Irrelevant details vs the white room

[tomlitilia]

I use minimal description of what surroundings look like in my stories. Partly, it's by choice. Even if I have a vision in my head, if it isn't crucial for the story, I might as well let the reader make up their own surrounding. Still, when I look at some stories I've written, I wonder if I've been too restrictive, perhaps making the readers picture the characters in a void--a white room. I mean, I don't picture the scenes that way when I read them, but I'm unlikely a good judge of how others perceive what I describe.

Do you have tricks to include descriptions of surroundings as part of your narrative without making them feel like irrelevant info-dumps?

 

[AlinaX]

I worry about that too. I get descriptive of surroundings when it's useful for the atmosphere, but otherwise it's very unclear. My characters too, too often.

 

[Thefireflies]

I like adding imagery – like the sun filtering through the smoke of the fire, people’s shadows cast against the back fence. The soft rustle of leaves in the trees above, where a possum pads its way along the branch, then later the chaotic chattering of roosting lorikeets drowning the hum of conversation and laughter from guests. Glass shatters, almost louder than the birds, and there’s a cheer and someone else bellows, “Taxi!” followed by a round of laughter, and the dog barks too. A log thrown on the fire crackles, spitting sparks into the twilight, while the smell of steaks and onion wafts from the grill, and the smooth-burn of single-malt slides down my throat. Opposite me my friend strums her guitar, and when I catch her eye she offers me a smile and flames twinkle in her eyes, her voice like heaven, and in that moment my heart skips a beat…

Oh, where was I? Yes, descriptions of surroundings, imagery - personally I like it because it makes the moment real for me. I use it mainly for setting a scene as it looks in my mind’s eye, adding minor details here and there, but it's not a rolling description of everything going on in the background as important events unfold.

 

[ElectricBlue]

I add light descriptive touches, something simple like a porcelain cup or a shadow of a branch on a wall, to provide grace notes to the narrative. I love the Japanese idea of wabi sabi, where some imperfect thing is beautiful. Readers comment on it, appreciating how the tiny detail makes the story come alive.

 

[NotWise]

Setting is usually included in writing guidance as one of the fundamental components of a story. How and how much you describe the setting is entirely up to you.

I'll describe the setting to give readers a sense of place. I'll describe the setting if its somehow part of a character. For instance, Claudia's room is pink because she's into pink. I'll describe the setting if it becomes important later for some reason, like in an action scene where I don't want to stop the action to describe it.

There are other reasons to describe the setting, but I tend to do it less than I did five years ago. I sometimes wonder if I've over-reacted. My readers seemed to enjoy some of the detailed descriptions.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

I too am a minimalist. I tell them where or what kind of room they are in... like a bedroom or living room. Everyone has their own at some point in their life so I figure they can use theirs or someone else's that they like to imagine where the characters are.

No some place need to be described. Especially in Sci-Fi or fantasy. I had to set the scene in Warrior with a description of the control room and other places on the ship, yet still let a little to the imagination of the reader.

And yet I have read some authors who were really wordy, but I understand why they were as when they were writing and getting published they were paid by the word. So it behooved them to be wordy.

 

[KeithD]

Depends on the needs of the story. If the time and place are important to the content more of that has to be established than if they aren't.

 

[yibala2]

Do you have tricks to include descriptions of surroundings as part of your narrative without making them feel like irrelevant info-dumps?

I think the best tip is something NotWise said: Use your description as a way to build character. Describe settings through the eyes and mind of your POV character as a way to giving insight into how they think, what their experience is, and why they do what they do. In that way you can avoid irrelevant detail.

Sometimes descriptiveness is a matter of style, and sometimes it is more of a necessity. My Lit stories take place in African-ish fantasy settings that are unfamiliar to most readers. There are few useful tropes to lean on - no elves or dwarves or fairy-tale castles; clothing styles are different, and if I call a tree a sausage tree, readers won't readily be able to picture it. So sparse description would detract from my writing. But at the same time, going overboard or being inconsistent would also be a problematic distraction.

So it seems to me a good rule of thumb to stay in character, especially if you're writing a tight 1st or 3rd person.

-Yib

 

[SimonDoom]

I think the only real rule is that every word should serve a purpose, and that includes descriptions. Authors' purposes may vary.

