Female-Led Relationships

[eroticspank]

I was speaking more along the lines of some of the early comments saying "yeah I was in an FLR without knowing it", "my wife turned it into one" ... I don't see how it can be an ethical FLR while being a unilateral decision!

That sounds like abuse to me and your examples above I think are just that. I think we are talking about healthy FLRs not abusive ones. I think even healthy FLRs can come about because someone just takes charge to keep the relationship on the tracks. In my experience it is typically the woman that does that because the relationship part is a big deal to her.

I find this hard to describe but I will try. Men can be like little boys at times. We go out and play(food/sex/TV) and forget about the work and sweat that goes into a home AND a relationship. It is the woman that typically puts on the brakes and says something. Some of us listen some of us don't. If we don't listen the woman gets more and more upset at the situation. That is when the relationship can turn bad. For those of us who listen this is where it can lead to a FLR. The woman becomes much happier and as a result so does the man. He learns to follow her lead and they stay happy both in the bedroom and out.

ES

 

[eroticspank]

There have been many good examples in this thread; some not my particular cup of tea, but that's the great part about sharing, you get exposure to concepts you might not have thought of before. Compatibility will ALWAYS come before anything else (for me) and finding the proper balance in the dynamic is a joint effort

Agreed. I like the fact that there are so many different ways and different ideas on a FLR. I have read some that would not work for me and others that sound VERY good to me. I feel like there are many FLRs that involve a "silent" female leader. She is in control and runs the relationship but does it indirectly......not in a bad way either....just a different style.

ES

 

[SaraSera]

I’d love this mostly because I’m a people pleaser and enjoy the comfort of not having to be in charge. Basically I’m a Golden Retriever. Lol

 

[lady_jennaxx]

Saturday night bump.

If anyone would like to discuss one-on-one, feel free to PM, but please perform due diligence and read my original post. Not interested in role-playing fantasy scenarios or the like.

Stay safe everyone

 

[newhere2learn]

Ok, so last Wednesday night, it was predetermined that I would be unlocked from my cage for a thorough cleaning. Well, I'm not allowed to ask for much, if anything. That goes against the basis of a FLR. As the evening progressed, I was getting more anxious. Finally, I was told that it was time to get unlocked and get cleaned up. After a quick shower, we went to lie down on the bed. After a few moments, my Wife who is my Mistress, told me to crawl between her legs and start licking. Of course, I did as I was told. After a couple of minutes, she told me to stop and roll onto my back. Again, I did as I was told. She then climbed on top of my face and held onto the headboard while sitting down on my tongue. She simply said, “Lick”. Again, I did as I was told. This went on for a few minutes, occasionally she would sit farther down on my tongue. Eventually, she had a nice long orgasm.
At this point, she laid down on her back and I climbed on top. Instead of entering her, I proceeded to masturbate on top of her. The whole time she was encouraging me on. Finally, I shot a nice load all over her. It was a great evening.

That sounds incredible, locked up again afterwards?

 

[newhere2learn]

I can't imagine two people just out-of-the-blue deciding one day to try living as an FLR. If their personalities are not already of the sort required, their new FLR relationship would only be role play. It seems to me that would get old, quickly. But then I'm not one to be judging role play situations. I can't bring myself to do it. It feels silly.

Agreed. Now me and my ex-wife have been separated a year, it's given me time to reflect. While she has a lot of wonderful qualities, the ones that led to our FLR (sort of) state were the less wonderful ones.

She's bipolar, and highly narcissistic. Within a year together, I'd learned that for her, sex was entirely about self esteem. Think of a spider who gets off on trapping their pray way more than the actual eating of it. So by two years in her behaviour had changed from sex 3/5/6 times a week, with kinks on, to once a month and I was made to feel a nuisance for wanting it. Most quickies she was done way before me and with a bored expression would say; "if you need to finish, go in the bathroom, don't make a mess... Eugh"

As the sex dwindled, her control over our lives increased as did her extra-marrital attention seeking. So even though she was in and out of work constantly, and I was the sole earner, I was living dirt poor while she had everything she wanted.

