HT find high energy men

[Jada59]

Once again, no sex. New guy made all sorts of promises to me. He fell asleep on our first date. In my car! Thought maybe it was a one off. Nope. He was supposed to come over earlier. We were supposed to have sex. He contacted me around dinner time all hot and telling me what was going to happen when he got here. And then no response after that. I messaged him and... He said he just got home from work, was too tired and couldn't come over.

Similar scenario with the last guy although he did message me today after ghosting me. That was kind of funny because I think he messaged the wrong person. He's probably falling asleep on some other chick.

Anyhoo... I'm starting to feel like I'm wasting my time. These guys start out seeming so good but once they get off work they're ready for sleep. Not sex. Both of them are quite a bit younger than me too! Bah!

I know this will happen to every guy now and then but... I need real sex with a rel guy who lives nearby. Phone and sexting just isn't doing it for me any more. Heck, I wouldn't minded if he did come over here and fell asleep in MY bed. At least I could say I had a guy in the bed. Ha!

Does such a man exist? If so, how can I find him?

 

[pplwatching]

I haven't followed your posts, so I don't know if you're looking for just sex or a relationship complete with hot sex. If it's just sex, then there seems to be an emphasis in the virtual world on crafting a perfect fantasy and selling one's self from a safe distance at one's own pace, ignoring the realities of physical attraction and interacting with another human being, living up to that person's expectations, or meeting their needs. Just lurking around Lit, there's so many posts talking a great game that would seem to be difficult to live up to in real life - assuming they're not married with no intention of ever meeting in the real world. When that fantasy shifts into the real world, there's bound to be disappointment.

If you are looking for sex, I'm sure it's out there but you're competing with not just an unlimited supply of other women making themselves available for sex but the men themselves. My intuition about Rip Van Winkle is that you're not a priority for him. It also seems, bearing in mind that I've been out of the dating pool for 25 years but have two 20ish year olds who are dating, that people now bail out for any or no reason if something more shiney comes along, the other person isn't as shiney as they imagined, or God forbid you have to communicate about an issue.

If, on the other hand, you're looking for a relationship and sex is a bonus, then get ready to kiss a lot of frogs - and don't waste time on anyone who talks up sex. I'd suggest finding someone who's willing to invest in a relationship first and then work on the sex once they've demonstrated that you are actually a priority for them. That will require a different set of skills than putting yourself out there as a FWB or going strait to the sex talk.

Whatever you're looking for, it would seem to me that talking about sex gets you nowhere. You need someone with a fire in their belly who wants to get into your panties. Sure, talk can build anticipation, but if someone's not trying to spend time with you - either for romance or for sex, whichever you want, then that person is a waste of your time. So, weed out anyone who isn't saying "let's do this!".

Of course, you could have asked him "what's up?". You don't have to lurk around various boards for too long to read about sleep apnea and other issues, which could be Rip's problem. Or, a tough job that leaves him exhausted at the end of the day. If that were the case, it would seem to me that you would have gotten the impression that he was as disappointed as you were - not "oh, well". You'll need to talk to him if you want it to go somewhere.

At the end of the day, we're all selfish bastards with our own agenda. We want attention, but on our own terms when it's emotionally safe, convenient, and without investing ourselves in another person's needs. The trick for anything other than an FB or FWB would seem to be finding someone who's learned that sometimes another person comes first.

Hope you get some.

 

[Jada59]

Of course I did ask him. If I didn't ask him, I wouldn't have known. I am looking for a relationship. Not many real guys are looking for that. There sure are plenty of them hiding behind a persona that is not them at all and they will never really meet you.

Most want only sex. I do want sex but this guy claimed we would have a relationship with lots of sex. I don't see how either would be possible given his work schedule. He works literally all day and into the night, 5 days a week, has his son one day a week then Sunday off. I have a feeling he goes to church on Sundday. So given all that, there seems to be no time for a relationship, much less sex.

It's annoying because every time he gets a break at work, he floods me with all these hot messages. He's not a Lit. guy but he might as well be because that's what some of them do too, knowing full well that we'll never meet.

As for the frogs, I'm getting sick of them. Most of them, I never even meet. I'm pretty choosy and if I don't sense a connection or they have weird fetishes, that's a big no go. The ones who seem normal always seem to turn out to be personas. I had one guy string me along for over a month but then things seemed not to add up. And sure enough, he's likely not to be a real person. I even attempted to pay money to check him out but my money was refunded. They could find nothing other than that he used a VOiP phone.

