How to meet women

[eroticageek]

I feel like most people figure this out and somehow I just haven't.

I'm 27, male, and have basically been single my whole life.

I'm a college grad, have a "real" job, work out, don't live in my parent's basement, don't smoke, and don't spend all my free time playing video games/watching TV.

Supposedly, women want all these things. What don't I have?

Maybe I'm not doing enough to meet women. I've tried online dating, specifically Match and Hinge, but been pretty disappointed by the results. I have tried to be accommodating/understanding/non-judgemental, and sat through dates with women who are overweight (basically 90% of Hinge), smoke, live with their parents in their 30s, and even state that they are "boring" during dates (why would someone say that about themselves?).
You'll have to excuse my horribly elitist attitude, but this doesn't exactly feel like the creme of the crop, and very far from the kind of person I would like to spend my life with. I would expect any woman to feel the same way if the situation were reversed. Needless to say I don't think online dating is worth continuing.

How about real life? In the past few years I have drifted between various hobbies and groups, but encounter virtually no women my age. There are many middle aged people, and guys, but no women in their 20s.
Where do women my age hang out in real life? What kind of groups and clubs are they part of?

Meanwhile, I know various guys who are some combination of overweight, living in their parents basement, working kind of dead end jobs, or just don't get out, yet are in relationships. Good for them, but (elitist attitude again) if they can do it, shouldn't I be swimming in ladies?

I keep reading that there are way more women with college degrees than men, and women can't find a guy or whatever. I'll believe it when I see it. I'm right here ladies, come at me.

Located in Detroit, if that makes a difference.

 

[LWulf]

Plays "Time" by Pink Floyd (read the lyrics)

It would be nice to be a flower for women to just stroll along, and pick up while thinking "isn't this a lovely one? I think I'll keep it."

However, that's not reality. It might sound too contrived, or mechanized, but you HAVE to schedule your time to have fun. It sounds like you don't know how to relax and have fun.

First, FUCK online dating. Biggest waste of your time looking for someone. No one else will probably have the balls to say it, but there. I just did.
If you can get 2-3 LIVE hits per week where you meet up with someone IN PERSON, then maybe it's worth it, otherwise...

Second, like I said before, relax and have fun. Know what catches a lot of girl's interest? a) Guys that are fun, b) Guys who know how to have fun c) Guys that are relaxed and just want to have fun. Do you see a motif there?

Why? Because; Girls Just Want to have Fun!

Let's reassess: You got the bait; a good job, a college degree (so the potential to have a good salary) you work out, so you're relatively fit, now... where the lure? You need to allure vimens with a lure. What makes you stand out from all the other college grad/good job/work-out cookie cutter types?

That, no one else can tell you. You have to figure it out for yourself.

Also, the truest thing has never been said, you'll find what you're after, when you stop looking. The point being if you are so intent at looking around, you'll miss out on a lot of opportunities.

Common places to find women, is on ladies night at a local bar. If you don't like bars, go to a night club (Vimens like to dance with a guy to see how they'll do in bed (wild and crazy dancing isn't such a bad thing (just don't start slam dancing with the guys alongside you or she'll think... ). If that doesn't seem like much difference from the first suggestion, then there is bowling leagues, and church. Believe it or not, there's usually a nice, busybody, older woman who matchmakes young people in church.

 

[LWulf]

Did I just get one/two punched by a spam bot?

 

[jaF0]

Just walk down the street .... naked. You'll get the attention of lots of people. You might even meet a woman with handcuffs.

 

[eroticageek]

Just walk down the street .... naked. You'll get the attention of lots of people. You might even meet a woman with handcuffs.

Could be interesting

 

[TarnishedPenny]

I could say that going to bars or clubs right now would be a really good way to meet a lot of nurses in a week or two, but we'll let that go by.

OK, how to meet women (post COVID, of course)?

First off, let's get real. You don't just want to meet a woman. You have expectations of what your dream girl is - and I'm speaking mainly in terms mainly of personality, character, interests, etc. You can't spend all your time in bed... Seriously, give some thought to this; it'll make your search easier later on.

Specific suggestions:

• I wish I could say rent or borrow a baby, because nothing - nothing - draws women in public like a baby. Sadly, I think the infant rental industry is in decline. So consider getting a dog. Go walking. Dog owners talk.
  
• Check out the local gyms, especially in things like dance fitness, Zoomba, etc.
  