Her depression ramped up, and her control over our lives continued to increase. The two have always been intrinsically linked.

I'd be working 60hr a week while she lazed around the house, and I'd still be expected to do all chores, pay bills, shopping etc. This made me utterly miserable, almost suicidal, but I was too exhausted to notice my own degradation of self worth.

There's be periods where she'd work, gain confidence and the control would loosen, we'd love almost normally, sex would resume to weekly, and things were better.


I'm naturally dominant, and career driven. So to be crushed so hard emotionally and within our marriage was hell. Seeing friends or family? Borderline a no go as her tantrums would be spectacular.

To keep us afloat financially due to her perpetual cycle of in/out of work, I sold everything I loved and abandoned all hobbies. Life savings, inheritances... Gone to meet her needs.


Now the point of this rant/ramble is that I agree wholeheartedly with the above. Neither of us were suited to FLR. Me in no way shape or form. I did it to keep the peace as her MH was at times.ao fragile, I was borderline her carer.

Equally, her. It's plain to see that the employed/confident and outgoing girl with a balanced relationship was way happier than the one making her husband give up 100% of his earnings and assets to keep them afloat, sleep in separate bedrooms etc.


So yes, both have to want it.



Even now, a year separated and 3years since sex/kissing/intimacy/sharing a bed, I still have to support her for the sake of the kids. So financially my payments in line with maintenance, but also fixing things that break, solving problems that she creates, having the kids way more than she'd ever admit to anyone that I do.

The difference now, is that I do it a. For the kids and b. From distance. It's on my terms (75%) of the time. And living apart means that if she goes down a rabbit hole of rants via message late at night or while I am at work, the "mute" button on a smartphone is a glorious thing. Can simply go back to working, socialising and such as I please.



Finally, the knock on effect of this is that I've met someone else who's halfway between FWB and GF. However, she's made it clear she'd like the full package once she's free (financially) from her ex (shared house/mortgage) etc. However, due to my former marriage and experiences I can see a wealth of red flags, so whilst she's a great woman and I actually have fallen in love with her..... I've no intention of compromise on my life/career to suit her.

I've become inflexible and robust in my approach, almost Fi-Fo management within relationship. To safeguard my own welfare mentally, financially and emotionally.


The result of this is that my self esteem and worth has never been better and I'm now way more comfortable on my own skin.

 

[CaffeinatedHub45]

Agreed. Now me and my ex-wife have been separated a year, it's given me time to reflect. While she has a lot of wonderful qualities, the ones that led to our FLR (sort of) state were the less wonderful ones.

She's bipolar, and highly narcissistic. Within a year together, I'd learned that for her, sex was entirely about self esteem. Think of a spider who gets off on trapping their pray way more than the actual eating of it. So by two years in her behaviour had changed from sex 3/5/6 times a week, with kinks on, to once a month and I was made to feel a nuisance for wanting it. Most quickies she was done way before me and with a bored expression would say; "if you need to finish, go in the bathroom, don't make a mess... Eugh"

As the sex dwindled, her control over our lives increased as did her extra-marrital attention seeking. So even though she was in and out of work constantly, and I was the sole earner, I was living dirt poor while she had everything she wanted.

Her depression ramped up, and her control over our lives continued to increase. The two have always been intrinsically linked.

I'd be working 60hr a week while she lazed around the house, and I'd still be expected to do all chores, pay bills, shopping etc. This made me utterly miserable, almost suicidal, but I was too exhausted to notice my own degradation of self worth.

There's be periods where she'd work, gain confidence and the control would loosen, we'd love almost normally, sex would resume to weekly, and things were better.


I'm naturally dominant, and career driven. So to be crushed so hard emotionally and within our marriage was hell. Seeing friends or family? Borderline a no go as her tantrums would be spectacular.

To keep us afloat financially due to her perpetual cycle of in/out of work, I sold everything I loved and abandoned all hobbies. Life savings, inheritances... Gone to meet her needs.


Now the point of this rant/ramble is that I agree wholeheartedly with the above. Neither of us were suited to FLR. Me in no way shape or form. I did it to keep the peace as her MH was at times.ao fragile, I was borderline her carer.

