New to sub space

[Norse_Goddess_Freya]

I’m looking for some inspiration for a role play in as a submissive. I’ve always been some what submissive by nature but haven’t fully explored it. Any ideas or good starting points?

 

[Acktion]

I’m looking for some inspiration for a role play in as a submissive. I’ve always been some what submissive by nature but haven’t fully explored it. Any ideas or good starting points?

Well, for however little it may be worth, Freya, this once and future Dom's opinion is that you are going about it the wrong way. My Dominance is mine, and an unavoidable fact, but mine until such a time as I choose to gift it to someone who also chooses to accept it.

***shrug*** It's just my opinion. But, a leader without any followers is just a guy out for walk by himself.

Does that mean a Dominant is not a Dominant unless they have a current submissive? Hardly. Any more than a submissive doesn't exist until they have a Dom(me).

However, I could walk past you on a crowded street, and it's a rare submissive that will automatically sense that I am a Dom as I pass. Oh, I've been told that even limping around stooped with the aid of a cane that I still somehow manage to command attention almost as well as in the days of yore when I worked the detention units. Enough that I pass unmolested through "the roughest area of town" where I live. But, as a Dom? No.

In fact, several submissives that I have corresponded with since the death of my wife (and slave/submissive/little) of two and a half decades have accused me of being no sort of Dom at all when I failed to meet their exact mental construct of what a Dom should be.

So, who's fault was it? Was it that I am, as they declared, no "true Dom?" Was it that their submission did not run as deep as those from my past, including my delicate flower, Love?

I think... neither. Just because I am a Dominant personality (outside the bedroom as well as in) and she is a submissive personality of whatever stripe does not mean that we are compatible.

Am I confusing you? I don't mean to.

At the end of the day, D/s is a relationship. And just like every relationship, compatibility is going to be an issue.

So, I would turn the question you pose on its head.

You say you have always been submissive to some extent, but haven't fully explored it. What gives you that idea? Was there someone, or several someones, from your past who inspired that in you?

What was different about them? What influence did they wield that inspired you to follow their lead?

The reason that Dom(me)s are typically portrayed as taller is that it is somewhat natural to associate higher with superior.

Love could look down on the top of my head when she couldn't avoid being seen standing at the same time as me. (And, yes, it bothered her.) And yet the woman that delighted in the nickname "cast iron bitch" out in the world, who towered over me, also found comfort in surrendering to my direction.

Hell, when you think about it, Napolean was a short fucker too. And, yet, so many followed him willingly.

Has there been no one in your life that didn't tower over everyone who yet still inspired you to follow?

Another commonality when writing the stereotypical Dom(me) is that they must be affluent. Which, again, makes a certain amount of sense since their Dominant nature makes them a natural leader.

Personally, I went a different route in my professional life, eschewing the pursuit of money over public service. And the highest I would allow myself to rise was lower management, since any higher would take me away from where the rubber met the road. Which was where I wanted to be, needed to be. Not because I needed the direction of those promoted around me (and often above their level of competence), but because I needed to keep my hands on the wheel rather than calling arbitrary direction from the golf course schmoozing judges and politicians.

Oh, I had plans to eventually make my way to legislator myself. Eventually. When I decided I could do more good calling direction from the sidelines than in the game. But, became disillusioned with the current system and so never showed up to take my seat awarded on the basis of my LSAT. And went a different way, sparking a second career. And one that I, likewise, remained in the trenches where I could do some good until the demise of my health brought me up short.

So, no. Affluence was not to be my lot, although it could easily have been, had I not felt called to service and stuck with my first collegiate ambitions.

And yet, still, Love (amongst others) deigned to follow me. Why?

More importantly, have any of the ones who have called it out of you, who have resonated with you, NOT been affluent?

Charm, intelligence, and wit are other proto-typical mainstays.

Well, while I'm guilty of the accusations of intelligence, an accusation of charm has never been layed. And as for those accusing me of wit... well, they're half right.

And surely, surely it has been the case for you, just as it was for Love and others, that you felt some resonance that called you to follow the lead of someone who perhaps wasn't quite so intelligent or charming or witty as others that you were not called to follow?

What was it? What was that almost palpable force as they extended their personality as easily as another might reach out their arm and swept you along in their wake?

***shrug*** Or maybe I'm wrong and it's only the tall, handsome, athletic, rich, charming, intelligent ones that have sparked your deep-lying need.

