A Challenge To RAAC Writers

[FireFox59]

Many of you RAAC writers like to complain about us BTB crowd when we comment on stories where the writer makes the husband a wimp and he's supposed to be the reason the wife cheated in the first place. Maybe he's working too much trying to support her and his family. He's not sending her flowers or cards every other day. He's not romancing her. He's not kissing her ass daily. Or she's just at that age were she just deserves a little strange cock for raising their children etc. etc. I understand slamming those that degrade the story writer and call them names. Usually the anonymous crowd. Totally get that and agree it's uncalled for. That said for most of these stories I have just one question...how do you ever completely trust the wife again??? I can't imagine how when she goes out of town how he doesn't have that little question in the back of his mind "is she cheating with someone"?? When she's "working late", "visiting her sister ", "going out with the girls", do I need to check and see if she's where she said she was and doing what she said she was. So my challenge is for you to write a story that will convince me and the other doubters that she will be faithful after cheating and there will never be any doubt that she will never cheat again. Trust would be for me the most difficult thing to get back. I hope some of you will take on this challenge. It should make for some interesting reading and lively commenting in the Loving Wives section.

 

[sirhugs]

This might be better posted on the Author's Hangout, where challenges are more welcomed.

I for one have no clue what RAAC or BTB even men. and I have written a number of Loving Wives stories...

 

[AlinaX]

Trust is a choice. Monogamy is a choice. Jealousy is a failing.

 

[FireFox59]

Jealousy???

Trust is a choice. Monogamy is a choice. Jealousy is a failing.

Explain what jealousy has to do with trust. My world is black and white. You either trust someone or you don't. You must be using the cheaters handbook of justifications with this answer.

 

[FireFox59]

This might be better posted on the Author's Hangout, where challenges are more welcomed.

I for one have no clue what RAAC or BTB even men. and I have written a number of Loving Wives stories...

RAAC = Reconciliation At All Costs

BTB = Burn The Bitch

 

[Bramblethorn]

Many of you RAAC writers like to complain about us BTB crowd when we comment on stories where the writer makes the husband a wimp and he's supposed to be the reason the wife cheated in the first place. Maybe he's working too much trying to support her and his family. He's not sending her flowers or cards every other day. He's not romancing her. He's not kissing her ass daily. Or she's just at that age were she just deserves a little strange cock for raising their children etc. etc. I understand slamming those that degrade the story writer and call them names. Usually the anonymous crowd. Totally get that and agree it's uncalled for. That said for most of these stories I have just one question...how do you ever completely trust the wife again??? I can't imagine how when she goes out of town how he doesn't have that little question in the back of his mind "is she cheating with someone"?? When she's "working late", "visiting her sister ", "going out with the girls", do I need to check and see if she's where she said she was and doing what she said she was. So my challenge is for you to write a story that will convince me and the other doubters that she will be faithful after cheating and there will never be any doubt that she will never cheat again. Trust would be for me the most difficult thing to get back. I hope some of you will take on this challenge. It should make for some interesting reading and lively commenting in the Loving Wives section.

This sounds less like a story idea and more like a complaint, TBH.

I had one partner who came close to cheating on me. It happened because she was feeling very isolated and lonely, and I hadn't been taking it seriously enough when she told me how miserable she was. Things came to a crisis point, she told me what had happened, I thought about it, and (vastly simplifying a complex situation) I worked to understand what was going on for her and we moved to be closer to friends and family so she didn't have to be so lonely, plus I made more effort to spend quality time with her. Easy to trust her because I understood what had taken her to that point and I was able to address the causes.

I had another partner who did cheat on me (it's complex but I'm comfortable in calling it cheating, even thugh it wasn't in a physical sense) because there was way too much going on in their life, they went into what in hindsight was probably autistic overload, and they got manipulated by an emotionally abusive person. That hurt like fuck, I was angry at my partner - I could see why they got overwhelmed, but that didn't mean I wasn't hurting badly - and our relationship didn't survive it. But we both put in the effort to mend the friendship, and I worked on forgiving my ex for screwing up at a time of great pressure. I'm not somebody who forgives easily, but I knew my ex was a good person, and eventually we got to the point where hearing from them brightens my day.