Equally, her. It's plain to see that the employed/confident and outgoing girl with a balanced relationship was way happier than the one making her husband give up 100% of his earnings and assets to keep them afloat, sleep in separate bedrooms etc.


So yes, both have to want it.



Even now, a year separated and 3years since sex/kissing/intimacy/sharing a bed, I still have to support her for the sake of the kids. So financially my payments in line with maintenance, but also fixing things that break, solving problems that she creates, having the kids way more than she'd ever admit to anyone that I do.

The difference now, is that I do it a. For the kids and b. From distance. It's on my terms (75%) of the time. And living apart means that if she goes down a rabbit hole of rants via message late at night or while I am at work, the "mute" button on a smartphone is a glorious thing. Can simply go back to working, socialising and such as I please.



Finally, the knock on effect of this is that I've met someone else who's halfway between FWB and GF. However, she's made it clear she'd like the full package once she's free (financially) from her ex (shared house/mortgage) etc. However, due to my former marriage and experiences I can see a wealth of red flags, so whilst she's a great woman and I actually have fallen in love with her..... I've no intention of compromise on my life/career to suit her.

I've become inflexible and robust in my approach, almost Fi-Fo management within relationship. To safeguard my own welfare mentally, financially and emotionally.


The result of this is that my self esteem and worth has never been better and I'm now way more comfortable on my own skin.

Amazing post! Thank you for sharing it.

 

[newhere2learn]

Amazing post! Thank you for sharing it.

No problems, I was.a regular on the sexless threads a year or two ago. This is kind of the prologue.

 

[pumperguy191]

That sounds incredible, locked up again afterwards?

Of course. As time goes on, we are learning how we wish to proceed. Finding the correct cage is paramount. As of now, our routine is to lock me up either Sunday night or Monday morning. I am allowed out everyday to clean and make sure no issues have arrived. I self lock after the shower. On Saturday morning, she unlocks me where I remain through the weekend for spur of the moment sex or play time.

Of course, this schedule is subject to change at any moment.

Oh, as a side note, I still am required to wash her every time we shower together.

Gosh I love this woman,

 

[Kitschshaman]

Agreed. Now me and my ex-wife have been separated a year, it's given me time to reflect. While she has a lot of wonderful qualities, the ones that led to our FLR (sort of) state were the less wonderful ones.

She's bipolar, and highly narcissistic. Within a year together, I'd learned that for her, sex was entirely about self esteem. Think of a spider who gets off on trapping their pray way more than the actual eating of it. So by two years in her behaviour had changed from sex 3/5/6 times a week, with kinks on, to once a month and I was made to feel a nuisance for wanting it. Most quickies she was done way before me and with a bored expression would say; "if you need to finish, go in the bathroom, don't make a mess... Eugh"

As the sex dwindled, her control over our lives increased as did her extra-marrital attention seeking. So even though she was in and out of work constantly, and I was the sole earner, I was living dirt poor while she had everything she wanted.

Her depression ramped up, and her control over our lives continued to increase. The two have always been intrinsically linked.

I'd be working 60hr a week while she lazed around the house, and I'd still be expected to do all chores, pay bills, shopping etc. This made me utterly miserable, almost suicidal, but I was too exhausted to notice my own degradation of self worth.

There's be periods where she'd work, gain confidence and the control would loosen, we'd love almost normally, sex would resume to weekly, and things were better.


I'm naturally dominant, and career driven. So to be crushed so hard emotionally and within our marriage was hell. Seeing friends or family? Borderline a no go as her tantrums would be spectacular.

To keep us afloat financially due to her perpetual cycle of in/out of work, I sold everything I loved and abandoned all hobbies. Life savings, inheritances... Gone to meet her needs.


Now the point of this rant/ramble is that I agree wholeheartedly with the above. Neither of us were suited to FLR. Me in no way shape or form. I did it to keep the peace as her MH was at times.ao fragile, I was borderline her carer.