• Consider taking a dance class, maybe even something like balet. Feels a little awkward? It's OK, you're there for the experience, not to compete with the Bolshoi. And I'll bet there are a lot of girls there - and ones interested in not being sloppy fat.
  
• Volunteer. It costs nothing, helps the community and builds up karma points. Obviously, volunteering at the local race track isn't the best choice, so look around. Get involved with a political party - many women volunteer there.
  
• Go back to school, even doing a casual night class once a week. Again, course choice is important. Cooking classes are excellent, for instance.
  
• In all such things, keep in mind that even if the other people there aren't your dream girl, they might well know her. Networking works.
  
• Speed dating has a good reputation. You get to meet people with no expectation beyond five minutes' chat.
  
• If you're a student, even part-time, university clubs open up. Even if you aren't, I know quite a few women who enjoy archery, hiking, skiing and other such individual sports.
  
• OK, an off-the-wall one. If you're in reasonably good shape, consider modeling for the local art school. Nude if necessary.
  
• If your city is scary at night, offer to escort women home from work. Some cities have that sort of service.

Above all, break out of the box, stop looking randomly, think about this before you leave the apartment.

Good luck.

 

[eroticageek]

It would be nice to be a flower for women to just stroll along, and pick up while thinking "isn't this a lovely one? I think I'll keep it."

However, that's not reality. It might sound too contrived, or mechanized, but you HAVE to schedule your time to have fun. It sounds like you don't know how to relax and have fun.

First, FUCK online dating. Biggest waste of your time looking for someone. No one else will probably have the balls to say it, but there. I just did.
If you can get 2-3 LIVE hits per week where you meet up with someone IN PERSON, then maybe it's worth it, otherwise...

Second, like I said before, relax and have fun. Know what catches a lot of girl's interest? a) Guys that are fun, b) Guys who know how to have fun c) Guys that are relaxed and just want to have fun. Do you see a motif there?

Why? Because; Girls Just Want to have Fun!

Let's reassess: You got the bait; a good job, a college degree (so the potential to have a good salary) you work out, so you're relatively fit, now... where the lure? You need to allure vimens with a lure. What makes you stand out from all the other college grad/good job/work-out cookie cutter types?

That, no one else can tell you. You have to figure it out for yourself.

Also, the truest thing has never been said, you'll find what you're after, when you stop looking. The point being if you are so intent at looking around, you'll miss out on a lot of opportunities.

Common places to find women, is on ladies night at a local bar. If you don't like bars, go to a night club (Vimens like to dance with a guy to see how they'll do in bed (wild and crazy dancing isn't such a bad thing (just don't start slam dancing with the guys alongside you or she'll think... ). If that doesn't seem like much difference from the first suggestion, then there is bowling leagues, and church. Believe it or not, there's usually a nice, busybody, older woman who matchmakes young people in church.

I have plenty of fun, but the rest of this advice seems good. Of course, I'm not religious, so that removes one source. I thought dance as well, but like I said, I've been in several classes at community college and so forth, and really haven't encountered more than a handful; it just feels like an inefficient way to search.

 

[CandK_inSE]

I was once a 27 year old virgin, so hopefully I can help.

I did meet girls/women online, but things were so much different in the late 1990s and early 2000s. You actually had to be able to carry on a conversation and communicate well. These days, I’ve gathered it’s a minefield.

I tried speed dating. For me, it didn’t really work. That’s all about first impressions. Doesn’t matter if you can talk, if you don’t have a “look”, forget it.

I tried joining groups, didn’t work for me, but it does supposedly work.

Church? You could either meet the greatest girl in the world, or, you meet a crazy one. If you meet the latter, one of you has to leave, or it becomes uncomfortable.

Yes, walk a dog.

Volunteering with a political party is a great idea. When I got involved with the Young ********** after I was married, I noticed many very attractive young females. I’ve aged out, but I’m still Facebook friends with many from that time, and still follow it. There are some absolute stone cold foxes there.

The biggest thing, you just have to be yourself.

