Interracial Love

[eveashland]

The truth is interracial relationships are hard. While the individuals in the relationship may not see or think about the color of their skin while in the throes of said relationship, there is a guarantee that those (many) they encounter— be it family or the cashier at a grocery story, will at some point take notice.

My goal is to highlight several perspectives as to why people find themselves in an interracial relationship. I would like to paint a candid picture that delves a bit deeper than ‘I don’t see color’.

I am interested in ALL ethnic and cultural perspectives when it comes to interracial dating.

Maybe you’ve always had an interest in a particular culture’s holiday ceremonies... You had a crush on your senior high school guidance counselor because he was kinder to you than your dad was, (specific, I know..), or maybe you just prefer the way her hair feels between your fingers...

Whether you have one reason or ten, I want to hear it all. All I ask is that you be respectful.

 

[sirhugs]

It never happened so far, but I always wanted to have a black girlfriend to shock my racist mother. Now she's so old that would just be....mean.

 

[Jada59]

I'm white. And I must say that overall, I son't usually notice people's skin color, unless it is quite unusual (for here) such as a deep blue/black. A lot of people who live in this area and a lot of my friends are mixed race. Or in mixed race marriages. I'm quite used to that. And I don't/can't sort them out by color.

I did get into an argument over this very thing on a community online group. I asked about an Indian Supermarket near here. Did they have fresh produce? A white woman told me that they did, but I should stay out of there because I am white. Long story short, she is married to an Indian man and in some way, it made her feel superior to me. Ha! I wound up making some new friends because of her. She kept arguing and arguing with me, trying to get me to see that I'm racist because all white people are racist. She didn't consider herself to be racist and yet she told me to stay out of that store because of my skin color.

My gardener is part Mexican, part Costa Rican and part Irish. I could not guess his race by looking at him but last name is Latino. As for his skin color, the parts of him that never see the sun are the exact same color/tone as the inside of my forearm. But the parts of him that are in the sun get quite dark and he never seems to burn.

My current guy and the last two are Latino. I remember finally meeting my current guy after being let out of lockdown. We'd been talking since April. The first thing he did was touch my arm and hand and comment on how beautiful my skin was. I thought this was an odd thing to focus on. He kept saying he had never been with a white woman before. Then again, throughout my life, people have commented on my skin. Even strangers. They tell me that I have a peaches and cream complexion.

But the other night I found myself doing the same thing to him. We were in bed, having sex, and moving around for a change of position. I noticed the moonlight coming through the window and where it touched his skin, torso and tummy, it shimmered like gold. So beautiful!

We have not had any problems so far with people making comments and such but then due to most places still not being open, we haven't gone too many places. My gardener wouldn't say anything. He's part Latino and his GF is white (German).

 

[Jada59]

It never happened so far, but I always wanted to have a black girlfriend to shock my racist mother. Now she's so old that would just be....mean.

My dad's greatest fear was that I was going to bring home a long haired hippie type. That never happened. Several of my guy friends were hippie types but didn't have the long hair.

My mom OTOH doe not seem to like black people and the reasons she gives make no sense. She tells me that they smell funny. This in regard to specific black man. She tells me to sniff them. They are always wearing cologne. Hmph. When I was born, we lived in the blak part of town, Wichita, because the rents were cheaper. My mom didn't interact with the neighbors. She was terrified of them. I have no clue where she got this from. Her parents were not like this at all.

She has also made the comment about some Latinos they smell bad. What they smell like is Maja soap. Not a bad smell to me, but a strong one,

 

[Enchantment_of_Nyx]

I posted a fairly detailed account of something related to this on another thread recently. https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=1525808

Despite the issue I related in that thread, I haven't found interracial relationships difficult from the stand point of the relationship itself. I'm happily married to someone of the same race now (White), but prior to settling down, there was no racial pattern to my relationships. You just meet who you meet, you know?

Every now and then, my Black partner at the time would say something that struck me as weird, but it generally was something so benign that I didn't think much of it. For example, "You cook like a White woman" apparently meant not enough pepper. It was meant to tease. A little weirder were the curiosity things like, "Is that what White women do? Black women do X." The only thing I remember making me specifically uncomfortable was "You're so soft. Black women are so hard." (Said during a make-out session. I really could have lived without that, and not just because he implied I was squishy!

