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The Isolated Blurt Thread XXXI : Don't Be a Fuckhead
- Thread starter spacekowboy
- Start date
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Yeah, THAT's your worry.
Not the content of those threads, which none of you minded.
Don't forget to report me!
butters
High on a Hill
- Joined
- Jul 2, 2009
- Posts
- 85,785
since i don't even visit those threads, how would i know about the content?Yeah, THAT's your worry.
Not the content of those threads, which none of you minded.
Don't forget to report me!
as i said to you before, if you saw material you believed broke the site's age-rules then report them. seems you spend a lot of time over on those sorts of threads. seems a bit strange, for a woman....
HarryHill
Hairy fucker
- Joined
- Jul 13, 2012
- Posts
- 15,271
..1,000 Things You Don't Know About Women
No. 185: "Business casual": Easy for you, but bewildering for us.
Amy Keller, 27, Chicago
No. 218:
What makes our skin crawl: cell phone holsters, crocs (really?), and when you leave your stupid bluetooth earpiece in 24/7.
Kelly Greene, 35, San Diego
No. 279:
We love hearing about your family. Even when it's boring, it's good to know you think about them.
Alessia Viscomi, 21, Newton, Massachusetts
No. 989:
We appreciate when you keep your condoms within close reach from the bed so we don't spend ten minutes waiting naked while you search the other end of the apartment.
Sarah Knowles, 29, Brooklyn
No. 944:
We kind of wish we could chest-bump, too.
Rose Farnsworth, 19, Nashville
No. 964:
Sometimes we want to be treated like a princess. Sometimes, we want to be treated like a sex object. It's up to you to figure out which of these we want to be at any given moment, because we certainly aren't going to tell you.
Julianna Mendelsohn, 29, Chicago
No. 896:
Not all of us envy the whole peeing-while-standing thing. Seems messy.
Nicole Lee, 31, San Francisco
No. 850:
If you meet us at a bar, please don't say, "I'd like to see you without your glasses." We could go blind, you know.
Amanda Bullock, 26, Detroit
No. 824:
Be careful: singing to us can be totally cute. But only if you can actually sing.
Rose Farnsworth, 19, Nashville
No. 798:
When we say "He was so great in the delivery room!" we are actually just happy that you didn't faint, gag or run screaming out the door.
Beth Malonoski, 34, Norristown, Pennsylvania
No. 726:
We will be jealous of any picture of you and another girl on Facebook. It doesn't matter who she is.
Mallory Farmer, 23, Boston
No. 628:
We think saying "ladies" at the end of any statement or question makes it kind of creepy.
Aminata Dia, 22, San Jose, California
No. 582:
If we make it through an entire first date without seeing what color your iPhone case is, well, we just might fall in love.
Dina Sanchez, 29, Brooklyn
No. 340:
If that piece of clothing does indeed make us look fat, simply say, "It's nice, but you don't look comfortable in it." Most of the time, it's true.
Nicole Lee, 31, San Francisco
No. 361:
You cleaning your apartment is somehow incredibly sexy. Weird but true.
Amy Keller, 27, Chicago
No. 313:
It's cute when you don't quite know how to dress, so long as your not knowing doesn't involve jean shorts or a fanny pack. We can only handle so much eyestrain.
Cassie Rodenberg, 22, Charleston, South Carolina
No. 155:
It doesn't matter what your chosen profession is, as long as you love what you do and do it with passion, and it's legal and it doesn't involve being in a production of the Lord of the Dance.
Beth Malonoski, 34, Norristown, Pennsylvania
No. 396:
We like it when you lend your favorite books to us. For several reasons.
Rose Farnsworth, 19, Nashville
No. 460:
You'll lose points every time you use the word "pussy."
Katie Knies, 22, North Salem, New York
No. 505:
When we ask you how we look, you lose points every time you answer with "fine."
Dani Ruiz, 21, Encinitas, California
No. 563:
Some of us wouldn't mind if you bought us a good lap dance every once in a while. Just saying.
Dina Sanchez, 29, Brooklyn
No. 838:
It's not that we like the flowers themselves, it's that the flowers mean you're thinking about us. And we love that.
Sherri Pitts, 43, Chino Hills, California
No. 763:
When we run into an ex, we always play "Who Won?" And in our minds, we always won.
Aminata Dia, 22, San Jose, California
No. 870:
We do want romance, but we don't want you to do these things because we intstruct you to. We want you to come by them naturally.
Julianna Mendelsohn, 29, Chicago
No. 925:
We love it when you're in the mood, but we don't love it when you grind up against us while we brush our teeth.
Amy Keller, 27, Chicago
No. 972:
We get to pick the baby's name. And it's not going to be your mother's maiden name. McCullen is a terrible name for a baby.
Rose Farnsworth, 19, Nashville
No. 790:
Even the slightest idea of fashion can be very attractive.
Kourtney Cole, 22, Chino Hills, California
No. 748:
We don't actually wear matching bras and panties all the time. Shocking, we know.
Nicole Lee, 31, San Francisco
No. 349:
Hair starts growing in funny places when we turn fifty. Not much we can do about it.
Marie Mackler, 58, Takoma Park, Maryland
No. 973:
The most important error most of you make when trying to figure us out is in thinking of us as mysterious, unknowable creatures who adhere to some cabalistic set of Girl Rules.
Anne Harding, 23, Wilmington, Delaware
No. 756:
If you want your beer to be cold all the time, get a mini-fridge; don't let it take up too much room in our fridge. Unless you're chilling it for us.
Juliet Garlow, 20, Silver Spring, Maryland.
No. 535:
We prefer an arm around us to holding hands pretty much any day.
Aminata Dia, 22, San Jose, California
No. 837:
Shoes always fit. Hence our perpetually full closets.
Sydney Hayes, 19, San Diego
No. 265:
The following posters on your wall are deal-breakers: Bob Marley playing soccer, Bob Marley exhaling, Bob Marley in green, yellow and/or red. Exemplars of the chill-bro variety are reserved, exclusively, for unwashed undergrads.
Eve Gleichman, 21, New York.
No. 125:
It's okay for you to drink rosé. We know it's good.
Rose Farnsworth, 19, Nashville
No. 546:
These days, with Facebook, chances are we know your favorite band well before our first drink with you. Something to keep in mind.
Robin Carol, 21, Eugene, Oregon
No. 673:
Even we know this: The craziest girls are the ones who seem the most normal at first.
Aminata Dia, 22, San Jose, California
No. 737:
Surprise field trips are the best, even if it's "guy stuff." If we roll our eyes, it doesn't mean we don't love the effort.
Amy Keller, 27, Chicago
No. 699:
We say we love scary movies so we can cuddle up to you.
Alessia Viscomi, 21, Newton, Massachusetts
No. 595:
Just because a model wore super-skinny jeans with pointy leather shoes and a plaid blazer doesn't mean that the ensemble is appropriate date attire for you.
Kellie Chung, 23, Boston
No. 880:
If you call the movies "the cinema," we will only laugh. And laugh.
Dina Sanchez, 29, Brooklyn
No. 816:
Seventy-five percent of the sounds we make during sex are purely for you. That's how much we care.
Rose Farnsworth, 19, Nashville
No. 914:
Even if we're cool with your telling us a girl is hot, remember who you're coming home to.
Kourtney Cole, 22, Chino Hills, California
No. 859:
We still like being asked on a proper date.
Robin Carol, 21, Eugene
No. 821:
Even if we look sad, don't tell us that we look depressed.
Katie Knies, 22, North Salem, New York
No. 577:
You should definitely buy us a drink. But know that it doesn't guarantee we'll stick around all night.
Aminata Dia, 22, San Jose California
No. 533:
We agonize over text messages. For instance, a one-word response means you're not interested. Right?
Katie Knies, 22, North Salem, New York
No. 485:
Though it might sound like it, Kegel exercises are not a military maneuver.
Marie Mackler, 58, Takoma Park, Maryland
No. 433:
We think the clean-laundry smell of you in your undershirt is a thousand times more appealing than even the best cologne.
Dina Sanchez, 29, Brooklyn
No. 552:
Quote movies only when absolutely necessary. We like your own words better than those of that old guy on the bridge in Monty Python's The Holy Grail.
Eve Gleichman, 21, New York
No. 409:
We love a chase. Not calling all the time gives us a chance to try new things to get your attention.
Alessia Viscomi, 21, Newton, Massachusetts
No. 337:
Don't assume that your favorite beer is our favorite beer, too. You're not the only brew connoisseurs.
Rose Farnsworth, 19, Nashville
No. 419:
We would also love to skip Sunday brunch with eighty-five family members in favor of sitting on the couch in our sweats watching reruns of The A-Team. We just have a better game face.
Beth Malonoski, 34, Norristown, Pennsylvania
No. 380:
You aren't the only gender that can appreciate a big booty.
Felicity Slater, 22, Cambridge, Massachusetts
No. 446:
Black coffee is sexy. Bringing black coffee to us in bed is sexy, too.
Kady Ruth Ashcraft, 19, College Park, MD
No. 304:
Yes, we moisturize and walk around the house naked with rubber gloves on when you're not around.
Cassie Rodenberg, 22, Charleston, South Carolina
No. 780:
If you plan a date a week in advance, we'll spend the next seven days planning our outfit. Starting from the second you hang up the phone.
Katie Knies, 22, North Salem, New York
No. 558:
Listen to your gut feelings when determining if we're into you or not.
Aminata Dia, 22, San Jose, California
No. 521:
If we are wearing white pants or shorts, we are looking to hook up. It's like code.
Mallory Farmer, 23, Boston
No. 231:
Where do we put on perfume? Where we wish to be kissed.
Adriana Ball, 24, Miami
No. 794: One-armed hugs means we're friends. Two-armed hugs show you care. Squeezing the hell out of us says you love us.
Aminata Dia, 22, San Jose, California
No. 328:
Those little nonsensical arguments, for us, are fun. They give us a chance to see how you deal with things.
