Cumming to quickly - is it just me?

[dannyboy1958]

Ive always had an issue with cumming to quickly, i think. I say I think as ive never had any complaints from past girlfriends and wives, past and present and consider myself a polite, courteous and thoughtful lover, always putting my partners pleasure first. I enjoy their satisfaction more than i perhaps do my own.

Ive always wanted to last longer but a minute and its all over, whereas i hear stories and speak with people who tell me tales of 45 minutes - 2 hours of play, be it penetration or general play being normal for them.

Are their really men around like that and even if its 15 minutes, what the secret? How can i make myself last longer or even recover quickly and cum again for my womens pleasure?

Ive tried Viagra but all it seemed to do was make me hard most of the next day, not hard hard, floppy log, im sure gentlemen will understand the expression.
Im about to try, at online doctors recommendation, a higher dose, so lets see, but im note sure that will delay my cumming.

I hear of fixes for everything so there must be a magic method, do you know what it is and have you any advise for me to make my and my wifes pleasure all the greater?

Gentlemen and ladies of lit I seek your advise.

 

[supercollider00]

Everything is about being able to pace yourself, and to be quite honest it only gets better when it lasts longer. Another trick which one can use if needed is to move your tongue towards the top of your mouth. For some weird reason, it helps with lasting longer. I remember reading that tip on some website years ago and thinking "how the hell can that work?" but it actually does. Another trick is really to just learn how your body reacts and then being able to control it more because of that.

I know numbing creams also exist, but I've never tried them since this hasn't been a serious issue for me.

 

[dannyboy1958]

Everything is about being able to pace yourself, and to be quite honest it only gets better when it lasts longer. Another trick which one can use if needed is to move your tongue towards the top of your mouth. For some weird reason, it helps with lasting longer. I remember reading that tip on some website years ago and thinking "how the hell can that work?" but it actually does. Another trick is really to just learn how your body reacts and then being able to control it more because of that.

I know numbing creams also exist, but I've never tried them since this hasn't been a serious issue for me.

thank you - I think the excitement of exciting her, excites me too much - ive tried delays sprays alone, which didnt work, but might with viagra.
Im curious as to why moving your tongue to the top of your mouth would work, is that during penetration? Ill certainly give it a try. Ill certainly take you advise on board body wise, thank you.

 

[dannyboy1958]

Can you not just finish things on your own before you start things with her?

Ill do anything to please her more, would prefer if we both enjoyed the moment together, she cums quite quickly and i can bring her to climax with my tongue or fingers,but i still feel lacking, like she would like some more, but dosent want to say anything for fear of hurting me.

 

[supercollider00]

thank you - I think the excitement of exciting her, excites me too much - ive tried delays sprays alone, which didnt work, but might with viagra.
Im curious as to why moving your tongue to the top of your mouth would work, is that during penetration? Ill certainly give it a try. Ill certainly take you advise on board body wise, thank you.

The tongue trick works for me whenever needed whether it's with penetration or orgasm denial, etc. Our bodies are rather bizarre sometimes but it's worth a try. A lot of people talk about thinking about other things, but for me it takes me out of the moment which I personally dislike.

 

[dannyboy1958]

The tongue trick works for me whenever needed whether it's with penetration or orgasm denial, etc. Our bodies are rather bizarre sometimes but it's worth a try. A lot of people talk about thinking about other things, but for me it takes me out of the moment which I personally dislike.

I certainly will give it a try and post my results

Yes i know what you mean about thinking about other things, weve an old beamed house and it can be fasinating just looking at why theres a notch or a mark on a beam, sounds weird but it is.
The ceiling and walls in the bedroom are the same and ive tried looking at those and thinking hard about t what that mark is etc, but it does take away the moment, dosnt really work - maybe ive a strange excitement fetish about oak beams

 

[WillJ8787]

Ive always had an issue with cumming to quickly, i think. I say I think as ive never had any complaints from past girlfriends and wives, past and present and consider myself a polite, courteous and thoughtful lover, always putting my partners pleasure first. I enjoy their satisfaction more than i perhaps do my own.

Ive always wanted to last longer but a minute and its all over, whereas i hear stories and speak with people who tell me tales of 45 minutes - 2 hours of play, be it penetration or general play being normal for them.

Are their really men around like that and even if its 15 minutes, what the secret? How can i make myself last longer or even recover quickly and cum again for my womens pleasure?

