Affirmative Domination

[Master_Doctor]

Someone I know wanted to start a discussion on this subject. So I decided to start it with its own thread. So first the definition of affirmative domination and my personal take on it.

"For those who aren't aware (which included Eloquent_Heonist [the OP] until recently) affirmative domination is a D/s dynamic with an emphasis on pride and affirmation of the sub rather than degradation or humiliation (this is not to denounce these elements as viable kinks of course). The dynamic is characterized by dominants wanting to cultivate and better their subs in the act of serving them, whilst also showing off their submissive to other dominants/submissives. The subs role is largely unchanged, but includes elements of wanting to be showed off/positively reflect their dominant.

What do people think about this dynamic, both as a consistent paradigm or sprinkled into their D/s interactions. I would love to hear from both dominants and submissives about this topic. As always all perspectives are welcome.

So my take:

Let me start by saying at my core this is what I do as a Dominant. In almost every M/s, D/s dynamic ive ever had. I put a lot of energy into helping my Sub(s) to improve themselves, most especially their self esteem. I help them to see themselves as beautiful women who have value. Inestimable value in fact. I help them to understand that they are treasured by me. That no price could ever be put on the value of them and their service to me.

Now this is where I completely derail the train of thought. This being said. This doesnt take away from the aspects of humiliation (I dont as a rule degrade a person. There are totally different concepts that are often mistaken for similar.). Humiliation is in the eye of the beholder and the subject. Some going into public merely without underwear under their clothing is humiliation. Where others need to be taken to much higher levels to feel the tingle of humiliation. I submit to you that a sub can and very often may have the duality of needing and craving both aspects. If the sub enjoys and is aroused by humiliation play. I often incorporate both. Some would insist that using humiliation disrupts the "Affirmative Domination" dynamic.

I submit this, from experience, not merely concept. That if your submissive is firm in their belief that you value them and want to meet all their needs and desires... and that their safety is all important to you... they free themselves to enjoy such things as humiliation. (again, only if its something that appeals to them).

An example of the duality of both. I dress up my submissive to the nines. We walk arm in arm into a BDSM party or Dungeon. She is made up, Sexy dress, stockings high heels. Heads turn. She isnt wearing underwear. In her mind she knows that there is no one in that room for me but her. She knows I would go to any lengths to protect her. She feels that everyone in the room knows that she isnt wearing anything under that sexy dress... even though most have no clue. She knows that she is my treasure. My most adored and sexy submissive. She wants to show everyone else this. She feels pride that her Master is showing her off. She feels as if she is the princess in the room. She is excited and her heart beats fast. In a dungeon I may even remove her dress and bind her to a cross for public play. She smiles and only sees my eyes... because she knows she is beyond worth to me. She feels all the eyes on the room on her. She feels pride in that humiliation because she knows that many women are in envy of her and her Master and many men wish they could be in her Master's shoes right now. In the end it all works to increase her enjoyment of the scene... and I havent even touched her yet.

Im proud to say ive helped submissives through the years feel this duality. Most people have one or more. Attributes that seem almost opposites but mesh together for the individual.

I hope my information has been of use.

Master Doctor

 

[Eloquent_Hedonist]

Thanks for taking the topic and running with it MD. I appreciate hearing your perspective.

In my limited experience, it appears that AD is a more common trait of MD/fs relationships than FD/ms, where in the latter there is often a subtext of being unworthy/lesser than the dominant.

In terms of humiliation I agree that it can be a complimentary aspect. I guess in this example I was only considering humiliation being used between the two parties rather than between the submissive and third parties/external viewers.

To any submissives looking to weigh in, is this a dynamic that appeals to you? Having a dominant treat you like a prized possession? Still owned, but prized and flaunted rather than just used (please don't misunderstand, I'm not suggesting that the latter is negative of course, I don't mind being used on occasion).

Looking forward to hearing more perspectives.

EH

 

[Mastrbull]

Yup

I have been at this since dirt was young and I agree with every word you said.

Subs..
If a Dom starts with a bunch of humiliation fantasies and a list of punishments they want to try run for the hills. It's all about giving her a way to be her and glorying in what she can become.

 

[sherbetburps]

To any submissives looking to weigh in, is this a dynamic that appeals to you? Having a dominant treat you like a prized possession? Still owned, but prized and flaunted rather than just used (please don't misunderstand, I'm not suggesting that the latter is negative of course, I don't mind being used on occasion).

