Congratulations! As a survivor of two damned relationships, I'd like to offer a few thoughts and suggestions about how to get on with your life here.
1. It's definitely okay to feel relief. And sorrow, And regret and anger and resentment and overwhelming joy. Basically feel whatever you need to, to learn and grow and change. Just don't let your feelings drown you. Seek help if you need to control them.
2. Don't issue blame. Blame is a joy killer. It saps everything you have: your time, energy, lust for life, desire to try again. Just try to avoid blame, and especially don't just blame yourself. Relationships take work, and it is almost never completely one sided unless you were in an abusive relationship.
3. Don't go back! EVER! Seriously, you broke up for a reason. Don't try to get back together because you two will absolutely just relive the same mistakes again. When you think it's time to break up, it absolutely is. My problem is that I tried to hold onto a failing relationship well past its expiration date. The very first time I suggested that we break up we should have, instead of trying to half ass it back together. Sure, in some cases it is good to try and work it out, but already I knew then that I'd never get the love I craved and that's when the resentment set in.
4. Don't seek closure! This one is especially hard for me, because the love of my life completely abandoned me, at one of the hardest times of my life. (I also had fault in this) And every time I reached out, he pushed me away further. The hardest lesson I had to learn was that people do hurtful things to others, because it was what was best for them. It's not kind or good, but that's what people do. And to keep reaching for closure was what kept me from moving on.
I hope this is helpful! It helped me to write it out