Ive tried Viagra but all it seemed to do was make me hard most of the next day, not hard hard, floppy log, im sure gentlemen will understand the expression.
Im about to try, at online doctors recommendation, a higher dose, so lets see, but im note sure that will delay my cumming.

I hear of fixes for everything so there must be a magic method, do you know what it is and have you any advise for me to make my and my wifes pleasure all the greater?

Gentlemen and ladies of lit I seek your advise.

The cock is a lot like a playing a musical instrument. It requires practice, practice, practice to get it right. Masturbate a lot. You can practice delaying your orgasms by stopping the stimulation when you feel like cumming. Learn which position are the most exciting for you and then break those up with breaks of foreplay and other less stimulating sex positions with your partner. In no time you'll be lasting longer than you imagined you could...good luck!

 

[Mtnmike]

If you try all these good ideas and still don't get the results you want, talk to your doctor and have them prescribe a low dosage anti depressant. Every guy I know that's been on them says it's a miracle medicine for it but have to be careful because to high a dose and it will kill your libido and erections all together.

 

[dannyboy1958]

The cock is a lot like a playing a musical instrument. It requires practice, practice, practice to get it right. Masturbate a lot. You can practice delaying your orgasms by stopping the stimulation when you feel like cumming. Learn which position are the most exciting for you and then break those up with breaks of foreplay and other less stimulating sex positions with your partner. In no time you'll be lasting longer than you imagined you could...good luck!

Thank you Will - I have tried the masturbate and stop technique with not a lot of success im afraid, positions , yes there are some which i find i can last a little longer, mix and match eh?

I am finding lately - if its the stress over covid 19 in general and how its affecting everything, that im very aroused at first touch from my wife, she sucks and masturbates until i feel that things might be happening, we stop and i concentrate on her, normally with my tongue, she reaches climax very quickly and pulls me toward her to finish me off i suspect out mutual respect for pleasing her - im finding that im very soft and its hard to get it up.
Maybe i being impatient and want to give her the pleasure of pleasing me and thats what we need to think through and as was suggested we should get me out of the way to leave her for her pleasure.
sorry ive rambled a little, hope it makes sense?

 

[magic_knirf]

"last longer" condoms

On days, where I'm very pre-excited, I take one of those thick "last longer" condoms. It helps. Also a rubber cock-ring may be a good idea.

 

[dannyboy1958]

On days, where I'm very pre-excited, I take one of those thick "last longer" condoms. It helps. Also a rubber cock-ring may be a good idea.

Thank you - Ive not explored condoms as ive been firing blanks for over 20 yesars, so no need for one - but i will check them out - it will also solve an issue that my wife has with sucking me - i want her to complete me until i cum, but she has a really strong gag reflex, so a magic condom might solve 2 issues there.
I do have a set of rubber cock rings but i find them really uncomfortable, whats your experience with using them, do you pop them on when flacid or wait until erect?

 

[Bigspurt]

Cumming

Edging helps me to train to lasting longer. I actually had a longer than usual session in the marital bed this past Wednesday. My demon is that if I stop when I am really at the edge, sometimes I will ooze a little semen. that in return creates a much slipperier place, be it a Tenga product or a vagina, and that usually sends me over the edge. Self made sloppy seconds!

I have been using rings for several years and they do provide a better erection but, at least for me, don't really make me last longer.

 

[Jada59]

This is interesting. I didn't always cum quickly but for most of my years, I have. I guess it's not so much of a problem unless the guy lasts a really long time and then I can get worn one. Had a BF years ago who tried to last as long as he could. That was usually for two hours. But within a minute or five, he'd be hard again. We often did this all weekend long. This was okay with me because he was really into me.

But my ex husband seemed to lose interest in sex quickly, yet he would plod on in a robotic fashion. This is not so good. I'd be thinking... Just cum already! But he couldn't. I learned after we were married that he actually hated sex and thought it was disgusting.

The BF who lasted a long time told me he read somewhere that married couples last for about two minutes each time they have sex. That doesn't include foreplay.

As for the tongue on the top of the mouth, this will stop an ice cream headache. But it is also used in Pranic Healing. You place your tongue there and breathe slowly in and out at a certain pace. I have been working on the healing so much that I tend to place my tongue there often. I'm doing it now. It seems to help me concentrate and slow down. Works well if I am feeling stressed. Will have to try it during sex and see what effect it has on me!