Looking forward to hearing more perspectives.

EH

Just want to weigh in with a resounding yes.

 

[KimGordon67]

To be absolutely honest, I would find this sort of thing more ... well, not humiliating, but definitely much less my thing than actual humiliation. (And I'm totally not into being humiliated at all, so I'm sort of interested that this thread seems predicated on the idea that a relationship with a d/s dynamic has only those two options.) The idea that my partner would want to 'cultivate and better' me is not something I would enjoy.
For me, submitting to someone is very much rooted in my own strength. I'm giving them something that I already have - they aren't 'creating' it within me.

But that's just me.

 

[sherbetburps]

To be absolutely honest, I would find this sort of thing more ... well, not humiliating, but definitely much less my thing than actual humiliation. (And I'm totally not into being humiliated at all, so I'm sort of interested that this thread seems predicated on the idea that a relationship with a d/s dynamic has only those two options.) The idea that my partner would want to 'cultivate and better' me is not something I would enjoy.
For me, submitting to someone is very much rooted in my own strength. I'm giving them something that I already have - they aren't 'creating' it within me.

But that's just me.

I’ve gotta say...totally agree with you about this.

“The idea that my partner would want to 'cultivate and better' me is not something I would enjoy.
For me, submitting to someone is very much rooted in my own strength. I'm giving them something that I already have - they aren't 'creating' it within me.”

You worded it so perfectly. (Still want to be treated like I’m cherished, though)

 

[Eloquent_Hedonist]

Just want to weigh in with a resounding yes.

Good to see I'm not the only one SB

 

[Eloquent_Hedonist]

To be absolutely honest, I would find this sort of thing more ... well, not humiliating, but definitely much less my thing than actual humiliation. (And I'm totally not into being humiliated at all, so I'm sort of interested that this thread seems predicated on the idea that a relationship with a d/s dynamic has only those two options.) The idea that my partner would want to 'cultivate and better' me is not something I would enjoy.
For me, submitting to someone is very much rooted in my own strength. I'm giving them something that I already have - they aren't 'creating' it within me.

But that's just me.

I agree Kim, and I think my original post may have presented a false dichotomy. To be honest my initial query was more about the interactions between the dominant and the submissive. For example, based on my admittedly limited experience, many FD/ms relationships are based on the notion that the sub is lesser/unworthy to the dominant. This seems, based on the responses I've received, less common with DM/fs relationships where affirmative domination dynamic techniques seem to be more common.

Of course most D/s relationships will have elements of these two conceptualisations, I was just curious about the thoughts of both dominants and submissives who prefer AD as the predominant or base dynamic for their interactions.

Of course my assumptions could be way off base. Keen to hear more!

EH

 

[Master_Doctor]

To be absolutely honest, I would find this sort of thing more ... well, not humiliating, but definitely much less my thing than actual humiliation. (And I'm totally not into being humiliated at all, so I'm sort of interested that this thread seems predicated on the idea that a relationship with a d/s dynamic has only those two options.) The idea that my partner would want to 'cultivate and better' me is not something I would enjoy.
For me, submitting to someone is very much rooted in my own strength. I'm giving them something that I already have - they aren't 'creating' it within me.

But that's just me.

1) Dont think about it as needing to improve you as much as being completely supportive of you in your goals and desires in life.

2) Not all submissives have a high self esteem. IMO all would be better off if they were reminded often that they are beautiful and valued. That attitude seems not to happen very often regardless of the dynamic. Vanilla or Lifestyle.

Speaking for myself, I gravitate to intelligent women and very capable. Im not in the least bit suggesting that any of my precious sub/slaves were not very capable without my influence.

 

[KimGordon67]

I agree Kim, and I think my original post may have presented a false dichotomy. To be honest my initial query was more about the interactions between the dominant and the submissive. For example, based on my admittedly limited experience, many FD/ms relationships are based on the notion that the sub is lesser/unworthy to the dominant. This seems, based on the responses I've received, less common with DM/fs relationships where affirmative domination dynamic techniques seem to be more common.

Of course most D/s relationships will have elements of these two conceptualisations, I was just curious about the thoughts of both dominants and submissives who prefer AD as the predominant or base dynamic for their interactions.

Of course my assumptions could be way off base. Keen to hear more!

