Ghosting

[MMM_wms]

Once again I have been ghosted after an exchange of wonderful mails. Love letters really, and ghosting hurts all the more, when it happens in that particular mood. The woman I’ve been exchanging mails with must really be very badly off, I suspect; otherwise she would not need drama like this to entertain herself with.

OK, I feel better already after I vented my disappointment. This is Lit, after all, where one better be prepared for anything. And I can do nothing better now than look forward. All my personal ads still stand; why should a ghosting woman change my dreams and desires?

In case you should be a woman looking for intimate companionship, I could not possibly do you any favor now by trying to summarize what I had written in my ads at earlier times. You’ll just have to read for yourself what I wrote. A manageable task, I figure: Start with my first ad, and then read my last, and anything else in between, if a headline piques your interest.

Life goes on, and neither ghosting nor Covid-19, nor an imitator still occupying the desk in the Oval Office for the moment, can change my hopeless optimism. Good luck to you all, as well.

 

[filt]

Hello mate.

Sorry to hear about that, not much more to add.

The issue with words on a screen we have little idea what life is like; work, unforeseen circumstances, home life, mental health issues. It really is an endless list of possibilities.

Feel your disappointment, many of us have been there and those that haven’t might be illustrating bravado. It’s nice to hear it’s not deterred you my friend. I am sure you’ll find someone you’re happy with that is worthy of your time.

All the best.

 

[MMM_wms]

thanks much for your cheerful remarks, filt.

And then again,getting ghosted always opens up new opportunities

 

[Cyberbella]

I've been ghosted many times myself. Mostly by the same person who keeps coming back. Each time he reveals some new facet of his life that he was too scared to admit to me earlier. It's almost like a mystery novel, but I'm really getting tired of the plot and the way history with him keeps repeating itself. Just wanted to show my empathy and add that she is probably ghosting because either life has become too difficult for her to balance your e-relationship and her own reality... or she may have felt some guilt in her trickery. I mean... she could even be a he. Best of luck to you!

 

[Jada59]

I've been ghosted many times myself. Mostly by the same person who keeps coming back. Each time he reveals some new facet of his life that he was too scared to admit to me earlier. It's almost like a mystery novel, but I'm really getting tired of the plot and the way history with him keeps repeating itself. Just wanted to show my empathy and add that she is probably ghosting because either life has become too difficult for her to balance your e-relationship and her own reality... or she may have felt some guilt in her trickery. I mean... she could even be a he. Best of luck to you!

Jinxy. I've had the same. It sucks.

 

[Jada59]

Are you sure she was a she? I used to run a chat room and many of the "women" there were really men.

 

[ComplexSituation]

I've been ghosted many times myself. Mostly by the same person who keeps coming back. Each time he reveals some new facet of his life that he was too scared to admit to me earlier. It's almost like a mystery novel, but I'm really getting tired of the plot and the way history with him keeps repeating itself. Just wanted to show my empathy and add that she is probably ghosting because either life has become too difficult for her to balance your e-relationship and her own reality... or she may have felt some guilt in her trickery. I mean... she could even be a he. Best of luck to you!

This rings a bell with me big time!
I know most men are known to play games but I have had some interesting encounters and exchanges with some lovely ladies, who did not turn out so nice in the end.
But this is world wide web, we all have to develop thick skin.

Good luck to all of us on lit searching for whatever we need.

 

[queenofdeviance]

I'm really sorry about your situation. I've been more or less ghosted recently by my online boyfriend of 2.5 years, who I originally met through Lit.

I guess he isn't dealing well with lockdown and other things going on in his life and he just completely shut down and shut me out. It hurts like hell, but all you can really do is move on

 

[Newguy30]

I'm truly sorry to hear about your, and those of the others who have posted in commiseration, misfortunes. I know it hurts. It always does, but things will get easier with time. I do hope your next partner is more understanding.

 

[10169kek]

Once again I have been ghosted after an exchange of wonderful mails. Love letters really, and ghosting hurts all the more, when it happens in that particular mood. The woman I’ve been exchanging mails with must really be very badly off, I suspect; otherwise she would not need drama like this to entertain herself with.

OK, I feel better already after I vented my disappointment. This is Lit, after all, where one better be prepared for anything. And I can do nothing better now than look forward. All my personal ads still stand; why should a ghosting woman change my dreams and desires?

In case you should be a woman looking for intimate companionship, I could not possibly do you any favor now by trying to summarize what I had written in my ads at earlier times. You’ll just have to read for yourself what I wrote. A manageable task, I figure: Start with my first ad, and then read my last, and anything else in between, if a headline piques your interest.

