Questions about this daddy thing

[Cabeza]

OK, the "daddy" kink has gotten a lot of press recently. There's a BDSM angle to it, and sometimes an incest angle. I'd love to hear from people who have a daddy fetish (preferably female, cis or otherwise) about what it means to them.

I'm "daddy" material I guess. Middle aged (40s), professionally and financially successful, and I get off on taking care of / instructing younger women. But I'm not a hard core dominant and am not attracted to any female relatives.

Any women want to chime in on their daddy fantasies? Any men want to say how they feel about being one?

Thanks

 

[unspoilt_princess]

I dont think its that black and white that its either about control or incest. Many just like to feel loved, cared for and pampered. The maturity and ability to pamper of an older man is an obvious plus. Experience also means he might be a better and more attentive lover - and i agree that isn't a rule but the odds are better. You can have real conversations and have a much more fulfilling relationship. That said, the attraction towards an older man might actually be triggered by a relationship or crush with an older relative and a desire to have something similar.

 

[Cabeza]

I dont think its that black and white that its either about control or incest. Many just like to feel loved, cared for and pampered. The maturity and ability to pamper of an older man is an obvious plus. Experience also means he might be a better and more attentive lover - and i agree that isn't a rule but the odds are better. You can have real conversations and have a much more fulfilling relationship. That said, the attraction towards an older man might actually be triggered by a relationship or crush with an older relative and a desire to have something similar.

Thank you. That's exactly what I was curious about. Googling it leads one to believe it's all about, as you say, control or incest. The first turns me on a bit, the latter not at all. I was starting to wonder if I was naming my desires incorrectly.

 

[Smoothshavendad]

I dont think its that black and white that its either about control or incest. Many just like to feel loved, cared for and pampered. The maturity and ability to pamper of an older man is an obvious plus. Experience also means he might be a better and more attentive lover - and i agree that isn't a rule but the odds are better. You can have real conversations and have a much more fulfilling relationship. That said, the attraction towards an older man might actually be triggered by a relationship or crush with an older relative and a desire to have something similar.

A very insightful young woman. Well put.

 

[unspoilt_princess]

A very insightful young woman. Well put.

Thank u

 

[sub2femdom]

I understand that there are some younger females who want the 'daddy' figure sexually, but I think that's more an exception than the rule, at least in the world of 'daddy' play.

To me, a daddy is someone who owns me. Much in the sense that a real father owns their child - can make all their decisions for them, at least in theory, it's similar to that, but without the familial aspect.

For instance, my daddy in the past was called that because in the bedroom, I belonged to him (as his submissive), I trusted him to care and not hurt me, physically or otherwise, while teaching me, pushing me, etc.. in my sexuality and sexual skills. As a submissive, it's my natural desire to give pleasure over receiving it, so pleasing daddy was as much a desire as a kink.

Hope that makes sense.

 

[SheDrivesMeCrazy]

I understand that there are some younger females who want the 'daddy' figure sexually, but I think that's more an exception than the rule, at least in the world of 'daddy' play.

To me, a daddy is someone who owns me. Much in the sense that a real father owns their child - can make all their decisions for them, at least in theory, it's similar to that, but without the familial aspect.

For instance, my daddy in the past was called that because in the bedroom, I belonged to him (as his submissive), I trusted him to care and not hurt me, physically or otherwise, while teaching me, pushing me, etc.. in my sexuality and sexual skills. As a submissive, it's my natural desire to give pleasure over receiving it, so pleasing daddy was as much a desire as a kink.

Hope that makes sense.

I'm male; from my late teens through to my early thirties I had a private feminine side to me. I had a couple of experiences with men much older than me, but that's all it was, just a couple of experiences, I wanted more but this was before the internet was really a thing and opportunities just never presented themselves which left me frustrated and yearning for a long time.

Now, I know this will be controversial but being a frustrated and horny young femboy still living at home with my parents, my thoughts gradually turned towards my own dad. They would try to be quiet but I'd hear him and my mother making love late at night and I found myself being quite envious of her.

 

[HoldYouDown]

Every female I've been with wants to be treated both like a woman and like a little girl. That's been my experience. The 'daddy' role play plays into that, whether they want to use the word or not.

 

[Shortygal3016]

Hello! I am a young, relatively sexually inexperienced female. I have some “daddy” desires and for me it is about someone teaching me about sexuality and how to give and revive pleasure in a loving, caring and safe place. Someone guiding me through becoming more experienced. Also, if the man in older he is most likely more experienced and satisfy me more then someone who is more around my age.

 

[stickygirl]

Younger or same age guys are still trying to sort out their lives emotionally and financially - they're volatile and maybe a little insecure: always having to prove themselves in front of their buddies and trying to keep their girl sweet at the same time. I've had gfs tell me how 'John is really sweet when we're on our own but a complete jerk when we're out in a group'.

Older guys have enough miles on the clock that they don't have that need to prove themselves: they've found their place in life. They don't need to be rich, but are headed toward being content. That makes them a better rock for a girl to lean on; it makes them wiser about life; they have learned from the experiences they went through at our age. So you can learn a lot from their experience, so long as they're open minded.

Then sex... they are so grateful and flattered. Surely no one likes getting old so seeing the wrinkles on your same-age wife or partner kinda reminds them how old they are too. Yes, they are generally more patient and considerate in bed but they appreciate you being there and don't take you for granted. Younger guys ( and girls ) treat their partners as easily-replaced disposable items. Being appreciated and valued - what else do we need?

 

[FeverishDreams67]

Lovely.

 

[Cabeza]

Younger or same age guys are still trying to sort out their lives emotionally and financially - they're volatile and maybe a little insecure: always having to prove themselves in front of their buddies and trying to keep their girl sweet at the same time. I've had gfs tell me how 'John is really sweet when we're on our own but a complete jerk when we're out in a group'.

