Litiquette VII

[Daisy_Love]

Nah. I kinda like the feeling.

I’m choking on my drink Orchi

 

[Orchidea73]

I’m choking on my drink Orchi

Well, it is better than the desert of Sahara.

 

[default24]

Well, it is better than the desert of Sahara.

That makes me think of the picture hotwords just posted of an advert implying that guy's dick was so long that it drags in the sand on the beach. Which just struck me as being sooooo uncomfortable

 

[hotwords229_A]

That makes me think of the picture hotwords just posted of an advert implying that guy's dick was so long that it drags in the sand on the beach. Which just struck me as being sooooo uncomfortable

Hot sand on your feet is bad enough . . .

 

[SMNaughtywife]

I’m like triple land locked from any sort of body of water, good gravy.
Maybe that’s why my Swedish/Swiss sassy self loves the snow and mountains.

Ok, this beach stuff. Yeah I’ve been to a few.
Between the warm dirty bathtub water of the gulf. *waves to the oil tankers* gross.
Calif and viciously attacked by sea weed all over my legs! Freaky.
Florida, why is there so much sea weed on the beach? Do I need to bring a rake with me to clear a spot on the sand?
Private beach off by the Bahamas was beautiful.
Bondi and Manly Beach in Australia: mind blowing. The ocean the color of jade. Fine white sand. Snorkeling and surfing. One morning the beach was covered in blue jellyfish. All over! I would of been lunch for them all a few hours earlier. Yikes!

I don’t know, seems like going to the beach is like a people watching extravaganza. You can’t really swim, more like going in to cool off. My red hair, fair skinned, two million freckles self needs sunscreen. Lots of it. An umbrella. What else? I’m not sure how long I’d last laying around before I’d go bat shit bored.

Hawaii, I can do that. Beach and mountains. Add in a ride up to the top of a volcano.
Next February?
Sex on the beach, never have. I’ll see about changing that up next month.

 

[Trekka]

It's even worse than that. Delaware

Delaware?!

 

[hotwords229_A]

I’m like triple land locked from any sort of body of water, good gravy.
Maybe that’s why my Swedish/Swiss sassy self loves the snow and mountains.

Ok, this beach stuff. Yeah I’ve been to a few.
Between the warm dirty bathtub water of the gulf. *waves to the oil tankers* gross.
Calif and viciously attacked by sea weed all over my legs! Freaky.
Florida, why is there so much sea weed on the beach? Do I need to bring a rake with me to clear a spot on the sand?
Private beach off by the Bahamas was beautiful.
Bondi and Manly Beach in Australia: mind blowing. The ocean the color of jade. Fine white sand. Snorkeling and surfing. One morning the beach was covered in blue jellyfish. All over! I would of been lunch for them all a few hours earlier. Yikes!

I don’t know, seems like going to the beach is like a people watching extravaganza. You can’t really swim, more like going in to cool off. My red hair, fair skinned, two million freckles self needs sunscreen. Lots of it. An umbrella. What else? I’m not sure how long I’d last laying around before I’d go bat shit bored.

Hawaii, I can do that. Beach and mountains. Add in a ride up to the top of a volcano.
Next February?
Sex on the beach, never have. I’ll see about changing that up next month.

In a way, isn’t being bored part of the reason we go? It’s calm and quiet (even when it’s loud) you’re surrounded by people, but you feel like you’re all alone. It’s warm and relaxing—perfect for a nap.

Plus, you can make boobs made out of sand really easily.

 

[default24]

I’m like triple land locked from any sort of body of water, good gravy.
Maybe that’s why my Swedish/Swiss sassy self loves the snow and mountains.

Ok, this beach stuff. Yeah I’ve been to a few.
Between the warm dirty bathtub water of the gulf. *waves to the oil tankers* gross.
Calif and viciously attacked by sea weed all over my legs! Freaky.
Florida, why is there so much sea weed on the beach? Do I need to bring a rake with me to clear a spot on the sand?
Private beach off by the Bahamas was beautiful.
Bondi and Manly Beach in Australia: mind blowing. The ocean the color of jade. Fine white sand. Snorkeling and surfing. One morning the beach was covered in blue jellyfish. All over! I would of been lunch for them all a few hours earlier. Yikes!

I don’t know, seems like going to the beach is like a people watching extravaganza. You can’t really swim, more like going in to cool off. My red hair, fair skinned, two million freckles self needs sunscreen. Lots of it. An umbrella. What else? I’m not sure how long I’d last laying around before I’d go bat shit bored.