Alessia Viscomi, 21, Newton, Massachusetts
No. 469:
Among other tips: when buying clothes for us, grab a similar item from our drawer and match the size. Don't choose an XL because it's the first thing you found.
Cassie Rodenberg, 22, Charleston, South Carolina
No. 803:
We love it when you go out and have fun with your guy friends, but stories involving not remembering your night tend to be boring.
Eve Gleichman, 21, New York
No. 861:
Sometimes wingmen can do more harm than good, so be brave: do it alone.
Aminata Dia, 22, San Jose, California
No. 713:
Glasses are to women what lingerie is to men. That's right: Bookish is that sexy.
Cassie Rodenberg, 22, Charleston, South Carolina
No. 355:
Everything sounds better when whispered close to our ear.
Katie Knies, 22, North Salem, New York
No. 256:
We'll judge your beer: opting for something better than Bud Light shows us you care about the finer things in life.
Eve Gleichman, 21, New York
No. 180:
We'll never understand why you slap each other's butts when you're playing sports. And that's okay.
Aminata Dia, 22, San Jose, California
No. 95:
The way we feel about your kisses on the back of our necks: Think ice cream in August.
Cassie Rodenberg, 22, Charleston, South Carolina
No. 955:
We always want dessert. We always want you to order dessert. What we never want is for you to ask us if we want dessert. It's redundant.
Katie Knies, 22, North Salem, New York
No. 877:
Replacing the roll of toilet paper counts as one of those "little things" that we love.
Beth Malonoski, 34, Norristown, Pennsylvania
No. 480:
To women, shoes matter. If we see you in Tevas outside of a forest excursion, we'll do what we do whenever we see bad footwear: run the other way.
Cassie Rodenberg, 22, Charleston, South Carolina
No. 614:
No matter how much we love you we will never care what level you've gotten to in Call of Duty.
Aminata Dia, 22, San Jose, California
No. 292:
Sometimes we just wear nice clothes and makeup for no other reason than to look good.
Nicole Lee, 31, San Francisco
No. 404:
Under no circumstance, besides enlistment in the Army, will we find cargo pants an acceptable choice.
Eve Gleichman, 21, New York
No. 368:
Don't be surprised that we have condoms in our top dresser drawer. Be happy.
Katharine Smith, 27, Brooklyn
No. 200:
"Chuck Norris would do it" is not an excuse for bad behavior.
Aminata Dia, 22, San Jose, California
No. 498:
Though it might sound like a compliment in your head, never say, "It's cool that you can eat so much."
Katie Knies, 22, North Salem, New York
No. 663:
If we just met you and we're making out on the dance floor, chances are it wasn't your dance moves that got you this lucky.
Dina Sanchez, 29, Brooklyn
No. 687:
Sometimes we rely on your mother to say what we've been thinking. (Like: "You look like a slug in that shirt.")
Rose Farnsworth, 19, Nashville
No. 755:
Though it may be cool that you saved all that time and money by going to Supercuts, we may not touch you for two weeks.
Lisa Gartner, 22, Washington, D.C.
No. 720:
Always assume that what we contain in our purses is very necessary. When you need insect repellent, a Band-Aid, safety pins, or a moist towelette, you'll be grateful.
Cassie Rodenberg, 22, Charleston, South Carolina
No. 832:
We secretly wish that we could rock out in our eighties hair-band t-shirt and ripped jeans sometimes too. We just don't try to revive the trend at the neighborhood barbeque.
Beth Malonoski, 34, Norristown, Pennsylvania
No. 401:
We love it when you take us out to dinner. We'll love it even more if we don't have to watch you scrutinize the bill for a half-hour.
Eve Gleichman, 21, Brooklyn
No. 890:
We prefer that you never use the word "bang" when referring to sex.
Aminata Dia, 22, San Jose, California
No. 980:
We appreciate when you can admit you're wrong, but we also don't want you to say sorry too much.
Katie Knies, 22, North Salem, New York
No. 419:
Stop worrying about why we take so long in the bathroom. Think of it as uninterrupted free time to watch Sports Center (again).
Beth Malonoski, 34, Norristown, Pennsylvania
No. 791:
We like it when we impress you, whether it's the fact that we own and know the names of most tools, we can drive a stick better than you can, or that we aren't totally freaked out by bugs.
Carly Hansen, 22, Santa Barbara, California
No. 285: Most of us would rather watch Entourage than Sex and the City. Aminata Dia, 22, San Jose, California
No. 198: We like safe drivers. High-speed chases only impress us when they involve Vin Diesel. Eve Gleichman, 21, New York
No. 168: We remember every detail about a relationship. Every. One. Katie Knies, 22, North Salem, New York
No. 996: When we go into a comic-book store, it's entirely likely that we're there because we actually like comics, and not because we were dragged there by a boyfriend. Nicole Lee, 31, San Francisco
No. 937: We love the smell of your deodorant so much that some of us wear it. Christina Raine, 20, Richmond, California
No. 370: After getting through a torturous line at a baseball game, we love it when we come back to find you waiting with our food. It's those little ideas you come up with completely on your own that score points. Amanda Rawson, 22, Worcester, Massachusetts
No. 907: Your nipples make no sense to us. Rose Farnsworth, 19, Nashville
No. 857: We like it when you take your fashion advice, but not your fidelity advice, from Don Draper. Eve Gleichman, 21, New York
No. 772: Men don't realize that women notice everything. Including when you've worn the same underwear two days in a row. Kellie Chung, 23, Boston
No. 847: Getting riled up at a restaurant turns us off. Sharada Tolton, 21, Philadelphia
No. 743: We are all secretly in love with Jeff Goldblum. Eve Gleichman, 21, New York
No. 756: We don't like guys who agree with us all the time. Katie Knies, 22, North Salem, New York
No. 489: Ragging on our girlfriends is absolutely not allowed, regardless of whether what you're saying is true. Katie Knies, 22, North Salem, New York
No. 446: We're jealous that you get to wear the same suit to every wedding and just switch up the tie. People would start to talk if we wore the same dress every time. Amy Keller, 27, Chicago
No. 237: If we only order a salad at a four-star restaurant, chances are there's a bag of chips and some leftover Chinese waiting for us at home. If we order steak and dessert, we'll probably just have you afterward. Beth Malonoski, 34, Norristown, Pennsylvania
No. 415: We think cigars make you smell very bad. Actually, it's not a matter of opinion. Rose Farnsworth, 19, Nashville
No. 792: Calling us "girls" is okay. "Chicks," however, has very limited, case-by-case usage. Nicole Lee, 31, San Francisco
No. 947: If we're at a sports bar during a big game, don't hit on us. We're watching the game. Aminata Dia, 22, San Jose, California
No. 581: If we had to make the first move, you will be reminded of it for the rest of our relationship. Rose Farnsworth, 19, Nashville
No. 727: We are really more forgiving after fights than we let on. Katie Knies, 22, North Salem, New York
No. 994: Big arms are overrated. Felicity Slater, 22, Cambridge, Massachusetts
No. 872: In regards to shirt buttons, here's our advice: one open, you're fine, two open, you're cutting it close, three or more and you look like you belong on Tool Academy. Aminata Dia, 22, San Jose, California
No. 564: Puppy eyes will get you just about everything. Actual puppies will get you even more. Carly Hansen, 22, Santa Barbara, California
No. 609: There is something really sexy about smiling when you kiss us. Kady Ruth Ashcraft, 19, College Park, Maryland
No. 825: We know when you don't know the answer to our question, but it's sort of endearing when you fake it. Eve Gleichman, 21, Brooklyn
No. 159: It's always a good sign when you can laugh at yourself. It's a graceful motion of not letting pride get to your head. Grace Smith Vidaurre, 21, Jamestown, Rhode Island
No. 797: When we agree to see Get Him to the Greek over Sex in the City 2, it's not because it looks like a cinematic masterpiece, it's because we're trying to be nice and you look cute when you're laughing. Feel free to return the favor. Christina Alderman, 21, San Diego
No. 916: It's true: We always want to be your top priority. Adriana Ball, 24, Miami
No. 465: Ladies is pimps too. Christina Raine, 20, Richmond, California
No. 315: We like to talk a lot, so even if you don't really care about what we're saying, fake it. That's what we do when you talk about trading players in whatever fantasy sport you're always talking about. Carly Hansen, 22, Santa Barbara, California
No. 527: The better you are at acknowledging personal space, the more likely we'll be to let you into ours. Eve Gleichman, 21, Brooklyn
No. 117: We put in a relationship absolutely everything we want you to give back. Adriana Ball, 24, Miami
No. 729: If we're brushing your leg up and down, don't sit and talk with your friends for twenty more minutes. Time's up! Kady Ruth Ashcraft, 19, College Park, Maryland
No. 887: We like it when you wear nothing but boxers to bed. Amanda Rawson, 22, Worcester, Massachusetts
No. 452: Snuggling can fix just about anything. Carly Hansen, 22, Santa Barbara, California
No. 669: We have a thing for nerds. Christina Raine, 20, Richmond, California
No. 817: When we slam the door, it means come in. Marcella Daher, 20, Pasadena, California
No. 592: If you don't want to tell us something, you probably should. We might find out from someone else, and that won't be good. Jenna Alice Loerop, 21, Chicago
No. 762: No, we don't always magically know where the remote is. Christina Raine, 20, Richmond, California
No. 843: We can read you like a book, so if something is wrong or bothering you, don't be afraid to share it. It saves us the trouble of having to spend all day guessing. Heidi Stafford, 19, Rancho Mirage, California
No. 623: When you say you know somebody who knows somebody who knows somebody, it absolutely never makes you sound cool. Aminata Dia, 22, San Jose, California
No. 962: Don't pay attention to us if we reach for our bag and offer to pay on a first date. Victoria Stoner, 24, Boston
No. 742: When we are in a large crowd, hold our hand as if you don't want to lose us. Amanda Rawson, 22, Worcester, Massachusetts
No. 1: Your waiting in the car to make sure we got through the door okay never gets old to us. Eve Gleichman, 21, Brooklyn