Relationships are hard, and assholes do exist, but IME most relationship drama comes from well-meaning people screwing up. It's easier to forgive somebody if you can think of their behaviour as mistakes and/or human frailty rather than malice or selfishness, and IME that's usually the case.

 

[Enchantment_of_Nyx]

It sounds like you've set up a scenario where the husband was always the victim even before the cheating. I see so much in your post that demands the status of the husband as the pure and unadulterated victim, with absolutely no contribution to whatever relationship problems led to the cheating. The wife you describe is equally unadulterated in her shallowness, vanity and selfishness. It's hard for me to imagine any story involving characters like that.

The motivations you suggest for cheating are also flat. Who cheats because their husband doesn't buy them flowers? Wouldn't a more reasonable motivation be feeling neglected or ignored? And who feels entitled to a strange cock because she reaches a certain age? Do you mean that she reaches a point in her life where she has changed in a way that no longer fits into a monogamous relationship?

The motivations you suggest don't support a story in my mind, but I do think they are a good window in to the feelings you're hinting at. Here's how I see it. When a partner cheats, blame and responsibility for that action rightly accrue to the partner who took the action. But, as painful as that betrayal is, it's a symptom of the problem. The problem has to be addressed. Whatever is going on in the relationship that made the other partner willing to jeopardize the relationship or left that partner with a need to look elsewhere has to be addressed.

There's rarely such a thing as a unilateral relationship problem. When there is a truly one-sided relationship problem, it's usually something that existed before the relationship began, and so the question becomes, why is the other partner no longer willing to deal the issue that's been there all along? What changed?

Nearly all relationship messes are the product of both people misunderstanding, or acting, or speaking in ways that contribute to the problem. Unless the cheated-on partner is able to get beyond the betrayal to assess the underlying relationship problems, nothing can be fixed. The same conditions that set the stage for cheating still exist.

Your premise is based on the cheating partner earning their way back into trust. Trust absolutely has to be earned, but your focus on it sounds more like a demand for penance than a road to repair of the relationship. I don't believe it's possible to skip the step of addressing the underlying problem, and then expect the partner who cheated to fix the relationship through penance.

The hard reality is that relationships are not always fair. People have to decide what their relationships are worth to them and how hard they're willing to work for them. I can't imagine a good story based on your premise because your premise doesn't hold. It can't work that way. What you're suggesting is that the alternative to Burn the Bitch is Rehabilitate the Bitch, with trust to be parceled out upon completion of whatever penance assures the cheated-on partner of their security.

It's pretty difficult to write a story based on characters and motivations that don't really hold true. I'm not sure what you would get out of such a story, either. It certainly wouldn't be a road map to anything productive, and it doesn't sound erotic at all, unless you're suggesting she can somehow fuck her way back to being trusted.

 

[AlinaX]

Explain what jealousy has to do with trust. My world is black and white. You either trust someone or you don't. You must be using the cheaters handbook of justifications with this answer.

I'm saying that maybe the husband really can't satisfy the wife. Perhaps he has a perfectly understandable aversion to literal ass-licking, something she adores and her lover delights in. Perhaps he simply isn't able to satisfy her in bed, and after years of frustration she has yielded to temptation...

Why demand that she retreat to that box again? If this is truly a relationship built on mutual love, and neither wishes a divorce, surely the answer is for the husband to be more open and forgiving.

But I repeat: Trust, like faith, is a choice. It isn't always rational.

 

[LupusDei]

Explain what jealousy has to do with trust. My world is black and white. You either trust someone or you don't. You must be using the cheaters handbook of justifications with this answer.

Absolutely everything. Person possessive and jealous on his own imagination is by definition unable to trust anybody.

And the situation you describe in first post isn't about reconciliation but about establishing toxic possessive relationship that cannot last.

