Synopsis and Warning for a novel I'm working on

[txblush]

Hello Literotica Authors,

I'm not a new member to the website. However, it's been a long time since I've visited the bullentin boards that I rarely posted on but found helpful when I posted my first novel, with the help of a volunteer editor here. That novel has since been removed from the stories section by my request. The comments I received gave me confidence to continue learning about writing an erotic novel.

Now I'm working on a new story and I'm a third of the way through when the synopsis and warning occurred to me. I'd appreciate any feedback on whether or not it would interest anyone who writes in the BDSM section here. Thank you, in advance for you help in letting me know if I'm on the right track.

Blurb which will become the synopsis.... sometime in the future.

Let’s go back in time when communication was face to face; unless it was done while talking on a telephone connected to a land line. And sex was rarely spoken aloud between adults. Instead it just happened naturally. Except with person(s) who lived a hedonistic lifestyle where talking honestly with an open mind, and a giving spirit is the key to fulfilling their most intimate desires before practicing safe sex and living a happily ever after lifestyle that isn’t conventional by any means.

WARNING! This is not a ménage between two men and a woman. It’s a complete work of fiction about three extraordinary fictional characters; Alex Harris, Katrina Wilson, and Rayna Martin whose lives collide on a hot summer’s day when Alex meets Katrina at a party and then later brings her home to meet Rayna. What happens between these three fictional characters is not for the faint of heart. So, to those of you who are squeamish about bodily fluids that aren’t related to an orgasm please do yourself a favor and find another erotic novel to read. Because I am not responsible for a reader’s reaction to what they chose to read after my warning. My responsibility, as a writer, is to tell their story to the best of my ability. Thank you.

PS Please excuse my grammatical errors as I am also editing this fictional tale and doing my best to fill in all the intricate details of how to write an erotic D&s novel.

Edited for a little bit of clarity. Thank you all again for offering your feedback prior to this update.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

Two things.

First is your question about people being interested. Rule 34 applies - one needn’t read your synopsis to know that somebody will be interested, somebody will (all other things being equal) think it’s just what they needed . That said, if one takes ‘bodily fluids which aren’t related to orgasm’ to mean blood, urine, etc, then your audience slice is of course going to drop substantially. That’s not being judgemental, just realistic. You’re free to enjoy your own thing, but so is everybody else and waterworks are off the scale for a lot of people.

Second point is that your warning about it not being for everyone ties in nicely with an ongoing discussion here about whether or not authors should include up-front warnings for potentially controversial or upsetting things. Some argue no, but I am in the other camp. If you’re going that far down the rabbit hole, I think a warning will a) save many readers discomfort, which is just good manners and b) save you the one-bomb scores you can otherwise expect from such offended readers.

Your call; good luck with the tale.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

Three things come to mind. First you say it's not about a ménage with two men and a woman, then list three female names (or two female and one male, if Alex is male?) That's just confusing.

Then calling them extraordinary - that's a lot to live up to! I'm not sure whether to expect tentacles, but if the BDSM aspects don't meet my expectations of extraordinary, I'll be disappointed!

Re bodily fluids - what do you actually mean? You may put off potential readers by being vague. I would say for example: "Contains golden showers, piss control, forced urine drinking, punishments that lead to bleeding, knife play resulting in bleeding, violent sex and fisting resulting in bleeding, blood-letting, spitting on people, and forced ingestion of snot"
Again, warning it's not for the faint of heart is vague - is there permanent bodily harm? Dubious consent? Dark unpleasant tone where a character is treated more as an object than a person? Personally that's what I'd like to know, over whether some fluids appear that aren't really my cup of tea.

I've found Lit BDSM readers are more put off by bisexual men existing than anything else. Warning of them will hugely reduce your readership but also reduce the down-votes.

 

[ElectricBlue]

I wouldn't put that up as a "squick warning" because it's not. It sounds like the blurb on the back of a book to me. If the novel is going to be as superb as promised, let it stand on its own two feet. This reads to me as fluffing it up to be something it might not be at all, because it's all too coy. It's marketing, not content warning.

