Female-Led Relationships

[policywank]

Isn't that the route 99%+ of adults would take?

One would like to hope so, but 99% might be a bit optimistic, lol.

I can't speak for Scareltt but I think the FLR context can be a bit different. Some people associate leading with being aggressive or dominant, whereas leadership is really more complex and nuanced than either of those concepts. I infer from her anecdote that she recognized that leading in that situation meant leading the way herself - by example rather than by being bossy.

From my perspective this is a situation where an FLR is beneficial for everyone. In an equal relationship one partner or the other can feel a bit powerless when the other doesn't fulfill their responsibility and so depending upon the mood and circumstance might be more likely to act out their frustration (even though they know it isn't the mature thing to do). When one person is in charge - this case the woman - she has already taken it upon herself to lead the way. So quite the opposite of the stereotype of just being bossy she understands that she has accepted the mantle of leadership and the responsibility to rise above her frustration and well as any pre-conceived idea of how to behave.

 

[Deleted member 1655181]

So true. I do have regrets like this one. I also have had the good fortune to experience having some of my fantasies come true, thanks to my wife taking the lead. I don't regret any of these experiences.

My wife and I both like some fantasy play during our times together. However, both of us chicken out when it comes to implementing the real thing. For instance, one of her fantasies is for her to get a cmnf massage by a hot man. There would be no gratification for him but he would make it a happy ending for her either orally or with his fingers. I would be allowed to watch the procedure. We like to talk up situations like this but talk is as far as it goes. I'm trying allow her the discretion to take the lead, but so far nothing's happened.

 

[lady_jennaxx]

One would like to hope so, but 99% might be a bit optimistic, lol.

I can't speak for Scareltt but I think the FLR context can be a bit different. Some people associate leading with being aggressive or dominant, whereas leadership is really more complex and nuanced than either of those concepts. I infer from her anecdote that she recognized that leading in that situation meant leading the way herself - by example rather than by being bossy.

From my perspective this is a situation where an FLR is beneficial for everyone. In an equal relationship one partner or the other can feel a bit powerless when the other doesn't fulfill their responsibility and so depending upon the mood and circumstance might be more likely to act out their frustration (even though they know it isn't the mature thing to do). When one person is in charge - this case the woman - she has already taken it upon herself to lead the way. So quite the opposite of the stereotype of just being bossy she understands that she has accepted the mantle of leadership and the responsibility to rise above her frustration and well as any pre-conceived idea of how to behave.

Thank you, that was superbly stated

 

[Scareltt]

Once again!

One would like to hope so, but 99% might be a bit optimistic, lol.

I can't speak for Scareltt but I think the FLR context can be a bit different. Some people associate leading with being aggressive or dominant, whereas leadership is really more complex and nuanced than either of those concepts. I infer from her anecdote that she recognized that leading in that situation meant leading the way herself - by example rather than by being bossy.

From my perspective this is a situation where an FLR is beneficial for everyone. In an equal relationship one partner or the other can feel a bit powerless when the other doesn't fulfill their responsibility and so depending upon the mood and circumstance might be more likely to act out their frustration (even though they know it isn't the mature thing to do). When one person is in charge - this case the woman - she has already taken it upon herself to lead the way. So quite the opposite of the stereotype of just being bossy she understands that she has accepted the mantle of leadership and the responsibility to rise above her frustration and well as any pre-conceived idea of how to behave.

Yes, everything above... I could have gotten in the car and slapped my husband and pouted. Not really in my nature, but I was frustrated.

the day turned out lovely. We picked a bunch of strawberries. I’v made everything from strawberry margaritas to jam. My husband even found a few creative was to eat them.

 

[Mrbluejeans9999]

And....

what's the creative way to eat them? Do tell!

 

[phil1955]

what's the creative way to eat them? Do tell!

Probably involves whipped cream and perhaps chocolate syrup.

 

[massageguy1]

My first real sexual experiences

Apart from heavy petting in the backseat of a car, my first real.sexual.experiences came at the hands of an older woman whe. I was 18. (BTW, 'came at the hands of an older woman' is either unintended foreshadowing or a truly Freudian slip. You know what. Freudian slip is, right? It's where you say one thing, and mean your mother...' But I digress.)