WHAT it is that does it for you doesn't matter. What does matter is that if you want to explore this rushing bonfire of need in words via role-play, then first you need to figure out the spark that ignites the conflagration for you.

Or maybe it doesn't. Maybe you just need the right partner in your role-play you mentioned to ring that resonance within you like a bell, and it will all flow as naturally as it has for me and my sweet little spice in the offline world.

*****

So, with all that crap in mind, how do you begin?

A thousand different ways.

Maybe...

"I was sitting on my favorite park bench, eating my lunch and reading a book when a shadow fell over my page, and I peered up into a silhouette backlit by the sun.

"'Hello,' a melodious voice seemed to reach out and twitch my panties. 'Is this seat taken?'

"'Um... I... ah... No,'" I squirmed somewhat guiltily. I had just come to a delightfully debauched sex scene and it was no part of my plan to have anyone nearby as I devoured it in needful hunger."

Or whatever floats your and your role-playing partner's boats so long as it can lead to your submissive character questioning just what it was about this one that made her knickers twist.

And it's probably past time I shut my old cantankerous mouth (or at least braid my fingers) since I misdoubt that I satisfactorily even scratched the surface of your question. But, then, I didn't really feel it was my place to since I am neither your Dom nor your RP partner.

But, either way, I wish you clear skies and smooth sailing as you embark on your discovery of this new world.

 

[Master_Doctor]

I’m looking for some inspiration for a role play in as a submissive. I’ve always been some what submissive by nature but haven’t fully explored it. Any ideas or good starting points?

Some things in your post didnt fit well for me. Like the gentleman before me, Im a very experienced Dom/ Master. What I post here is based on my experience and knowledge. Do I know everything or have complete understanding of all things submissive or even Dominant... lol hardly.

So, in my experience. There are many ways to get into sub space. As in where a sub goes when she literally looses herself and any control. Where she does and her subconscious is open and at her most vulnerable. Many in the lifestyle call this sub space. Do not confuse it with a submissive mind set.

While traditionally most believe that for a submissive to break into subspace it requires pain enough to overload her mind and allows her to fall into sub space where she finds unimaginable bliss. I know for a FACT that pain is hardly the only way to get a submissive there. For the submissive that enjoys pain.... it is just the most accepted method.

However, the one thing I firmly believe that is required... is that a person be of a submissive nature. For instance, I know for a fact. I could never experience that place.. So unless you have discovered that you are indeed of a submissive nature... I doubt very seriously that you can find that place... anymore than I could. At least until such time that you explore and find that you enjoy being submissive.

Sub space is mental place/ condition that in general can be obtained by a submissive generally with the assistance of a Dominant or at least service top who knows what they are doing. From my experience, I know there are other, less violent ways to help a submissive get to sub space but those take time, connection and trust.

Regardless of what you want and do. I wish you the best. But I want you to understand someone cant just do a 180 and find something that some submissives have hunted after for years.

 

[Master_Doctor]

I agree with what you and Ack said, and you bring up a good point about sub space...
Can a Dom experience that same feeling? Or, a variation. I’m thinking the “in the zone” moments that come during... sports, say, or a musical performance, something where you must be in control and it just comes. It just flows.
The opposite of the sub space mindset.


No. Because a Dom isnt a sub. Doms have a Dom space that they can experience though. A mindset where we feel utter contentment in successfully Dominating a submissive and molding them into something both they want to be and what we wanted to mold them into. It is an ultimate feeling of empowerment and personal success that is very arousing. You see a D/s or M/s dynamic is like Yin and Yang. Both sides of the slash meet the needs of the other... Equal but opposite. While a submissive falls or put into subspace... (as its been explained to me) a pace of utter submission and contentment to the point some... are almost incapable of resisting suggestion. For that reason a submissive should not allow themselves to be put into subspace by anyone unless a high level of trust has been earned.


Not to derail. I’m sorry, OP.
The first time I experienced it the person I was with left abruptly, and I called my GF, another sub, and cried and cried. It felt so good. So EMPTY.
But because he left, that ended. When I found my “in the flesh” situation, I’ve found that it doesn’t take me long to get there at all. He knows what to do. He knows me.
Pain is a part of it, but not always.
I think that’s extremely important. Doc mentioned someone who knows what they are doing. That’s valuable, because they have to have enough experience to know when to end it. The sub, in sub space, CANNOT end it. Their mind has gone bye bye and they are in that emptied out space.
So, experience.
More important, to me, is a loving trusting KNOWING relationship. The Dom must know the sub’s limits, as well as their own.
Communication is key. Again and again.