 

[naughtymind]

So the way I look at this isn’t so much how to meet women, but how do you meet compatible women. I think your best chances there would be via your interests and hobbies. If you don’t have much that you are really passionate about, then it’s much less likely that a woman will recognize something in you that is appealing. If you do have some interests, dig into them a bit more and open yourself up to whatever social circles may be involved. Could be nearly anything, but it’s only really helpful if you are being honest with yourself. It sounds to me like you are blindly just grasping at straws, which technically could work, but there is so much potential for either lack of connection or entering a relationship with some fundamental issues that will doom it to fail. Sometimes to much outward focus can backfire because it limits you from just being you. Good luck

 

[Bramblethorn]

I have plenty of fun, but the rest of this advice seems good. Of course, I'm not religious, so that removes one source. I thought dance as well, but like I said, I've been in several classes at community college and so forth, and really haven't encountered more than a handful; it just feels like an inefficient way to search.

Whichever of those suggestions you take, make sure it's something you're going to enjoy doing. If you're just there to find women... that gives off a certain vibe, and it's not attractive. If you're doing something fun, then even if you don't meet the right woman there, at least you're not wasting your time.

TP's list is pretty good. Another I'd suggest, if it fits your interests, is theatre.

In all such things, keep in mind that even if the other people there aren't your dream girl, they might well know her. Networking works.

Ayup. Friend-of-a-friend is a powerful force.

Speaking of which, you might also ask female friends for advice on all this.

If your city is scary at night, offer to escort women home from work. Some cities have that sort of service.

If it's through an organised service, that's a fine idea. I'd be careful about just volunteering to women who haven't requested it, unless you know them well - even well-meant offers can be creepy to the recipient, because the "nice guy" who offers to escort a woman home can be just as much a danger as the hypothetical stranger-in-an-alley.

In particular, if you only do this for women who seem like attractive/available prospects, that may give a bad vibe.

 

[SimonDoom]

Get involved in activities you like so you can meet a woman with compatible interests. For example, I like to run, and there are many running groups and many attractive women who run. Getting involved in a running group is a great way to meet women.

I'll second what Bramblethorn said: you MUST avoid giving off the vibe that you are looking for women. In fact, while it's a generalization and all generalizations have exceptions, I think it's true, generally, that women are attracted to the opposite: a guy who acts like he's not too interested or too needy.

There was a movie that came out 20 years ago called The Tao of Steve in which the protagonist is an overweight kindergarten teacher who's not particularly good looking but scores with women. His secret is a formula that, in my view, has a kernel of truth to it. It is:

1. Purge yourself of all evidence of desire.
2. Do something excellent in her presence and get her attention.
3. Then, retreat

It's silly and exaggerated, but there's some truth to it. Women are interested in men who don't give off the appearance of being too interested in them.

In the case of online dating, with which I've had quite a bit of success, a key is to catch her attention by being clever or funny or showing that you've paid attention to her profile in some way, but without seeming TOO interested. You want to give off the vibe that other women probably are interested in you, you've got your options, and you're not desperate. Don't respond too quickly. If you have a first date and it goes well, don't follow up too quickly. Make her wonder a little. It makes you more attractive.

 

[Vix_Giovanni]

I was explaining this to a guy friend a few weeks ago...

I feel like most people figure this out and somehow I just haven't.

I'm 27, male, and have basically been single my whole life.

I'm a college grad, have a "real" job, work out, don't live in my parent's basement, don't smoke, and don't spend all my free time playing video games/watching TV.

Supposedly, women want all these things. What don't I have?

Maybe I'm not doing enough to meet women. I've tried online dating, specifically Match and Hinge, but been pretty disappointed by the results. I have tried to be accommodating/understanding/non-judgemental, and sat through dates with women who are overweight (basically 90% of Hinge), smoke, live with their parents in their 30s, and even state that they are "boring" during dates (why would someone say that about themselves?).
You'll have to excuse my horribly elitist attitude, but this doesn't exactly feel like the creme of the crop, and very far from the kind of person I would like to spend my life with. I would expect any woman to feel the same way if the situation were reversed. Needless to say I don't think online dating is worth continuing.

How about real life? In the past few years I have drifted between various hobbies and groups, but encounter virtually no women my age. There are many middle aged people, and guys, but no women in their 20s.
Where do women my age hang out in real life? What kind of groups and clubs are they part of?

Meanwhile, I know various guys who are some combination of overweight, living in their parents basement, working kind of dead end jobs, or just don't get out, yet are in relationships. Good for them, but (elitist attitude again) if they can do it, shouldn't I be swimming in ladies?

I keep reading that there are way more women with college degrees than men, and women can't find a guy or whatever. I'll believe it when I see it. I'm right here ladies, come at me.