No. 271: Teasing us about how many shoes we have or how we have too many clothes is cute at first. But after a while it gets old; we know we have too much and we like it that way. Carly Hansen, 22, Santa Barbara, California
No. 704: We do hope we are way prettier than your new girlfriend. Amanda Rawson, 22, Worcester, Massachusetts
No. 806: If we hear a noise in the middle of the night, nothing makes us feel more protected than you going to check things out. Amanda Rawson, 22, Worcester, Massachusetts
No. 893: To us, a successful man also finds the work he does gratifying. Eve Gleichman, 21, Brooklyn
No. 547: The only reason we share our problems with you is to give you a chance to make us feel better. Adriana Ball, 24, Miami
No. 571: We love the fact that you are stronger than us and that you can reach everything on the top shelf. Amanda Rawson, 22, Worcester, Massachusetts
No. 392: We don't always want to cuddle up. It gets hot sometimes. Christina Raine, 20, Richmond, California
No. 852: It is completely okay to talk about your ex-girlfriends or other women you've slept with abstractly, but we don't want to hear anything specifically comparative unless you're saying that we're better at everything. Anne Harding, 23, Wilmington, Delaware
No. 786: Don't tell us you shave your unibrow. We appreciate it, but we want to pretend it's hairless all by itself. Juliet Garlow, 20, Silver Spring, Maryland
No. 634: We think you look sexier after you work out than when you're wearing a tux. Aminata Dia, 22, San Jose, California
No. 401: Sometimes we like to drive. Christina Raine, 20, Richmond, California
No. 518: Sometimes we don't need you to solve the problem, we just want you to listen. Nicole Semonis, 22, Encinitas, California
No. 906: Just how you like your boy time, we like our girl time. Sydney Hayes, 19, San Diego
No. 694: We love a man who knows how to tell time, because he knows that when he says he'll be there in a minute, there's a difference between a minute and two hours. Kelsey Anderson, 22, El Dorado Hills, California
No. 775: You know that we sometimes don't say what we mean. But if you go by body language, it's easy. Christina Alderman, 21, San Diego
No. 140: We like you when you throw on a pair of basketball shorts and call it a day, just not when you're meeting our parents. Heidi Stafford, 19, Rancho Mirage, California
No. 20: Putting your hand on the small of a woman's back is as potent and powerful as buying her two drinks. Just so long as you know the girl. Otherwise it's just weird. Anna Ferguson, 27, St. Simons, Georgia
No. 78: Presentation counts. Wrap your gift and iron your shirt. Merritt Watts, 25, New York
No. 88: We find your inability to ask for directions or go to the doctor every bit as bewildering as you find our inability to pass by a shoe sale. Pat Morrissey, 50, Shamong, New Jersey
No. 442: For special occasions, it's the effort of taking us out that matters most, not where we end up going. Unless it's a McDonalds drive-thru. Carly Hansen, 22, Santa Barbara, California
No. 934: A deep voice. And some stubble. Amanda Rawson, 22, Worcester, Massachusetts
No. 12: We like wearing your pants. Not wearing "the pants" wearing your actual pants. They fit better. Stacey Berman, 22, Brooklyn
No. 567: You think lesbians are hot; we think gay guys are willing to shop, clean up after themselves, and keep up on gossip. You have your fantasies; we have ours. Katharine Francis, 28, Lafayette, California
No. 124: Electronics clipped to your pants are sexy only if you're Batman, Superman, or any other kind of man who needs them to save lives, not send e-mail. Rachel Sturtz, 28, New York
No. 900: There are pretty much no conditions under which sporting a soul patch is attractive. A trumpet virtuoso might be able to carry it off, but even he looks like he's hiding something small but terrible. Katy Steinmetz, 25, Washington, D.C.
No. 205: We don't like it when you put your hands on our waists. You're not supposed to know about our Spanx. You're just supposed to think our tummies look that flat naturally. Mind your business. Kirsten Hall, 35, New York
No. 400: Pay attention to the sides. The sides of her face. The sides of her breasts. The sides of her torso. The sides of her hips. The sides of her thighs. A woman's body is not a set of three or four important dots connected by unimportant skin. Elspeth Golden, 44, San Francisco
No. 17: You court with flowers; we court with a higher frequency of waxing treatments. Staci Brinkman, 27, Dallas
No. 325: We love the un-expected kiss. Especially the one when you stop us midsentence and make us forget what the hell we were talking about in the first place. Stephanie Mitchell, 41, Dayton
No. 4: The baby talk is strange if there is no baby around. Chontelle Matthews, 26, Bowie, Maryland
No. 671: Please do not ever, ever let us see you naked if you are still wearing your socks. Pat Dunnigan, 47, Chicago
No. 722: Make your bed every day and change the sheets once a week. That vague goatlike smell guys get will remind us of our brother, and you will be sleeping alone. Melinda Meggyesy, 31, Seattle
No. 356: Please remember that if we hang out with a bunch of guys, it doesn't make us one. Christina Raine, 20, Richmond, California
No. 820: If the world were a beach, we would want you to throw us in the ocean and then protect us from the waves. Krista Iovino, 32, New York
No. 501: We don't want a man more polished than us. Slightly wrinkled and smelling a bit of sweat and a bar of soap? Fantastic. Christine Siltanen, 38, Portland, Oregon
No. 72: Lending us books is one of the most romantic things you can do. Jessica Wakeman, 26, Bayonne, New Jersey
No. 100: We don't need special moves. Just do the regular ones right. Katie Dinardo, 23, Brooklyn
No. 46: Don't use our makeup. Maryann Fitzgerald, 47, Los Angeles
No. 11: We like our heroes flawed. That way, they can rescue us, but it gives us room to rescue them, too. Beth Young Margulies, 36, Bethesda, Maryland
No. 63: The most chivalrous thing a man can do is let you have the last piece of bacon. Sung-Hee Park, 30, New York
No. 204: We don't want to wear our bra more than you want to see us not wearing our bra. Whitney Webb, 22, Blacksburg, Virginia
No. 318: We want to see you cry every once in a while-it makes you human. To find out how often is acceptable, divide the number of cries by the number of no-holds-barred, screaming orgasms you've given us. If the quotient is greater than 0.25, you're a whiny bitch. Carrie Dienhart, 34, Kansas City, Missouri
No. 605: You only get to ask once about the threesome. Crystal Taub, 34, Baltimore
No. 559: Please notice and comment on our choice of fragrance. We paid a lot for that teeny bottle of Chanel. Hanady Kader, 25, Seattle
No. 801: We play with our boobs. Who wouldn't? Even though we complain about them, they're still fun. Kelly Heintz, 23, Fresno, California
No. 48: When we say that nothing is wrong, we mean that you should know what is wrong without us having to tell you. Lara Ehrlich, 28, Chicago
No. 3: Please don't write us poetry or compose us music. Unless writing is actually part of your job description, like if you are Tom Waits. Brenna Ehrlich, 25, Brooklyn
No. 92: We don't want to get married tomorrow, either. There are a lot of celebrities we want to bang before we settle down. Kelsey Allen, 21, Columbia, Missouri
No. 483: We don't like it when you pull your shirt off from the front. Be a man and pull it over your head from the back. Molly Rosen, 33, New York
No. 915: We rarely ask a question we don't already know the answer to. So, we know you don't think she's hotter than us, or we wouldn't ask. Lisa Huber, 38, Teutopolis, Illinois
No. 50: No, it's not all right that you didn't plan anything for our birthday even though we told you not to. Carla Michelle Coley, 24, Washington, D. C.
No. 8: If you are making out with a girl and she didn't shave her legs, you have great game. At the beginning of the night, she wasn't planning on doing anything. Janna Johnson, 24, New York
No. 23 We want you to never stop hunting us. Even if we married you. Remember why you got the gig. Don't make the trailer the only fun in the whole production. That's misleading. Avril Dell, 46, Toronto
No. 744: Don't comment on our driving. There's a reason your insurance is more expensive. Diane Vadnal, 20, Des Plaines, Illinois
No. 659: Know how to go to a nice restaurant and dine. Eating and talking together is phenomenal foreplay. Joanna Breger, 36, Wilmington, Delaware
No. 77: We want you to think we are pretty. Every now and then, when we get all fixed up, act for a minute like we make it hard for you to breathe. Shannon Purvis, 45, Novato, California
No. 516: We look into your minds by reading your magazines. Lisa Alva, 49, Los Angeles
No. 668: Please don't splay your legs on the bus, subway, or airplane. We know you don't need all that space. Don't flatter yourself. Grace Zerzan, 27, New York
No. 447: Sometimes, we just want to make out on the couch like we're back in high school. That includes your hands wandering and everything. Kim Melton, 23, Albuquerque
No. 814: Most of us have considered a threesome. Just not with our boyfriends. Melanie Smeltzer, 22, Phoenix
No. 15: It's not always chocolate or a foot massage. Sometimes it's Johnnie Walker Black on the rocks. Caitlin Goldin, 24, Charlottesville, Va.
No. 61: If it's cold, put on gloves. Your balls are not a hand warmer. Jennifer Wallerstein, 26, New York
No. 40: We think you're high maintenance, too. Naomi Pabon-Figueroa, 25, Pittsburgh
No. 705: Men don't understand a woman's obsession with celebrity gossip who's pregnant, who's getting divorced, who made a fool of themselves. It makes us feel better about ourselves. Cassidy Parker, 25, Brooklyn
No. 39 Panties is a guy word. We call it underwear. Elisa Benson, 26, New York
No. 5: We don't have penises. When we're fondling away, some encouragement and direction is appreciated. When we direct you as you're spelunking nether-ward on our bodies, don't be offended be grateful we're preventing you from losing all use of your thumb for a week. Beth Carswell, 32, Victoria, British Columbia
No. 531: We love to cry, and we always feel better after a big sob fest. How much better? Pull down your pants. Denise Marquez, 40, Rochester, N.Y.
No. 236: If something in your past will show up on a Google search, be prepared to explain it. Julia Phillips, 39, Longmont, Colo.