EH

Hmmm ... interesting. I hadn't thought about the gender difference, but I can see your point. [*Pauses while thinking.*] I think it's maybe in least in part because the md/fs dynamic fits more within gender norms, where to move to a fd/ms dynamic, it's a little more a twist for all involved, not so much a hyper-extension of pre-existent norms.
Also, in my d/s relationship (where I'm more on the s side) there's been a really emotionally vulnerable aspect that I think is maybe easier for women to get to than men, just because of social conditioning, whereas it's easier to men to shift into the 'protective' role that's the flip side of that vulnerability.
There's also physical elements that don't work the other way ... like, there's very little point me even pretending I can manhandle a guy into whatever position I want him, because I just can't.
So all that ... the normative positioning of men as 'dominant', the relative easy with which women can be emotionally vulnerable, and the unavoidable physical differences maybe means that gendered dynamic in a md/fs context has to be shifted somehow to something 'else' ... and I guess often that easiest 'something else' is based around something that looks like humiliation.
Obviously I'm not saying this is always the case, but I can see how it works like that a lot of the time. Maybe.

 

[Eloquent_Hedonist]

That's an good point about gender norms Kim, and interesting if you flip it around. I'm thinking about the 'vanilla' relationships I've had and trying to think of how much affirmation was given to me in those... interesting indeed.

I thoroughly agree about the notion of emotional vulnerability, coming from a very 'man up' sort of background. Although when it comes to the relationship of this factor to AD I'd be curious to know how you think the two are linked

To be honest the physical element of being dominated is something I don't often consider. I guess this is because my personal preference is towards willing/eager submission rather than a resistant/reluctant dynamic (consented obviously in all cases, but I understand there are those who enjoy the notion of being 'forced' into some things). When it comes to AD femdom I think physicality would definitely play a role, with the dominant seeking and cultivating a 'prime physical specimen' for want of a better term.

I like the conclusion you draw regarding this, and I think this element of 'else' is a reason why AD femdom could be considered as underutilised. This may just be my upbringing but I don't equate masculinity with a lot of external positive reinforcement/affirmation, instead more of an expectation to always compare/compete with peers and never to lose. So for me in a submissive role having this element feels very much else, while humiliation/degradation feels more depressingly resonant.

Thanks again for sharing your viewpoint Kim!

EH

 

[KimGordon67]

That's an good point about gender norms Kim, and interesting if you flip it around. I'm thinking about the 'vanilla' relationships I've had and trying to think of how much affirmation was given to me in those... interesting indeed.

I thoroughly agree about the notion of emotional vulnerability, coming from a very 'man up' sort of background. Although when it comes to the relationship of this factor to AD I'd be curious to know how you think the two are linked

To be honest the physical element of being dominated is something I don't often consider. I guess this is because my personal preference is towards willing/eager submission rather than a resistant/reluctant dynamic (consented obviously in all cases, but I understand there are those who enjoy the notion of being 'forced' into some things). When it comes to AD femdom I think physicality would definitely play a role, with the dominant seeking and cultivating a 'prime physical specimen' for want of a better term.

I like the conclusion you draw regarding this, and I think this element of 'else' is a reason why AD femdom could be considered as underutilised. This may just be my upbringing but I don't equate masculinity with a lot of external positive reinforcement/affirmation, instead more of an expectation to always compare/compete with peers and never to lose. So for me in a submissive role having this element feels very much else, while humiliation/degradation feels more depressingly resonant.

Thanks again for sharing your viewpoint Kim!

EH

I tend towards a fairly physical submission - and I like pain. And this almost always has an element of drop to it - the release that comes from a sustained bout of pain-inflecting activity is quite emotional. Well, in my experience anyway. And leaves you pretty raw - different people need different things as a result, but I very much need to be wrapped up and looked after.

I'm not really sure where I"m going with this ... I may need to come back to this later.

 

[Eloquent_Hedonist]

I tend towards a fairly physical submission - and I like pain. And this almost always has an element of drop to it - the release that comes from a sustained bout of pain-inflecting activity is quite emotional. Well, in my experience anyway. And leaves you pretty raw - different people need different things as a result, but I very much need to be wrapped up and looked after.

I'm not really sure where I"m going with this ... I may need to come back to this later.

I'm not well experienced in pain play (currently a soft limit) so it's interesting to hear about the complimentary element of nurturing after pain play!

Well it was very understandable keen to hear if you have more thoughts though!

