vs what I actually do?

Either way I guess no....? Let’s go with that!

 

[Ginlover]

#79 (submitted)

Does aesthetic affect your attraction?
There is glamour bdsm, vintage bdsm, pet play, pretty version of bdsm. At the other end of the spectrum you have messy, dirty, rough, "ugly" bdsm ... and a million things in between. Does aesthetic affect or determine your attraction? How so?

Yes.
I am attracted to smiles and eyes. I hadn’t realised how visceral that was until I met someone into gimp masks. I had to tell him there was no way I could have his face covered. The face masks Covid has brought amplifies how uncomfortable I am when I can’t see a persons mouth. If I’m uncomfortable looking at someone I’m not going to be attracted to them.

It is purely aesthetic because I have no issue with masks or gags on me but I hate seeing them on a partner, unless I’m blindfolded I have to see their eyes and mouth. Because it’s a hard limit no one has suggested totally covering my face even though it’s my visuals that’s the issue.

 

[TheOriginalSA]

#79 (submitted)

Does aesthetic affect your attraction?
There is glamour bdsm, vintage bdsm, pet play, pretty version of bdsm. At the other end of the spectrum you have messy, dirty, rough, "ugly" bdsm ... and a million things in between. Does aesthetic affect or determine your attraction? How so?

Aesthetic does affect my attraction, but is separate from the things I enjoy from BDSM. I'm a man, so of course a beautiful woman dressed sexy, will make me attracted to them, but my attraction to aspects of BDSM is more on a mental level.

I'll give an example

I have seen a woman I'm not physically attracted to, turn me on by her devotion and dedication to her partner. I envied the man she was with, because I wanted to have her in the same exact way and I craved her for it.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

#80

#80 (suggested)

Force Farce

Have you experienced a true forced orgasm? Men, did it feel different than one you would typically have? Women, our bodily mechanics work a little differently. Have you ever experienced a true forced orgasm? If not, do you believe it's possible?

 

[base10]

#80 (suggested)

Force Farce

Have you experienced a true forced orgasm? Men, did it feel different than one you would typically have? Women, our bodily mechanics work a little differently. Have you ever experienced a true forced orgasm? If not, do you believe it's possible?

I do believe it's possible. With enough stimulation, the body should be able to override any mental and physical attempts to hold it back.

I have not experienced it, but would love to see how I would react, and how it differers from a regular orgasm.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

#80

#80

(Submitted!!) I love these questions so if you have a suggestion or what to revisit one, please let me know!!


How important is reassurance in your D/s relationship? Subs, do you need your obedience to be recognized and validated often, your submission be acknowledged? Doms, how do you like to feel reassured in your relationship? Is the submission enough or do you need something more?

 

[TANSTAAFL58]

#80

(Submitted!!) I love these questions so if you have a suggestion or what to revisit one, please let me know!!


How important is reassurance in your D/s relationship? Subs, do you need your obedience to be recognized and validated often, your submission be acknowledged? Doms, how do you like to feel reassured in your relationship? Is the submission enough or do you need something more?

Thanks for reviving this. I missed it!


I have stated before that my wife and I are D/s in the "bedroom"...so it's a little different.

Her submissive actions get acknowledged by me immediately in small ways (like taking care in removing clamped toys for instance, because she likes to be clamped but not when they stick to her skin)and larger ways (for example, we aren't getting any younger...after a long session, which takes up sleep time, I let her sleep in). I suppose this is because I do not expect "sub" behavior in any other part of our lives. In fact, I rely on her being a strong woman who gives control over one specific area for our mutual pleasure.

 

[woman_early20s]

#80

(Submitted!!) I love these questions so if you have a suggestion or what to revisit one, please let me know!!


How important is reassurance in your D/s relationship? Subs, do you need your obedience to be recognized and validated often, your submission be acknowledged? Doms, how do you like to feel reassured in your relationship? Is the submission enough or do you need something more?

The sub in me needs validation. I cannot help but look for assurance quite frequently. It helps me mentally and emotionally. It's just the way it is, have not been successful in figuring out why. But some questions are better left unanswered.

I have been glad that my past partners recognised this need of mine. I have never been able to explicitly convey this but was lucky enough to build strong foundations which led a positive and healthy connection.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

#80

(Submitted!!) I love these questions so if you have a suggestion or what to revisit one, please let me know!!


How important is reassurance in your D/s relationship? Subs, do you need your obedience to be recognized and validated often, your submission be acknowledged? Doms, how do you like to feel reassured in your relationship? Is the submission enough or do you need something more?

I've been pondering on this question for a few days. I do need reassurance occasionally but usually only when something is hard or challenging. I need to know that I did it correctly, met expectations, and didn't terrify him.

Mostly what I need is his honesty. And by honesty I don't mean "the opposite of lies", I mean the complete unfiltered, raw and brutal truth. I need to know what he's thinking and that is reassuring to me.