Equally, her. It's plain to see that the employed/confident and outgoing girl with a balanced relationship was way happier than the one making her husband give up 100% of his earnings and assets to keep them afloat, sleep in separate bedrooms etc.


So yes, both have to want it.



Even now, a year separated and 3years since sex/kissing/intimacy/sharing a bed, I still have to support her for the sake of the kids. So financially my payments in line with maintenance, but also fixing things that break, solving problems that she creates, having the kids way more than she'd ever admit to anyone that I do.

The difference now, is that I do it a. For the kids and b. From distance. It's on my terms (75%) of the time. And living apart means that if she goes down a rabbit hole of rants via message late at night or while I am at work, the "mute" button on a smartphone is a glorious thing. Can simply go back to working, socialising and such as I please.



Finally, the knock on effect of this is that I've met someone else who's halfway between FWB and GF. However, she's made it clear she'd like the full package once she's free (financially) from her ex (shared house/mortgage) etc. However, due to my former marriage and experiences I can see a wealth of red flags, so whilst she's a great woman and I actually have fallen in love with her..... I've no intention of compromise on my life/career to suit her.

I've become inflexible and robust in my approach, almost Fi-Fo management within relationship. To safeguard my own welfare mentally, financially and emotionally.


The result of this is that my self esteem and worth has never been better and I'm now way more comfortable on my own skin.

Kudos to your strength of character to get out of there. I feel your pain, I've been in a similar situation and it took me far too long to recognize the damage. In my case there were no kids and no actual wedding, but the emotional damage was great...it took me over 12 years to separate myself (too much explanation required for me to fully explain here, suffice to say I was exhausted physically, emotionally and financially) but the scars remain.
Again, kudos...

 

[newhere2learn]

Kudos to your strength of character to get out of there. I feel your pain, I've been in a similar situation and it took me far too long to recognize the damage. In my case there were no kids and no actual wedding, but the emotional damage was great...it took me over 12 years to separate myself (too much explanation required for me to fully explain here, suffice to say I was exhausted physically, emotionally and financially) but the scars remain.
Again, kudos...

Sorry for your situation, it sounds familiar. I know how it can be.

Historically, she'd force me out the house, to hotel, my parents or friends. Lengthening it accordingly to suit the punishment she wished to dish out. Knowing that I'd do anything to get back into the house for the kids.

The last time she did so, was a final straw for me. We'd been in a new house about 3weeks that I'd not wanted to buy as it'd bankrupt me.


So, long story short once back in the house after paying lip service to her demands I simply switched off. I stopped. So by that I mean;

- stopped stoking her ego
- stopped pandering to her whims
- stopped funding her mistakes
- stopped flexing work hours to suit her latest demand
- stopped paying her the attention she craves.

Over the next 3-4 months she several times brought up "our relationship" and all "your issues causing us problems". Knowing there was no reconciliation to be had, or wanted by me, I simply refused to discuss.

The final time she brought it up, she ranted and raved for 2+ hours. The total reaction she got from me, while sat on the sofa with a cup of tea was;

"The door is there. No one is preventing you using it"

A month passed, she made token gestures re: selling the house, splitting equity etc. but she did absolutely nothing about making this happen. I then noticed possessions, money etc. missing and found paperwork of rental properties she'd been seeing. As well as she was "going to the gym" and appearing 4-5hr later and wearing nice underwear and full makeup. (I'm no fool).

By this point I'd established that there was someone else (again), she'd found somewhere else to live (locally), would be taking the kids, and would be rinsing me financially... Then leaving me with the large mortgage, debts etc to resolve.

Friends and family over those weeks advised methods of getting even, or causing her issues. But, to be honest all they'd have done would cause a reaction from her.


In the end, she gave me 36hr notice that she was leaving with the kids, leaving the pets behind and taking 90% of the household contents. My only request was: "Thursday morning when you go, your family and the van stay out my sight until I've said bye to the kids and gone to work" she tried blocking and refusing that, to which she was told "go fuck yourself".

I returned home that fateful night, to find she'd taken everything but 2 sofas, a bed.

Everything from kettle to pots pans, curtains etc. Gone.