No. 1000: We love you guys. Stephanie Shaughnessy, 41, Pittsburgh
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No. 193: Because we love security and fidelity, we also love love handles. Your six-pack anxiety only threatens us with the possibility you might care more about your abs than you care about us. Alexis Justman, 23, El Centro, California
No. 658: Don't tease us. We're not your little sister. Katie Holleran, 23, Winchester, Massachusetts
No. 863: If we don't spend the night, don't give up on calling us back. We were probably just wearing Spanx. Alexis Justman, 23, El Centro, California
No. 386: When we are truly angry, we go silent. That is your opportunity to apologize, or run. Neither will save you. Lisa Huber, 38, Teutopolis, Illinois
No. 274: Some of us keep imaginary tallies in our head. "He keeps Diet Coke at his apartment because he knows I love it: 5 points. He's liberal: 10 points. He brought me soup when I was sick: 15 points. He made banana pancakes: infinity points." Your kindness is noted, appreciated and will be rewarded. Rhiannon Falzone, 26, Chicago
No. 417: If it ever comes down to picking between spending time with your girl and playing World of Warcraft you have bigger issues than not understanding women. Brittany Brundage, 21, Orem, Utah
No. 358: Loading the dishes without being asked it means more than you know. Alexandria Pruitt, 24, Louisville
No. 789: Practice proper text message grammar. Abbreviations are okay. "LOL" is not. Alexis Justman, 23, El Centro, California
No. 467: We like it when you have a lot of male friends. It means you can maintain a good relationship, like the one you have with us. Alexandria Pruitt, 24, Louisville
No. 439: We gauge how good a father you'll be by how you treat your family. Alexandria Pruitt, 24, Louisville
No. 562: We know our orgasms can be difficult. Just keep at it. Alexandria Pruitt, 24, Louisville
No. 574: Most successful men have a strong woman by his side. That would be us. Amanda Allen, 24, Salt Lake City
No. 725: You have the power to make us feel like the only girl in the room. Use it wisely (and often). Katie Holleran, 23, Winchester, Massachusetts
No. 343: Those times you remember the small details of our stories like a random friend's name is when we can tell you care. Alexandria Pruitt, 24, Louisville
No. 651: Never underestimate the power of a kiss on the forehead. Katie Holleran, 23, Winchester, Massachusetts
No. 317: When you challenge your lady to a game and lose, lose with a smile. Not with a broken tennis racket... for instance. Michelle Schindler, 25, New York
No. 697: Sometimes we think we're in love, and then we see your Facebook profile. Alexis Justman, 23, El Centro, California
No. 259: Honestly, we don't mind watching hours of Grand Theft Auto if we feel included. Katie Holleran, 23, Winchester, Massachusetts
No. 330: Take us to Florence. But not in the summer. Too many tourists. Rhiannon Falzone, 26, Chicago
No. 105: A five-star restaurant is rarely better than eating cold pizza on the couch with you. Katie Holleran, 23, Winchester, Massachusetts
No. 158: We like it when you stand in the dressing room with us. And give compliments. Molly Rosen, 33, Chicago
No. 127: "I love you." It's better when it's rare, spontaneous, and really meaningful. Katie Holleran, 23, Winchester, Massachusetts
No. 245: Women in their twenties may look good while doing it, but most of them are thinking about how they look while they're doing it. Which means they aren't thinking about what they are doing. After their twenties, we have learned that feeling good is better than looking good. We also know that right after we use our good stuff with you, we're going to get the cuddling all those twentysomethings are bitching about. Lisa Huber, 38, Teutopolis, Illinois
No. 993: Red, black, silky, leather, animal print if any of these are adjectives that can be applied to your bedroom decor, we may still sleep over, but don't count on a call back. Alexis Justman, 23, El Centro, California
No. 740: Buying us a candy bar is a surprising and effective gesture. Who doesn't like a candy bar? Katie Holleran, 23, Winchester, Massachusetts
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No. 289: A woman has certain spots that are for touching, squeezing, and pushing. These do not include her buttons. Michelle Schindler, 25, New York
No. 378: Girls like to whine. It's a fact. Brittany Brundage, 21, Orem, Utah
No. 431: There is nothing sexier than following through. If you say you're going to do something, please do it. Brittany Brundage, 21, Orem, Utah
No. 598: When we say we want to share a dessert, we really mean we want you to have just one bite and offer the rest to us. We were planning on eating the entire lava cake ourselves anyway, but this way we don't feel guilty. Aimee Couture, 22, New York
No. 675: Keep in mind that we'll read any e-mail you might leave open on the computer. It's our nature. (And yours too, by the way.) Leticia Frazao, 25, New York
No. 689: Please be the man we know and love, even when we're at a barbeque reunion with your frat brothers. Aimee Couture, 22, New York
No. 399: Nothing is quite as comforting as a big, man hug. Safe, warm, firm, but yielding. Danielle Maupai, 28, Green Pond, New Jersey
No. 849: If you want to impress a girl, tell her you've heard of Say Yes to the Dress and leave it at that. Your feelings about the show are not important. Jessica Brunelle, 22, Boston
No. 833: There are two acceptable forms of hair product for you: undetectable and nonexistent. Alexis Justman, 23, El Centro, California
No. 710: We would rather take a hot-air balloon ride than grab drinks. If you don't have a hot-air balloon, just be creative. Aimee Couture, 22, New York
No. 590: Even if we assure you we don't believe in Valentine's Day, buy the damn flowers. It couldn't be easier. Alexis Justman, 23, El Centro, California
No. 597: We won't judge you for that occasional girly drink. Just be sure to give us a sip. Aimee Couture, 22, New York
No. 858: Life gets so busy, sometimes it's nice to have someone to make choices for you. Even if it is just the Friday night movie. Dani Ruiz, 22, Encinitas, California
No. 514: We do enjoy the gift of expensive jewelry. We just like to pick it out. Danica Peterson, 22, Providence
No. 182: It's better when you make the effort to do simple things often than trying to make up for making no effort by doing something big and over-the-top. Chantal Marchessault, 22, Gulfport, Florida
No. 307: Don't go to strip clubs. Just don't. Katie Holleran, 23, Winchester, Massachusetts
No. 530: When a woman brings you to a store to show you something on more than one occasion, do you think maybe she wants you to buy it for her? Maybe? Danica Peterson, 22, Providence
No. 490: There is no excuse for you to buy us lingerie for our birthday, anniversary, and Valentine's Day, all in the same year. Danica Peterson, 22, Providence
No. 822: Whistling of any kind tends to make us walk faster in the opposite direction. Jessica Brunelle, 22, Boston
No. 808: We can almost always tell how much porn you watch on a regular basis after sleeping with you the first time. Like, don't rip the panties off before getting to second base. Better to be vanilla than embarrassed. Alexis Justman, 23, El Centro, California
No. 770: We can tell when the gift was purchased at the last minute. But we still like it. Jessica Brunelle, 22, Boston
No. 239: Your knowing the difference between stilettos and flats is totally adorable. Chantal Marchessault, 22, Gulfport, Florida
No. 629: Some of us may feel the need to make up a reason to walk out on you at a crucial moment, just so you can show us you'll come chasing. Sorry. Alexis Justman, 23, El Centro, California
No. 160: To be truly appreciated and acknowledged for what we do is better than any gift. This is actually true. Joanna Jaeger, 50, Milpitas, California
No. 230 We love your clothes, so be willing to share. This includes large sweatshirts. Katie Holleran, 23, Winchester, Massachusetts
No. 366: When we wear high heels, we expect you to still be taller than us. Sarah Grieco, 21, Fairfax, Virginia
No. 665: A single rose means more on a random Wednesday than two-dozen mean on Valentine's Day. Aimee Couture, 22, New York
No. 472: Watching a football game with you is fine, as long as you explain the rules to us before, during, and after. Sarah Grieco, 21, Fairfax, Virginia
No. 484: Let a girl get to know you for you before you show her your bank account. Aimee Couture, 22, New York
No. 513: We watch porn, we're just better at erasing our browser's history. Julia Race, 19, Virginia Beach, Virginia
No. 620: We always, always wonder why you're watching the highlights from the game that just ended. Kelly Greene, 35, San Diego
No. 779: Your natural smell is (usually) the sexiest cologne. Sarah Spry, 20, New York
No. 969: We need to be invited to parties, even if we don't plan on going, or even want to go all. Brianna Shepard, 46, Santa Monica
No. 459: Playing with your neighbor/sister/friend's kids in the park is sexy; asking if we want kids on the first date is not. Aimee Couture, 22, New York
No. 745: Women love to take pictures. Sometimes at annoying moments. That's a fact you just need to accept. Jessica Brunelle, 22, Boston
No. 923: Don't fall victim to bad posture. Be as tall as you possibly can. Anna Szapiro, 21, Takoma Park, Maryland
No. 998: An appreciation for the natural look is a huge bonus. Sarah Spry, 20, New York
No. 977: The only thing we love more than when you call your mom is when you call your grandma. Juliet Garlow, 20, Silver Spring, Maryland
No. 945: Speedos are never okay. Nancy Sanchez, 29, Los Angeles
No. 323: We suck in our stomach every time you see us naked. Darci Trudgeon, 27, Lansing, Michigan
No. 910: Putting dishes in the sink doesn't count as doing the dishes. Sarah Maher, 30, Washington, D.C.