Even when his truth is hard, it makes things better for us both.

 

[woman_early20s]

I've been pondering on this question for a few days. I do need reassurance occasionally but usually only when something is hard or challenging. I need to know that I did it correctly, met expectations, and didn't terrify him.

Mostly what I need is his honesty. And by honesty I don't mean "the opposite of lies", I mean the complete unfiltered, raw and brutal truth. I need to know what he's thinking and that is reassuring to me.

Even when his truth is hard, it makes things better for us both.

I have never heard something more stupid than this, who are the people who think Honesty = opposite.of lies. I am glad to have never encountered someone like that.

The point you made about the importance of unfiltered, raw and brutal truth matters a lot to me.

 

[Acktion]

#80

(Submitted!!) I love these questions so if you have a suggestion or what to revisit one, please let me know!!


How important is reassurance in your D/s relationship? Subs, do you need your obedience to be recognized and validated often, your submission be acknowledged? Doms, how do you like to feel reassured in your relationship? Is the submission enough or do you need something more?

Eh, there was a time when, as a Domly Dom, I didn't need a damn thing other than her to keep coming back, stripping nekkid, and kneeling at my feet.

***shrug*** I don't know if I've gotten old or just spoilt, but if she can't appreciate what I do to, with, and for her, then I don't really know just what the fuck we would be doing anyway. Which has made me laugh a time or two when someone I'd been entangled with starting posting memes about what a Dom should do after they'd tossed me aside that they hadn't once acknowledged when I was doing it for them.

 

[Acktion]

#80 (suggested)

Force Farce

Have you experienced a true forced orgasm? Men, did it feel different than one you would typically have? Women, our bodily mechanics work a little differently. Have you ever experienced a true forced orgasm? If not, do you believe it's possible?

I'm an odd duck. It can take a long, long while for me to orgasm. ***shrug*** Most people don't believe the time frames I've discussed when I've mentioned them. And that's fine. I really don't have anything to prove to anybody as far as that goes as long as my lover is satisfied (those that haven't safeworded out and run away).

But, I do have a couple of... hidden triggers that very, very few have managed to discover that will trip that switch and reft away my carefully cultivated control, reducing an hours long session to just a few minutes.

On the flip side of the coin, I have "forced" quite a few lovers through orgasms.

And, yeah, you're right. Women are wired very, very differently. Stimulation of erogenous zones will only get so far without a good mental game to stimulate their beautiful brain.

***shrug*** I'm not saying that I can grab some random gal off the street, rip her panties off, and have her cumming on command in twenty or thirty minutes. And, Hell, even binding you down and working you over a pair of vibrating nipple clamps affixed, a vibrating butt plug fitted, a piston-driven dildo, and a vibrating wand tied into place against your clit for hours might just make you sore and pissed-off.

Mood matters. Mood matters a helluva lot. And, in the spirit of full disclosure, in my experiences, it is much, much easier to force additional ones after the first than it is to hit the first mark.

But, with enough time and study, I've had some pretty good luck "fucking the grumpy right out" of... a few that I had enough time and connection with to know right where all the buttons were.

I don't know. As I say, I'm just a weird as fuck duck. And I tend to view orgasms as a badge of submission. So, I tend to prefer an eight or better to one ratio. And if I can manage twenty-two of hers to each one of mine, then so much the better.

 

[Curious51228]

I'm an odd duck. It can take a long, long while for me to orgasm. ***shrug*** Most people don't believe the time frames I've discussed when I've mentioned them. And that's fine. I really don't have anything to prove to anybody as far as that goes as long as my lover is satisfied (those that haven't safeworded out and run away).

But, I do have a couple of... hidden triggers that very, very few have managed to discover that will trip that switch and reft away my carefully cultivated control, reducing an hours long session to just a few minutes.

On the flip side of the coin, I have "forced" quite a few lovers through orgasms.

And, yeah, you're right. Women are wired very, very differently. Stimulation of erogenous zones will only get so far without a good mental game to stimulate their beautiful brain.

***shrug*** I'm not saying that I can grab some random gal off the street, rip her panties off, and have her cumming on command in twenty or thirty minutes. And, Hell, even binding you down and working you over a pair of vibrating nipple clamps affixed, a vibrating butt plug fitted, a piston-driven dildo, and a vibrating wand tied into place against your clit for hours might just make you sore and pissed-off.

Mood matters. Mood matters a helluva lot. And, in the spirit of full disclosure, in my experiences, it is much, much easier to force additional ones after the first than it is to hit the first mark.

But, with enough time and study, I've had some pretty good luck "fucking the grumpy right out" of... a few that I had enough time and connection with to know right where all the buttons were.

I don't know. As I say, I'm just a weird as fuck duck. And I tend to view orgasms as a badge of submission. So, I tend to prefer an eight or better to one ratio. And if I can manage twenty-two of hers to each one of mine, then so much the better.

I aspire to this level of wisdom!