 

[txblush]

To TarnishedPenny,
Thank you for letting me know someone other than myself will be interested in reading my novel. The synopsis just popped in my head as a blurb that I felt I needed to write down for myself while I’m working on the novel, along with my plot points so the characters don’t run amok.
Also, for your comment on narrowing the audience to a niche market appeal. Right now, I’m the audience who’s read what I’ve written so far and there is urine and blood, but not blood as a sport. It’s part of the plot. Other readers include my spouse and one other person that I read aloud the nonsexual content because I want their opinion on my question, “can you visualize what I’ve written?”
About your second point. I was in the no camp as my thoughts back then were its fiction, made up, not real. However, I also know that my earlier writing and current work isn’t palpable to everyone. It is a niche market and I had to come to terms with issuing a warning as it saves me from receiving negative, non-constructive comments. Thanks for the good luck comment too.

 

[txblush]

To Kumquatqueen,

First, Alex is a male, short for Alexander.
Second, the characters are extraordinary and incredibly special to me. They live up to my expectations on how I view BDSM. I’ll strike the word out of the synopsis so as not to disappoint other people’s hopes.

Third, I’ll answer “yes,” to all of your questions about my vague warning as there is permanent bodily harm, dubious consent, and dark unpleasant tones which is a part of a character’s backstory and told to the reader through dialogue, not shown in graphic detail.

Lastly, I wouldn’t know the first thing about how to write about a bisexual male. Most of my fictional reading on BDSM ménage has been about two dominant males and one female. But as a writer I thought, why aren’t there any novels on a submissive female, a switch female, and a dominant male? As I’m almost certain they’re out in the real world.

Thanks for your comments.

 

[txblush]

To Electricblue,

The novel is a work in progress which is why I posted here to find out if my warning came across as offensive. I wasn’t trying to coy, however I do like fluff just not in my writing.

Thank you for letting me know my blurb can be used as a marketing tool as I had no idea.

 

[txblush]

I forget to mention one other thing. The characters are ordinary people. They're not billionaires, or millionaires, although one is rich, the other is well off, and the last character has a job that pays enough to provide the essentials with a bit of savings for a rainy day. They have other responsibilities, and the sex between them is safe, sane and consensual.

Thanks again for posting your comments. They were very helpful.

 

[KeithD]

The warning wouldn't do anything for me, no, sorry. The phrases that would come to mind as I breezed by it would probably be something like "I'll be the judge of that" and "too much telling." I'm sure it would be fine with some others and considered helpful by yet others, but I'm not a fan of what I take to be defensive or "maybe I don't cover it well enough otherwise" warning slugs, and I would take this as both.

 

[gunhilltrain]

I forget to mention one other thing. The characters are ordinary people. They're not billionaires, or millionaires, although one is rich, the other is well off, and the last character has a job that pays enough to provide the essentials with a bit of savings for a rainy day. They have other responsibilities, and the sex between them is safe, sane and consensual.

Thanks again for posting your comments. They were very helpful.

You probably want to go easy on any disclaimers, either on the forum or with the chapters themselves.

If you really have something "squicky," then the short description line should be adequate as a warning or as merely a description. (I assume you're publishing it in chapters, right?) Maybe a single line at the top of the text can be justified. Otherwise, just let it rip and see what happens.

 

[txblush]

To KeithD,

I appreciate your taking the time to look over my posted message. As I explained in a replied post to Electricblue my novel is a work in progress and I'm interested in feedback that will help me with my decision of whether or not to post or publish the novel.

Thank you, for letting me know there was too much telling in my synopsis.

 

[txblush]

To gunhilltrain,

I'm not really the type of person to let it rip. I'm more of a "let's think about this before you go off half-cocked," type of person when it comes to my writing because I'm not trying to offend, but to offer other fictional stories with the squicky parts that appeal to a niche.

Again, I'm only a third of the way through the writing process, and yes it's in chapter format.

Thank you for the advice on disclaimers.

 

[SimonDoom]

My reaction is: I have no idea what you're talking about. I read what you wrote and I'm confused and your warning provides me almost no help about whether I want to read your story or not.