You might try a cock ring or strap. Or you might try different positions and mixing things up a bit. The last guy I was with would change to something else when he got close to cumming. I can't say how long he normally lasts though. The first time was about an hour of various things. The last time had to be a quickie so maybe 5 minutes if that.

 

[carln3346]

I don't know if this is an option for you, but a little weed helps.

 

[IsItBad]

control

i didn't look at your profile so i am not sure how old you are
as a very young man it was super hard not to cum pretty quickly
but.....it is truly a learned discipline.....a matter of control
eroticism and arousal lives most in the major sex organ between your ears
you have to learn to be totally present.....and then back away
it generally takes most females longer to cum than most guys
and while there shouldn't be any hard rules
generally, in my humble opinion, most times the guy should not cum until the girl does
yes, sometimes, in the best of times....ones cock may just stay rock hard through several orgasms in which case......let her rip
but....more times than not.....once that initial load is blown....the ole cock is going down at least somewhat
and most girls want/need a nice firm cock doing its job til they get where they are going
so...you check out in your mind....its working, things are feeling good....all systems are go....she is obviously pleased and blissfully working towards orgasm.......as for me, and im sure all men are different, i go to work....a mental checklist of what all i need to do soon........it is a balancing act.....to stay in the moment and rigid......and making the right moves....but be mentally distant a bit......i run lists of chores needing to be done.......i think of the latest ballgame....whatever.....any and everything....just enough to take the focus off of my throbbing head and aching cock that wants nothing but to explode instantly deep inside her.....but it can be learned.....the balancing act.....and it can also be learned to have yourself right on the edge....so that the minute you see the look on her face or feel the spasms start inside her......you are ready to go with her....and you both cum massively together.....couples should be able to work that out so that as often as not they can cum together

but....don't be discouraged....just start to experiment in your mind....with your mind.....

also....when you jack off.....make it last....make sure you are not in a hurry....and learn to take yourself to the edge and then back away a bit.....that is also a great way to learn control.....

but yes.....time to time you should be able to fuck for a while....whether its 45 minutes or half an hour or even longer......its all a function of your mind

 

[dannyboy1958]

If you try all these good ideas and still don't get the results you want, talk to your doctor and have them prescribe a low dosage anti depressant. Every guy I know that's been on them says it's a miracle medicine for it but have to be careful because to high a dose and it will kill your libido and erections all together.

Thanks Mike - Ill think that one through, im not a great lover of too much medication, especially heavy stuff like anti-depressants - but thank you.

 

[dannyboy1958]

Edging helps me to train to lasting longer. I actually had a longer than usual session in the marital bed this past Wednesday. My demon is that if I stop when I am really at the edge, sometimes I will ooze a little semen. that in return creates a much slipperier place, be it a Tenga product or a vagina, and that usually sends me over the edge. Self made sloppy seconds!

I have been using rings for several years and they do provide a better erection but, at least for me, don't really make me last longer.

edging is pulling out after penetration?

 

[dannyboy1958]

This is interesting. I didn't always cum quickly but for most of my years, I have. I guess it's not so much of a problem unless the guy lasts a really long time and then I can get worn one. Had a BF years ago who tried to last as long as he could. That was usually for two hours. But within a minute or five, he'd be hard again. We often did this all weekend long. This was okay with me because he was really into me.

But my ex husband seemed to lose interest in sex quickly, yet he would plod on in a robotic fashion. This is not so good. I'd be thinking... Just cum already! But he couldn't. I learned after we were married that he actually hated sex and thought it was disgusting.

The BF who lasted a long time told me he read somewhere that married couples last for about two minutes each time they have sex. That doesn't include foreplay.

As for the tongue on the top of the mouth, this will stop an ice cream headache. But it is also used in Pranic Healing. You place your tongue there and breathe slowly in and out at a certain pace. I have been working on the healing so much that I tend to place my tongue there often. I'm doing it now. It seems to help me concentrate and slow down. Works well if I am feeling stressed. Will have to try it during sex and see what effect it has on me!

You might try a cock ring or strap. Or you might try different positions and mixing things up a bit. The last guy I was with would change to something else when he got close to cumming. I can't say how long he normally lasts though. The first time was about an hour of various things. The last time had to be a quickie so maybe 5 minutes if that.