 

[KimGordon67]

I'm not well experienced in pain play (currently a soft limit) so it's interesting to hear about the complimentary element of nurturing after pain play!

Well it was very understandable keen to hear if you have more thoughts though!

To state the blindingly obvious, I think the pain thing only works if you like pain - I have no idea why some people do and others don't, but I've always been in the 'do' category, even before I discovered my enjoyment of a d/s dynamic. And that segued into the general 'rough sex' area. For me, I think part of the attraction is starting from a position of power, and either ceding some of that to the other person, or having it 'taken' with some force (although of course that's also always consensual). And then being pushed a little further than is maybe comfortable ... it's a funny headspace, but as well as the physical sensation, there's a mental aspect to seeing how much you can handle, or how far you can be pushed. So in THAT component, there's maybe an aspect of 'affirmation', in that the person on the d side of the equation is part of that process.

And for me, that sort of thing always comes with a drop at the end. I quite often cum straight after what is happening stops, and then just drop, and need a fair amount of looking after. For the right guy, I think that part is just as pleasurable as the rest of it. Well, maybe not just as pleasurable, but certainly an integral part of it all.

I'm not sure if I'm making much sense. It seems clear in my head.

 

[DaisychainNZ]

This is an interesting thread to stumble across.

I had never heard of affirmative domination until I read this, thank you for teaching me something new Master Doctor. Although I hadn't heard of the label, I always look for a Dominant who has this as an overarching style of communication, or love language.

For me it's about feeling owned, valued, cherished, cared for and protected as well as being raised up/ supported to be the best person I can be. For me this forms the foundation for me to submit and to serve.

Although it's kinda hot, I don't relate massively to the kink party/ dungeon scene, mostly because that is outside of my experiences with all of my D/s taking place in private.

I do relate to wanting to be seen to be seen as his cherished possession, I just struggle to find ways to do that within the bounds of maintaining my privacy so I have complex thoughts around serving him publicly, yes, it's HOT but coming from a small community I tend to leave that to fantasy.
I do love to serve him by going out into the world and being the best version of myself I can be, for him. When I am speaking to a D at the start one of the things I look for within myself is a desire to lift my game in my everyday life, when I feel that desire to please him by doing fairly mundane things in my own life with slightly more care and attention, it's a a really positive sign for me that he is bringing this out in me.

Around humiliation, I enjoy what I would describe as light teasing humiliation. When he takes me from being a fairly together, sensible person to being something else entirely ( hopefully your imaginations can fill in the blanks here ) and he enjoys teasing me about that, it's a lot of fun and super hot. I really enjoy having the those two feelings mingling together, feeling valued and cherished as well as him being entertained by how desperately needy for HIM I have become or the things I might be willing to do to serve/ please him.

So I guess for me it's about that overarching tone from the D, one of care and being valued that creates a safe place for me to really let go and be his, serving him as he sees fit. ( within the agreed terms for mutual satisfaction).

 

[MatureChattyMann]

This is an interesting thread to stumble across.

I had never heard of affirmative domination until I read this, thank you for teaching me something new Master Doctor. Although I hadn't heard of the label, I always look for a Dominant who has this as an overarching style of communication, or love language.

For me it's about feeling owned, valued, cherished, cared for and protected as well as being raised up/ supported to be the best person I can be. For me this forms the foundation for me to submit and to serve.

Although it's kinda hot, I don't relate massively to the kink party/ dungeon scene, mostly because that is outside of my experiences with all of my D/s taking place in private.

I do relate to wanting to be seen to be seen as his cherished possession, I just struggle to find ways to do that within the bounds of maintaining my privacy so I have complex thoughts around serving him publicly, yes, it's HOT but coming from a small community I tend to leave that to fantasy.
I do love to serve him by going out into the world and being the best version of myself I can be, for him. When I am speaking to a D at the start one of the things I look for within myself is a desire to lift my game in my everyday life, when I feel that desire to please him by doing fairly mundane things in my own life with slightly more care and attention, it's a a really positive sign for me that he is bringing this out in me.

Around humiliation, I enjoy what I would describe as light teasing humiliation. When he takes me from being a fairly together, sensible person to being something else entirely ( hopefully your imaginations can fill in the blanks here ) and he enjoys teasing me about that, it's a lot of fun and super hot. I really enjoy having the those two feelings mingling together, feeling valued and cherished as well as him being entertained by how desperately needy for HIM I have become or the things I might be willing to do to serve/ please him.