In response to Tomlitilia's original post, I'll note that I've read several of his stories and have not once felt they suffered for lack of description. His level of description seems, to my eye, to work just fine for his own story purposes.

There are a lot of perfectly legitimate reasons why you might want to add descriptions of settings. Setting can reveal character, especially if it's a setting that is owned and cared for by a character. Suppose you have an OCD character. Describing the precision and tidiness of the room may help convey this trait.

In some cases description adds useful tone. In a haunted house story, description can be used to make the reader feel dread or fear. That's perfectly legit.

Or description my be useful to help understand action, as where the hero is storming a castle and trying to find the princess. Specific description of the castle may help convey what a big, daunting job the hero has.

Some authors have more of an eye for surrounding detail than others. If you feel you don't, don't sweat it and don't feel you have to go out of your way to add it. Write to the level of detail you are comfortable with.

 

[HeyAll]

I'm also a minimalist, but that's largely because I don't have the skills to be a descriptive writer.

I've gotten a lot of compliments that my stories are highly descriptive and so forth.

But I think it's about knowing which details to use at the necessary moments and letting the readers mind fill in the blanks themselves.

 

[SamScribble]

I try to let characters 'see' any relevant location details. For example:

I could see why it was called The Crevice. The hot pink door from the website was squeezed in between the premises of Mundy & Sons, Master Chair Makers, and J-M Chapoutier, Bookbinder. The gap between the chair makers and the bookbinder was barely wide enough for the brightly-coloured door, let alone for another building. I pressed the doorbell. A light came on. There was a click. And the door opened. (https://www.literotica.com/s/behind-the-pink-door)​

If the characters don't see the details, they're probably not relevant.

 

[Blind_Justice]

There are no irrelevant details. Every piece of info included helps to paint the mental picture. Deliberate use of detail can make the difference between bland and memorable characters, especially if the author manages to circle back to said details or even turn them into plot points. Clothing, mannerisms, behaviour - give as much detail as possible to bring your characters to life! Locations, by the way, can be characters too. There's a distinct difference between sex in a sunlit bedroom, with gold light pooling on your lover's skin versus sex during a thunderstorm where everybody jumps out of their skin once the thunder hits. Just saying "we went into the bedroom and fucked like bunnies" is a wasted opportunity to set the mood.

The skill is NOT MAKING IT LOOK LIKE A FUCKING INFO DUMP!

 

[QuillPig]

I try to write stories I might like to read, and those include a fair amount of detail.

Minimalism can work in more plot-based genres like crime fiction, but I don't think it's the right approach for erotica. I like erotic prose best when it tends toward the purple.

Erotica should engage the senses, I feel, and that includes providing a strong sense of physical space. I don't mean a hyper-detailed listing of every sound, smell, shape, and color, but a good general overview with a few memorable attributes highlighted.

That said, I'm not sure how widely my preferences are shared. A lot of very popular authors on this site write in a style that, to me, is too stark and colorless, but it doesn't seem to hurt their scores. Some of them have scads of followers.

 

[Abbafan]

I use minimal description of what surroundings look like in my stories. Partly, it's by choice. Even if I have a vision in my head, if it isn't crucial for the story, I might as well let the reader make up their own surrounding. Still, when I look at some stories I've written, I wonder if I've been too restrictive, perhaps making the readers picture the characters in a void--a white room. I mean, I don't picture the scenes that way when I read them, but I'm unlikely a good judge of how others perceive what I describe.

Do you have tricks to include descriptions of surroundings as part of your narrative without making them feel like irrelevant info-dumps?

I think that's the right approach for the most part. Mentioning a few details that can reveal something about the character isn't a bad idea. The vintage poster of Farah Fawcett on the wall. Maybe they have some DVDs in their collection that are a little unusual. That kind of thing.

 

[SisterJezabel]

I follow advice I read around these parts- make sure every word adds to the story and it’s development. Sometimes you need to know it was a dark and dreary night and Sasha was disturbed. Other times you need to know it was a dark and dreary night with the rain falling sideways and the wind howling as if it were one of the wild creatures that inhabited Sasha’s head.

 

[AlexBailey]

Irrelevant details? Like linen napkins, candles, polished silverware? It’s just a matter of taste, no? Some people want to dine in fashion while others want fast food.