Thank you for taking the time to offer a good rounded set of possible solutions, i really appreciate it. from a womens point of view do you enjoy penetration for prolonged periods? what kid of time or does it depend on mood etc?
a 2 hour session sounds exhausting? i can only dream of that kind of performance

 

[dannyboy1958]

You could try one of those desensitizing lubes, maybe? I've never used them and I would imagine it would make her less sensitive, too, so not sure about that one.

Condoms are a good suggestion if you want to last longer, but it will feel worse for both of you.

Maybe this sounds dumb, but for me if I feel like I'm getting close and don't want to cum yet I'll just slow down, or stop completely while I'm in her and just focus on her clit with my fingers for a minute or two. Does that not work for you? Are you hitting that point of no return in only a few seconds and you'd be starting and stopping the entire time?



Edging is when you bring yourself as close as you can to the point of orgasm and then stop right before you cum, until the feeling subsides. You keep doing that until you can't take it anymore.

Ok thank you - i think for me the time between " im about to cum " and "im cumming " is too short for me to withdraw, or do i have the will power to withdraw? I suspect a that point of being ready to cum, id have cum as soon as i withdraw. But i will try.

With all these suggestions from you kind folk - looks like ive got a busy weekend ;-)

 

[dannyboy1958]

I don't know if this is an option for you, but a little weed helps.

Ha ha - gave up smoking many years ago im afraid.

 

[dannyboy1958]

Maybe some people go for 2 hours, but I can't remember the last time I had sex for longer than 45 minutes, tops. You both get raw and sore...

I could see a "session" lasting for 2 hours, including foreplay, oral, etc. but 2 hours of PIV sounds painful, honestly. And damn don't y'all have shit you gotta get done during the day?

Yes - I can imagine - Ive had sessions that last for many hours, we i was younger but time , as you point out, dot always allow that these days, so a quickie is as good as it gets, in my case a very quickie - but i will work on my techniques to at leas offer a 10 or 15 minute penetrative session with a lot of foreplay and after play thrown in
thanks
.

 

[dannyboy1958]

i didn't look at your profile so i am not sure how old you are
as a very young man it was super hard not to cum pretty quickly
but.....it is truly a learned discipline.....a matter of control
eroticism and arousal lives most in the major sex organ between your ears
you have to learn to be totally present.....and then back away
it generally takes most females longer to cum than most guys
and while there shouldn't be any hard rules
generally, in my humble opinion, most times the guy should not cum until the girl does
yes, sometimes, in the best of times....ones cock may just stay rock hard through several orgasms in which case......let her rip
but....more times than not.....once that initial load is blown....the ole cock is going down at least somewhat
and most girls want/need a nice firm cock doing its job til they get where they are going
so...you check out in your mind....its working, things are feeling good....all systems are go....she is obviously pleased and blissfully working towards orgasm.......as for me, and im sure all men are different, i go to work....a mental checklist of what all i need to do soon........it is a balancing act.....to stay in the moment and rigid......and making the right moves....but be mentally distant a bit......i run lists of chores needing to be done.......i think of the latest ballgame....whatever.....any and everything....just enough to take the focus off of my throbbing head and aching cock that wants nothing but to explode instantly deep inside her.....but it can be learned.....the balancing act.....and it can also be learned to have yourself right on the edge....so that the minute you see the look on her face or feel the spasms start inside her......you are ready to go with her....and you both cum massively together.....couples should be able to work that out so that as often as not they can cum together

but....don't be discouraged....just start to experiment in your mind....with your mind.....

also....when you jack off.....make it last....make sure you are not in a hurry....and learn to take yourself to the edge and then back away a bit.....that is also a great way to learn control.....

but yes.....time to time you should be able to fuck for a while....whether its 45 minutes or half an hour or even longer......its all a function of your mind

wow - thanks for all that a lot to take in.

Was there any one thing that made a dramatic difference for you? that made it last longe or was it just time?

 

[hogjack]

I just imagine the hosts of The View. That will stop any orgasm but don't totally focus on that image... or the erection will also disappear.

 

[dannyboy1958]

I just imagine the hosts of The View. That will stop any orgasm but don't totally focus on that image... or the erection will also disappear.

thanks for your comment, dont quite follow - The view?

 

[letmeontopforfun]

Of course, there is another way not to get all stressed out over this. Go into your love making with the idea that you are not going to fuck. Yes, not even the slightest thought. Grab onto and hold the view that you are only going to pleasure your lady with the goal of multiple orgasms. Your mouth, tongue, lips, fingers even a favorite toy. And when you see her laying there flushed from her orgasms, know that you have done your best work.