Life goes on, and neither ghosting nor Covid-19, nor an imitator still occupying the desk in the Oval Office for the moment, can change my hopeless optimism. Good luck to you all, as well.

It happens to all of us in the cyber world. I gave my heart to someone a long time ago in the old days if IRC chat. Needless to say I was crushed when the truth came out that I (and many others) had been played by this woman. I would almost rather be ghosted than to feel as if I had been made a fool of, but regardless they both suck. Keep on trucking dude.

 

[Bewleybrother]

I've been ghosted many times myself. Mostly by the same person who keeps coming back. Each time he reveals some new facet of his life that he was too scared to admit to me earlier. It's almost like a mystery novel, but I'm really getting tired of the plot and the way history with him keeps repeating itself. Just wanted to show my empathy and add that she is probably ghosting because either life has become too difficult for her to balance your e-relationship and her own reality... or she may have felt some guilt in her trickery. I mean... she could even be a he. Best of luck to you!

I was thinking that about the sexuality of the people we might converse with.
What's to stop someone pretending to be another sex to gain the attention /gratification they want need.
The ratio of men to women is very one sided and so the opportunity is there?.Tell me what you think?.

 

[VinegarStrokes36]

I've been ghosted many times myself. Mostly by the same person who keeps coming back. Each time he reveals some new facet of his life that he was too scared to admit to me earlier. It's almost like a mystery novel, but I'm really getting tired of the plot and the way history with him keeps repeating itself. Just wanted to show my empathy and add that she is probably ghosting because either life has become too difficult for her to balance your e-relationship and her own reality... or she may have felt some guilt in her trickery. I mean... she could even be a he. Best of luck to you!

Probably hit the nail on the head there. I'm currently being ghost by a LD - LT (3 years) gf (we meet up 9-12 times a year but still LD due to school & work arraignments right now) and I'm almost positive that it is covid related. She will talk to me one every week to two weeks, but then disappears for weeks at a time. Had a healthy relationship leading up to all this, but I think they stress and reality kind of hit people differently.

 

[mscpl389]

The rejection side of being ghosted I can handle. It is the just up and poof part that gets me. Have had it happen a couple of times, one that I thought I had a great connection with. I would rather you tell me they didnt feel the connection, decided they didnt like me. Just anything but proof, gone and will not answer.

 

[Jada59]

The rejection side of being ghosted I can handle. It is the just up and poof part that gets me. Have had it happen a couple of times, one that I thought I had a great connection with. I would rather you tell me they didnt feel the connection, decided they didnt like me. Just anything but proof, gone and will not answer.

What gets me is that there's always that thought of... Did they die? My current BF told me that he was very sick. That's the last I've heard from him. Yes, I could drive over there but if he has COVID, I don't want to get it. And if he's in the hospital... Then he wouldn't be there to answer the door. It's tough not knowing.

 

[MMM_wms]

What gets me is that there's always that thought of... Did they die? My current BF told me that he was very sick. That's the last I've heard from him. Yes, I could drive over there but if he has COVID, I don't want to get it. And if he's in the hospital... Then he wouldn't be there to answer the door. It's tough not knowing.

dear Jada, it seems to me the relationship with that BF you have described to us now for a while, is fraught with lots of real and potential problems. In case your gettig ghosted should persist for a longer period still, do you suppose you can consider it a relief also, not having to contend with all these problems any longer?

Pls take my question as an entirely friendly suggestion. Good luck to you in any case.

 

[Mtnmike]

It's happened so much that I'm more surprised when they don't.
I'm easy to get along with just tell me if you're not interested. I'm a big boy, I can take it.

 

[NotThatMrsJones]

I was ghosted during my previous existence here. He was a really nice guy, or so I thought. I forget what it was we started chatting about, but from there it graduated to emailing one another and then chatting via Yahoo Messenger (that shows you how long ago it was). We had been communicating with one another for about six months, telling each other anything and everything that was on our minds, talking about sex (of course) and about other things. I can't say that I was in love with him, but I really liked him, and really looked forward to talking with him, either via chat or email.

Then it just stopped. He had written me to tell me good night, and that was it. No more responses, never back on Yahoo, nothing. I became really despondent over it. I tried to think back, was it something I had done? Was it something I said? For the longest time I blamed myself, even cried over it a couple of times. That's when I left Lit and withdrew from most social media. I had to use my computer for work-related things, but outside of that, I didn't go online for personal things for some time. I just didn't want to open myself up for that sort of heartache.

I got over him eventually. I really don't know whatever happened to him. Maybe he died. Maybe he had a wife/girlfriend who found out about our online relationship. Maybe he just bored with me and moved onto someone else. One of the reasons why I came back to Lit was to see if he was still around. He doesn't appear to be, unless he's here under another name like I am.