Thank you for that Excellent description. In my experience I have to bring my subs back to reality... and when I do they are still gone... they are as you said empty and very helpless. So part of after care (a critical skill every Dom should learn) I hold them and wrap them in a comfy blanket. I remind them that they make me proud, that they are my good girl. This is the time the Dom needs to remind the sub of their worth and value. If a Dom is abusive or critical at this point... it can cause unimaginable damage to the sub. On the other hand. If a Dom is warm and caring during aftercare... while the sub is trying to get back to normal... the trust and even love that the sub feels after for the Dom... can be beyond measure. After care is a huge way to earn trust in the eyes of your sub. There is no time when a sub is more vulnerable than during and after they are brought out of subspace. Ive known a couple that are even... highly suggestible.

One special slave of mine (I had owned her for 3+ years) and I decided to try to have some fun and experiment with it. For us, the connection was so strong.. that after the first time... it was insanely easy for me to put her into subspace. So after a number of sessions. We agreed (ahead of time while she was in a normal head space) that I would see how suggestible she was. So I tried to plant a suggestion. It worked from that day on... if I spoke, whispered, or even texted her a specific phrase she instantly had an explosive orgasm. It was fun... We both enjoyed it. Every time I did it she would give me a mixed look of OMG that was hot coupled with Damn you... you did it again. I postulated that Subspace is very much connected with the submissive's subconscious... so its very dangerous to mess with one while in subspace and during recovery.

 

[Lady2020]

I’m looking for some inspiration for a role play in as a submissive. I’ve always been some what submissive by nature but haven’t fully explored it. Any ideas or good starting points?

Ask the Dom if he knows what SSC and sub space are.

 

[seela]

I think the OP might not be asking about subspace specifically, but uses that as a general term to submission.

So how do you get started with exploring submission? Some general ideas that might be helpful to a lot of people, not universally useful to all:

Find someone you trust, someone you like and who trusts and likes you back. Talk about your fantasies together, talk about limits, talk about what you've experienced and enjoyed before, what worked, what didn't work, what you would have wanted more of or less of. Learn about how to safely do the things you dream of, but also realize that not all dreams need to or can be fulfilled. Take your time to get to know yourself and your partner(s).

Start small, keep it fun. Stay connected with your partner(s). Don't be afraid to admit if something doesn't work even though you've fantasized about it for years. Remember it's all about give and take, even when there is domination and submission going on. Communicate openly. Keep your head in the game - it's very easy to slide into sub frenzy (the excitement you feel when you explore new things, when you just want more more more) especially when you're new to submission and it can be difficult to make good desicions in that frenzied state. Don't lie about yourself and your experience level, be open and honest, but remember to guard yourself, too. Keep your expectations realistic.

If you're looking for specific ideas for scenes, I suggest you read stories here, browse the threads, look at the pic threads and see if anything there sparks your interest. There are also BDSM checklists with many different BDSM activities neatly listed that you can take a look at and maybe fill out and use it as a jumping off point to explore your own fantasies and later to talk with potential partner(s).

And where to find people to do BDSM things with. That can be tricky depending on where you live and if you're looking to keep things online or if you want it to happen in the meat world. When the pandemic is (hopefully, eventually...) over, you can try googling BDSM munch and your city. They are very low key meet and greet type events for kinky folks. There are parties you can go to. Online Fetlife can be a good place to start, it has a lot of info about local events even beyond the English speaking world.

Finding a compatible partner usually takes time, so don't despair.

 

[Mei5ter]

I agree with what you and Ack said, and you bring up a good point about sub space...
Can a Dom experience that same feeling? Or, a variation. I’m thinking the “in the zone” moments that come during... sports, say, or a musical performance, something where you must be in control and it just comes. It just flows.
The opposite of the sub space mindset.

Label notwithstanding...yes.

It feels like you've bent the universe to your will for your partner's pleasure.

 

[Acktion]

How does that feel?

When I played football, I had a game where I had twenty-eight solo stops for an average of -3 yards. The entire rest of the team, including several all-state and one in particular that went on to OU and then the Philadelphia Eagles had twelve shared that I was also an assist. In other words, I was in on every stop and solely responsible sixty percent.