Maybe I'm at the wrong age or something. I get young guys who want me to be their mommy and 75 year old who want to play Bingo. Or men of any age who want to do nothing more than play video games and watch TV. But mostly I get scammers and the normal men I talk to say they get the same. It's sad.

At this point I'd even settle for a sex only relationship *if* it was ongoing. *sigh* Back to the old drawing board!

 

[pplwatching]

It could be a 'work-life balance' thing or he's just a guy with a solid work ethic. That's better than someone with a crappier work ethic, but requires a bit of give and take. Mr. Van W. may be worth a second chance, but imho stop with the sexting until you're stable and work out a rhythm in your relationship (if you do).

Otherwise, it sounds like an outdoor meetup group or other intrest-based group might help you zero in on men who like to do other things - and stay fit. It cuts down on potential frogs anyway. To mix metaphors, do a better job of only looking under rocks where the kind of men you're looking for can be found.

Best of luck fishing (to throw in a other for good measure).

 

[Jada59]

It could be a 'work-life balance' thing or he's just a guy with a solid work ethic. That's better than someone with a crappier work ethic, but requires a bit of give and take. Mr. Van W. may be worth a second chance, but imho stop with the sexting until you're stable and work out a rhythm in your relationship (if you do).

Otherwise, it sounds like an outdoor meetup group or other intrest-based group might help you zero in on men who like to do other things - and stay fit. It cuts down on potential frogs anyway. To mix metaphors, do a better job of only looking under rocks where the kind of men you're looking for can be found.

Best of luck fishing (to throw in a other for good measure).

We never sexted. We mainly discussed likes and dislikes. He did attempt sexting and phone sex but I wouldn't do it. And... I haven't heard back from him. Up until now I heard from him 2-3 times a day. I suppose he could actually be sick. His allergies were really bothering him. But something just seems hinky to me.

 

[pplwatching]

I was out hiking with a group this weekend, and thought about your post (great weather here over the weekend!). I was surprised how many older men were out biking the mountain biking (the trails are dual use, bikes and hikers). So, I'll just say again that asking a guy if he exercises regularly is probably a good way to estimate stamina .

We never sexted.

Yeah, I tend to lump the all forms of communication together into that label, including phone calls .

But something just seems hinky to me.

Follow your intuition. It's usually right. Especially if it's been a couple of days.

 

[Jada59]

I was out hiking with a group this weekend, and thought about your post (great weather here over the weekend!). I was surprised how many older men were out biking the mountain biking (the trails are dual use, bikes and hikers). So, I'll just say again that asking a guy if he exercises regularly is probably a good way to estimate stamina .


Yeah, I tend to lump the all forms of communication together into that label, including phone calls .


Follow your intuition. It's usually right. Especially if it's been a couple of days.

Things were great! I think he was just really tired and not feeling well. I should say things were fine until his allergies kicked in. He's allergic to cats and dogs.

 

[FGB]

I don't know.

Dee just texts and says "I need you to come over here and fuck me!"

Most of the time she phrases it nicer than that.

And sometimes she says come over for supper and bring Doc Holiday(our dog)and the small toy box and you might better take a pill!

See I CAN take instructions.

I respond with "Yes Ma'am!"

 

[Jada59]

I don't know.

Dee just texts and says "I need you to come over here and fuck me!"

Most of the time she phrases it nicer than that.

And sometimes she says come over for supper and bring Doc Holiday(our dog)and the small toy box and you might better take a pill!

See I CAN take instructions.

I respond with "Yes Ma'am!"

I wish! He has a son who somewhat cock blocked us tonight. First a customer wouldn't leave where he worked. Then as soon as he got home, his son called and needed a ride. So we did have a quickie but we didn't get all that time we were counting on.

 

[FGB]

I wish! He has a son who somewhat cock blocked us tonight. First a customer wouldn't leave where he worked. Then as soon as he got home, his son called and needed a ride. So we did have a quickie but we didn't get all that time we were counting on.

Preach it sister!

I would have to PM you to tell some of the crap that prevents us getting together sometimes, but you would have to promise not to talk about it on the Boards...

I would blow your dress up and probably make you laugh and feel better!

 

[Jada59]

Preach it sister!

I would have to PM you to tell some of the crap that prevents us getting together sometimes, but you would have to promise not to talk about it on the Boards...