A warning/disclaimer only makes sense if you respect potential readers and your focus is on warning away readers who might not like your story. So play it straight. Get rid of all the melodramatic talk and hyperbole. Let them know what's in it that they might object to and leave it at that.

The first three sentences of your "disclaimer" tell me, a potential reader, nothing useful. Sentence 4 says something about bodily fluids, but doesn't ID which bodily fluids. It, too, tells me nothing useful. In sentences 5 and 6 you are talking about yourself. So your disclaimer consists of 6 sentences that provide no useful information to the reader, unless the reader is so squicked by bodily fluids of unknown types that the reader will want to stay away.

 

[txblush]

Thank you SimonDoom

Thank you for the advice on clarity. Hopefully, I'll be clearer in my next attempt at creating a synopsis and a disclaimer. As it was a quick blurb I needed to include at the top of the novel to remind me those will need to be a part of the writing process.

 

[UsuallyPresent]

Not a complaint, an observation - this is more a teaser than a warning. Which has its own value, IMO, but should be judged differently (also IMO).


As a warning, it'll chase off some, and it'll draw one-bombs from others who never bother to read further.


As a teaser, it'll draw some in who'll be disappointed that their particular preference isn't catered to in their particular idiom, get curious reactions from others, and be well appreciated by others. See above re: one-bombs, too, tho'.

IMO. YMMV, 'course.

 

[gunhilltrain]

To gunhilltrain,

I'm not really the type of person to let it rip. I'm more of a "let's think about this before you go off half-cocked," type of person when it comes to my writing because I'm not trying to offend, but to offer other fictional stories with the squicky parts that appeal to a niche.

Again, I'm only a third of the way through the writing process, and yes it's in chapter format.

Thank you for the advice on disclaimers.

I think you got that I meant you can think about it a lot during the process of creating it. And you got that I meant that the time comes when you publish it without apologies.

 

[txblush]

I think you got that I meant you can think about it a lot during the process of creating it. And you got that I meant that the time comes when you publish it without apologies.

Yes, exactly. In the writing process I do "let it rip." But, when it comes to publishing I often feel like I need to apologize for not conforming to what's considered marketable.

 

[txblush]

Not a complaint, an observation - this is more a teaser than a warning. Which has its own value, IMO, but should be judged differently (also IMO).


As a warning, it'll chase off some, and it'll draw one-bombs from others who never bother to read further.


As a teaser, it'll draw some in who'll be disappointed that their particular preference isn't catered to in their particular idiom, get curious reactions from others, and be well appreciated by others. See above re: one-bombs, too, tho'.

IMO. YMMV, 'course.

Thank you for the observation on the teaser.

I want to chase off readers who may not like what I've written to avoid the one-bombers, and I'll keep in mind what you've written about readers who don't read any further than the synopsis, which is a blurb, and needs work for clarity.

I'm not too concerned about readers who'll be disappointed that their preferences aren't considered. However, my hope is the novel will be appreciated by those who read the BDSM/D&s/menage genre who want a little more reality in their fiction as I learned a lot by reading the nonfiction books that have been published by real people who actually live the lifestyle I can only write about.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

txblush - May I offer my thanks in turn for your courtesy in replying to other posters. It's nice - all too often, the effort people put into responding is not even acknowledged.

A belated welcome to Lit.

 

[Voboy]

I like the character limit on the synopsis line here at Lit because it forces you to be concise and to choose your words carefully. This, in turn, can serve as a way to attract the reader when wordier descriptions won't.

In other words, OP, I think your synopsis is far, far too long. It would not attract me.

"Katrina tests Alex' boundaries after a party."

That? That, I might be tempted to explore. It raises questions in my mind: what happens after the party? What boundaries does he have? How does she test them? I think I'm curious now!

Those are questions which I can only answer if I read your work. And that's what you want me to do, right?

As for your disclaimer, well, I'd make that shorter too. But that's just me.

 

[txblush]

txblush - May I offer my thanks in turn for your courtesy in replying to other posters. It's nice - all too often, the effort people put into responding is not even acknowledged.