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No. 351: We love five oclock shadows, aesthetically, because we all have an Indian Jones complex. But they hurt like a motherfucker. Emma Backe, 19, Strafford, Pennsylvania
No. 255: There is such thing as too much PDA. Chantal Marchessault, 22, Gulfport, Florida
No. 841: We might like your particularly tight pants, as long as no body parts are visible through them. Anna Szapiro, 21, Takoma Park, Maryland
No. 548: Ladies rooms are mostly for talking. Jessie Scherer, 22, Berkeley, California
No. 566: More dirt bikes, fewer manicures. And we're talking about us. Kelly McEtchin, 21, Pleasanton, California
No. 735: Calling us hot, beautiful gorgeous, or sexy, always sounds better than "cute." Carrie Dienhart, 34, Kansas City, Missouri
No. 884: Sure, we love your sensitive side. But there are at least some movies at which you should not cry. Alexis Justman, 23, El Centro, California
No. 217: Kissing before the cigarette is better. Kourtney Cole, 22, Chino Hills, California
No. 826: Make reservations. Dani Ruiz, 22, Encinitas, California
No. 170: Heres a theory: Our mothers never told us how hard it was to be a parent because they wanted grandchildren. Joanna Jaeger, 50, Milpitas, California
No. 540: We want to know everything there is to know about your ex-girlfriend. Its up to you to assure us that she never, ever existed. Alexis Justman, 23, El Centro, California
No. 717: There is nothing cute, interesting, or worthwhile about self-deprecation. If you dont think you are worth my time, neither will I. Kady Ruth Ashcraft, 19, College Park, Maryland
No. 804: We're sorry we even have to ask but, are you actually chewing with your mouth open? Anna Szapiro, 21, Takoma Park, Maryland
No. 333: A man whos afraid of dogs is a man we don't trust. Juliet Garlow, 20, Silver Spring, Maryland
No. 406: You actually can tell everything about a guy by his shoes. Dani Ruiz, 22, Encinitas, California
No. 338: If we really do look fat in something, by all means say so. But you don't actually have to use the word "fat." Kourtney Cole, 22, Chino Hills, California
No. 268: If you ask how good you looked doing something, we might be honest. So ask yourself first whether you really want to know. Kourtney Cole, 22, Chino Hills, California
No. 486: Acting slightly goofy on occasion doesn't make us think you're any less manly. Hannah Schultz, 21, San Diego
No. 760: Please dont name the following things: your car, your cell phone, and the other thing. Kelly Greene, 35, San Diego
No. 899: Own your chest hair. Anna Szapiro, 21, Takoma Park, Maryland
No. 793: Sometimes we like to pretend we are living in a chick flick. So don't worry about any romantic gestures being overly cheesy. There is no such thing as overly cheesy. Dani Ruiz, 22, Encinitas, California
No. 927: When we don't call or text back immediately after the first date, we are probably still obsessing over it, so you should let us know that you are, too. Alexis Justman, 23, El Centro, California
No. 875: We like to gossip with you just as much as we do with our friends. Juliet Garlow, 20, Silver Spring, Maryland
No. 938: Dont pinch our waists. We dont pinch yours. Anna Szapiro, 21, Takoma Park, Maryland
No. 700: As long as theres no second meal in your beard, we dont care how long it is. Juliet Garlow, 20, Silver Spring, Maryland
No. 41: If you cant grow a beard, dont try. Ellen Freeman, 21, Philadelphia
No. 371: Weve given up on expecting you to understand the difference between a beach towel, a guest towel, a rag, and a dishtowel. Jennifer OConnell, 29. Monterey, California
No. 639: Dont put your tongue in my ear. You can put it anywhere else. But not the ear. Kady Ruth Ashcraft, 19, College Park, Maryland
No. 427: Its sort of cute when you cry for a good reason. Watching a movie is usually not a good reason. Brenna Mork, 21, Norfolk
No. 179: Dirty like being covered in oil and grease can be attractive. It reminds us that youre useful. Grace Smith Vidaurre, 21, Jamestown, Rhode Island
No. 434: We appreciate the kind of guy that would rather see us in a pair of slip-on Vans. Laura ODell, 23, San Diego, California
No. 680: We like it when you wear your running shoes to exercise. We dont like when you wear your running shoes any other time than that. Dana Ballard, 21, Silver Spring, Maryland
No. 752: Real men unapologetically like classic rock. Katrina Gonzalez, 25, Fremont, California
No. 783: Fifty percent of the time we say we're just kidding, we're actually telling the truth. Elizabeth Williges, 21, Benicia, California
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No. 28: Sometimes we just want to be alone. It's not you. It's us. Really. Jennifer Smith, 34, Atlanta
No. 32: We pretty much hate you when you order a salad. That's what we have girlfriends for. If you diet, we need to diet. So, when you order a salad, you're essentially calling us fat. Kirsten Hall, 35, New York
No. 58: We really don't mind you playing video games. But if there's something we really need to talk about, and you're distracted by your Xbox now we have a problem with the video game. You see how that works? Wesleann Polkowske, 29, Austin
No. 206: Push us against elevator walls. Don't make us do it every time. Rhiannon Falzone, 26, Chicago
No. 305: Women have been passive-aggressive since Eve plucked the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden. Don't question why we do this; just learn to decode it. Maura E. McGill, 29, New York
No. 608: Learn how to make banana pancakes, please. Rhiannon Falzone, 26, Chicago
No. 855: Making us laugh is the sexiest thing you can do. Abby Moulton, 30, Farmington Hills, Michigan
No. 529: It's total horseshit that women dress for other women it's for the lads. Haiyen Chin, 33, Brooklyn
No. 561: Don't be afraid to mention something you've been dreaming of trying in bed, we've probably been thinking the same thing. Rachael Candee 24, Bloomington, Indiana
No. 458: We can whine and talk behind the backs of our friends. But you probably shouldn't. Nina Fortuna, 25, New York
No. 286: If you're not a professional athlete, how good you are at sports matters very little to us. Lindsay Coluccio, 33, Newport Beach, California
No. 576: We might like sex even more than you do. Shannon McCarthy, 24, Valencia, California
No. 685: Jewelry? I'd prefer a vibrator as a gift, thank you very much. Melissa VanDerLinden, 27, Springfield, Missouri
No. 35: It's okay to stink a little. A hint of body odor actually makes you seem more manly. We like the guy who works so hard he breaks a sweat. As long as it's not the result of a Call of Duty 4 marathon. Kirsten Hall, 35, New York
No. 596: Within a year of dating you, we already know your jeans size, social security number, and important passwords by heart. So try and make sure you know a few things about us, too. Like our favorite color. Melissa VanDerLinden, 27, Springfield, Missouri
No. 226: When we're awake, we're always thinking. Feel free to ask "What are you thinking?" We'll always have an answer. Melissa VanDerLinden, 27, Springfield, Missouri
No. 778: Asking me to join you for a cigarette generally doesn't work as a pick-up line, particularly if we don't smoke. Rachel Henke, 21, Quincy, Illinois
No. 617: When we're out together, and we see a tall, leggy model, remember: tall, leggy models are not your type. Maura E. McGill, 29, New York
No. 258: While we may say we buy lingerie for you, we buy it because it makes us feel sexy. Turning you on is icing on the cake. Courtney Harper, 23, Sherman Oaks, California
No. 120: Plan mini road trips. Make CDs. Burn us a copy. If you give a little notice, we'll pack lunch. Some of us make really good pasta salad. Rhiannon Falzone, 26, Chicago
No. 339: We love staying in, cooking dinner or ordering pizza, and splitting a bottle of wine. Courtney Harper, 23, Sherman Oaks, California
No. 464: Being thought of is awesome. Tips for when you're at work: send me a link to something I would like, or text a picture of something that made you think of me, or a note that you heard a song on the radio that reminded you of me. Stacey Whiteley, 40, Albany, New York
No. 165: Most of us look in the mirror thinking about all the things we wish were different so tell us we're beautiful, even if it seems obvious that we are. Melissa VanDerLinden, 27, Springfield, Missouri
No. 638: When we're out alone and have to go to the bathroom we ask the nearest female even if they're a stranger if they'd like to go too. It's just protocol. Yahaira Ulloa, 28, Elmwood Park, New Jersey
No. 782: We're into talking dirty. Maura E. McGill, 29, New York
No. 869: Although we like gifts, they shouldn't come straight out of a Hallmark commercial. Maura E. McGill, 29, New York
No. 692: We want to feel desired. Hand us a flower, and we might faint. Maya Contreras, 34, Brooklyn
No. 390: Always say yes if I ask you if you noticed my new haircut. Even if it's just a trim! Sarah Jayne Kinney, 24, Boardman, Ohio
No. 402: A woman is like a mid-19th century antique musket, without the proper maintenance she will rust and fall apart. Or rather, you should respect her. Joanna Borns, 25, West Lafayette, Indiana
No. 835: Try to limit the number of times you ask us what's wrong some days we just wake up crabby for no reason at all. And 70 percent of the time it has nothing to do with you. Relax. Rhiannon Falzone, 26, Chicago
No. 471: We've really got our fingers crossed that beer commercials don't represent real men. Joanna Borns, 25, West Lafayette, Indiana
No. 672: No matter how many times I say not right now, I always want to be propositioned. Molly Farrell, 30, New Haven, Connecticut
No. 364: Snoring is funny sometimes even cute when we start dating. Give it a while though, and it can be grounds for divorce. Kelly Carney, 29, Chicago
No. 241: We don't suggest using "baby" when you don't remember a woman's name. We suggest remembering a woman's name. Colleen Clark, 29, Brooklyn
No. 506: If a woman is taller than you (or shorter than you by less than an inch or two), don't make any snide remarks when she wears heels. Just don't. Brooke Carey, 24, Queens, New York
No. 662: You don't have to make the bed in the morning. Your socks can miss the hamper nine out of 10 times. It's not the end of the world when you don't replace the toilet paper. Just say thanks. Kirsten Hall, 35, New York
No. 443: When buying clothing for us, unless you know the up-to-date exact size, go one size smaller. Sarah Jayne Kinney, 24, Boardman, Ohio