Over the next couple of weeks I also established that she'd been hiding bills and red letter demands, and squirreling money from the JA. She'd left me 5k of debt and taken 10k "cash".


I've not chased a penny. And I've cleared the debts in 8months. Again friends and family are seething.


I knew this was how it'd end years ago, that or one of us in a coffin. Doing it this way, I'm not the one destined for the coffin.



Now, as dust begins to settle I'm in a good place and very content with my life barring the huge mortgage, but the house will sell.

I'm fighting for access constantly, but she can't cope solo so I always end up with more. She only denies access to get more maintenance money, as money is her world.


Meanwhile, she's got everything she ever said she wanted and more and yet looks like shit, and openly admits she has a raft of physical and mental health issues.



Me chasing for 15k to argue over won't make me any happier, but would crucify her as she's spent it all..... Why bother?

 

[newhere2learn]

Of course. As time goes on, we are learning how we wish to proceed. Finding the correct cage is paramount. As of now, our routine is to lock me up either Sunday night or Monday morning. I am allowed out everyday to clean and make sure no issues have arrived. I self lock after the shower. On Saturday morning, she unlocks me where I remain through the weekend for spur of the moment sex or play time.

Of course, this schedule is subject to change at any moment.

Oh, as a side note, I still am required to wash her every time we shower together.

Gosh I love this woman,

Sound beautiful, as long as it's what you both want and makes you happy.

 

[lady_jennaxx]

Tuesday morning bump...stay safe everyone

 

[Kitschshaman]

Tuesday morning bump...stay safe everyone

thanks so much for the bump, lady j...I come back here from time to time in the interest of excitation and perhaps hearing tidbits of wisdom regarding the dreams that seem to be on a never-ending loop in my head. Again, I appreciate more than you can know that the example of you and your partner prove that my visions can be made flesh (this fully understanding that in real life the situation is ever in flux depending upon the mood of each person, ideas that may occur on the spur of the moment...).

sending hot dreams and best wishes your way..
you stay safe as well...you are well-regarded here (I'm indulging in understatement)

 

[eroticspank]

Booty Call

Good idea to give this thread a bump

I have been thinking about sex----surprise I am a male----and wondering in a FLR if there is a point where some men feel like a Booty call when it comes to the bedroom scene?

I know every relationship is different but in general I am guessing that sex in a FLR is initiated by the woman. Since that is a reverse in roles, I can imagine that similar to women in the reverse role, some men MAY feel they are just around for a Booty call.

I will say that years ago as a young man, I was a "Booty Call" for an older woman. It lasted longer than I would have thought possible because at the time I was young and the sex was good. But even at that age, eventually I started to feel bad that I was not liked as a person. Not caring about my ideas, thoughts, making decisions with no input from me, rolling eyes about anything I said, etc.

So to be clear, my question is what do the women do in a FLR to make the man not feel like a Booty call? Even in the bedroom?

ES

 

[Scareltt]

Sometimes it’s scheduling so times it isn’t..

Good idea to give this thread a bump

I have been thinking about sex----surprise I am a male----and wondering in a FLR if there is a point where some men feel like a Booty call when it comes to the bedroom scene?

I know every relationship is different but in general I am guessing that sex in a FLR is initiated by the woman. Since that is a reverse in roles, I can imagine that similar to women in the reverse role, some men MAY feel they are just around for a Booty call.

I will say that years ago as a young man, I was a "Booty Call" for an older woman. It lasted longer than I would have thought possible because at the time I was young and the sex was good. But even at that age, eventually I started to feel bad that I was not liked as a person. Not caring about my ideas, thoughts, making decisions with no input from me, rolling eyes about anything I said, etc.

So to be clear, my question is what do the women do in a FLR to make the man not feel like a Booty call? Even in the bedroom?

ES

I think in all relationships (especially when everything else is so scheduled) sex also falls into the scheduled category. When we started I actually had my husband put stars on our calendar for days he wanted orgasms... hilarity ensued...

I set his number of orgasms at 3 and I decided how and when... we used the calendar. I was surprised at the comfort that gave him. I wasn’t sure if there would be any acting out or vented frustration, but their wasn’t..