I just wanted to put my two cents worth out there. Ghosting seems to be happening more and more, and it does play with the feelings of people. Those who do it with no regard for others are the most selfish of people in my opinion.

 

[Loveitdady]

It's happened so much that I'm more surprised when they don't.
I'm easy to get along with just tell me if you're not interested. I'm a big boy, I can take it.

Exactly...I have been ghosted so many times..they will love to chat and share pictures but one day ..poof..they are gone.. but I can handle it

 

[ElizaBennet33]

I was ghosted during my previous existence here. He was a really nice guy, or so I thought. I forget what it was we started chatting about, but from there it graduated to emailing one another and then chatting via Yahoo Messenger (that shows you how long ago it was). We had been communicating with one another for about six months, telling each other anything and everything that was on our minds, talking about sex (of course) and about other things. I can't say that I was in love with him, but I really liked him, and really looked forward to talking with him, either via chat or email.

Then it just stopped. He had written me to tell me good night, and that was it. No more responses, never back on Yahoo, nothing. I became really despondent over it. I tried to think back, was it something I had done? Was it something I said? For the longest time I blamed myself, even cried over it a couple of times. That's when I left Lit and withdrew from most social media. I had to use my computer for work-related things, but outside of that, I didn't go online for personal things for some time. I just didn't want to open myself up for that sort of heartache.

I got over him eventually. I really don't know whatever happened to him. Maybe he died. Maybe he had a wife/girlfriend who found out about our online relationship. Maybe he just bored with me and moved onto someone else. One of the reasons why I came back to Lit was to see if he was still around. He doesn't appear to be, unless he's here under another name like I am.

I just wanted to put my two cents worth out there. Ghosting seems to be happening more and more, and it does play with the feelings of people. Those who do it with no regard for others are the most selfish of people in my opinion.

I'm so sorry this happened to you and anyone else. It hurts badly doesn't it when you have invested time and emotion into someone and they disappear suddenly.

We do think the worse because weird as it sounds, believing they are hurt and can't connect with us is easier to deal with than thinking they chose not to connect with us anymore.

I hope you can find some peace over what happened. I realise that wasting precious time thinking about someone who doesn't think about you, is really not worth it.

 

[MMM_wms]

Attempting short summary of this thread

First of all I like to thank everyone, who read my opening post, understood it, and left an empathic reply for me. 37% of the posts on this thread.

The rest of you saw this thread as a welcome opportunity to vent their own private problems; Jada leading again with four posts; what else does one expect from Jada?. She seems to do that with every thread with a header containing a word she is familiar with.

And the rest of you posters used my thread as a chance for some private comms between yourselves, apparently also the norm here on the Personals forum.

Of the responses directed to me, I saw two and one half (or 13%) agree with my position that ghosting is a despicable crime against civility. With one rather annoying irony: the woman most vehemently in agreement with me, ended up ghosting me herself a couple of days later. After we had exchanged countless mails the night before, in which we discovered one resonance after another between the two of us. So much for the question of honesty in the posts on this thread.

All in all an interesting experience for me, I’d say. I’m looking forward to interact with such highly responsive Literocians again in the future.

 

[JustLookingMaybeText]

Well that sucks :-(

 

[messedupkitten]

.....

 

[Orchidea73]

First of all I like to thank everyone, who read my opening post, understood it, and left an empathic reply for me. 37% of the posts on this thread.

The rest of you saw this thread as a welcome opportunity to vent their own private problems; Jada leading again with four posts; what else does one expect from Jada?. She seems to do that with every thread with a header containing a word she is familiar with.

And the rest of you posters used my thread as a chance for some private comms between yourselves, apparently also the norm here on the Personals forum.

Is it a problem that the others used this thread to talk about their experience as well?

I just wanted a person i could share my messedup mind with safely and anonymously, Someone who doesnt judge no matter what or demand things from me or just jerk off and leave say really mean things to me. I dont feel safe sharing with someone IRL i dont want to end up in a nuthouse. I want Someone i could talk to all the time day and night. Im going extracrazy lately thanks to the apocalypse. I am prolly going to die a virgin. Thank you.

That person is you.
If you don't fix it, nobody will.

 

[queenofdeviance]

Is it a problem that the others used this thread to talk about their experience as well?



That person is you.
If you don't fix it, nobody will.

I'm wondering the same thing. I thought commiseration was a pretty normal part of expressing empathy. I certainly didn't expect to have stats run on the responses to OP!!

 

[Orchidea73]

I'm wondering the same thing. I thought commiseration was a pretty normal part of expressing empathy. I certainly didn't expect to have stats run on the responses to OP!!

LOL!