Hawaii, I can do that. Beach and mountains. Add in a ride up to the top of a volcano.
Next February?
Sex on the beach, never have. I’ll see about changing that up next month.

I've been to most of those places! I didn't love the beach in Hawaii, but it wasn't bad, just unremarkable. Australia, we did snorkeling on the Great Barrier Reef. The Bahamas was awesome, didn't do private beach, but it was November and the weather was just perfect.

Delaware?!

Oh yeahhhhhhhhh. Isn't that where everyone wants to go to the beach?

 

[Trekka]

I’m like triple land locked from any sort of body of water, good gravy.
Maybe that’s why my Swedish/Swiss sassy self loves the snow and mountains.

Ok, this beach stuff. Yeah I’ve been to a few.
Between the warm dirty bathtub water of the gulf. *waves to the oil tankers* gross.
Calif and viciously attacked by sea weed all over my legs! Freaky.
Florida, why is there so much sea weed on the beach? Do I need to bring a rake with me to clear a spot on the sand?
Private beach off by the Bahamas was beautiful.
Bondi and Manly Beach in Australia: mind blowing. The ocean the color of jade. Fine white sand. Snorkeling and surfing. One morning the beach was covered in blue jellyfish. All over! I would of been lunch for them all a few hours earlier. Yikes!

I don’t know, seems like going to the beach is like a people watching extravaganza. You can’t really swim, more like going in to cool off. My red hair, fair skinned, two million freckles self needs sunscreen. Lots of it. An umbrella. What else? I’m not sure how long I’d last laying around before I’d go bat shit bored.

Hawaii, I can do that. Beach and mountains. Add in a ride up to the top of a volcano.
Next February?
Sex on the beach, never have. I’ll see about changing that up next month.

oh boy. i can see i've got my work cut out for me.

Oh yeahhhhhhhhh. Isn't that where everyone wants to go to the beach?

i'm still confused.

 

[default24]

i'm still confused.

You're the most adorable thing
beaches

 

[SMNaughtywife]

In a way, isn’t being bored part of the reason we go? It’s calm and quiet (even when it’s loud) you’re surrounded by people, but you feel like you’re all alone. It’s warm and relaxing—perfect for a nap.

Plus, you can make boobs made out of sand really easily.

I’m not sure about being lazy in the hot sun.
But maybe it’s different when the kids are with and you’re constantly on the watch.

How about a 14 mile hike to a glacier lake? That’s when you feel alone. Well, and like a bears lunch!

 

[hotwords229_A]

i'm still confused.

You're the most adorable thing
beaches

But no nude beaches, so what’s the point?

I’m not sure about being lazy in the hot sun.
But maybe it’s different when the kids are with and you’re constantly on the watch.

How about a 14 mile hike to a glacier lake? That’s when you feel alone. Well, and like a bears lunch!

14 miles running from a bear? I’ll meet you on the beach. I promise, you won’t be bored

 

[Trekka]

You're the most adorable thing
beaches

i literally scratched my head while i looked at that.

I’m not sure about being lazy in the hot sun.
But maybe it’s different when the kids are with and you’re constantly on the watch.

alright missy.
this is a hot mess.

i want you outside, base tan, fifteen minutes on day one, increase by five minutes every day for the next *checks calendar* 29 days.

while you're laying there, doing nothing, put some earbuds in, play ocean sounds, close your eyes, and practice enjoying the feel of the breeze on your skin, the prickly warmth of the sun as it pops out your freckles.

say "ommmm" if you have to.

if you can't do this, you've left me no option but to drop you off at the mall!

you won't get eaten by anything except maybe some mosquitoes in my backyard. and you know the neurotic girls like me, we check beach conditions before we go? low tide + easterly wind = seaweed. amongst other factors. nerd stuff. don't worry your pretty little head about it.

and sex on the beach, done properly, requires a maxi dress, and a billowy shoulder wrap. pro tip.

 

[SMNaughtywife]

oh boy. i can see i've got my work cut out for me.

Slaps your cheeky ass.
Five days vacation with you, beach and the Viking applying our sunscreen. I’ll be just fine.
Mmmhmmm....