Those were just little blips in the early stages of the relationship. Sure, we would get looks from people, but that didn't really have anything to do with they dynamics between us. The most dramatic thing that ever happened was a neighbor of his who trapped us in his driveway, pounding on the hood of his car and yelling at him about dating a White woman. She was Black and took issue with it, which I realize is not unique, but throwing the temper tantrum on the hood of the car was pretty outre. Still, not something that affected anything between him and I.

I dated a few Latinos, but only one of those relationships was serious. He'd make comments every now and again about how a Latina might react to something versus how I would react. Most of the time, he seemed to be thinking that he got off rather lightly for things he expected me to yell about. (I assume that at some point, he realized that he wasn't getting off the hook scot-free and the piper still had to be paid, even without yelling. Quite possibly, he told his next girlfriend how mean White women are for staying mad instead of yelling and getting it over with!) I did wonder if he had dated lots of White women to know this or if I was standing in for an entire race in his mind. But again, it just wasn't something that had a real impact on the relationship. I will say there was a lot less external hostility toward a Latino-White couple than a Black-White couple.

I dated an Indian guy briefly, and the funny thing about that was, nobody seemed to assume we were together. It wasn't a serious relationship, so there was no necessity of wading through the cultural issues we would have faced if we had wanted to get married.

I don't say this to negate or quibble with anyone else's experience, but for me, all the difficulties or pressures were external to the relationships and didn't cause tension or affect the dynamics within the relationship. It's hard for me to imagining thinking of one's partner in terms of race or any demographic on a daily basis. I think it's a lot like friends. Even if you're conscious at first of a racial or cultural difference, you stop thinking about it pretty soon because you know them as an individual, and race or culture just becomes part of the background of who they are.

I'm not sure this perspective is what you're looking for, but I hope it's helpful in some way.

 

[scorpiobabe]

Black cocks matter

https://gifcandy.net/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/gifcandy-interracial-58.gif
black IS beautiful

 

[sirhugs]

Let's try to stay on topic of Story Ideas, gang...

 

[DarkPleasures]

scorpiobabe, go back to the GB if you want porn.

 

[eveashland]

It never happened so far, but I always wanted to have a black girlfriend to shock my racist mother. Now she's so old that would just be....mean.

It was my experience that my grandfather (87y/o and black) was a lot more accepting than I had anticipated. My partner at the time made it clear that he wasn't going anywhere and they would often end up chatting for hours.

 

[Enchantment_of_Nyx]

Let's try to stay on topic of Story Ideas, gang...

With the exception of the porn spam, everything IS about someone's story idea. Not everyone wants the same kind of story.

 

[eveashland]

I posted a fairly detailed account of something related to this on another thread recently. https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=1525808

Despite the issue I related in that thread, I haven't found interracial relationships difficult from the stand point of the relationship itself. I'm happily married to someone of the same race now (White), but prior to settling down, there was no racial pattern to my relationships. You just meet who you meet, you know?

Every now and then, my Black partner at the time would say something that struck me as weird, but it generally was something so benign that I didn't think much of it. For example, "You cook like a White woman" apparently meant not enough pepper. It was meant to tease. A little weirder were the curiosity things like, "Is that what White women do? Black women do X." The only thing I remember making me specifically uncomfortable was "You're so soft. Black women are so hard." (Said during a make-out session. I really could have lived without that, and not just because he implied I was squishy!

Those were just little blips in the early stages of the relationship. Sure, we would get looks from people, but that didn't really have anything to do with they dynamics between us. The most dramatic thing that ever happened was a neighbor of his who trapped us in his driveway, pounding on the hood of his car and yelling at him about dating a White woman. She was Black and took issue with it, which I realize is not unique, but throwing the temper tantrum on the hood of the car was pretty outre. Still, not something that affected anything between him and I.

