Being Ghosted

[Ocean33]

I know it's the new normal but being ghosted by someone sucks. I dont know if I did or say something to upset that person and if I did I like to know so I can apologize and learn from my mistakes. Does anyone feel this way or is just me

 

[Fermina_Daza]

Maybe they died.

But as someone who has been accused of ghosting - and without knowing the circumstances (ie IRL, online only, etc.) - sometimes life just happens and it’s not intentional.

 

[jaF0]

First rule of life is to understand that people suck.

 

[Ocean33]

Maybe they died.

But as someone who has been accused of ghosting - and without knowing the circumstances (ie IRL, online only, etc.) - sometimes life just happens and it’s not intentional.

I didnt think about that. Thank you for the observation it reminds me to see the glass half full

 

[Ocean33]

First rule of life is to understand that people suck.

noted

 

[Comshaw]

Maybe they died.

But as someone who has been accused of ghosting - and without knowing the circumstances (ie IRL, online only, etc.) - sometimes life just happens and it’s not intentional.

No sorry, that's bullshit. A one-sentence explanation of any type would suffice, but anyone who would just split without a word is being a total asshole.

My

worth.


Comshaw

 

[InternationalFunboy]

Does ghosting imply some romantic investment to really be ghosting? Internetting with people is like What Daz just said. There are circumstances of a life, and as an online, or screen friend, or whatever one would call a relationship that is lacking physical presence, you're experiencing a window to that person. Sometimes it's open, sometimes it's closed.

If the answer is yes though, ghosting is cheap, heartless, rejection. One wonders how karma will repay that person.

 

[Fermina_Daza]

I didnt think about that. Thank you for the observation it reminds me to see the glass half full

Lmao - I likely read this wrong, but the death of some could easily be seeing the glass half full.

No sorry, that's bullshit. A one-sentence explanation of any type would suffice, but anyone who would just split without a word is being a total asshole.

My

worth.


Comshaw

As I said, without knowing the circumstances....

I don’t even like responding to PMs on here now because some people get attached WAY too easily. It should be common sense that if a person hasn’t given you their name or a secondary way to contact them, they are under no obligation to log on here and tell you they are busy. But yet that sense of entitlement is very present. It’s easier to make it a THEM problem than a YOU problem.

ETA: IFB articulated much better the elements that should be required. He’s a smart one. Needs to quit smoking.

 

[Dribble]

It happens. It is their issue, not yours.

 

[Ocean33]

Lmao - I likely read this wrong, but the death of some could easily be seeing the glass half full.

Lol yeah you read that wrong. I try to see the positive of things and your response to my post was a reminder not to be almost doom and gloom and dont think it's something I did wrong life might have gotten in the way. I dont wish anything bad on her at all.

 

[Ocean33]

Lmao - I likely read this wrong, but the death of some could easily be seeing the glass half full.



As I said, without knowing the circumstances....

I don’t even like responding to PMs on here now because some people get attached WAY too easily. It should be common sense that if a person hasn’t given you their name or a secondary way to contact them, they are under no obligation to log on here and tell you they are busy. But yet that sense of entitlement is very present. It’s easier to make it a THEM problem than a YOU problem.

ETA: IFB articulated much better the elements that should be required. He’s a smart one. Needs to quit smoking.

Does ghosting imply some romantic investment to really be ghosting? Internetting with people is like What Daz just said. There are circumstances of a life, and as an online, or screen friend, or whatever one would call a relationship that is lacking physical presence, you're experiencing a window to that person. Sometimes it's open, sometimes it's closed.

If the answer is yes though, ghosting is cheap, heartless, rejection. One wonders how karma will repay that person.

There was some romantic conversations and we were talking about getting together since we live close. Plus we were in mid conversation then nothing so I was scrratching my head think what happened

 

[Dribble]

There was some romantic conversations and we were talking about getting together since we live close. Plus we were in mid conversation then nothing so I was scrratching my head think what happened

Most likely, they weren't completely honest and were faced with wtf do I do now? He will find out...or I can ghost him.

 

[Comshaw]

Lmao - I likely read this wrong, but the death of some could easily be seeing the glass half full.



As I said, without knowing the circumstances....

I don’t even like responding to PMs on here now because some people get attached WAY too easily. It should be common sense that if a person hasn’t given you their name or a secondary way to contact them, they are under no obligation to log on here and tell you they are busy. But yet that sense of entitlement is very present. It’s easier to make it a THEM problem than a YOU problem.