So I guess for me it's about that overarching tone from the D, one of care and being valued that creates a safe place for me to really let go and be his, serving him as he sees fit. ( within the agreed terms for mutual satisfaction).

I can identify, from the other side of the D/s equation, absolutely with your response.

 

[Tigerlily3]

This is an interesting thread to stumble across.

I had never heard of affirmative domination until I read this, thank you for teaching me something new Master Doctor. Although I hadn't heard of the label, I always look for a Dominant who has this as an overarching style of communication, or love language.

For me it's about feeling owned, valued, cherished, cared for and protected as well as being raised up/ supported to be the best person I can be. For me this forms the foundation for me to submit and to serve.

Although it's kinda hot, I don't relate massively to the kink party/ dungeon scene, mostly because that is outside of my experiences with all of my D/s taking place in private.

I do relate to wanting to be seen to be seen as his cherished possession, I just struggle to find ways to do that within the bounds of maintaining my privacy so I have complex thoughts around serving him publicly, yes, it's HOT but coming from a small community I tend to leave that to fantasy.
I do love to serve him by going out into the world and being the best version of myself I can be, for him. When I am speaking to a D at the start one of the things I look for within myself is a desire to lift my game in my everyday life, when I feel that desire to please him by doing fairly mundane things in my own life with slightly more care and attention, it's a a really positive sign for me that he is bringing this out in me.

Around humiliation, I enjoy what I would describe as light teasing humiliation. When he takes me from being a fairly together, sensible person to being something else entirely ( hopefully your imaginations can fill in the blanks here ) and he enjoys teasing me about that, it's a lot of fun and super hot. I really enjoy having the those two feelings mingling together, feeling valued and cherished as well as him being entertained by how desperately needy for HIM I have become or the things I might be willing to do to serve/ please him.

So I guess for me it's about that overarching tone from the D, one of care and being valued that creates a safe place for me to really let go and be his, serving him as he sees fit. ( within the agreed terms for mutual satisfaction).

Absolutely beautifully articulated!!

 

[Eloquent_Hedonist]

To state the blindingly obvious, I think the pain thing only works if you like pain - I have no idea why some people do and others don't, but I've always been in the 'do' category, even before I discovered my enjoyment of a d/s dynamic. And that segued into the general 'rough sex' area. For me, I think part of the attraction is starting from a position of power, and either ceding some of that to the other person, or having it 'taken' with some force (although of course that's also always consensual). And then being pushed a little further than is maybe comfortable ... it's a funny headspace, but as well as the physical sensation, there's a mental aspect to seeing how much you can handle, or how far you can be pushed. So in THAT component, there's maybe an aspect of 'affirmation', in that the person on the d side of the equation is part of that process.

And for me, that sort of thing always comes with a drop at the end. I quite often cum straight after what is happening stops, and then just drop, and need a fair amount of looking after. For the right guy, I think that part is just as pleasurable as the rest of it. Well, maybe not just as pleasurable, but certainly an integral part of it all.

I'm not sure if I'm making much sense. It seems clear in my head.

Crystal clear Kim! Thanks for explaining your thought process to me. In my experience of pain play it's largely been a functional tool, but I understand the idea of limit pushing.

The coming down makes a lot of sense as well, and while I'm not a dominant I'd assume there would be an appeal of comforting a sub who has diligently rendered themselves spent at your command.

Nice to see more people weighing in

EH

 

[Master_Doctor]

@DaisychainNZ

This is an interesting thread to stumble across.

For me it's about feeling owned, valued, cherished, cared for and protected as well as being raised up/ supported to be the best person I can be. For me this forms the foundation for me to submit and to serve.

I could not agree more. At least for myself and many I have shared my life with. For me thats what it is all about. Regardless of what fetishes you enjoy , this is foundational for me.


Although it's kinda hot, I don't relate massively to the kink party/ dungeon scene, mostly because that is outside of my experiences with all of my D/s taking place in private.

I do relate to wanting to be seen to be seen as his cherished possession, I just struggle to find ways to do that within the bounds of maintaining my privacy so I have complex thoughts around serving him publicly, yes, it's HOT but coming from a small community I tend to leave that to fantasy.