Musically, I once took my seat amongst the top five hundred high school voices in the state for a week of practice and a concert that twenty-thousand people did NOT sit down for two hours.

I've had a concert dedicated to me by someone who went on to Julliard.

I have stood over someone that had been threatening me and others with a gun, until I took it away from him, and known it was because of me that no one was hurt except for his broken jaw.

I have watched a man that I had given CPR to hug his grandkids as he mouthed "thank you" to me over their heads.

I have taken a double-black-diamond with a sixty mph blizzard screaming uphill into my face, with visibility less than the tips of my 120s.

And I have placed with both animals and showmanship in the nationals.

Add all of these together along with other moments (that I won't go into since I already can hear someone near and dear pointing out "even when it's true, it's still bragging"), and it doesn't come within shouting distance of gathering the shattered shards of my beloved's consciousness back in from sub-space, putting her back together with my care and comfort, and knowing without a shadow of a doubt that she is in a better place than when we began.

Or... as Freddie might say... https://youtu.be/8e3W6jaUiq0

I hope that helps a little?

 

[Mei5ter]

How does that feel?

Quot homines, tot sententiae.

 

[Mei5ter]

I know. Which is why I asked YOU.

I think it would make an interesting thread in its own right, but I'm conscious we're getting a long way OT.

 

[Lady2020]

When the OP comes back, we can get back on track.
I love reading this stuff. I have no idea how a Dom mind works in that way. I see it, with Necro, but I’ve never really asked him about it.
Maybe I will.

I would be interested.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

When the OP comes back, we can get back on track.
I love reading this stuff. I have no idea how a Dom mind works in that way. I see it, with Necro, but I’ve never really asked him about it.
Maybe I will.

You should ask.
It adds so many layers when you know. Especially when he's a good communicator.

 

[cocktaildress21]

I’m looking for some inspiration for a role play in as a submissive. I’ve always been some what submissive by nature but haven’t fully explored it. Any ideas or good starting points?

A quick skim reveals I disagree with basically everyone else in this thread.

I admit I have limited experience, but this is what I've found: *Everyone* who claims the dom should control everything is either fake and has never tried it in real life - or has tried and botched it terribly.

No play between two people ever - *ever* - relies on only one of them having fun. If you're with a dom who feels it's somehow your obligation to enjoy the things he does, you should leave him immediately and never look back.

Now ... personally I don't know much about roleplay. Or maybe I do? I know what I'm attracted to: Confident, smart, 'succesful' men. For such men, I can be submissive. So it's not a role they play, they need to actually be that way.

The more turned on I get, the more submissive I become. I like to display my submission - crawl for him, kiss his shoes, and I like showing myself off. I'm slightly exhibitionist too.

If you can, something that I find works really well is to be very vocal - beg for his cock, tell him how beautiful it is, how wonderful it tastes.

But none of this is really roleplay. So I don't know if this is what you're asking for.

 

[cocktaildress21]

No one in this thread said any of that.

Who says sub space isn’t fun? I crave it.

I could go throug the thread and quote everyone who said just that, but ... I'm not going to, I'm simply not getting into that.

I did not, however, at any point what so ever so much as mention sub space, or whether or not it's fun.

If you're going to respond to things I did not say - please just stop.

 

[seela]

I think the "problem" here is that there are two conversations happening (well really only one conversation) here.

One is focused on subspace and prompted by the title of this thread, the other one is focused on how to dip your toes in the world of D/s and role play prompted by the post itself rather than the title.

 

[Primalex]

A quick skim reveals I disagree with basically everyone else in this thread.

And your logical conclusion from this finding is...that you are particularly "woke"?

*Everyone* who claims the dom should control everything is either fake and has never tried it in real life - or has tried and botched it terribly.

ownedsubgal would like to have a word with you.

But as she likely won't respond anymore, you can start your education here:
http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=7293517&postcount=16

 

[seela]

And your logical conclusion from this finding is...that you are particularly "woke"?



ownedsubgal would like to have a word with you.

But as she likely won't respond anymore, you can start your education here:
http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=7293517&postcount=16

I miss OSG.

 

[cocktaildress21]

And your logical conclusion from this finding is...that you are particularly "woke"?

ownedsubgal would like to have a word with you.

I find your statements dubious based on my own real life experience. That's all. I could be wrong, I just doubt that.