Scheduling and shared calendars are common in a lot of marriages. We just might use ours a little different.

Also I need to add that guys seem to think that FLR’s or WLMs are all about sex. Because they aren’t... read some Lucy Fairbourne.

I also feel there has to be room to be spontaneous..

Last night for example, my husband went to bed after we watched a show together. He was tired and had to be at work early. I stayed up to get lesson plan for today ready.. it’s recess at the moment..

I came to bed about 1:30 and he spooned into me, not an uncommon thing. I also could tell that I wasn’t tired. I pushed into him (to see if he was sleeping or if he would react) he starting kissing the back of my neck, and I felt him getting hard. I rolled over to face him and said. “Mmmm this is a wonderful idea.”

It wasn’t a marathon session but we did both fall to sleep satisfied.

Was i the booty call in that situation?

 

[eroticspank]

I think in all relationships (especially when everything else is so scheduled) sex also falls into the scheduled category. When we started I actually had my husband put stars on our calendar for days he wanted orgasms... hilarity ensued...

I set his number of orgasms at 3 and I decided how and when... we used the calendar. I was surprised at the comfort that gave him. I wasn’t sure if there would be any acting out or vented frustration, but their wasn’t..

Scheduling and shared calendars are common in a lot of marriages. We just might use ours a little different.

Also I need to add that guys seem to think that FLR’s or WLMs are all about sex. Because they aren’t... read some Lucy Fairbourne.

I also feel there has to be room to be spontaneous..

Last night for example, my husband went to bed after we watched a show together. He was tired and had to be at work early. I stayed up to get lesson plan for today ready.. it’s recess at the moment..

I came to bed about 1:30 and he spooned into me, not an uncommon thing. I also could tell that I wasn’t tired. I pushed into him (to see if he was sleeping or if he would react) he starting kissing the back of my neck, and I felt him getting hard. I rolled over to face him and said. “Mmmm this is a wonderful idea.”

It wasn’t a marathon session but we did both fall to sleep satisfied.

Was i the booty call in that situation?

Hilarity ensued!! Very funny, and as usual you have great comments. I love the calendar idea, I like looking forward to things!

I would not say that you are the booty call in that last situation because you initiated the sex...meaning kissing him got him hard, then you gave him the "green light"....you clearly knew what you were doing. Having said all of that, my comments really mean very little because it is all about what is in both of your heads at the time. IF one person feels like it's a booty call then maybe it is or at least that is something you both need to deal with.

I agree with your comments about FLR is not all about sex. That is why I asked the question so thanks for your answer. I wonder what kind of things outside the bedroom make him feel close to you?

For me it can be little projects or cooking something---I am a cook--asking my advice, commenting about my nice ass, etc.

ES

 

[Subbalubbadubdub]

Just posted a question about Femdom that's in the same vein (I think). Wondering what works for everyone out there. Like Macymadison, being a switch works for me. No relationship is like another. There are women i'd love to bow down to, and women I'd never consider it with.

And in the end, i want someone who will communicate - both IRL and while lost in play.

If she's willing to indulge a fantasy or two from time to time great, but she's got to pull Her own weight emotionally and not just fall back on expectations set by some imaginary roles.

 

[lady_jennaxx]

Just posted a question about Femdom that's in the same vein (I think). Wondering what works for everyone out there. Like Macymadison, being a switch works for me. No relationship is like another. There are women i'd love to bow down to, and women I'd never consider it with.

And in the end, i want someone who will communicate - both IRL and while lost in play.

If she's willing to indulge a fantasy or two from time to time great, but she's got to pull Her own weight emotionally and not just fall back on expectations set by some imaginary roles.

You make some valid points Subbalub, the emotional component is equally important as the "play" aspect of any relationship. Sadly, not everyone grasps that.

 

[Kitschshaman]

A bump and a nod to our lovely thread leader. This thread deserves front and center on the board.

