A no-contact boyfriend, ideal for social distancing

[warmstar2121]

Given all the problems going on in the world today and the social distancing that is uncertain to end, plus the fact that reliable testing is still not available, I've decided to seek out a no-contact relationship and offer myself up as a no-contact boyfriend.

Allow me to explain the benefits of a no-contact boyfriend... First off, in order maintain safe social distancing, we will communicate electronically (via Kik, Hangouts, Discord, etc...) with one another. We can talk about our day under self-quarrantine, share what we've watched on Netflix and even being virtually intimate together.

As our no-contact relationship develops, we can plan for all the things we want to do together once quarrantine orders have ended and we deem it's safe to 'actually' meet one another. I feel like this will be an exciting moment with all the pent up longing we'll have developed for one another.

I don't have a very strict list of qualities that im looking for in a potential no-contact girlfriend. Mainly, someone who feels they are intelligent, articulate, and a little edgy. A sense of humor is a must though, and she should not be a stranger to sarcasm. Since this relationship will be remote for the time being, she must be articulate with a decent grasp of spelling and grammar.

I am an intelligent, handsome (and humble) professional who is probably running a bit stir crazy in recent weeks (all work and no play make Homer something something). When I'm not working from home I enjoy reading, listening to music and reminiscing of going out doors for more than a jog that is safely distant from others.

Looking forward to hearing from you and stay safe!

 

[NiceNastyMann]

On the plus side - no exchange of precious bodily fluids.

On the minus side - no exchange of precious bodily fluids.

 

[mr_d_w]

(all work and no play make Homer something something).

.. go crazy?

 

[Starlightblue]

You learn something new everyday

First I've heard of this expression.... No contact mmmm

Good luck with your search

 

[Sweet_Cupcake]

I think this is highly responsible -- so I am giving you a bump back to page 1.

 

[warmstar2121]

.. go crazy?

Don't mind if I do!

 

[10169kek]

First I've heard of this expression.... No contact mmmm

Good luck with your search

Sounds like my marriage for the last 9 years ....

 

[hogjack]

How about a no contact, no communication, and no genitals required boyfriend?

With low expectations and no way to confirm or communicate anything at all this relationship would thrive.

 

[warmstar2121]

How about a no contact, no communication, and no genitals required boyfriend?

With low expectations and no way to confirm or communicate anything at all this relationship would thrive.

Now you're taking it too far! Lol

 

[Scareltt]

First Date..

I have a first date tonight and it’s going to be on Zoom!

He has ordered me food that will be delivered to my house at 6:30 tonight. I don’t know where it’s from.

He asked if I ate meat, if I was okay with fried appetizers, and if I was a chocolate or vanilla girl..

Yes I eat meat, of course I enjoy fried food. However I had to mess with him over the chocolate or vanilla part...

So it’s going to be interesting..

I have to admit, up until now I was sort of blah about it, but now I’m sort of excited..

Fingers crossed..

 

[warmstar2121]

I have a first date tonight and it’s going to be on Zoom!.

Good luck on your no-contact date!

 

[MrDevereaux]

This sounds fantastic compared to my ‘date’ the other day!

I have a first date tonight and it’s going to be on Zoom!

He has ordered me food that will be delivered to my house at 6:30 tonight. I don’t know where it’s from.

He asked if I ate meat, if I was okay with fried appetizers, and if I was a chocolate or vanilla girl..

Yes I eat meat, of course I enjoy fried food. However I had to mess with him over the chocolate or vanilla part...

So it’s going to be interesting..

I have to admit, up until now I was sort of blah about it, but now I’m sort of excited..

Fingers crossed..

 

[Scareltt]

Well now I gave to ask...

This sounds fantastic compared to my ‘date’ the other day!

I’m sorry to read this. What happened?

 

[beachguyinflorida]

And no worries of a social disease

 

[warmstar2121]

And no worries of a social disease

See? So many benefits!

 

[Booboobear84]

I appreciate the good humor and positivity of this thread.

 

[Euphonic]

Given all the problems going on in the world today and the social distancing that is uncertain to end, plus the fact that reliable testing is still not available, I've decided to seek out a no-contact relationship and offer myself up as a no-contact boyfriend.

Allow me to explain the benefits of a no-contact boyfriend... First off, in order maintain safe social distancing, we will communicate electronically (via Kik, Hangouts, Discord, etc...) with one another. We can talk about our day under self-quarrantine, share what we've watched on Netflix and even being virtually intimate together.