 

[85Ironman]

Ok, this beach stuff. Yeah I’ve been to a few.
Between the warm dirty bathtub water of the gulf. *waves to the oil tankers* gross.
Calif and viciously attacked by sea weed all over my legs! Freaky.
Florida, why is there so much sea weed on the beach? Do I need to bring a rake with me to clear a spot on the sand?
Private beach off by the Bahamas was beautiful.
Bondi and Manly Beach in Australia: mind blowing. The ocean the color of jade. Fine white sand. Snorkeling and surfing. One morning the beach was covered in blue jellyfish. All over! I would of been lunch for them all a few hours earlier. Yikes!

I don’t know, seems like going to the beach is like a people watching extravaganza. You can’t really swim, more like going in to cool off. My red hair, fair skinned, two million freckles self needs sunscreen. Lots of it. An umbrella. What else? I’m not sure how long I’d last laying around before I’d go bat shit bored.

Hawaii, I can do that. Beach and mountains. Add in a ride up to the top of a volcano.
Next February?
Sex on the beach, never have. I’ll see about changing that up next month.

You're missing the point. Beach = surfing. Beach = waves.
Sex on the beach? Mind the chafing. Otherwise: .

 

[SMNaughtywife]

i literally scratched my head while i looked at that.



alright missy.
this is a hot mess.

i want you outside, base tan, fifteen minutes on day one, increase by five minutes every day for the next *checks calendar* 29 days.

while you're laying there, doing nothing, put some earbuds in, play ocean sounds, close your eyes, and practice enjoying the feel of the breeze on your skin, the prickly warmth of the sun as it pops out your freckles.

say "ommmm" if you have to.

if you can't do this, you've left me no option but to drop you off at the mall!

you won't get eaten by anything except maybe some mosquitoes in my backyard. and you know the neurotic girls like me, we check beach conditions before we go? low tide + easterly wind = seaweed. amongst other factors. nerd stuff. don't worry your pretty little head about it.

and sex on the beach, done properly, requires a maxi dress, and a billowy shoulder wrap. pro tip.

Damn, and you say I’m bossy!
Okay. I’ve got this.
Swimming suit is out for tomorrow.
And yup on the dresses.
29 days.
Ahhhhh....

 

[hotwords229_A]

Damn, and you say I’m bossy!
Okay. I’ve got this.
Swimming suit is out for tomorrow.
And yup on the dresses.
29 days.
Ahhhhh....

When you say your swimsuit is out for tomorrow, do you mean you won’t be wearing one tomorrow?

 

[SMNaughtywife]

You're missing the point. Beach = surfing. Beach = waves.
Sex on the beach? Mind the chafing. Otherwise: .

What about sex in the water, still an issue with chafing?
Under that board walk thing?
Maybe I need a boogie board.

 

[85Ironman]

What about sex in the water, still an issue with chafing?
Under that board walk thing?
Maybe I need a boogie board.

If it's salt water, yes.
Boogie boards are strongly encouraged.

 

[SMNaughtywife]

When you say your swimsuit is out for tomorrow, do you mean you won’t be wearing one tomorrow?

Well, it’s filthy Friday ya know.
Topless in the backyard and bikini bottoms only.
Not a bad idea.

 

[Trekka]

What about sex in the water, still an issue with chafing?
Under that board walk thing?
Maybe I need a boogie board.

Yes, I am bossy!
Who's cracking the whip now?

Sex in the water is challenging. That's advanced beach stuff.

Sex on the beach at night is good but the protocol is strict for max enjoyment: Wear a skirt and sit on his lap.

or

Bring two big blankets, and meet me between them. Also in a skirt.

 

[85Ironman]

Yes, I am bossy!
Who's cracking the whip now?

Sex in the water is challenging. That's advanced beach stuff.

Sex on the beach at night is good but the protocol is strict for max enjoyment: Wear a skirt and sit on his lap.

or

Bring two big blankets, and meet me between them. Also in a skirt.

These are pro tips. Skirts and blankets reduce chafing by orders if magnitude.

 

[Trekka]

These are pro tips. Skirts and blankets reduce chafing by orders if magnitude.

And no panties

 

[SMNaughtywife]

These are pro tips. Skirts and blankets reduce chafing by orders if magnitude.

Look at all these tips and tricks.
Hot damn. Someone’s been shagging on the beach a time or two.

 

[Trekka]

Look at all these tips and tricks.
Hot damn. Someone’s been shagging on the beach a time or two.

Once or twice.

Ooooh now I've got an itch to scratch...