I started describing the opening scene my story with eyes closed. Sound, smell, taste...

——

Some part of my rum-soaked brain is trying to wake up, trying to adjust to the ambient din of the ocean waves and crying seagulls. Being cautious not to open my eyes too quickly, not knowing what I might find, I try to swallow and feel sand in my teeth. The acrid smell of burnt driftwood is all around and in my tangled hair.

 

[yowser]

I'll go against the grain here as a reader, although I agree 100% that amount of description should match the requirements of the story.

A large number of Lit stories here leave me scratching my head.

Who are we? I have often only the vaguest sense of the nature of the folks involved.

Where are we? This bothers me more than anything else. A beach. But where? An office. What does it look like? A bedroom? Come, give me a hint of what the scene looks like, the lighting, the texture of the sheets, a flavor of the surroundings, something to go on.

The characters' reactions to these surroundings, time-space, and how it all affects them, influences their decisions and actions: I miss this often in otherwise interesting stories.

Just a hint is often good enough, but I would far rather have too much than nothing at all.

And a striking description, visual or otherwise, stays with you as a reader, makes the involvement real.

 

[yukonnights]

Without actually going to check, I suspect that most all of my stories use a lot of setting details. I recall the couple in One Night In Baton Rouge walking back from the Jimi Hendrix concert to her place. The old, once proud, mansions now cut up into small apartments. The growing darkness and lack of maintenance only making the neighborhood less proud. Her bedroom had a double mattress on the wooden floor, and little else. Her flatmates were all still out partying somewhere. When the couple took a bath together, it was in an old claw footed tub — the ancient hot water heater forcing more of a quick rinse than might be desired. (I bet there's one or more who can relate to just such a setting back in the day )

The setting for Surrender To Love is a remote cabin on a lake in Alaska. It requires a canoe trip on a crystal clear stream through a forest to get to the cabin. I can't remember all the comments I've had on that one saying how they envy me and the life I have. (it's 100% fiction) But I write what I know most of the time, and I've been to most of the places I write about.

No doubt, some readers probably check out with a yawn. That's fine.

A good portion of my stories take place in wild and scenic places. The characters being there is part of their story. Beautiful nature is a nice setting for romance, to not describe it would render the intimate parts bland IMO. So, I have this "movie" playing in my head as I write. I may overdo it? But people seem to like it. Also, I do write for my own pleasure while hoping for a nice reception — and this brings me pleasure. I know there is an audience who likes it too.

 

[Paul_Chance]

This little thread is an enjoyable read. Two things jumped out at me and are principles that guide my writing short fiction - every word should serve a purpose* and "grace notes".

I like the concept of detailed description as grace notes.

*It's perfectly fine if the purpose is to get your word count up.

 

[Hypoxia]

I agree with several above. Give what details are needed for the story or desired for flavor. Take side trips if they build character and mood. Have fun with it.

 

[Rustyoznail]

This sort of ties in with the crafting thread. Everyone has their own opinion of what's necessary to suitably decorate their story. Some go with a minimalist look, other's go with highly detailed, and a few with over the top ostentatious information.

Personally, I like stories that feed you enough details to allow you to imagine the scene and I try to emulate that in mine.

 

[Javahead]

This sort of ties in with the crafting thread. Everyone has their own opinion of what's necessary to suitably decorate their story. Some go with a minimalist look, other's go with highly detailed, and a few with over the top ostentatious information.

Personally, I like stories that feed you enough details to allow you to imagine the scene and I try to emulate that in mine.

Usually, I try to create more detail than I actually show - it makes it easier for me to tell the story if I have the details clear in my own mind.

One of the constant struggles is to NOT show more than necessary - just because I’ve worked out a character’s backstory doesn’t mean I need to use all of it.

 

[yowser]

I like the concept of detailed description as grace notes.

Well expressed.

Harmonics, memorable chords, that last flourish of a good piece of music, all resonating around in your mind after a good read.

 

[SamScribble]

The title on this thread keeps reactivating an ear worm:

'In a white room with black curtains at the station ...'

 

[KeithD]

The title of the thread also contains the answer to the thread question in the first word: "irrelevant." No, there's no reason to having anything irrelevant in our story. Even false clues are relevant in a mystery story.