Located in Detroit, if that makes a difference.

Oh, well, there you go—you’re in Detroit! j/k... despite all the COVID19 stuff, I've actually heard that downtown Detroit is supposed to be the spot these days.

I just want to preface my comments by saying that I apologize in advance for anything I’ve misunderstood in your post or taken out of context; please take my input with a grain of salt. Communicating through an online forum makes it hard to gauge tone and context. Everything I'm writing is just my opinion and two cents based on my experiences (and so long because, like everybody else, I'm stuck at home with nothing to do ).

Ok, that being said... I read your post, and it felt to me like what TP pointed out: it doesn't seem like you're just looking for any average or above average girl. To me, it sounds like you've met and dismissed a lot of average girls so far. That’s my assumption because you mentioned multiple times that you feel kind of "elitist" about your situation; that you're trying to not feel "judgmental" of the girls you’ve met for being overweight or boring (side note fwiw, girls sometimes say they’re boring as humblebrag; it’s one of our weird ways of talking) and you're trying to be "understanding" and "accommodating" of them for not being up to your standards as "creme of the crop". It sounds like you’ve got your sights set on a “dreamgirl” type—a dime piece—and that it’s not so much that you have a problem finding women per se, but that you have a problem finding dimes.

If that’s the case, then I just want to put it out there: girls have our own barometers too. Girls who are tens know we're tens (heck, a lot of girls who are sixes think they’re tens!) and girls who're at least eight or better expect to land guys who are at minimum a twelve. It doesn't always happen—a lot of my friends who assumed they'd marry an athlete or celebrity or something are now approaching thirty and coming to grips with the reality that "bad bitches" like themselves are, pun intended, actually a dime a dozen. Nonetheless, girls are just as judgmental and picky as guys, so it may simply be that the girls that you think you want to attract don’t consider you to be on their radar.

To change that, you just have to get on their radar. In my experience, there’s two things I'd say you should do to do that: the first is to go where they are. It seems like you've already said that you're not meeting them just by doing hobbies or meetups and tbh, that's pretty much exactly what I would have expected. That's not where dime pieces go. And I know this isn't a popular thing to say, but it's true that the easiest way to get around them is to spend money to be around them. Personally, if you feel like you’re having trouble finding them, I would think of money spent as investment in your future

For example, if you’re working out, say, at home, you need to go to a gym. If you can afford to, join a place like Equinox (or if you don’t have Equinox in Detroit, then go to a similar type of gym, like LA Fitness) and go to group classes; you’ll be surrounded by models and wannabe models. You can meet lots of average, fit, friendly girls at regular gyms: dime pieces go to elite gyms because they get incentives from the gyms and, often, can write the costs off, too, as something work-related.

You also need to go out with your friends to the coolest bars and clubs during the busiest party hours and pay to book a VIP table. Average girls go to bars and clubs on regular nights, and if you're savvy you can meet a nice, fun girl any night out. But if you're trying to get a dime, you need to understand that the likely reason she's even going to the bar or club in the first place is because some manager, or club owner or celebrity texted her and asked her to come. She won't be in the area where regular party-goers are hanging out; she'll be in the VIP section, so you will need to be there too.

When you see a gorgeous woman you really like, you need to buy drinks not just for her, but drinks for her entire crew (or bottles if you think you can coax them all to your table). Again, an average girl will feel flattered that you bought her drink, and she'll make time for you because of the gesture. But a dime piece will already be in the bar/club partying and drinking for free, and so you have to go over the top to get her attention.

It's nice that you're getting out and doing hobbies and things you like; I agree with everyone else that's pointed out that it's important to do things that interest you if you want to meet people, in general. But if you're interested in meeting a certain type of girl, you need to also go to things like sporting events and shows and concerts and buy courtside seats and backstage passes and suites. Dimes are overflowing in these arenas; even if they are seated in the nosebleed sections themselves, ushers and security and building staff will usually let them go wherever they want, at minimum to just walk back and forth in front of the artists or athletes. If you can afford it, buy an extra ticket and hold on to it for a girl you see that you like.

If you spend money to go to these kinds of places, then you will run into those kinds of girls in droves, because they are present en masse at such places. But once you meet a dime piece, the real question is, why should she be interested in you? You described a lot of things about your exterior—that you don’t live at home, you workout, you have a good job and a degree and don't spend too much time playing video games—but you didn’t say much about your interior.