I'd known her since I was 12. There was never any question as to who was in charge... I was too inexperienced, too grateful, and too besotted to want to lead at all. Only too happy to do as she gently but firmly directed. I was so naive that it was years before I realized she'd planned the whole seduction out, and timed it to end with me heading off to college. She moved out of state shortly after, but managed to direct another chance for me to be submissive, embarrassed, and thrilled with a friend of hers who was a doctor at the student clinic. She taught me a lot about myself, about women, about cunnilingus, and the Joy's of having my prostate plundered...

I've enjoyed the company of strong, confident women ever since... There's no need to shout or shriek if you really know what you're doing.

And she certainly did.

 

[lady_jennaxx]

Apart from heavy petting in the backseat of a car, my first real.sexual.experiences came at the hands of an older woman whe. I was 18. (BTW, 'came at the hands of an older woman' is either unintended foreshadowing or a truly Freudian slip. You know what. Freudian slip is, right? It's where you say one thing, and mean your mother...' But I digress.)

I'd known her since I was 12. There was never any question as to who was in charge... I was too inexperienced, too grateful, and too besotted to want to lead at all. Only too happy to do as she gently but firmly directed. I was so naive that it was years before I realized she'd planned the whole seduction out, and timed it to end with me heading off to college. She moved out of state shortly after, but managed to direct another chance for me to be submissive, embarrassed, and thrilled with a friend of hers who was a doctor at the student clinic. She taught me a lot about myself, about women, about cunnilingus, and the Joy's of having my prostate plundered...

I've enjoyed the company of strong, confident women ever since... There's no need to shout or shriek if you really know what you're doing.

And she certainly did.

Lucky guy.

 

[massageguy1]

Damned skippy

And just wise enough to realize it...

 

[lady_jennaxx]

And just wise enough to realize it...

Even better.

 

[massageguy1]

Damned skippy

And just wise enough to realize it...

 

[lady_jennaxx]

And just wise enough to realize it...

Then you're ahead of most.

 

[jaycolt]

Yes

I feel this is the best male audience to pose a question to.

Would a female led relationship appeal to you and, if so, what would it look like? I realize there are many variances to this particular theme and the 2 people involved can make it whatever they choose, but are there key components that would draw you to this particular dynamic?

My question extends beyond the sexual component, of course. Being a strong woman with a slightly "sub" man is nothing new of course...but I am not speaking of a D/s type interaction. Ordering someone around and expecting your bidding to be done without question isn't my thing. I prefer a much more cerebral, gentle dynamic where my strength isn't used to wield punishment, moreso guidance and nurturing.

Any of you out there currently enjoying such a dynamic? Hoping to or actively searching for such a thing? Would love to discuss the ins and outs and get a real life feel of how this manifests in your day-to-day lives.

As always, PM's are not only welcome, but encouraged

Yes, a FLR would appeal to me. I am currently in a relationship where the wife is demanding about many things, gets crazy anxious about others and then tries to make it up to me later. Somewhat of a rollercoaster. I enjoy trying to please her and actively try to do so, but hard to do when you cannot read minds, she doesn’t really say what she means, or gives a emotion filled look.

I really would like a FLR where we can both talk through desires, likes, dislikes, expectations, etc. and move forward from there to mutually please one another, encourage one another and seek the best for the relationship.

Although not into hardcore bdsm I would certainly want to explore several things with a female leader in the relationship. Chastity cages, pegging, restraints, seeking to please, etc. are all things I would desire to do in a FLR. Above that though I certainly would like the guidance and nurturing aspect. To be encouraged and supported to be the best I could be for the person I fall in love with and live day to day enjoying the overall pleasure (emotional, mental, physical and even core level spirit) of it.

I hope that makes sense to someone.

 

[Scareltt]

A word of caution..

I’ve said this before, but I’ll say it again.

A Female Led Relationship or a Wife Led Marriage have very little to do with sex. Using the male sex drive is only one tool. There are many components. At the end of the day these relationships are about the woman. It’s about her needs and desires.

 

[eroticspank]

I’ve said this before, but I’ll say it again.

A Female Led Relationship or a Wife Led Marriage have very little to do with sex. Using the male sex drive is only one tool. There are many components. At the end of the day these relationships are about the woman. It’s about her needs and desires.

I am a man so I think about sex 500 times a day so when I think about any relationship I think about SEX.

Seriously it is great you mention this above because it is about looking at the whole package...not just the sex part. That is why your examples of daily FLR life help. I try to see her needs and desires that are not sexual, that are about the relationship...and how that is special and fulfilling.

ES

 

[lady_jennaxx]

Great questions and sharing of experiences. Nice to see this is still an active thread

 

[twister947]

I’ve said this before, but I’ll say it again.