Older guys have enough miles on the clock that they don't have that need to prove themselves: they've found their place in life. They don't need to be rich, but are headed toward being content. That makes them a better rock for a girl to lean on; it makes them wiser about life; they have learned from the experiences they went through at our age. So you can learn a lot from their experience, so long as they're open minded.

Then sex... they are so grateful and flattered. Surely no one likes getting old so seeing the wrinkles on your same-age wife or partner kinda reminds them how old they are too. Yes, they are generally more patient and considerate in bed but they appreciate you being there and don't take you for granted. Younger guys ( and girls ) treat their partners as easily-replaced disposable items. Being appreciated and valued - what else do we need?

Well said, thank you for sharing

 

[Bigboobbabe]

I understand that there are some younger females who want the 'daddy' figure sexually, but I think that's more an exception than the rule, at least in the world of 'daddy' play.

To me, a daddy is someone who owns me. Much in the sense that a real father owns their child - can make all their decisions for them, at least in theory, it's similar to that, but without the familial aspect.

For instance, my daddy in the past was called that because in the bedroom, I belonged to him (as his submissive), I trusted him to care and not hurt me, physically or otherwise, while teaching me, pushing me, etc.. in my sexuality and sexual skills. As a submissive, it's my natural desire to give pleasure over receiving it, so pleasing daddy was as much a desire as a kink.

Hope that makes sense.

That is exactly how i feel as a sub. I am only a sub sexually. Not 100%..

 

[JonBHappy]

Younger or same age guys are still trying to sort out their lives emotionally and financially - they're volatile and maybe a little insecure: always having to prove themselves in front of their buddies and trying to keep their girl sweet at the same time. I've had gfs tell me how 'John is really sweet when we're on our own but a complete jerk when we're out in a group'.

Older guys have enough miles on the clock that they don't have that need to prove themselves: they've found their place in life. They don't need to be rich, but are headed toward being content. That makes them a better rock for a girl to lean on; it makes them wiser about life; they have learned from the experiences they went through at our age. So you can learn a lot from their experience, so long as they're open minded.

Then sex... they are so grateful and flattered. Surely no one likes getting old so seeing the wrinkles on your same-age wife or partner kinda reminds them how old they are too. Yes, they are generally more patient and considerate in bed but they appreciate you being there and don't take you for granted. Younger guys ( and girls ) treat their partners as easily-replaced disposable items. Being appreciated and valued - what else do we need?

What else do we need ... being appreciated and valued ... a perfect sentiment to start my day with a smile, thank you.

 

[Acktion]

About three years ago, I got into a discussion with a self-proclaimed "submissive people pleaser" about DD/lg.

Now, the thing is, I'd misspent some time, money, and energy in my college years thinking I wanted to be a Sex Therapist. (Until I figured out that me being a MFT/ST would be a lot like handing a three year old a flare gun. You aren't sure what will happen, but you do know it will make the papers.) So, I knew a tad more than the average schlub about the myriad forms of physical affection that were possible.

And... Well, I was definitely a D-type. Arguably, I might be considered a "service Top" by some since I tend to not be particularly fetished or kinked beyond oral and her pleasure (and what she needs to get there... with very few limits of my own). But, I found over time that my natural level was Master. And I tended to... eh... not push so much as lean a little further that way when acting with a submissive of whatever stripe. So, I knew a tad bit more about most of the iterations of BDSM and kinks and fetishes than the typical snot-nosed punk with a handful of lotion and a good internet connection.

However, I had a significant gap in my knowledge when it came to DD/lg. Primarily, I think, because of the "incestuous age-play" connotations inherent in the title, I'd just never had any interest in looking any deeper.

Well, this gal cracked up and pointed out that I am a Daddy Dom to the core!

So, I went looking, primarily to prove the uppity little smart-ass wrong. And fuck me if she wasn't right! I was a DD, and had never realized it.

Hell, Love (my late wife) had even CALLED me Daddy, which I'd always thought was meant ironically since she was 13 years older.

She slept with a teddy bear that I'd given her when I wasn't available (I was working overnights).

She always wanted to play. Games, people. Games. Card games. Board games. Computer games. (Although we did enough in bed to make even the most hardened satyr or nymph blink and think "Dude! There is such a thing as enough!")

I could continue, but the point was that this gal was right. I was one. Had been the entire time and had never realized it.

And, more, I'd been acting as a DD to this gal as well. Sitting on the phone and reading her to sleep, for example.

Some shit went on that isn't really worth going into. On several levels. But, the end result was that months later, she informed me that I wasn't her Daddy, wasn't her Dom, in fact wasn't any sort of Dom. Which was bullshit, in my opinion, as I damn sure had been acting as a Daddy Dom for nine fucking months! And she had been acting as my little!

But, eh. Whatever.

Any road, I got involved with a few other littles of various stripes. None of which panned out. Until this last one. ***shrug***

The thing is, I am a Daddy Dom. I know I am. I know that I was to Love for two and a half decades until her death. And I am to my sweet little spice. Maybe I just don't understand LDR and how to translate it there. Or maybe they were just the wrong little (or middle) for me.

The big thing that I would caution you about is that, yes you can read up on the subject and other people can offer you advice, but at the end of the day it is best to be true to yourself. If you are a Daddy, and I am a Daddy, that doesn't mean that we are exactly alike, any more than every little or middle is exactly alike. What works for one may very well not work for the other.

Act from your heart, from loving her, protecting her, guiding her, and always with her best interests in your head and heart. The rest will work itself out from there or not. But, at least she will have had the best of you.