And an observation...in my eternal search for representations of what I personally view as the ideal, i.e. the loving and caring aspect of FLRs, I note that many of the stories and videos portray the relationship as being one of being mean, of humiliation (though this is prevalent in male dominant presentations as well) and abuse. I have had a difficult time locating literature or videos that present gentle dominance (which brings the willingness of the bottom to greater prominence, a source of great pleasure to me and the key to the power of relationship).

Just wondered how many folks share my search and observation...

xoxo

 

[eroticspank]

A bump and a nod to our lovely thread leader. This thread deserves front and center on the board.

And an observation...in my eternal search for representations of what I personally view as the ideal, i.e. the loving and caring aspect of FLRs, I note that many of the stories and videos portray the relationship as being one of being mean, of humiliation (though this is prevalent in male dominant presentations as well) and abuse. I have had a difficult time locating literature or videos that present gentle dominance (which brings the willingness of the bottom to greater prominence, a source of great pleasure to me and the key to the power of relationship).

Just wondered how many folks share my search and observation...

xoxo

Yes great point.

My initial thought is there is nothing out there and I wish there was...!

Actually, I feel the first problem is there are so many different variations and ideas of a FLR and its good merits you rarely see any thing out there in book form because it is about appealing to a larger group of people.

FLRs and representing them has been taken over by guy's fantasies and the porn industry so you rarely see female oriented videos and stories of FLRs.

I have seen some very good FLRs represented in books and in movies BUT they are not presented as FLRs---kind of in disguise. I read a book years ago that was mostly erotic fiction that had a very nice FLR dynamic that went into the gentle dominance you mention above. It was amazing how this woman was able to communicate her desires to her new partner learning to be her sub and mate. Example: If she liked impact play, she explained it to him, her feelings around it, and why he should do it for her. I certainly can't explain it like she did, but the way she did it and the words she used were amazing and seemed from deep inside her, from her heart. (The book was written by a woman---surprise!) I don't remember the name of the book.

ES

 

[IntheMindset]

Male chastity a prevalent theme from what I've read thus far. How popular is this with those experienced in this dynamic?

The chastity device is to enforce dominance over a man. It serves as a constant reminder of who is in control. Whether worn for a day or week of longer when you have it removed and are allowed to release it is incredible. It will have you thanking your Wife/Mistress profusely.

 

[Kitschshaman]

Yes great point.

My initial thought is there is nothing out there and I wish there was...!

Actually, I feel the first problem is there are so many different variations and ideas of a FLR and its good merits you rarely see any thing out there in book form because it is about appealing to a larger group of people.

FLRs and representing them has been taken over by guy's fantasies and the porn industry so you rarely see female oriented videos and stories of FLRs.

I have seen some very good FLRs represented in books and in movies BUT they are not presented as FLRs---kind of in disguise. I read a book years ago that was mostly erotic fiction that had a very nice FLR dynamic that went into the gentle dominance you mention above. It was amazing how this woman was able to communicate her desires to her new partner learning to be her sub and mate. Example: If she liked impact play, she explained it to him, her feelings around it, and why he should do it for her. I certainly can't explain it like she did, but the way she did it and the words she used were amazing and seemed from deep inside her, from her heart. (The book was written by a woman---surprise!) I don't remember the name of the book.

ES

Oh, you're killing me! Lol. Seriously, if you ever do recall the name of it, let me know. It sounds like a wonderful read.

 

[eroticspank]

Oh, you're killing me! Lol. Seriously, if you ever do recall the name of it, let me know. It sounds like a wonderful read.

I will do my best to research, but I have been looking for it/trying to remember it for a while now.

It is an erotic novel so not much real life relationship stuff that I remember. Most of what I remember is the woman/Domme getting her sub male to submit willingly in a non forceful way.

ES

 

[eroticspank]

Male chastity a prevalent theme from what I've read thus far. How popular is this with those experienced in this dynamic?

I have heard from several ladies out there that this is mainly a male fantasy thing and not many FLR women (or not as many as you would think) are into the male chastity thing.

I have not done it and have not been interested in it myself. I like the fact that my crotch and dick is always open for her whenever she wants it. The symbology of wearing a locked device does nothing for me.

ES