I understand completely. Safety is key. Living the lifestyle isnt easy, regardless of how much we may want to imagine otherwise. Its hard to find a community that you and live and play in while ensuring that your normal life is unaffected and kept private. It takes a lot of work, a lot of research (about the clubs, parties you may want to visit). It also takes a long time to be comfortable in doing scenes in semi public. Because in the end. No matter how great a BDSM community is. They are still compromised of human beings. Who have many of the same issues, fauts, shortcomings that many of use struggle with. Some areas of the country would still arrest you if you had a (non-violent. non-abusive) dungeon in your basement. Well, if anyone found out about it anyway.

This is why I believe the two most important things in a Dynamic are Communication and trust. A dynamic will never function without them.

It is my hope that information I share on Lit is to be of value to others. Thank you for your kind words.

 

[Chillygirl]

This is an interesting thread to stumble across.

I had never heard of affirmative domination until I read this, thank you for teaching me something new Master Doctor. Although I hadn't heard of the label, I always look for a Dominant who has this as an overarching style of communication, or love language.

For me it's about feeling owned, valued, cherished, cared for and protected as well as being raised up/ supported to be the best person I can be. For me this forms the foundation for me to submit and to serve.

Although it's kinda hot, I don't relate massively to the kink party/ dungeon scene, mostly because that is outside of my experiences with all of my D/s taking place in private.

I do relate to wanting to be seen to be seen as his cherished possession, I just struggle to find ways to do that within the bounds of maintaining my privacy so I have complex thoughts around serving him publicly, yes, it's HOT but coming from a small community I tend to leave that to fantasy.
I do love to serve him by going out into the world and being the best version of myself I can be, for him. When I am speaking to a D at the start one of the things I look for within myself is a desire to lift my game in my everyday life, when I feel that desire to please him by doing fairly mundane things in my own life with slightly more care and attention, it's a a really positive sign for me that he is bringing this out in me.

Around humiliation, I enjoy what I would describe as light teasing humiliation. When he takes me from being a fairly together, sensible person to being something else entirely ( hopefully your imaginations can fill in the blanks here ) and he enjoys teasing me about that, it's a lot of fun and super hot. I really enjoy having the those two feelings mingling together, feeling valued and cherished as well as him being entertained by how desperately needy for HIM I have become or the things I might be willing to do to serve/ please him.

So I guess for me it's about that overarching tone from the D, one of care and being valued that creates a safe place for me to really let go and be his, serving him as he sees fit. ( within the agreed terms for mutual satisfaction).

^^^THIS...so much this. Now if I could just find him...

 

[DaisychainNZ]

Thank you M.D. really appreciate your wise words, as you say trust and communication are so very important.
Crikey, I had no idea you could be arrested just for owning a personal dungeon. I do get why it might raise concerns but assumed 'I'm kinky' and 'it's consensual" would be all one would need as an explanation.
I am learning every day

This is an interesting thread to stumble across.

For me it's about feeling owned, valued, cherished, cared for and protected as well as being raised up/ supported to be the best person I can be. For me this forms the foundation for me to submit and to serve.

I could not agree more. At least for myself and many I have shared my life with. For me thats what it is all about. Regardless of what fetishes you enjoy , this is foundational for me.


Although it's kinda hot, I don't relate massively to the kink party/ dungeon scene, mostly because that is outside of my experiences with all of my D/s taking place in private.

I do relate to wanting to be seen to be seen as his cherished possession, I just struggle to find ways to do that within the bounds of maintaining my privacy so I have complex thoughts around serving him publicly, yes, it's HOT but coming from a small community I tend to leave that to fantasy.

I understand completely. Safety is key. Living the lifestyle isnt easy, regardless of how much we may want to imagine otherwise. Its hard to find a community that you and live and play in while ensuring that your normal life is unaffected and kept private. It takes a lot of work, a lot of research (about the clubs, parties you may want to visit). It also takes a long time to be comfortable in doing scenes in semi public. Because in the end. No matter how great a BDSM community is. They are still compromised of human beings. Who have many of the same issues, fauts, shortcomings that many of use struggle with. Some areas of the country would still arrest you if you had a (non-violent. non-abusive) dungeon in your basement. Well, if anyone found out about it anyway.

This is why I believe the two most important things in a Dynamic are Communication and trust. A dynamic will never function without them.

It is my hope that information I share on Lit is to be of value to others. Thank you for your kind words.

 

[Runbow]

Super interesting thread, has given me a lot to think about. Thanks!