Quick grammar question, please.

[TarnishedPenny]

I keep coming up with different conclusions. Is it:

I realized that it was Jim Tina was kissing, not I.

or​

I realized that it was Jim Tina was kissing, not me.

or​

I realized that it was Jim Tina was kissing, not myself.


Thanks for your help.

 

[jaF0]

Me.

But I might need more context or background. Does the character usually speak more formal or casual?

 

[TarnishedPenny]

Me.

But I might need more context or background. Does the character usually speak more formal or casual?

More casual than formal.

Thanks.

 

[jaF0]

Then, me.


A more hoity-toity upscale person might use I.

 

[KeithD]

Break it down to who Tina was kissing.

Tina was kissing me, not Tina was kissing I. Just break it down to the base action, and the answer will usually pop out at you.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

Thank you.

 

[SimonDoom]

This is a bit tricky, because you have several different things going on in this sentence.

Basically, the word you are wondering about is a predicate nominative: it's a pronoun you are using after a linking verb that renames the subject.

It was Jim.
It was I/me.

The now well-accepted grammar rule is that you can say either one:

It is I.
It is me.

What makes this sentence tricky is that phrase "Tina was kissing." What is that? It's an elliptical relative clause, which is missing the relative pronoun "whom."

Thus:

It was Jim whom Tina was kissing. "whom Tina was kissing" is a relative clause. "whom" is the missing relative pronoun. It's also the missing object. "Tina was kissing whom."

It's important to note that "Jim" is not the object of "Tina was kissing." "Jim" is a nominative after the linking verb "was." The object of "Tina was kissing" is "whom," but it's missing in the sentence (and that's fine, grammatically).

The answer is that it can be either "me" or "I", but I think "me" sounds better because, while it's not an object, strictly speaking, it's tied to the object "whom." "I" is technically correct but it sounds overly formal.

 

[Vix_Giovanni]

This is a bit tricky, because you have several different things going on in this sentence.

Basically, the word you are wondering about is a predicate nominative: it's a pronoun you are using after a linking verb that renames the subject.

It was Jim.
It was I/me.

The now well-accepted grammar rule is that you can say either one:

It is I.
It is me.

What makes this sentence tricky is that phrase "Tina was kissing." What is that? It's an elliptical relative clause, which is missing the relative pronoun "whom."

Thus:

It was Jim whom Tina was kissing. "whom Tina was kissing" is a relative clause. "whom" is the missing relative pronoun. It's also the missing object. "Tina was kissing whom."

It's important to note that "Jim" is not the object of "Tina was kissing." "Jim" is a nominative after the linking verb "was." The object of "Tina was kissing" is "whom," but it's missing in the sentence (and that's fine, grammatically).

The answer is that it can be either "me" or "I", but I think "me" sounds better because, while it's not an object, strictly speaking, it's tied to the object "whom." "I" is technically correct but it sounds overly formal.

Why doesn’t myself work?

I’m wondering since it seems it’s technically a reflexive pronoun here (I think?). It doesn’t “sound right” to my ear, but of course, that doesn’t really explain why it’s not correct.

 

[SimonDoom]

Why doesn’t myself work?

I’m wondering since it seems it’s technically a reflexive pronoun here (I think?). It doesn’t “sound right” to my ear, but of course, that doesn’t really explain why it’s not correct.

As a matter of common usage I don't think we usually use a reflexive pronoun after a linking verb. You would not typically write:


"Who spilled the milk on the floor?" my mother demanded.

"It was myself," I confessed.

No one, I think, would consider that correct. You would say "It was me" or "It was I."

Reflexive pronouns usually are used as indirect objects or in similar ways.

E.g.,

I made myself a cup of tea.

 

[Vix_Giovanni]

As a matter of common usage I don't think we usually use a reflexive pronoun after a linking verb. You would not typically write:


"Who spilled the milk on the floor?" my mother demanded.

"It was myself," I confessed.

No one, I think, would consider that correct. You would say "It was me" or "It was I."

Reflexive pronouns usually are used as indirect objects or in similar ways.

E.g.,

I made myself a cup of tea.

Thanks, it’s helpful to know the reason why it doesn’t sound right. This makes a lot of sense.

 

[KeithD]

I would break the milk phrase down. Would it be "I spilled the milk" or would it be "me spilled the milk"? I wouldn't have any trouble going with "I" here.

 

[KimGordon67]

I keep coming up with different conclusions. Is it:

I realized that it was Jim Tina was kissing, not I.

or​

I realized that it was Jim Tina was kissing, not me.

or​

I realized that it was Jim Tina was kissing, not myself.


Thanks for your help.

I actually think the sentence is a bit convoluted. I had to read it three times to work out who the hell was kissing who. Maybe just try 'I realised Tina was kissing Jim, not me.'?
(In my experience, people use 'I' in these situations because they're trying to sound grammatically correct, but it's actually not right.)

 

[Vix_Giovanni]

I would break the milk phrase down. Would it be "I spilled the milk" or would it be "me spilled the milk"? I wouldn't have any trouble going with "I" here.

That helps a lot; and following on Simon’s point, since myself is reflexive (well reflective or absolute construction, which wasn’t the case in TP’s sentence), here, it would need to be something like “I, myself, spilled the milk.”

 

[ElectricBlue]

As a matter of common usage I don't think we usually use a reflexive pronoun after a linking verb. You would not typically write:

"Who spilled the milk on the floor?" my mother demanded.

"It was myself," I confessed.

No one, I think, would consider that correct. You would say "It was me" or "It was I."

People using "myself" when they mean "me" seems to be increasingly more common these days - it sounds pretentious to me. Cringe.

 

[WAT456]

"I" Versus "Me"

The difference between I and me is actually very clear, they are not interchangeable, if you're following the rules of grammar. This link is very straightforward:

https://www.grammar.com/me_vs._i#:~...e between "me,situations you should use which.

In a nutshell, "I" is the subject pronoun in a sentence and "me" is the object pronoun, either direct or indirect.