That's what's interesting to girls!

What are your values? What makes you laugh; more importantly, what makes you feel deeply enough to cry? What would you give up to make someone else happy? What are you not judgmental about (cause it sounds like there's a lot that you're judge hard about)? There’s a lot of science that shows it’s more important to relate to someone over fundamental values than to relate over shared hobbies and interests. If you aren’t relating to women you meet, then maybe you’re not letting yourself come across authentically; maybe you’re being too shy, or maybe you're getting too defensive.

If you want to be attractive to dimes, you have to be authentic! That's the second thing. The sheer volume of attention and level of assholery that beautiful/sexy women encounter on a daily basis would blow men's minds. So if you come across as in any way not worth the time, it's just an immediate mental turnoff because, sorrynotsorry, it's very tiring to deal with a lot of attention. Some women thrive on it, but for the most part, personally and for most of the beautiful women that I know, we don't.

Once you meet a dime piece, do not play games with her. I can't stress that enough. She will—quickly—be done and gone; a girl like the one it sounds like you want simply will have too many good options other than you. I know that the media sells guys on this idea that women want them to act like they’re not interested, but that’s complete b-s. Women, no matter how hot, are people; we like feeling valued and appreciated. If you retreat/ghost/breadcrumb etc, hot women will move on immediately because we have multiple options, and more importantly cause we generally have pretty good self-respect. While it can help you, however, to have multiple hot women interested in you at the same time, this only works if you know how to balance it—and a lot of people simply don’t.

And: don’t act like you’re not interested in a beautiful woman. Just treat her like you’re interested in her both as a person and as sexual object of desire. Most of the time, she’s probably used to people treating her like the latter but not really the former. It makes us feel safe when a man is genuine and authentic, and caring enough to be interested in you for being multi-faceted. If I get the feeling that a man would be just as charming with me if I didn’t look the way I did, that’s an immediate turn on; if I think that he’s treating me like my looks are invisible, then I can obviously see through that ruse, and it’s also comes off as kind of rude and insincere because I already know that my looks are a big part of why he’s talking to me in the first place.

Hope this is helpful!

 

[dp4shelly]

Looking for love in all the wrong places..

You are right... internet hookups are for people that have a deficit in their real life. Don't waste your time looking for someone that can't attract anyone in their area.(There are exceptions)

But instead of looking for "someone" - stop and really figure out the profile of the person you need to complete you. Remember that over 50 percent of marriages fail and the rate is much higher for those that are just "in long term relationships."

So if you are looking for that special person that really checks all the boxes you need to know what the boxes are.

Then you need to look at what you bring to the table. The fact that you don't live in your mom's basement is hardly the standard of excellence.

Before you find a mate find yourself. What do you want to do with your life. Your life is already one third over. What do you want to do with the remaining two thirds?

Figure that out and do it. The woman that you are looking for will fit into that world. Birds of a feather flock together. So, figure out what kind of bird you are and spread your wings and she will be there. She will be there.

 

[human_male]

I would be interested to know if there has ever been anyone in your, I mean our, situation who has turned things around. If they figured out what they were doing wrong or started going to the right events or joined the right clubs or read the right book and things started to change. Has that ever happened?

Its hard not to think there's some kind of cosmic book and if your name's in it then that's that.

 

[NightL]

all a bit pointless now - be daring and say "Hi" to your left hand

 

[William_Wood]

what worked for me

It was years ago now, but I felt just like you, though I was more like 21 when I decided I needed to do something about it.

Someone recommended a speaker/writer to me named David DeAngelo, and I got a lot of insight just reading this free essay he put out there called 'Double your Dating'. I ended up buying his audio book... anyway, with Corvid19 lockdowns, you should be doing reading, not dating. When this is over the singles of the world are going to go on some kind of dating rampage I'm sure. So you wanna be ready!

My problem in my early adult years was that I worshiped women too much, didn't put myself first enough, and came across as NEEDY. Well, not much has changed deep down, but these weren't qualities for attracting a girlfriend.

Back then, it didn't matter that I was fit, educated and employed, quite witty and funny, or even that I 'knew how to have fun'. I say the last part because someone picked up that your problem might be 'not fun enough'. Maybe they're right, or maybe your long string of loneliness has made you needy? Women detect this pretty quick and immediately feel like they are out of your league.