I dated a few Latinos, but only one of those relationships was serious. He'd make comments every now and again about how a Latina might react to something versus how I would react. Most of the time, he seemed to be thinking that he got off rather lightly for things he expected me to yell about. (I assume that at some point, he realized that he wasn't getting off the hook scot-free and the piper still had to be paid, even without yelling. Quite possibly, he told his next girlfriend how mean White women are for staying mad instead of yelling and getting it over with!) I did wonder if he had dated lots of White women to know this or if I was standing in for an entire race in his mind. But again, it just wasn't something that had a real impact on the relationship. I will say there was a lot less external hostility toward a Latino-White couple than a Black-White couple.

I dated an Indian guy briefly, and the funny thing about that was, nobody seemed to assume we were together. It wasn't a serious relationship, so there was no necessity of wading through the cultural issues we would have faced if we had wanted to get married.

I don't say this to negate or quibble with anyone else's experience, but for me, all the difficulties or pressures were external to the relationships and didn't cause tension or affect the dynamics within the relationship. It's hard for me to imagining thinking of one's partner in terms of race or any demographic on a daily basis. I think it's a lot like friends. Even if you're conscious at first of a racial or cultural difference, you stop thinking about it pretty soon because you know them as an individual, and race or culture just becomes part of the background of who they are.

I'm not sure this perspective is what you're looking for, but I hope it's helpful in some way.

No. This is very helpful, thank you.

I've found that it's pretty common that unless my partner and I hold hands, no one assumes that we're a couple.

Oh, and heaven forbid someone try to compare me to someone else in the middle of any sort of intimate time. It’s difficult not to take offense when someone’s ‘attracted’ to the exact opposite of what you are.

Cameron Diaz came up once in conversation and shifted my outlook on the whole relationship. At the time it made me wonder if I was just an experiment.

In college, I gained most of my friends (and those that remain) through the dormitories and shared living space. In couple of the groups that I was involved in I was the only black person in the group.

I took comfort in the warm welcomes (literally, often greeted like Norm at Cheers) as opposed to the looks of distaste I would get for simply having lunch with my dorm mates of other races and those I spent the most time with. In many cases I felt more accepted which ultimately led to my broad attraction.

 

[eveashland]

I'm white. And I must say that overall, I son't usually notice people's skin color, unless it is quite unusual (for here) such as a deep blue/black. A lot of people who live in this area and a lot of my friends are mixed race. Or in mixed race marriages. I'm quite used to that. And I don't/can't sort them out by color.

I did get into an argument over this very thing on a community online group. I asked about an Indian Supermarket near here. Did they have fresh produce? A white woman told me that they did, but I should stay out of there because I am white. Long story short, she is married to an Indian man and in some way, it made her feel superior to me. Ha! I wound up making some new friends because of her. She kept arguing and arguing with me, trying to get me to see that I'm racist because all white people are racist. She didn't consider herself to be racist and yet she told me to stay out of that store because of my skin color.

My gardener is part Mexican, part Costa Rican and part Irish. I could not guess his race by looking at him but last name is Latino. As for his skin color, the parts of him that never see the sun are the exact same color/tone as the inside of my forearm. But the parts of him that are in the sun get quite dark and he never seems to burn.

My current guy and the last two are Latino. I remember finally meeting my current guy after being let out of lockdown. We'd been talking since April. The first thing he did was touch my arm and hand and comment on how beautiful my skin was. I thought this was an odd thing to focus on. He kept saying he had never been with a white woman before. Then again, throughout my life, people have commented on my skin. Even strangers. They tell me that I have a peaches and cream complexion.

But the other night I found myself doing the same thing to him. We were in bed, having sex, and moving around for a change of position. I noticed the moonlight coming through the window and where it touched his skin, torso and tummy, it shimmered like gold. So beautiful!

We have not had any problems so far with people making comments and such but then due to most places still not being open, we haven't gone too many places. My gardener wouldn't say anything. He's part Latino and his GF is white (German).

It would be pretty awesome if we could frolic and be completely unbiased, regardless of our upbringing or interactions we have within the environments that we find ourselves in.