No. 635: Never mind. Just don't buy clothes for us, unless we're there. Sarah Jayne Kinney, 24, Boardman, Ohio
No. 812: Supply the condoms. Brooke Carey, 24, Queens, New York
No. 881: If a girl wears a sexy outfit and then invites you back to her place (or goes to yours), that's your invitation to make a move. It doesn't necessarily mean she will sleep with you, but it does mean she has already considered it. And she probably shaved her legs that day. Brooke Carey, 24, Queens, New York
No. 482: To us, romance isn't dead. Even if we've been married for years. Maura E. McGill, 29, New York
No. 738: We pluck hairs out of places you would never imagine. It's probably best that you don't know all the locations. Kelly Carney, 29, Chicago
No. 650: We like guys that are into other girls. We like the challenge. Rachael Keck, 22, Cincinnati
No. 468: We aren't all romantic comedy junkies. Some of us would rather watch The Godfather. Except Part III. Rhiannon Falzone, 26, Chicago
No. 519: When we cry and you don't know why, just know this: We'll be back shortly. Rachel Crader, 23, Leopold, Missouri
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No. 377: Some of us have fantasies about women. And they don't involve Cinemax style soft-core plots. Maura E. McGill, 29, New York
No. 384: We're never going to stop hoping for an N'SYNC reunion. Rachel Crader, 23, Leopold, Missouri
No. 276: Accents are nice, sure. But they're not an excuse to talk about yourself all night. Brooke Carey, 24, Queens, New York
No. 647: We need another pair of shoes like you need another sports jersey. Rachel Crader, 23, Leopold, Missouri
No. 648: Also: we worry really and truly worry about our shoes not matching our purse. Rachel Crader, 23, Leopold, Missouri
No. 453: Don't ever let us win. Sarah Wright, 21, New York
No. 305: We don't respond to yelling construction workers. Sarah Wright, 21, New York
No. 719: If it looks like a woman and her friend are having a good conversation, it's absolutely not a good time to try and meet them. Katie Dinardo, 23, Brooklyn, NY
No. 876: If a woman gives you her phone number for the sole purpose of wrapping up a project at work, it doesn't count as "getting her number." Naomi Weisbrook, 28, Columbia, Missouri
No. 982: Remember how we take our coffee, eggs, and In-N-Out burgers. Your attention to detail is what makes us love you. Jennifer Trinh, 24, Irvine, California
No. 926: Wearing a phone earpiece makes you look like a drug dealer. Katie Dinardo, 23, Brooklyn
No. 678: We're sorry that we sometimes forget to label e-mails NSFW. But honestly, every now and then we do it on purpose. Jennifer Trinh, 24, Irvine, California
No. 708: We're completely jealous that you get to take your shirt off in public when it's scorching out. Sarah Wright, 21, New York
No. 768: Abs, biceps, pecs we think your naked ankles peeping out of canvas shoes are much sexier. Jennifer Trinh, 24, Irvine, California
No. 379: If we wear sexy lingerie, take a deep breath, just a moment to appreciate it. Think about it: if we wanted you to just take it off, we would have gone commando. Brooke Carey, 24, Queens, New York
No. 250: We are just as obsessed with other women's breasts as you are. Brooke Carey, 24, Queens, New York
No. 149: We will love you more if you deny the fact that we are crazy. Michelle Dalpont, 22, Costa Mesa, California
No. 411: A little thing about sex: Its better when you don't ask for it. Michelle Dalpont, 22, Costa Mesa, California
No. 545: It's not just moms that know everything. Whitney Tressel, 24, Youngstown, Ohio
No. 296: Don't suggest going as a pair to a Halloween party. Corny isn't clever. Whitney Tressel, 24, Youngstown, Ohio
No. 331: Let us go with you to Guys' Night, every now and then. It makes us feel cool. Sarah Wright, 21, New York
No. 606: Texting at dinner. You've got to be kidding. Whitney Tressel, 24, Youngstown, Ohio
No. 462: We're surprisingly impressed when you remember tricky-to-pronounce designers: Balenciaga, Marchesa, Ann Demeulemeester. Jennifer Trinh, 24, Irvine, California
No. 491: It's fine if you don't like our friends. What's really important to us is that they like you. Kate Goldwater, 26, Milwaukee
No. 633: You should be able to read our minds at all times. Monica Thakkar, 26, Houston
No. 580: We like it when you're direct. So just say it. Leticia Frazao, 25, New York
No. 474: When I take you shopping, encouraging me to go into boutiques makes me want to pull you into the dressing room. Jennifer Trinh, 24, Irvine, California
No. 254: Even if you think we should work out to relieve stress, this is what it sounds like to us: "you're fat." Leticia Frazao, 25, New York
No. 353: Note: We're better at math than you might think. Sarah Wright, 21, New York
No. 263: Giving a back massage doesn't always have to lead to sex. Volunteer at your own risk. Sarah Jayne Kinney, 24, Boardman, Ohio
No. 389: Those few times we ask you to buy the tampons: it's a life or death situation. Elsie Gonzáles, 24, Mayagüez, Puerto Rico
No. 536: A coffee shop, plus a great conversation, beats a walk on the beach. Hands down. Lupita Trigos, 24, Mexico City, Mexico
No. 627: We notice if you wear the same pair of shoes all the time. A couple more pairs wouldn't hurt but we should always have more. Way more. Luce Melendez, 22, New York
No. 523: Tears? They're weapons. We really don't care half the time. Joanne Martinez, 23, Brooklyn
No. 958: When we see you, we immediately think about what you'll look like with your shirt off. Were just too timid to say it. Tiffany Brown, 28, Brooklyn
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No. 830: A thoughtful gift is better than an expensive one. But expensive gifts can be nice too. Sarah Jayne Kinney, 24, Boardman, Ohio
No. 759: Never honk when picking us up. Rhiannon Falzone, 25, Chicago
No. 667: Don't feel threatened when other men chat us up. If you have a good woman on your hands, there's nothing to worry about. Believe us. Maya Contreras, 34, Brooklyn
No. 440: We love it when you're put together. Alana Reich, 20, Brooklyn
No. 398: We know we talk a lot. We just love words speaking them, writing them and there are times when we just want you to be our sounding board. Maya Contreras, 34, Brooklyn
No. 270: Make us coffee and breakfast in the morning and we might just love you forever. Maura E. McGill, 29, New York
No. 329: We love it when you put the seat down. Sarah Jayne Kinney, 24, Boardman, Ohio
No. 138: Foot rubs, back rubs, head rubs. Rhiannon Falzone, 25, Chicago
No. 407: At the end of a first date: Walk us to the door, say you hope we had a good time, and ask if you can call us again. Rhiannon Falzone, 25, Chicago
No. 315: Even a text can be thoughtful, if it means you're thinking of us. Leticia Frazao, 25, New York
No. 637: We're grateful for our feminist predecessors. But certain aspects of being a housewife don't seem half bad. Stephanie Weir, 29, St. Louis
No. 751: If a woman at the bar claims to be a lesbian, or says, "She and I are together," there's a chance she's straight, and not interested. Heather Brecht, 22, San Diego
No. 322: We notice hot guys all the time, but we're discreet. Melissa VanDerLinden, 27, Springfield, Missouri
No. 108: The phrase "stop calling" has a subtext: no texts, either. Rachel Henke, 21, Quincy, Illinois
No. 280: Don't comment on how much or how little we eat. Haiyen Chin, 33, Brooklyn
No. 846: When you're running out the door, stop and give us a hug. And a kiss. We'll remember it all day. Courtney Harper, 23, Sherman Oaks, California
No. 935: Even if we're your wife, don't stop thinking of us as your girlfriend. Suzanne Smith, 39, Queens, New York
No. 549: We love to stare at our pores in the mirror. Lan Nguyen, 24, Huntington Beach, California
No. 613: As men, you tend to forget things. As women, it takes us twice as many good thoughts to get rid of bad thoughts. Lan Nguyen, 24, Huntington Beach, California
No. 303: We think Stefon from Family Matters is hot. Lan Nguyen, 24, Huntington Beach, California
No. 942: The more you ask for confirmation that you are not, in fact, balding, the more convinced we become that, now that you mention it, in fact, you are. Molly Erman, 25, New York
No. 504: Using coupons to pay for a date is not okay under any circumstance, ever. If you utter the word "Groupon" on a first date, there won't be a second. Molly Erman, 25, New York
No. 475: We like sensitivity. That doesn't mean we like hearing about your therapy sessions. Molly Erman, 25, New York
No. 754: Watching you eat soft serve out of a cone makes us uncomfortable. Molly Erman, 25, New York
No. 188: Building our Ikea furniture for us is sexy and does not go unnoticed. Maybe it's the Scandinavian thing. Molly Erman, 25, New York
No. 83: Surprise! We hate Elsa Peretti. Molly Erman, 25, New York
No. 266: We notice when you give up your seat on the train or bus. Every time. Esther Choi, 31, Chicago
No. 496: We measure your manliness against the percentage of time you spend whimpering when afflicted with a head cold. Stephanie Krema, 30, Chicago
No. 151: Don't assume every woman you go out with is dying to be in a relationship. Women be shoppin'. Joanna Borns, 25, West Lafayette, Indiana
No. 957: If we've gone to all the trouble of nicknaming your penis, you should at least return the favor. Joanna Borns, 25, West Lafayette, Indiana
No. 865: "High-maintenance" is a term that should be used to describe old cars, toy poodles, historic buildings, and never women. Joanna Borns, 25, West Lafayette, Indiana
No. 134: We don't want you to have any female friends, despite our having male friends. We just don't trust other women. Because we are women. Lan Nguyen, 24, Huntington Beach, California
No. 360: We do a billion things to our skin, hair, nails, etc. just to keep them pretty. Notice. Lan Nguyen, 24, Huntington Beach, California
No. 709: We don't want to watch you play Grand Theft Auto unless you let us play and give us the cheat codes for the chainsaw and the jetpack. Joanna Borns, 25, West Lafayette, Indiana
No. 640: Be sure to give us regular updates on the progress of your fantasy football team. Kidding! Joanna Borns, 25, West Lafayette, Indiana
No. 342: When we tell you you look cute, it also means sexy and hot. Cute is just the go-to word for that. Take it seriously. Michelle Manchir, 25, Richmond, Indiana
No. 983: We are not all impressed by guitar players. Everyone can play three chords of "Lake of Fire." Michelle Manchir, 25, Richmond, Indiana
