New author looking for some feedback.

[harrybottom]

Hello my name is Harry and I’m a new author.

Not new to the site, I’ve been reading stories here for a long time on another account, I created this one just for posting my stories and because I thought of this great account name.

I finally decided to take the plunge and post a couple of stories that I’ve had cooking for awhile. I just dove right in and posted them. I didn’t know anything about these forums or the editors group until I after I started poking around a little more. I’ll definitely see if I can get some help there for my next story (I‘ve got so many ideas!)

Any suggestions or constructive criticism on the two stories I’ve posted so far would be greatly appreciated!

My Summer as a Cocksucker - loosely based on actual events that happened to me.
https://www.literotica.com/beta/s/my-summer-as-a-cocksucker

Couple’s Massage

https://www.literotica.com/beta/s/couple-s-massage

They are both in the Gay Male category.

 

[Ginlover]

Great short story. I enjoyed the humour of the narrator.
Having set the tone of him going through with the massage he didn't want I almost wanted him to be more surprised as things took a turn.

A couple of times I did thing the laws of physics had to take a back seat. I briefly tried to picture a female massage therapist being tall enough to straddle a massage table with her feet on the ground and still able to lower herself on to the wife's face. The girls in 69 as Mack fucked one again balanced on the edge of a narrow massage table and the part with the narrator sucking cock on his knees while both girls worked his cock and ass then he smoothly bent over the table without anyone losing balance or getting in the way of each other made me decide these were acrobatically trained individuals. That all said it was fairly minor and didn't break the flow of the story too much.

Your story is doing well in the gay catagory, though as I read I thought it sounded mostly a group sex story.

Damn good first story, well done.

 

[harrybottom]

A couple of times I did thing the laws of physics had to take a back seat. I briefly tried to picture a female massage therapist being tall enough to straddle a massage table with her feet on the ground and still able to lower herself on to the wife's face. The girls in 69 as Mack fucked one again balanced on the edge of a narrow massage table and the part with the narrator sucking cock on his knees while both girls worked his cock and ass then he smoothly bent over the table without anyone losing balance or getting in the way of each other made me decide these were acrobatically trained individuals. That all said it was fairly minor and didn't break the flow of the story too much.

Thanks for taking the time to read the story and provide some feedback. I appreciate it.

I didn’t really think about the massage tables being so tall and how to take that into account during the scene, now that you’ve pointed it out I realize that it probably works for some things but not others.

Your story is doing well in the gay catagory, though
as I read I thought it sounded mostly a group sex story.

I struggled with which category to put it in. There is a a lot going on but I thought since the center of attention was the narrator and how he was feeling about the cock and most of the descriptive stuff was leaning toward gay male related and the narrator’s thoughts and feelings toward it went that direction it fit there. Again you’re probably right that at certain parts it fits more into the group sex category.

Damn good first story, well done.

Thanks again for the feedback! I appreciate it. Definitely going to put more thought into positions and the environment things are taking place in going forward.