I recommend you search that author because even his basic teachings had me think about things in a totally new light, and everything turned around within a few months. It probably ended up being the easiest thing to fix in my life, but seemed the hardest at first.

As for where to meet girls, that is the other side of the same coin. Obviously you need to be where the girls are!
-Your regional area might suck. Do you live somewhere where the girls leave as soon as they are able? Hate to tell you to rethink your entire life, but most young singles will be in coastal cities

-social dancing classes. These are designed for anyone to walk into and have a go, and they are predominantly women - women, who would rather be dancing with a male partner than alone. First time you step into one, do the math. If you try one and I'm wrong, try at least one other (with a different dance style) before you give up on that. Because they don't all develop quite the right culture.

-gym classes, especially yoga and zumba where you will be outnumbered 20 to 1. Now I think it's pretty ballsey to actually hit on women at those things, but hey - question asked, question answered.

-somewhere with a unisex steam room or sauna. For me that is my gym. You won't get a huge choice of girls come through, but they will at least be very open to conversation.

-public transport. Umm this might actually be top of the list for how easy it is. Don't be afraid to sit next to a girl on her own. If you can strike up a conversation that is interesting to her, she won't have any complaints, even if she turns out to be unavailable.

-walk a dog in places other people walk dogs. Someone suggested borrowing a baby? Fuck that. You want to come across as interesting - not full of shit. If you are enlightened enough to steer clear of the huge responsibility of owning a dog, borrow one. And then admit that you are borrowing it, and say "I hope it doesn't bite you, my friend told me it can sense evil".

Well I had best get back to work! Hope that helps you or somebody, even a little bit!

P.S. I also mostly agree with Vix_Giovanni, except for that segment about buying drinks for a girl and all her friends. I'm guessing you have a good job but are not the wolf of wallstreet. That scene as she described might be lots of fun for the girls, but will cost you thousands of dollars in a single night, and guarantees nothing. But everything else she said sounds true to me, and I feel she is likely a person of far greater experience in this than myself.

 

[jsgmgmt8]

I feel like most people figure this out and somehow I just haven't.

I'm 27, male, and have basically been single my whole life.

I'm a college grad, have a "real" job, work out, don't live in my parent's basement, don't smoke, and don't spend all my free time playing video games/watching TV.

Supposedly, women want all these things. What don't I have?

Maybe I'm not doing enough to meet women. I've tried online dating, specifically Match and Hinge, but been pretty disappointed by the results. I have tried to be accommodating/understanding/non-judgemental, and sat through dates with women who are overweight (basically 90% of Hinge), smoke, live with their parents in their 30s, and even state that they are "boring" during dates (why would someone say that about themselves?).
You'll have to excuse my horribly elitist attitude, but this doesn't exactly feel like the creme of the crop, and very far from the kind of person I would like to spend my life with. I would expect any woman to feel the same way if the situation were reversed. Needless to say I don't think online dating is worth continuing.

How about real life? In the past few years I have drifted between various hobbies and groups, but encounter virtually no women my age. There are many middle aged people, and guys, but no women in their 20s.
Where do women my age hang out in real life? What kind of groups and clubs are they part of?

Meanwhile, I know various guys who are some combination of overweight, living in their parents basement, working kind of dead end jobs, or just don't get out, yet are in relationships. Good for them, but (elitist attitude again) if they can do it, shouldn't I be swimming in ladies?

I keep reading that there are way more women with college degrees than men, and women can't find a guy or whatever. I'll believe it when I see it. I'm right here ladies, come at me.

Located in Detroit, if that makes a difference.

Few questions:
Do you drink, and or go to bars; and if so dive bars, local hangout, sports bar, clubs.?
Each is vastly different when picking up women.
No idea what you look like, but im assuming relatively normal..not super fat, dont have any face tats, have all your teeth etc??
Not AS important as your personality and swagger...which leads to next question.
Are you confident, maybe cocky a little...would you approach a random woman and or buy her a drink from across the bar. All important starters.
MAYBE THE BIGGEST...are you FUNNY, not like you have jokes and shit lined up but are you witty, can you think on your toes. (you cant really teach this, but usually the higher your intelligence the wittier you are, just kind of goes with the territory of IQ)
Note you dont need stand up skills...just in the first 3 min of conversation you better make her laugh or at least crack a smile.