No. 391: Just make sure no part of your body is smelly, okay? Michelle Manchir, 25, Richmond, Indiana
No. 162: We will never ask for popcorn or candy at movies but if you get some we will always help you eat it. Michelle Manchir, 25, Richmond, Indiana
No. 238: Compliments on our clothes when sincere are generally unexpected and loved. And it's so easy. Michelle Manchir, 25, Richmond, Indiana
No. 827: Confederacy of Dunces? The Unbearable Lightness of Being? It kind of freaks us out that men gravitate towards books about losers and misogynists. Colleen Clark, 29, Brooklyn
No. 946: Sometimes, the best gift you can give us is to start humming a song that suits a moment. Sharon Morrison, 61, Montreal, Quebec
No. 731: We get satisfaction from fixing or healing someone who really needs us to fix or heal him. Sharon Morrison, 61, Montreal, Quebec
woman sunbathing
No. 677: It's sexy when you play with babies. Monica Thakkar, 26, Houston, Texas
No. 809: If you have an X-Men poster, it had better not be in a frame. If you have a college-era tie-dyed tapestry, take it down. Colleen Egan, 30, New York
No. 277: Actually, if you have an X-Men poster, take it down. Colleen Egan, 30, New York
No. 383: Those shoes that are a cross between a bowling shoe and a sneaker you know, the ones you thought were a really cool alternative to dress shoes? They're not. Throw them out. For the love of all that is good. Colleen Clark, 29, Brooklyn
No. 290: Old Spice. Then. Now. Forever. Takes a girl right back to backseat make-outs and missing curfew. Colleen Clark, 29, Brooklyn
No. 788: If she tells you to never call her again and hangs up on the phone with you, there is a fifty percent chance your girlfriend will be waiting near her phone for you to call her. Louise Truong, 21, Anaheim, California
No. 257: We throw away delicious chocolate ice cream cake when people are around so we seem conscious about what we eat, but then plow through a family size bag of Cheeto puffs in the privacy of our own rooms. Lan Nguyen, 24, Huntington Beach, California
No. 372: If you don't know that Cookie Crisp is bad for you, make an effort to learn at least a little bit about food and nutrition. Michelle Manchir, 25, Richmond, Indiana
No. 454: We never, ever want to get matching jerseys and attend a sporting event with you. Michelle Manchir, 25, Richmond, Indiana
No. 422: We don't all know the words to Journey songs, but if you do, we won't judge. Michelle Manchir, 25, Richmond, Indiana
No. 211: When we tell you that we want to be friends after you break up with us, it's because we think that at some point we will get naked in front of you and reel you back in. Lan Nguyen, 24, Huntington Beach, California
No. 585: Food preparation takes lots more time than buying flowers. Alix Stoll, 52, Levittown, New York
No. 853: Whatever mean things we say about your ex, it's in your best interest to agree with us, even if it's completely unfounded. When you don't, you have just waved a red flag in front of an already pissed off bull. And your shit is gonna get broke. Kt McBratney, 27, Omaha
No. 917: Don't underestimate the power of telling us that we're beautiful. This works for more than you might be aware of. Molly Erman, 25, New York
No. 970: And yeah, damnit, not calling does keep us interested. Molly Erman, 25, New York
No. 842: Your super-close relationship with your mother freaks us out. Molly Erman, 25, New York
No. 885: Sex is not a race to see who orgasms first. In fact, if you try to finish first, we won't give you a chance to make up for it. Kt McBratney, 27, Omaha
No. 320: Sometimes, we just complain about our periods so you leave us alone. Kt McBratney, 27, Omaha
No. 251: Women want sex, too. Probably as much as you. But we're ladies. And we do get headaches. Jennifer Davidick, 30, Hazelton, Pennsylvania
No. 412: We may say we're sports fans, but we're probably trying to impress you. Don't ask us to watch the game. That's like calling our bluff. Michele Pepio, Staten Island, New York
No. 565: If you're shit-talking your ex, her friends, her pets, or her job, we wonder what you might say about us someday. Ainsley Drew Nelson, 28, New York
No. 771: Things we feel guilty about loving: breakfast at fast food restaurants, songs by Fergie, sparkly shoes. Michelle Manchir, 25, Richmond, Indiana
No. 975: Have at least one semi-healthy breakfast food available in your dwelling at all times. Michelle Manchir, 25, Richmond, Indiana
No. 693: If we tell you we might be open to a threesome, don't bring up your ex-girlfriend as a possible third, or you'll be lucky to get a twosome. Carrie Gelzleichter, 28, Tempe, Arizona
No. 502: We are acutely aware of the fact that by "fixing" something that's broken, you often mean taking it apart and not being able to put it back together. Maura E. McGill, 29, New York
No. 436: Honest truly is the best policy, even if it means saying those jeans really do make our butt look fat. Jen Russell, 26, Mexico, Montana
No. 749: Drunk dialing: Fun for you, not fun for us. Maura E. McGill
No. 664: Sometimes not always, but sometimes the best thing you can respond with is, "It sounds like you're pretty upset about this, aren't you?" Molly Farrell, 30, New Haven, Connecticut
No. 455: We think movies, books, TV shows, and plays are never objectively bad or good you just either like it or you don't. Men somehow think there's a right answer. Molly Farrell, 30, New Haven, Connecticut
No. 191: We dig on your hot friends. They make you look hotter. We want to flirt with them. We want them to want us. We won't actually do anything with them. But they are an unquestionable asset of yours. Kirsten Hall, 35, New York
No. 348: We fucking hate catcalls. Molly Farrell, 30, New Haven, Connecticut
No. 347: Don't ever say, "Give us a smile." Molly Farrell, 30, New Haven, Connecticut
No. 272: We've said it before, we'll say it again: The best pickup line is "Hi, my name is ___. What's yours?" Molly Farrell, 30, New Haven
No. 137: We would actually love men to make more decisions. It's tiring deciding what to do for dinner, where to go out to eat, what movie to watch, etc. A little help calling the smaller shots, please. Melissa VanDerLinden, 27, Springfield, Missouri
No. 943: We own hundreds of Martha Stewart magazines stacks and stacks. We haven't read any of them. Melissa VanDerLinden, 27, Springfield, Missouri
No. 176: We let you win. It's just easier this way. Melissa VanDerLinden, 27, Springfield, Missouri
No. 636: We want to know what you're thinking; even if you don't know what you're thinking yet. Jodie Love, 25, Brooklyn
No. 813: Just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean you're going to suddenly turn blind to other women that's unnatural and just plain weird. But please, do it more discreetly than you already think you are. Learn from us. We do it without being detected. Haiyen Chin, 33, Brooklyn
No. 781: Just go ahead and admit you like watching Glee, too. Jennifer Trinh, 24, Irvine, California
No. 470: We say that we think about our boyfriends all the time. We really mean it, and to a disturbing degree. Lan Nguyen, 24, Huntington Beach, California
No. 225: When we say that we want a date night, we don't need all the bells and whistles. Just a little thought. Lan Nguyen, 24, Huntington Beach, California
No. 148: We know you notice when we've missed a spot shaving. Thank you for not pointing it out. Thank you for not idly playing with it as well. Jennifer Trinh, 24, Irvine, California
No. 410: We will give you a massage if you ask, as long as we get one in return. Courtney Harper, 23, Sherman Oaks, California
woman laying in grass
No. 324: We take so long to get ready because we like dressing up and we like when you check us out at a party. It's really all for that one moment. Courtney Harper, 23, Sherman Oaks, California
No. 909: That thing where you get in a woman's face on the street and ask repeatedly for her number? Has that ever actually worked for any man, ever? Rachel Giuliani, 27, Brooklyn
No. 848: We like a man who has other girlfriends so he doesn't give us too much trouble. Sharon Morrison, 61, Montreal, Quebec
No. 696: We like a man who can pull slivers out. Sharon Morrison, 61, Montreal, Quebec
No. 365: We won't think less of you if you pee sitting down. It just makes sense. Rachel Giuliani, 27, Brooklyn
No. 572: If we lock eyes with you whilst we're bumping and grinding with someone else male or female on the dance floor, buckle up. Cancel tomorrow morning's appointments. Stock the prophylactic supply. Kirsten Hall, 35, New York
No. 986: Even if you only know how to cook one thing, master that thing. Rachel Giuliani, 27, Brooklyn
No. 712: If you have yet to see your girlfriend try on your jeans, it's because she doesn't fit them. Lauren Cusimano, 24, Phoenix
No. 892: Smiling and nodding is a sign of boredom, not of interest. Annie Hawkins, 28, New York
No. 528: Asking you to become friends on Facebook simply means that we want to be friends on Facebook. Try not to read into it. Annie Hawkins, 28, New York
No. 376: Tip of the day: It's almost as bad to use too little product in your hair as too much. Rein it in if it needs reining. Annie Hawkins, 28, New York
No. 249: Remember the girl's name that you just slept with, and do not use a nickname like "baby" to hide the fact you can't remember. You're not good at it. Kimberly Sentner, 30, Brooklyn
No. 295: When saying three big words, do not A) Look the other way so the girl isn't sure who you're talking to. B) Tap it in Morse code on her lips. C) Say it so quietly we have to ask you to repeat it because we honestly couldn't hear it. Kimberly Sentner, 30, Brooklyn
No. 612: Some women have picked out baby names since they were teenagers. We often have to change them because the ones we originally loved have become too popular and we want our child to be one-of-a-kind. This is not an attempt to freak you out. It's in our nature. Rhiannon Falzone, 25, Chicago
No. 586: Fart jokes are funny. You farting is not. Stacey Whiteley, 40, Albany, New York
No. 765: If you want to try something new in bed, try not to spring it on us during the act. Discuss, then do. You'll get much better results. Stacey Whiteley, 40, Albany, New York
No. 311: We as women want to be independent, but it would be awesome if you could save us some money by paying for everything. Yahaira Ulloa, 28, Elmwood Park, New Jersey
No. 394: I'd say about 987 of the thousand things guys don't know about women involve the G-spot. Maura E. McGill, 29, New York