ETA: IFB articulated much better the elements that should be required. He’s a smart one. Needs to quit smoking.

You're talking of casual contact and in that context, I agree. A few emails exchanged shouldn't require an explanation of any type to end them. My idea of ghosting is someone you've talked to for an extended period of time. You know their name, they know yours. You both know a lot about each other and at least one side considers it a budding friendship, then nothing, no goodbye. "Can't (don't want to) talk anymore", "I hate you", nothing. Silence. You have no idea what happened to them or why they slipped away without so much as a "so long".



Comshaw


That my dear is not only ill-mannered but assholish in the extreme.

 

[dolf]

No sorry, that's bullshit. A one-sentence explanation of any type would suffice, but anyone who would just split without a word is being a total asshole.

My

worth.


Comshaw

The male perspective!

However... how many times would it take, of you being subjected to a torrent of abuse and threats from manbabies who can't take rejection, before you found it easier to just vanish?

I probably don't have to name names to give you an example of how some men take rejection...

 

[jaF0]

The answer my friends is blowing in the wind of post #3.


But that's crap, since I have no friends. Why? See post #3.

 

[Conager]

The male perspective!

However... how many times would it take, of you being subjected to a torrent of abuse and threats from manbabies who can't take rejection, before you found it easier to just vanish?

I probably don't have to name names to give you an example of how some men take rejection...

The OP doesn't seem to be what is clinically known as the "Look-at-my-dick!" type of felka.

 

[renard_ruse]

My girlfriends always seem to die on me. Its a strange phenomena.

 

[dolf]

The OP doesn't seem to be what is clinically known as the "Look-at-my-dick!" type of felka.

The Great Myth! That there's a magical way to spot a guy who will react badly. The guy hurling abuse could be your friend, your brother, your son.

... I'm not saying that the OP is either a decent guy or a cunt, because I have no way of knowing. I'm saying that women generally don't know how a rejected man will react until he's been rejected, and it doesn't take many unpleasant experiences for you to give up on trying to be reasonable.

...And reread the OP. "so that I can learn from my mistakes." Why do people (women included) think it's had to be explained, with concrete reasons, like red ink on a homework assignment? With very few exceptions, the reasons for things fizzling out in the early stages boil down to "I just wasn't feeling it!" and that's good enough. It's not something that requires apologies or repairs.

 

[FataMorgana]

The male perspective!

However... how many times would it take, of you being subjected to a torrent of abuse and threats from manbabies who can't take rejection, before you found it easier to just vanish?

I probably don't have to name names to give you an example of how some men take rejection...

I wouldn't call that ghosting, it's more a last resort. And justified.

Otherwise yes, it's a total lack of spine, respect and manners.

 

[Bad_Egg]

People don't have to put you at ease, make you happy, placate you, etc. Move on.

I know it's the new normal but being ghosted by someone sucks. I dont know if I did or say something to upset that person and if I did I like to know so I can apologize and learn from my mistakes. Does anyone feel this way or is just me

https://media.giphy.com/media/65ISEeGpqQp7XPCnQI/giphy.gif

 

[rockcasbah]

The male perspective!

However... how many times would it take, of you being subjected to a torrent of abuse and threats from manbabies who can't take rejection, before you found it easier to just vanish?

I probably don't have to name names to give you an example of how some men take rejection...

You seem to like blaming things on men... is anything ever your fault?

 

[rororochellle]

I say ghosting is a way to say i dont like you that much so im just gonna quietly go and explaining the things i dont like about you will only hurt you more.
Which sucks and hurts btw if you really like this person.
There’s nothing you can really do but just move on.

 

[Bad_Egg]

Ghosting is for cowards, but people are allowed to be cowards.

I say ghosting is a way to say i dont like you that much so im just gonna quietly go and explaining the things i dont like about you will only hurt you more.
Which sucks and hurts btw if you really like this person.
There’s nothing you can really do but just move on.

https://media.giphy.com/media/WJ4vstB0EVqla/giphy.gif

 

[BrokenBarbie]

Ghosting simply avoids the awkward “it’s not you, it’s me” conversation, or the even more awkward “no, it’s definitely you” conversation.

Count yourself lucky.

 

[Bad_Egg]

The world is full of weaker people now.

.....