Help with description of characters

[HappySpouse]

I think in all writing (erotica, short stories, novels, biographical, anything), this is one of the toughest things to get right. A lot of people, like me, see the story as they read it. Waiting too long to describe part of a person or room becomes a hitch in the story while my mind redecorates or switches out actors.

In erotica we are usually going to see the bodies eventually, but the worst time to have to stop and re-sketch the characters is in the middle of sex scene. However, I doubt anyone enjoys gratuitous descriptions of body parts during the opening scene of a story. It feels so mechanical.

There is an option I've seen on this site of not trying to fit in an organic description and just putting a detailed description of the characters before the story starts. It can look a bit jarring a first, but it is effective at removing that awkward passage from the story and is not unheard of in other writing.

A method I was taught was not to write a description (or much of one) when you first start writing. Then make a note of every time you use a physical description in the story, and add those attributes to the description at the beginning. That way the reader has everything they need and nothing more. For instance, if you write about someone "clenching their fingers in the curls of her hair", then make a note. Later, add either curly hair to the beginning description or her curling her hair somewhere else.

P.S. I like that line. Someone in one of the three stories I'm working on will be clenching their fingers in the curls of her hair later tonight.

 

[AlexBailey]

Here's a description I'm particularly proud of. Using the comparison helps describe the physicality of both characters, the perspective and personality of the main character, and it pushes the action along.

-----


The mere sound of his breath reflects how much bigger he is than me, a full foot taller and nearly twice my weight, with his well-defined muscles, and his beautiful surf-tanned body dwarfing my small frame. I'd been dreaming and having fantasies of resting in his arms, now here I am.

-----

There is more character description in adjacent paragraphs, but I came up with this in an effort to avoid making a list of features.

 

[AlexBailey]

You can tell a lot about a person by their posessions.

If you spend a little time with five people -- say you're having dinner and drinks, then go out to a parking lot with their five cars, there is a good chance you can match which car is whose.

It's not completely reliable, but who comes to mind when you picture:

* A mirror polished Mercedes Benz.
* A delivery van with a dashboard stuffed full of clipboards and documents.
* A ragged old 4x4 pickup truck.
* An old VW beetle with chips and dents.
* A classic muscle car with gray primer paint, no hood, but a gleaming engine clean enough to eat off of.

The same is often true of people's dogs. Who is the owner of:

* The giant brindle mastiff.
* The obnoxious pomeranian.
* The black lab with the bandana for a collar.
* The three corgis eagerly tugging on their leashes.

 

[AlexBailey]

If you spend a little time with five people -- say you're having dinner and drinks, then go out to a parking lot with their five cars, there is a good chance you can match which car is whose.

It's not completely reliable, but who comes to mind when you picture:

* A mirror polished Mercedes Benz.
* A delivery van with a dashboard stuffed full of clipboards and documents.
* A ragged old 4x4 pickup truck.
* An old VW beetle with chips and dents.
* A classic muscle car with gray primer paint, no hood, but a gleaming engine clean enough to eat off of.

The same is often true of people's dogs. Who is the owner of:

* The giant brindle mastiff.
* The obnoxious pomeranian.
* The black lab with the bandana for a collar.
* The three corgis eagerly tugging on their leashes.

----

My brother pulls up the gravel driveway in his ragged old 4x4 pickup truck. He rolls into the yard in a cloud of dust and parks in front of the shop. No sooner has he opened the door when his huge black lab with a red bandana for a collar jumps over his lap and runs toward me with ears flopping and tail wagging.


My sister shows up next, struggling up the grade in her wheezing VW bug. She's had that thing since going away to college fifteen years ago. God, I hope she didn't bring that obnoxious Pomeranian with her!


In the distance is an approaching dust-storm, lead by a gleaming Mercedes Benz, which could only either be my late mother's greedy brother, or the attorney for the estate -- something tells me they might be one in the same.


----

Do you have a picture forming of any of these people yet? I haven't mentioned anything about how any of them look, sound, or smell... Dropping any details about them now will fill in a lot of blanks. Hair? Sunglasses? Coats? Shoes? First thing out of their mouths? You don't need to add much to have the reader painting their own pictures.

 

[Abbafan]

'She reminded me of a famous singer named Anni-Frid ...... '

LOL. That's the only description I would really need.