My new boss hates me.

[Tryharder62]

That's always fun!

 

[Adre]

How do you know?

Any idea why?

 

[HisArpy]

That's always fun!

Kick him and claim it's a software glitch.

 

[dolf]

Keep a diary. Obtain an unobtrusive voice recorder. Hope he crosses the line enough to let you retire early with a nice nest egg.

...or put laxatives in his coffee.

 

[butters]

That's always fun!

what makes you think that? could they just be having a bad day or have worries you don't know about?

cut 'em a little slack as a person but expect respect as an employee

 

[Rightguide]

Keep a diary. Obtain an unobtrusive voice recorder. Hope he crosses the line enough to let you retire early with a nice nest egg.

...or put laxatives in his coffee.

Are you assuming she/he serves his coffee?

 

[Rightguide]

That's always fun!

What are you doing wrong?

 

[CarlyAnn]

You shouldn't have screwed his wife

Or maybe you should have!!

 

[Tryharder62]

How do you know?

Any idea why?

When I met him I thought I would bring up similar places we had been. The people in his position move around to different places. I just said that it must be hard to move around so much. Well he announced later that he is an alcoholic. I don't know if he thought since I was at these places I would out him about having trouble on the job or he thought I was being condescending. He had to move around because he changed places after treatment. I didn't know nor would it make me think any less of him.

Then part of our reopening plan that was in place before he came involved taking temperatures. He was not happy that I screen him. He feels taking temperatures is unnecessary. I can't help it I have been assigned to do it on everybody.

He doesn't talk to me. Has had private meetings with all the other employees the first week. It is the third and he does not want to discuss anything with me. He asked other employees, and done a lot of inquiry, about the need for my position.

 

[Tryharder62]

You shouldn't have screwed his wife

Or maybe you should have!!

If only you knew...

 

[Tryharder62]

What are you doing wrong?

I think breathing!!!!

 

[CarlyAnn]

I think breathing!!!!

Stop doing that....

 

[jaF0]

I think it's the hat.

 

[sundries]

He doesn't talk to me. Has had private meetings with all the other employees the first week. It is the third and he does not want to discuss anything with me. He asked other employees, and done a lot of inquiry, about the need for my position.

He's gaslighting you.
I didn't even know what that is or how to recognize it, until someone on Lit. described how they'd been mind-fucked in their personal relationship.
The more I started reading about it, the more I realized "damn, it's much more present at work than in personal relationships, but inadequately addressed because
-a. people don't know how to recognize it b. most co-workers would rather tell the target it's all in their head, than risk losing their job

This lady explains it so well. The fact that she's a minority is significant, because she's more attuned to things that most of us miss:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QobgI9_aZ8w
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zf0QD33029s&list=PLWUDg5M7S2N5vdaTAjAwl2btXMjk55pBw

 

[Rightguide]

I think breathing!!!!

Are you wheezing?

 

[rae121452]

i've never had a job where the bosses didn't hate me. i thought that was normal.

 

[Liar]

i've never had a job where the bosses didn't hate me. i thought that was normal.

Don't take this the wrong way but... are you sure that's not a you thing?

 

[adrina]

Start looking for a new job.

 

[jomar]

Maybe you remind him of someone he has issues with and he doesn't know how to handle it as an adult.

 

[rae121452]

Don't take this the wrong way but... are you sure that's not a you thing?

i'm quite sure it was.

 

[Tryharder62]

Are you wheezing?

Watch the whole thing.
https://media.tenor.com/images/6b8f32439fde15e5eaca60870c91325a/tenor.gif

Start looking for a new job.

I am. I recognize this signs.

 

[Tryharder62]

He's gaslighting you.

Very interesting there. Thanks for sharing!!

 

[FGB]

I'm on Boss...eight or nine I forget.

Some were assholes, most not.

I am still there and they are gone or dead.

I am always cautious until I have known them a year or two.

 

[sundries]

Start looking for a new job.

It sounded pretty ominous to are too.

But it depends: is the douche just trying to f... with her mind, or to get rid of her?
Two scenarios, two different actions, since good jobs are pretty scarce since covid.

Very interesting there. Thanks for sharing!!

Gaslighting: been there, and it was the most awful time in my life.

The bitch was a minority member herself, so I thought it was me - why would another minority pick on me, since we're in the same boat? I was also on a work visa at the time, so if I lost my job - kaput, go back home (which was her intention). Horrible stress.
-- My saving grace was that I once broke down into tears after hours in front of two (White local, ironically so) co-workers, and they told me that she has a pattern of picking on people like me. That made me feel validated & gave me strength.
In saying that, I was lucky - most co-workers would sell their soul to the Devil & stab you in the back, in order to get ahead or keep their jobs.

I've seen lots of crap like that around me (towards others) ever since.
But I duplicitously decided not to act cause I didn't want to go through such reminders again & upset my position.
We become part of the problem.

 

[colddiesel]

There are two interpretations that can be put on your account:

1. Either, that everything you say is thoroughly justified and he is for whatever reasons picking on you as an easy target.

2. Or, you are a whining, passive aggressive, moaner who prefers to bring her complaints here (or to friends?) rather than face up to the issue.

My history is that I built and ran my own personnel placement business and have seen similar issues before. Firstly, many weaker bosses tend to sort out who they perceive to be the weakest individual and give them a hard time. It makes them feel tough and tends to intimidate other staff as well, because they do not want to be in the firing line in your place.

However, there are always staff who feel comfortable in the victim role. They portray themselves as the good guy, the understanding one, the one who always sees the others point of view. Then they moan about it long and hard to other colleagues (and mebbe on an internet site somewhere)

In either case you can either take the initiative and have it out with your boss or put up with him. Ask him what is the problem - what can we do about it? Do not appease him.

Do not continue to complain to your colleagues about him - eventually one of them will see advantage in dropping you in the mire - they will.

You have to stand up for yourself. Your posts here over a long period of time indicate that you perceive yourself as the person who always 'understands' others views and almost never states disagreement. If you play the victim, you will become the victim.