I would blow your dress up and probably make you laugh and feel better!

Hey! Anything said privately to me, stays private. Go ahead. Make my day!

 

[yukonnights]

Well dang All the while I was reading, I was thinking; "Jada needs to get out to a gym class or some kind of activity where real people are doing things."

But then I noticed you're in Washington — getting out to the gym might not be a good idea right now. (Of course, that could depend on your location in WA.)

But in general; I concur with the direction 'pplwatching' is going. Real people doing real activities seems more productive to me. Best wishes though — life is too precious to spend unhappy and unsatisfied.

 

[Jada59]

Well dang All the while I was reading, I was thinking; "Jada needs to get out to a gym class or some kind of activity where real people are doing things."

But then I noticed you're in Washington — getting out to the gym might not be a good idea right now. (Of course, that could depend on your location in WA.)

But in general; I concur with the direction 'pplwatching' is going. Real people doing real activities seems more productive to me. Best wishes though — life is too precious to spend unhappy and unsatisfied.

I'm holed up in my house in the Seattle area. Things are shutting down right and left. I exercise at home.

 

[yukonnights]

I'm holed up in my house in the Seattle area. Things are shutting down right and left. I exercise at home.

Well, all that sounds good — until you get to the alone part Eventually, this too will pass. Maybe then you can get into some activities where 'higher energy men' might be found. Until then …

 

[Jada59]

Well, all that sounds good — until you get to the alone part Eventually, this too will pass. Maybe then you can get into some activities where 'higher energy men' might be found. Until then …

My current one is rejuvenated. I just can't see him right now.

 

[ef_oh_ex]

My current one is rejuvenated. I just can't see him right now.

you found one but you keep ignoring him b/c he's not in your area LOL

 

[Jada59]

you found one but you keep ignoring him b/c he's not in your area LOL

Dammit! You're funny!

 

[JustbeingRandy]

Fell asleep in the car on a date. Sounds like a great scene for a comedy.

 

[Jada59]

Fell asleep in the car on a date. Sounds like a great scene for a comedy.

No, the comedy came on Sat. It was good, it was frustrating, then it was quick but overall it was funny. All we could do was laugh. Had this great lonnnng time all planned out and then wound up with only 15 minutes together. He was like... Hurry! Hurry!

And now! The powers that be don't want me to leave the house. And he can't come here because he's allergic to my cat.

By the time we do get together again, we may go up in a cloud of smoke because there will be so many sparks!

 

[JustbeingRandy]

Just leave the house and go get fucked. It's that easy.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

Fell asleep in the car on a date. Sounds like a great scene for a comedy.

Unless it was you who was driving.

 

[Jada59]

Just leave the house and go get fucked. It's that easy.

I'll have to see what the idiot Inslee (Gov.) says in his speech. He may mandate that I *can't* leave the house. Coronavirus is bad around here. I had two friends die three days ago. The first one's GF found him dead in hi car. The other one's wife said he went to an event in a city a couple of hours away,walked through the door and just dropped dead on the floor. Awaiting autopsies to find the cause of death. I'm not saying it's the Coronavirus but it's too damned freaky for words.

Then again, I've never been much for following rule or authorities so...

 

[Jada59]

Unless it was you who was driving.

Hahaha.

 

[CandK_inSE]

I'll have to see what the idiot Inslee (Gov.) says in his speech. He may mandate that I *can't* leave the house. Coronavirus is bad around here. I had two friends die three days ago. The first one's GF found him dead in hi car. The other one's wife said he went to an event in a city a couple of hours away,walked through the door and just dropped dead on the floor. Awaiting autopsies to find the cause of death. I'm not saying it's the Coronavirus but it's too damned freaky for words.

Then again, I've never been much for following rule or authorities so...

Why is it that so many politicians on that side cannot think past the “crisis” in front of them?

Mandate people stay in their residences.

After a few days, people run out of food.

Then there’s a much bigger crisis.

Sometimes I wonder what happened to common sense and the ability process information logically.

 

[Jada59]

Why is it that so many politicians on that side cannot think past the “crisis” in front of them?

Mandate people stay in their residences.

After a few days, people run out of food.

Then there’s a much bigger crisis.

Sometimes I wonder what happened to common sense and the ability process information logically.

Honestly I don't know how these people got elected. They are kooks, idiots, on the take and who knows what else.