And I really don't see how one anonymous poster pointing to another anonymous poster changes anything - but thanks for your input.

 

[DVS]

I’m looking for some inspiration for a role play in as a submissive. I’ve always been some what submissive by nature but haven’t fully explored it. Any ideas or good starting points?

I'm always a little suspicious about requests like this, because anybody who has dominant tendencies or submissive tendencies, should have their own ideas on what they like and what they would like to have happen.

That said, I know there could be people who aren't very creative and maybe need a bit of a start with some kind of scene. But, I still think that with just a little idea of some sort, most people can then go with it, on their own.

Now, we all know that the submissive is ultimately in charge, but once they give the control over to the dom, the dom is then in control, following the submissive's limits and safe words. So, maybe that's where you should start.
Limits are necessary, because they help create a road map for the dom to follow. And if being a submissive is new to you, for sure discuss a safe word system.

Hopefully, when two people first start something like this, they've talked out a possible scenario that interests both of them, so neither of them is just going through the motions to satisfy their partner. While that might work a few times, after a while, if both aren't gaining satisfaction from the experience, one of them is going to burn out.

As to any inspiration on being a submissive? Talk with your partner and maybe you'll get inspiration that way. Communicating and being open about your own likes and dislikes can start something really interesting. And the more talk before hand, the more information is shared, meaning you already have a massive head start on someone who just decides to go into this sort of thing blindly.

 

[Primalex]

I find your statements dubious based on my own real life experience. That's all. I could be wrong, I just doubt that.

And I really don't see how one anonymous poster pointing to another anonymous poster changes anything - but thanks for your input.

a) pseudonymous

b) All you can contribute here is another pseudonymous "real life experience".

Therefore, there are two options:

1) You don't think there is a value in pseudonymous postings. Then you better shut the fuck up right now and close your account, because you are just wasting everyone's time with worthless texts.

2) You think your contributions of your real life experiences do have some value and should be taken seriously, even though nobody knows you, but then this is true for everyone else, too. You are not special. You don't get to dismiss other people just because it's convenient for your personal reality bubble.

You have to make up your mind which option it's going to be now.

And right now your life experience is way more questionable to be a correct representation of reality than osg's one or the sum of everyone's else in here.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

I miss OSG.

Me, too. She’s one of who pops into my mind from time to time. She certainly contributed to diversity of thought and experiences on this forum.

 

[PaxNurgle]

It sounds like, going back to the original post, Freya was asking for IDEAS for D/s roleplay, with herself as the submissive, to get her into submissive headspace. Ideas for creative roleplay such as, hero/divine worship, Cop/bad guy arrest and interrogation scenario (with cuffs, etc) or some kind of medical exam scenario. If I am reading her post right. Perhaps, to her (assuming she is a newbie, but I actually have no idea what her actual experience is) a "sub space" means a mere role play, CosPlay type thing, rather than the powerful, thrilling, endorphin- fueled mental state of mind that a submissive feels from the intense sessions. I am not sure though what she means.

I could give plenty of fun, interesting ideas for creative BDSM-themed roleplay, or I could talk about subspace, but the latter is almost too personal for me to really bring up until I know which direction the discussion was meant to go.

 

[Master_Doctor]

A quick skim reveals I disagree with basically everyone else in this thread.

I admit I have limited experience, but this is what I've found: *Everyone* who claims the dom should control everything is either fake and has never tried it in real life - or has tried and botched it terribly.

No play between two people ever - *ever* - relies on only one of them having fun. If you're with a dom who feels it's somehow your obligation to enjoy the things he does, you should leave him immediately and never look back.

Now ... personally I don't know much about roleplay. Or maybe I do? I know what I'm attracted to: Confident, smart, 'succesful' men. For such men, I can be submissive. So it's not a role they play, they need to actually be that way.

The more turned on I get, the more submissive I become. I like to display my submission - crawl for him, kiss his shoes, and I like showing myself off. I'm slightly exhibitionist too.

If you can, something that I find works really well is to be very vocal - beg for his cock, tell him how beautiful it is, how wonderful it tastes.

But none of this is really roleplay. So I don't know if this is what you're asking for.

I have to disagree with you on 2 points. If you disagree with EVERYONE... then the likely hood is that perhaps you could be the one mistaken.