A belated welcome to Lit.

You've welcome TarnishedPenny. I appreciated everyone's comments and the time it took to write their posts as it's important to me to know what I'll need to work on in regards to a synopsis and disclaimer, as the two draw and/or detract readers, and I want to be as clear as possible that my novel may, or may not, appeal to a particular person's fictional reading material.

 

[txblush]

I like the character limit on the synopsis line here at Lit because it forces you to be concise and to choose your words carefully. This, in turn, can serve as a way to attract the reader when wordier descriptions won't.

In other words, OP, I think your synopsis is far, far too long. It would not attract me.

"Katrina tests Alex' boundaries after a party."

That? That, I might be tempted to explore. It raises questions in my mind: what happens after the party? What boundaries does he have? How does she test them? I think I'm curious now!

Those are questions which I can only answer if I read your work. And that's what you want me to do, right?

As for your disclaimer, well, I'd make that shorter too. But that's just me.

Hello Voboy, thank you for the reminder on character limits in a Lit synopsis as I'd forgotten about it. I wasn't very good at doing those when I posted a novel on Lit years ago, that I've since had removed.

How about this for an opening? Katrina bumps into Alex at the door of a party she wants to escape from, the two side step a couple of times as though they were dancing. She shoves him aside. Alex slips off the step, grabs her wrist, and takes her down with him.

Not sure if that raises any questions, but I hope it piques your interest.

And yes, I'd like you to read my work, when it's complete.

 

[Brutal_One]

To Kumquatqueen,

Second, the characters are extraordinary and incredibly special to me. They live up to my expectations on how I view BDSM.
.

TXBlush - that take makes it interesting from my point of view. Just saying. In general I don’t come to read though I probably should, I come to Lit to publish my story a long story arc but like you as part of that likewise is my own view of BDSM. In particular the D/s side.

I don’t make that easy though (the actual BDSM side for me is very clear so it sounds you are the same though the likelihood is that they may be very different. In summary for me I see the D/s side as being quite monogamous which for a lot of Dom’s would seem odd indeed. The point is the relationship should come across as unique and authentic as the real D/s relationship should be equal in my mind rather than one sided.

I would always say it’s probable that one side ‘knows’ more about such relationships than the other so I see a teaching or learning aspect with of course the usual ‘reading minds’ in terms of understanding each other without words ultimately.

I am not sure the ‘Body fluids’ would put me off necessarily nor would it have the opposite effect as kinks like scat and water sports are really not my thing.

But yes it is your BDSM take is what would interest me. As much as to get a viewpoint though my own take is part some early literature when much younger and my own experiences over the years with the discipline.

When do you think it would be written or as you are doing it in chapters where up to and how many envisaged?

Brutal One

 

[txblush]

TXBlush - that take makes it interesting from my point of view. Just saying. In general I don’t come to read though I probably should, I come to Lit to publish my story a long story arc but like you as part of that likewise is my own view of BDSM. In particular the D/s side.

I don’t make that easy though (the actual BDSM side for me is very clear so it sounds you are the same though the likelihood is that they may be very different. In summary for me I see the D/s side as being quite monogamous which for a lot of Dom’s would seem odd indeed. The point is the relationship should come across as unique and authentic as the real D/s relationship should be equal in my mind rather than one sided.

I would always say it’s probable that one side ‘knows’ more about such relationships than the other so I see a teaching or learning aspect with of course the usual ‘reading minds’ in terms of understanding each other without words ultimately.

I am not sure the ‘Body fluids’ would put me off necessarily nor would it have the opposite effect as kinks like scat and water sports are really not my thing.

But yes it is your BDSM take is what would interest me. As much as to get a viewpoint though my own take is part some early literature when much younger and my own experiences over the years with the discipline.

When do you think it would be written or as you are doing it in chapters where up to and how many envisaged?

Brutal One

Thank you Brutal_One.

I sent you a PM. It will explain my brief thank you note here as I'm interested in your point of view on the subject of D/s as well. As it's an important element to my work.