Funny thing, in your own derisive voice you yourself established the universally known truth that her cheating is primarily his fault. Unless he can change the situation wouldn't change, and the two other options is either he has to accept her cheating occasionally or end the relationship.

Monogamy is mostly artificial construct. Funny thing, it is female who is evolutionary interested in lasting relationships, but it is men who most vocal about female cheating -- while often taking their own cheating for granted -- out of possessiveness aimed at insuring the children he's rising are indeed his.

People generally aren't rational and consciously knowing their needs, but needs they have. And the "mister right" who can fulfill all needs simultaneously is impossible. So, every successful relationship is a compromise, and compromise that need to be renegotiated everyday, perpetually. There's no finished states.

 

[sirhugs]

Why is this thread still active? It does not belong in this forum.

 

[Enchantment_of_Nyx]

Why is this thread still active? It does not belong in this forum.

It is an idea about a story to write. Regardless, why does it bother you so much if people reply to it?

 

[sirhugs]

It is an idea about a story to write. Regardless, why does it bother you so much if people reply to it?

read the forum rules.

 

[AlinaX]

read the forum rules.

I'm officially lost.

 

[Enchantment_of_Nyx]

read the forum rules.

I read the rules. I don't see anything that applies. What are you talking about?

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

By the way, there is a huge difference between reconciliation under sensible terms and RAAC. Just sayin'. What if the wife makes amends, looks the other way for a revenge fling for the man, or just agrees to an open marriage that will restore the man's freedom along with hers? Are those not good enough reasons to forgive her and reconcile, remembering the good that she did along with the bad?

I don't know about you guys, but even assuming for argument's sake that I agreed to monogamy per her request (never gonna happen, but okay) and she later cheated, if she were to agree to reconciliation on terms that I could embrace like opening up the marriage, I wouldn't throw away an otherwise great wife because she had a moment of human weakness. That doesn't make me a cuck. It just makes me a sensible enough guy not to throw the baby out with the bathwater.

I covered that under my old account with the Tear It Up series. It was a reconciliation, yes, but on the husband's terms. He wasn't a wimp. He just knew that he had a great wife who failed in one area and was desperate to make it up to him. He wasn't foolish enough to kick her to the curb under those conditions.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

By the way, much like Just Plain Bob, I've written both BTB and reconciliation stories. The latter usually make me feel less dirty inside, but sometimes the former prove necessary.

One of my favorite stories that I wrote that involved a cheating wife, he just up and left. No BTB, but no RAAC, either. He just fucking left and moved to Mexico. See ya, bitch! That was I Got Mexico under my old SEVERUSMAX account. Based on the Eddy Raven song, where the man just walks away with his dignity, no BTB, no RAAC. Just leaves.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

By the way, there is a huge difference between reconciliation under sensible terms and RAAC. Just sayin'. What if the wife makes amends, looks the other way for a revenge fling for the man, or just agrees to an open marriage that will restore the man's freedom along with hers? Are those not good enough reasons to forgive her and reconcile, remembering the good that she did along with the bad?

I don't know about you guys, but even assuming for argument's sake that I agreed to monogamy per her request (never gonna happen, but okay) and she later cheated, if she were to agree to reconciliation on terms that I could embrace like opening up the marriage, I wouldn't throw away an otherwise great wife because she had a moment of human weakness. That doesn't make me a cuck. It just makes me a sensible enough guy not to throw the baby out with the bathwater.

I covered that under my old account with the Tear It Up series. It was a reconciliation, yes, but on the husband's terms. He wasn't a wimp. He just knew that he had a great wife who failed in one area and was desperate to make it up to him. He wasn't foolish enough to kick her to the curb under those conditions.

I too have written both... all three types of LW stories. They all receive comments which are to say the least are interesting to read. My favorites of mine are those stories where there is no unconditional reconciliation. The husband sets the terms and the wife follows them or it the end.

I have one where the husband just uses her as a whore for his clients. Of course for Company events he has a work wife as all his clients would be there and he couldn't bring his real wife. The real wife even gave her consent so he could fuck his work wife on several night a week.