As our no-contact relationship develops, we can plan for all the things we want to do together once quarrantine orders have ended and we deem it's safe to 'actually' meet one another. I feel like this will be an exciting moment with all the pent up longing we'll have developed for one another.

I don't have a very strict list of qualities that im looking for in a potential no-contact girlfriend. Mainly, someone who feels they are intelligent, articulate, and a little edgy. A sense of humor is a must though, and she should not be a stranger to sarcasm. Since this relationship will be remote for the time being, she must be articulate with a decent grasp of spelling and grammar.

I am an intelligent, handsome (and humble) professional who is probably running a bit stir crazy in recent weeks (all work and no play make Homer something something). When I'm not working from home I enjoy reading, listening to music and reminiscing of going out doors for more than a jog that is safely distant from others.

Looking forward to hearing from you and stay safe!

Okay, I’m laughing. Have you read the stories on this site? Grammar is next to nonexistent, spelling is questionable and forget about paragraphs and punctuation.

So, good luck.

 

[Jada59]

The sad thing is... I already have one of those. He's local. We don't have much to talk about because we can't go anywhere. I'm learning Spanish. He's from Honduras so the Spanish might help me. Otherwise, we're both going f-ing nuts! We seed sex!!!!

 

[voyfun]

Sounds exciting

I have a first date tonight and it’s going to be on Zoom!

He has ordered me food that will be delivered to my house at 6:30 tonight. I don’t know where it’s from.

He asked if I ate meat, if I was okay with fried appetizers, and if I was a chocolate or vanilla girl..

Yes I eat meat, of course I enjoy fried food. However I had to mess with him over the chocolate or vanilla part...

So it’s going to be interesting..

I have to admit, up until now I was sort of blah about it, but now I’m sort of excited..

Fingers crossed..

Hope your date went well, with that much thought and planning...I bet you guys had a great time

 

[Scareltt]

It was nice... still a touch awkward.

Hope your date went well, with that much thought and planning...I bet you guys had a great time

My food showed up an hour early. I was getting ready in my bathroom. I was able to unbox it and repackage it. Then I googled how to reheat everything.

I didn’t want to open the bottle of wine he sent me, but I did open my own.

Toasted Ravioli
Large salad
Filet Mignon
Wild mushroom risotto
Chocolate pie

The conversation was good, and I do feel like we connected on a different level.

I guess I’ll see what happens when he texts/calls/or emails...

 

[MrDevereaux]

That’s a decent menu! Was the wine not to your liking, or a preference for your own?

Your instinct will tell you if he’ll get in touch. I hope he does get in touch and want to go for a real date once lockdown finishes.

Did he appreciate the effort you went to?

 

[Booboobear84]

My food showed up an hour early. I was getting ready in my bathroom. I was able to unbox it and repackage it. Then I googled how to reheat everything.

I didn’t want to open the bottle of wine he sent me, but I did open my own.

Toasted Ravioli
Large salad
Filet Mignon
Wild mushroom risotto
Chocolate pie

The conversation was good, and I do feel like we connected on a different level.

I guess I’ll see what happens when he texts/calls/or emails...

Thank you for sharing this. So hope this goes well.

 

[Scareltt]

I was a good girl..

That’s a decent menu! Was the wine not to your liking, or a preference for your own?

Your instinct will tell you if he’ll get in touch. I hope he does get in touch and want to go for a real date once lockdown finishes.

Did he appreciate the effort you went to?

I waited to open the wine he sent until we were actually having a conversation.

 

[voyfun]

Wonderful

My food showed up an hour early. I was getting ready in my bathroom. I was able to unbox it and repackage it. Then I googled how to reheat everything.

I didn’t want to open the bottle of wine he sent me, but I did open my own.

Toasted Ravioli
Large salad
Filet Mignon
Wild mushroom risotto
Chocolate pie

The conversation was good, and I do feel like we connected on a different level.

I guess I’ll see what happens when he texts/calls/or emails...

It sounds like a great first date, seems like a fun adventure ahead, is he close enough to visit you when all this shut down ends

 

[MrDevereaux]

I waited to open the wine he sent until we were actually having a conversation.

That’s quite sweet. Enjoying the wine with him, focussing on the flavours. You can make a lot out of the statement.

Hope it goes well for you