In some form or another, I think, we’re all a bit jaded (no pun) when it comes to race and culture. Either we’re inside of some sort of racial or cultural bubble or we find ourselves willing outside of those bubbles. But the bubble(s) is(are) always there. The whole world and most wars are controlled and fought over that very thing, yet we tiptoe around it on a daily basis. Probably without even realizing it.

 

[Enchantment_of_Nyx]

No. This is very helpful, thank you.

I've found that it's pretty common that unless my partner and I hold hands, no one assumes that we're a couple.

Oh, and heaven forbid someone try to compare me to someone else in the middle of any sort of intimate time. It’s difficult not to take offense when someone’s ‘attracted’ to the exact opposite of what you are.

Cameron Diaz came up once in conversation and shifted my outlook on the whole relationship. At the time it made me wonder if I was just an experiment.

In college, I gained most of my friends (and those that remain) through the dormitories and shared living space. In couple of the groups that I was involved in I was the only black person in the group.

I took comfort in the warm welcomes (literally, often greeted like Norm at Cheers) as opposed to the looks of distaste I would get for simply having lunch with my dorm mates of other races and those I spent the most time with. In many cases I felt more accepted which ultimately led to my broad attraction.

Yeah, I think people tend to make a lot of assumptions about why someone ends up with someone of another race. Sometimes the explanations are really very simple.

 

[SisterJezabel]

I think cultural differences are in many relationships. My partner is Portuguese South African and I'm Anglo-Aussie. We have lots of cultural differences- he lived in a predominantly black country as a white/olive minority and was forced to leave his homeland when he was unable to find work because of the Black Economic Empowerment laws. Whereas I grew up fighting against apartheid (and he is strongly anti apartheid too and proudly voted to end it) I can see different layers of privilege that he can't because of his experiences.

There's such a fine line in IR writing- is the contrast the skin colour or the culture? I have a good friend whose great great something grandfather came to Australia in the Gold Rush of the 1860s. My G-G-G grandparents came in the 1890s. She jokes that she should receive red envelopes every lunar new year, but also has a tough time with racism against her and marrying the cultural/DNA background she has with being a long-term Aussie.

The BBC trope of IR is almost what permeates everything, either that or Asians with tight pussies! It's great seeing some stories emerge that are fighting these tropes.

 

[eveashland]

Thank you for sharing this. Ironically, the history of apartheid is not often taught in the US. Then again the Holocaust is also missing from some schools.

I do think culture and the color of one’s skin do have a distinct correlation to each other but that varies from country to country and even regions of a single country. Ideally, as long as we’re pumping the same blood there shouldn’t be any complications, however, that's not the way things tend to work..

Someone also pointed out to me how difficult it is to incorporate relevant topics and details into interracial story without coming off ‘preachy’ or how the complete lack of it can make a story come off as fetishism. But who’s to say what the norm is?

Even if a couple shares the same skin color or cultural environment, personal desires-- whether informed or not, are still pretty subjective.

I think cultural differences are in many relationships. My partner is Portuguese South African and I'm Anglo-Aussie. We have lots of cultural differences- he lived in a predominantly black country as a white/olive minority and was forced to leave his homeland when he was unable to find work because of the Black Economic Empowerment laws. Whereas I grew up fighting against apartheid (and he is strongly anti apartheid too and proudly voted to end it) I can see different layers of privilege that he can't because of his experiences.

There's such a fine line in IR writing- is the contrast the skin colour or the culture? I have a good friend whose great great something grandfather came to Australia in the Gold Rush of the 1860s. My G-G-G grandparents came in the 1890s. She jokes that she should receive red envelopes every lunar new year, but also has a tough time with racism against her and marrying the cultural/DNA background she has with being a long-term Aussie.

The BBC trope of IR is almost what permeates everything, either that or Asians with tight pussies! It's great seeing some stories emerge that are fighting these tropes.

 

[wildp]

So is this thread a story idea or what?

 

[SisterJezabel]

So is this thread a story idea or what?

I actually whipped out a story I'm saving for the Summer Lovin' comp this week based on this thread!