A Female Led Relationship or a Wife Led Marriage have very little to do with sex. Using the male sex drive is only one tool. There are many components. At the end of the day these relationships are about the woman. It’s about her needs and desires.

I disagree. An effective leader, male or female, acts in the best interests of the organization.

 

[jackofthedawn]

I’ve said this before, but I’ll say it again.

A Female Led Relationship or a Wife Led Marriage have very little to do with sex. Using the male sex drive is only one tool. There are many components. At the end of the day these relationships are about the woman. It’s about her needs and desires.

Agreed, except that, as with any successful relationship, it must fulfill the needs and desires of all parties involved.

 

[lady_jennaxx]

Agreed, except that, as with any successful relationship, it must fulfill the needs and desires of all parties involved.

This is very crucial if it's to be sustainable long term.

 

[Kitschshaman]

just a little bump...
and for Lady Jennaxxx

 

[lady_jennaxx]

just a little bump...
and for Lady Jennaxxx

Thank you kindly Kitschshaman

 

[MrRetro]

I feel this is the best male audience to pose a question to.

Would a female led relationship appeal to you and, if so, what would it look like? I realize there are many variances to this particular theme and the 2 people involved can make it whatever they choose, but are there key components that would draw you to this particular dynamic?

My question extends beyond the sexual component, of course. Being a strong woman with a slightly "sub" man is nothing new of course...but I am not speaking of a D/s type interaction. Ordering someone around and expecting your bidding to be done without question isn't my thing. I prefer a much more cerebral, gentle dynamic where my strength isn't used to wield punishment, moreso guidance and nurturing.

Any of you out there currently enjoying such a dynamic? Hoping to or actively searching for such a thing? Would love to discuss the ins and outs and get a real life feel of how this manifests in your day-to-day lives.

As always, PM's are not only welcome, but encouraged

Absolutely, a FLR has been a desire of mine for as long as I can remember.. I’m definitely submissive, I think this plays a rather large factor in this type of relationship..

 

[Scareltt]

A wonderful new tool...

Yesterday someone’s husband can home from work with the wrong attitude.

His wife happened to be slicing jalapeños for making salsa. After the salsa was made she gave her husband a ruined orgasm in the bathroom...

Let’s just say the husbands attitude warmed up...

Then he was chilled with a cold shower.

 

[lady_jennaxx]

Thank you Scareltt always good to hear from you

 

[serve4her]

FLR? Yes, no, maybe

First of all, Scarlett's last post was really really hot. Pun intended. I have done quite a bit of naked cooking (or wearing only a chefs apron) and have learned to be careful of the jalapenos by touching my face without thinking of it. I never tried heating up anything lower, but now I'm wondering...

To speak to the original post on this thread, I do almost all of the cooking and cleaning, but mostly I do this because I have the time and I love making my wife happy and giving her the time to pursue her interests and passions.

We have a wonderful relationship but it is loosely defined. Sexually I am very submissive, but I have strong opinions, an independent streak, and it has been mentioned I am sometimes a bit stubborn.

For me, sexuality is a big part of my life, for her not so much. Being sexually submissive, this made orgasm denial a very natural fit. I often do the cleaning or the cooking wearing a chastity cage, cuffs and collar. She enjoys the results and the show, I enjoy feeling like a naughty slut being put on display. We also both enjoy that I become much more aware of and communicative about how beautiful and sexy I think she is as my time denied grows.

However for almost all decisions from money issues to what to watch on TV we discuss and seek answers that satisfy us both. As my time without an orgasm increases, I do become more "agreeable" to her suggestions on almost any subject, but I doubt I could be content surrendering all agency in my life to anyone for any extended period of time.

While I find the idea of a woman being aroused by using my desire to make me completely frantic and push me outside of my comfort zone for her entertainment, most of our life consists of taking care of the daily details and making sure we find the time to support and care for each other emotionally.

In my work life I tended to find myself taking charge when the leadership was poor, and taking the secondary role when it was good. I suspect our marriage is very similar to this. We both are intelligent and talented, but we both are fallible as well.

So, FLR? To me the idea of one person always in charge is somehow broken, so for me FLR would be a tendency, not an absolute. I am definitely a people pleaser, and I certainly tend to defer towards pleasing my wife on many things.

Not sure if this qualifies as FLR, if it adds anything of use to the thread or if it just satisfies my urge to talk about the subject, but a big hat tip goes to Lady_Jennaxx for starting an interesting thread.