For a date next...what are do you tend to talk about, current events, politics, movies, random shit (which i like)...and when you do, dont even mention YOU, ask her questions, when she answers, follow up with another question (but dont make it weird obviously by asking a follow up to her answer) Your on a date, not confirming her whereabouts last week Tuesday at 8pm...
The more she talks the better, especially if kind of suck, or are boring, or generally make it worse the more you have to say (honestly i think you may sort of be in that realm given the post)
BUT that's ok, you've had so many shit dates its hard to see the other side, and this will get way better if you get a second date.

I dont know a lot about online dating, im 39 and still think its fuckin dumb, but i've just always been a real life pick up guy (im definitely in the minority on this for sure! and am aware)
Lastly just have fun! shit your in your 20's still, as the grandpa says in little miss sunshine..."fuck a lot of women kid.." The more you get in your head about how things might go, just live in the moment. Some good relationships have come when things have went poorly at first, own it, laugh and do you...AND in finishing, trust me, she is way more nervous then you are...

Good luck,
PM if ya have a question, but dont go all essay like i did her with the question

 

[Cutiebum1]

I feel like most people figure this out and somehow I just haven't.

I'm 27, male, and have basically been single my whole life.

I'm a college grad, have a "real" job, work out, don't live in my parent's basement, don't smoke, and don't spend all my free time playing video games/watching TV.

Supposedly, women want all these things. What don't I have?

Maybe I'm not doing enough to meet women. I've tried online dating, specifically Match and Hinge, but been pretty disappointed by the results. I have tried to be accommodating/understanding/non-judgemental, and sat through dates with women who are overweight (basically 90% of Hinge), smoke, live with their parents in their 30s, and even state that they are "boring" during dates (why would someone say that about themselves?).
You'll have to excuse my horribly elitist attitude, but this doesn't exactly feel like the creme of the crop, and very far from the kind of person I would like to spend my life with. I would expect any woman to feel the same way if the situation were reversed. Needless to say I don't think online dating is worth continuing.

How about real life? In the past few years I have drifted between various hobbies and groups, but encounter virtually no women my age. There are many middle aged people, and guys, but no women in their 20s.
Where do women my age hang out in real life? What kind of groups and clubs are they part of?

Meanwhile, I know various guys who are some combination of overweight, living in their parents basement, working kind of dead end jobs, or just don't get out, yet are in relationships. Good for them, but (elitist attitude again) if they can do it, shouldn't I be swimming in ladies?

I keep reading that there are way more women with college degrees than men, and women can't find a guy or whatever. I'll believe it when I see it. I'm right here ladies, come at me.

Located in Detroit, if that makes a difference.

I wouldn’t rule out internet dating yet. Just pick the right sites. Nothing that is free because they are full of time wasters. Next I’d try not to be so judgemental of the people you do meet. There’s lots of lovely people in the world but at first glance they may not fit into your “ideal mould”. Maybe you need to give them a chance?

 

[BillieM]

Get a motorcycle.

 

[mrmister803]

Talk to random women while grocery shopping, at the gym, or wherever. Be yourself, but over emphasise your strengths. If you're a charmer, then stick to quick compliments. Also, don't shy away from single moms. They tend to be more accepting of your faults, as long as you aren't abusive.

 

[Ropebunny]

You'll have to excuse my horribly elitist attitude, but this doesn't exactly feel like the creme of the crop, and very far from the kind of person I would like to spend my life with. I would expect any woman to feel the same way if the situation were reversed. Needless to say I don't think online dating is worth continuing.

This sticks out for me. You say that you’d expect any woman to feel the same way if the situation was reversed. What if the reality of your situation is the reverse? If they picked up on your self described elitist attitude that you’d rather we excuse. If you didn’t seem like the creme of the crop, for whatever reason they had. Maybe not the kind of person you’d want to spend the rest of your life with. Maybe they saw something in you that made them think badly of themselves. Could explain them describing themselves as boring. Or maybe that was just projection...

Anyway, you got a shit ton of work on figuring out what you have to offer someone outside of the material. Don’t just look good on paper. Be the real deal. Don’t be a cunt. Enjoy feeling like a decent person and other quality people will notice you. And by then, this won’t even seem hard.

 

[Rosa2019]

Whichever of those suggestions you take, make sure it's something you're going to enjoy doing.

I agree. Whatever you choose to do, you first ask yourself whether you enjoy doing it. Do your best. Enjoy your own best.

 

[Shivermetimbers513]

Hit them over the head with a club and drag them back to your cave.