 

[Arthur_Guy]

Honestly, back in my day (being a gen-x'er), race wasn't a big deal when it came to romantic relationships. My first wife was Asian, and her family accepted me based on the quality of my character, and not the color of my skin.

So, what is it that you are (exactly) positing?

 

[davion2308]

Culture

The hard part about inter-racial anything is that unless you highlight a specific stereotype (Black man has huge penis and fucks white woman who's white husband has small white penis), you don't see a huge difference in characters.

I'm not one of these "I don't see color." I see skin color and acknowledge everyone has different experiences due to their race. But getting past that, people are just people. Black people can be nice, mean, or indifferent. White people can be nice, mean, or indifferent. Asian people ... Australians ... Africans ... Brazilians ...

You'll have to bring the cultural differences into the front of the story and early to set up what the conflict might be, if any. For a story, if that's what you're trying to write, it would be the two people learning about each other's cultures and understanding the family expectations, the differences between them, and so on.

 

[Enchantment_of_Nyx]

This was originally posted around the same time as another similar post. It was clear from the two of them together that the OP is writing a story about an interracial relationship (or relationships) and wanted the perspective of those who had been involved in them. I don't think this is a stereotype discussion or a discussion on how we view race, so much as it is a request for perspectives on how race has affected the dynamics of relationships people have experienced.

 

[eveashland]

Agreed

Thank you for sharing this. I like to think that we're getting back to that with all the multicultural representation that we're seeing on television these days.

I've been reading a lot more erotic novels recently and the 'black and white' genre is so popular that people are not even trying to do it well anymore. I think there could or should be more of a niche to incorporate other cultures. But I'm also wise enough to know that I'm only able to effectively write what I know.

Honestly, back in my day (being a gen-x'er), race wasn't a big deal when it came to romantic relationships. My first wife was Asian, and her family accepted me based on the quality of my character, and not the color of my skin.

So, what is it that you are (exactly) positing?

 

[eveashland]

Thank you

Right on point, thank you.

This was originally posted around the same time as another similar post. It was clear from the two of them together that the OP is writing a story about an interracial relationship (or relationships) and wanted the perspective of those who had been involved in them. I don't think this is a stereotype discussion or a discussion on how we view race, so much as it is a request for perspectives on how race has affected the dynamics of relationships people have experienced.

 

[eveashland]

The Key

I've been going through a ton of digital books lately and I'd say only about ten percent have been worthy of exceeding the 20% mark. Sometimes I think books and stories focus entirely too much on their difference rather than the commonalities, morals and respect that tend to make for a successful relationship.

In my experience, real life relationships rely on being able to communicate and laugh with/at one another. Families (can) learn tolerance, hopefully.. but in the end, that comes back to the matter treating others with respect.

The hard part about inter-racial anything is that unless you highlight a specific stereotype (Black man has huge penis and fucks white woman who's white husband has small white penis), you don't see a huge difference in characters.

I'm not one of these "I don't see color." I see skin color and acknowledge everyone has different experiences due to their race. But getting past that, people are just people. Black people can be nice, mean, or indifferent. White people can be nice, mean, or indifferent. Asian people ... Australians ... Africans ... Brazilians ...

You'll have to bring the cultural differences into the front of the story and early to set up what the conflict might be, if any. For a story, if that's what you're trying to write, it would be the two people learning about each other's cultures and understanding the family expectations, the differences between them, and so on.

 

[MassiveGiantBrain]

Who really cares?

I am "white" and my wife is part native american. Her grandmother on her dad's side is a little more than half native american but my wife has a native american look that many think is Asian when they first meet her. It has had zero effect on our life together.

I really don't think many people care at all about skin color. The political element keep stirring up racial issues because they want to fool people into thinking that they alone care about people of color. I have even been accused of being a racist and so has my wife just because we don't buy into liberal bullshit. They toss the term racist around as much as they can. They choose to weaponize race and try to create division.

Really, most of us don't care at all about color. We are far more concerned about the content of character in a person than the color of their skin.

 

[DarkPleasures]

So is this thread a story idea or what?

Great question. When I ask (in various threads) I get labeled a bitch.