I am in a 14+ year relationship with my slave/wife. Still going on strong. To be bluntly honest. Yes I make all the decisions. She wants THIS. The Wanted a strong male to do this with her. She gets to be heard about everything... and I WANT to know how she feels and things about everything. But in our relationship we BOTH want me to make all the decisions. After 22 years of living this lifestyle real life. I can tell you that NOT everyone with this mindset are fakes. And we have been living in the same house together for 10 of those years come October.

I do agree with you that no one is obligated to like what someone else does. It does happen often though that if one person really enjoys something... then a loving partner may agree to do that thing because they may not enjoy it, in and of itself, they may enjoy making their partner happy by doing what the partner enjoys.

 

[Master_Doctor]

I'm always a little suspicious about requests like this, because anybody who has dominant tendencies or submissive tendencies, should have their own ideas on what they like and what they would like to have happen.

That said, I know there could be people who aren't very creative and maybe need a bit of a start with some kind of scene. But, I still think that with just a little idea of some sort, most people can then go with it, on their own.

Now, we all know that the submissive is ultimately in charge, but once they give the control over to the dom, the dom is then in control, following the submissive's limits and safe words. So, maybe that's where you should start.
Limits are necessary, because they help create a road map for the dom to follow. And if being a submissive is new to you, for sure discuss a safe word system.

Hopefully, when two people first start something like this, they've talked out a possible scenario that interests both of them, so neither of them is just going through the motions to satisfy their partner. While that might work a few times, after a while, if both aren't gaining satisfaction from the experience, one of them is going to burn out.

As to any inspiration on being a submissive? Talk with your partner and maybe you'll get inspiration that way. Communicating and being open about your own likes and dislikes can start something really interesting. And the more talk before hand, the more information is shared, meaning you already have a massive head start on someone who just decides to go into this sort of thing blindly.

I got the same feeling. Its also struck me strange that the OP hasnt come back to comment on their own thread.

I guess I started out my trying to explain the difference between subspace and head space for a submissive. two totally different concepts.

I do absolutely agree with your insights. If this sort of question had come from the Dominant, It would have been a red flag for me as being indicative of lazy Dom syndrome. I see those kinds of posts on Felife all the time. The Dom (or the Dom having his sub ask for him) asking the community how to dominate/ control his sub.

 

[cocktaildress21]

I have to disagree with you on 2 points. If you disagree with EVERYONE... then the likely hood is that perhaps you could be the one mistaken.

I am in a 14+ year relationship with my slave/wife. Still going on strong. To be bluntly honest. Yes I make all the decisions. She wants THIS. The Wanted a strong male to do this with her. She gets to be heard about everything... and I WANT to know how she feels and things about everything. But in our relationship we BOTH want me to make all the decisions. After 22 years of living this lifestyle real life. I can tell you that NOT everyone with this mindset are fakes. And we have been living in the same house together for 10 of those years come October.

I do agree with you that no one is obligated to like what someone else does. It does happen often though that if one person really enjoys something... then a loving partner may agree to do that thing because they may not enjoy it, in and of itself, they may enjoy making their partner happy by doing what the partner enjoys.

a) pseudonymous

b) All you can contribute here is another pseudonymous "real life experience".

Therefore, there are two options:

1) You don't think there is a value in pseudonymous postings. Then you better shut the fuck up right now and close your account, because you are just wasting everyone's time with worthless texts.

2) You think your contributions of your real life experiences do have some value and should be taken seriously, even though nobody knows you, but then this is true for everyone else, too. You are not special. You don't get to dismiss other people just because it's convenient for your personal reality bubble.

You have to make up your mind which option it's going to be now.

And right now your life experience is way more questionable to be a correct representation of reality than osg's one or the sum of everyone's else in here.

I make no claim to be any more trustworthy than the rest of you. I, too, am an anonymous forum poster, and my word should only be trusted in so far as it seems to make sense based solely on the merits of content - what I'm saying.

And what I'm saying is: I've never met anyone who claimed to be in that sort of dominant relation, who wasn't either just wishful thinking - or they'd actually tried it, and it ended poorly.

I apply that to both of you. Sorry. I see zero reason why what you're saying should be true in direct contradiction of what I've experienced of the world myself.

Am I calling you liars? No. Am I saying I don't trust you? Yes. But don't feel bad - I don't trust anyone on a forum like this, and I ask no one to trust me.

I merely offer opinion, which you may think of precisely what you will.