No. 557: Talking about your ex too much or never talking about her at all are both considered to be highly suspect behavior. You can't win that one. Maura E. McGill, 29, New York
No. 866: We like vacations. Lots of vacations. Maura E. McGill, 29, New York
No. 953: Confidence, not arrogance. Maura E. McGill, 29, New York
No. 828: With the recession, some men feel like they can't afford to take their lady out to a nice dinner, but don't let that get in your way of being creative: Pack us two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, a bottle of wine, a blanket and walk us to a park. See? Maya Contreras, 34, Brooklyn
No. 679: Belching after a meal is not a compliment. Shannon Ingram, 58, Mission Viejo, California
No. 534: If we ask you to split dessert, shut up, smile, and do it. Carolyn Morgan, 33, Irvine, California
No. 424: Guys hate it when girls are super-insecure and constantly need to verification that they look good? Well, we hate it when you do it too. Alissa Stewart, 24, San Francisco
No. 799: You already know everything about women. You just choose to ignore it. Canelle Boughton, 23, New York
No. 802: There's not a Merry Maid service who comes to clean up after you when you leave the kitchen. Didn't know that, did you? Rebecca Kassirer, 29, Poughkeepsie, New York
No. 959: We are approachable. Aliza Brinn, 21, New York
No. 922: Just because we sometimes get mad about something stupid, like you putting your dirty shoe on our bed, doesn't mean you shouldn't take us seriously when we're mad about you forgetting our date. Rachel Heaton, 22, Columbia, Missouri
No. 537: Every woman who has ever said she didn't like a man with a hairy chest changed her mind the first time she dated one. Shannon Beckett, 20, Cincinnati
No. 335: We will be jealous when you talk to other girls. It doesn't mean we don't trust you, that's just the way it is. Carrie Gelzleichter, 28, Tempe, Arizona
woman smiling in field
No. 610: If it's a choice between seeing us or seeing your friends, we always want you to pick us. Monica Thakkar, 26, Houston
No. 542: Just because we're vegetarian doesn't mean we care if you are. Stop freaking out. Monica Thakkar, 26, Houston
No. 91: We pretend to be jealous of the attention you give to your smart phone, but in reality, we're glad that the only other buttons you're pressing are on your Blackberry, and not another woman. Andrea Lin, 23, Cherry Hill, New Jersey
No. 164: Getting us lost is not a turn-on. Get a GPS. Susan Muramoto, 20, Union City, California
No. 385: Not all women care about fashion, or other stereotypically "girly" things, but we all wish you would talk to us more. Not just about your feelings that gets old for everyone but about anything at all. Teresa Jusino, 30, New York
No. 308: We can appreciate a nice butt as much as you do, we're just better at being discreet about it. Carrie Gelzleichter, 28, Tempe, Arizona
No. 819: Never answer your phone or text in the middle of sex. Never. Carrie Gelzleichter, 28, Tempe, Arizona
No. 960: If you tell us we should give you a blowjob, we probably won't. Giving us a backrub is a far more eloquent way of asking. Carrie Gelzleichter, 28, Tempe, Arizona
No. 888: When it's clear that we've made an effort to do something for you, thank us. Even if you don't understand why, just do it. Jennifer Smith, 34, Atlanta
No. 510: Manscaping. A little goes a long way. Jennifer Smith, 34, Atlanta
No. 197: Being called "baby" or "doll" or "babydoll" is not a turn-on. Nikki Saint Bautista, 24, Brooklyn
No. 721: Overly shaped eyebrows are only attractive if you're a drag queen. Put the tweezers down and never pick them up again. Lupita Trigos, 24, Mexico City, Mexico
No. 939: There are few things that give us more pleasure than sinking into your Aqua di Gio-drenched sweatshirt. Lupita Trigos, 24, Mexico City, Mexico
No. 375: We notice how long it takes for you to answer a text message. We time it down to the last nanosecond. Then we analyze why it took you that long. We're like that. Luce Melendez, 22, New York
No. 414: Information not to disclose during a first date: that you love Grey's Anatomy, that you cried watching Terms of Endearment, and that your mom picks your clothes. Luce Melendez, 22, New York
No. 261: We don't mind when you ask us for our number in line at the grocery store in fact it allows us to conveniently analyze your food selection before responding. Ashlie Zussman, 25, Corona del Mar, California
No. 423: You know never to ask us out by texting, right? Right? Ashlie Zussman, 25, Corona del Mar, California
No. 601: We would rather you not give us flowers. They die. Michell Favin, 20, New York
No. 602: Giving birth isn't all that bad. Joanne Martinez, 23, Brooklyn
No. 487: If you seek out our eye contact in a crowded place and we smile back at you, take that as a sign to come talk to us. Sometimes eye contact can be sexier than anything else. Cara Possemato, 23, Brooklyn
No. 968: R-rated sex scenes are a turn-on. Porn not so much. Mary Joan Arreglado, 26, Tustin, California
No. 493: Make some noise in the sack, already. Or we'll stop doing the thing we don't realize you love. Mary Joan Arreglado, 26, Tustin, California
No. 219: Don't expect us to wait for you if you're not ready to commit. When you come back we might be married or have a kid. Tiffany Brown, 28, Brooklyn
No. 146: We need you to be our emotional support. Anneke Schut, 33, Amsterdam, Holland
No. 787: When choosing between giving us a pep talk or a good, long hug, seriously consider the hug. Jenny Harding, 30, Aliso Viejo, California
No. 741: In the morning, we would rather have coffee in bed than sex in the kitchen. From Marinella Georgino, 28, Costa Mesa, California
No. 630: Dirty text messages are encouraged. But two caveats: Don't make them NC-17 if we're at work we could get caught, and that would be awkward and don't send them at 9:05 A.M. when we've just walked through the door. A day full of sexual anticipation is way harder to bear than a few hours. Rachel Heaton, 22, Columbia, Missouri
No. 463: We too brag to our friends about random hook-ups and one-night-stands, complete with high-fives. Erin O'Neill, 24, Columbia, Missouri
No. 341: Don't ever call a woman "ma'am." Said woman will never sleep with you. Erin O'Neill, 24, Columbia, Missouri
No. 479: If we look tired, its because we are tired. No need to let us know. Maeden Anda, 29, Rancho Santa Margarita, California
No. 913: We expect you to wash your clothes after you wear them, not just when they smell. Maeden Anda, 29, Rancho Santa Margarita, California
No. 36: Women don't like doubtful men. Jenean Davis, 26, Brooklyn
No. 233: The right girl will never be content with being second best. Anne-Marie Kida, 22, Wood-Ridge, New Jersey
No. 649: Just man up and ask us out. If we bite your head off, we werent worth it. Wed probably at least grab a coffee with you. Jka Kremer, 21, Los Angeles
No. 691: Constantly making fun of a girl to her face doesnt make you funny or witty or sexy or whatever. It just makes you a douchebag. Alissa Stewart, 24, San Francisco
No. 739: Your enthusiasm for belching can be adorable sometimes. Don't push it. Eva Meszaros, 25, Brooklyn
woman laughing in grass
No. 834: No, we dont want to go back to your dorm room. Megan McDonnell, 30, Los Angeles
No. 920: You find a girl who truly loves watching or playing every sport as much as you do, there's a chance she also loves girls as much as you do. Just so you know. Carolyn Morgan, 33, Irvine, California
No. 831: If you didn't hear us, don't pretend you did. You never win this game. Carolyn Morgan, 33, Irvine, California
No. 352: We don't care where you are or who you're with. We just want to know you're alive. Send a text, a flare, or a pigeon. Don't make us worry. Carolyn Morgan, 33, Irvine, California
No. 126: When we are pregnant, "big" jokes of any kind are a bad idea. Even if we start the jokes, back away carefully. Carolyn Morgan, 33, Irvine, California
No. 178: We do appreciate you paying for the first meal on a first date. If you hit it out of the ball park, we will most likely pay for the next date. We might even cook. Maya Contreras, 34, Brooklyn
No. 282: We know that you read our long-winded (dramatic) text messages to your guy friends. We know that you only like messages that read: "Yes," "Maybe," "Naked," or, at the longest, "I'll meet you at the bar." Maya Contreras, 34, Brooklyn
No. 854: Never, ever, ever turn your woman down for sex. Even if you were already sleeping. Maya Contreras, 34, Brooklyn
No. 670: We are your rolling partner, your war buddy. We can be the best friend you've ever had but even better, because we will roll around naked with you. Just a reminder. Maya Contreras, 34, Brooklyn
No. 570: We understand that you might not be into ruffles or ballet flats or shoulder pads, but not all versions of beauty involve Tawny Kitaen straddling a sports car in a Whitesnake video. Maura E. McGill, 29, New York
No. 451: Little things like table manners matter to us because in the back of our minds, were always thinking "could I introduce this guy to my parents?" And if youre burping at the table with a face full of mayo, the answer is a resounding "no." Maura E. McGill, 29, New York
No. 481: Were not into sloppy drunkenness. It gives us PTSD from dating frat boys in college. Maura E. McGill, 29, New York
No. 707: We have lots of sexual fantasies. From being a dominatrix to being deflowered by a mechanic, the fantasies can run the gamut. Go with it. Maura E. McGill, 29, New York
No. 868: We do really care about what you're talking about, but sometimes we just need to not pay attention for a few minutes. Janice Tsai, 30, Sacramento
No. 952: We want to trust you, which is why we hire private detectives. Yahaira Ulloa, 28, Elmwood Park, New Jersey
No. 932: Thanks for telling us how cute we look when we're enraged, but it's really not the time. Lauren Cusimano, 24, Phoenix
No. 753: ZZ Top was right: Knowing how to rock a suit or dress uniform will noticeably increase your sexiness. We don't know why, but it works. Ditto with guitars. Unless, ironically, you look like ZZ Top. Rachel Giuliani, 27, Brooklyn
No. 844: We know your "guy time" with your friends is a healthy thing. But so is our girl time with our friends. Andrea Malquist, 20, Chicago
No. 578: Be honest. Chances are we're just waiting for you to speak up and go after what you want so we can say 'yes'. Rachel Henke, 21, Quincy, Illinois
No. 327: We might be your best friend, but we'll never be one of the guys. So no, we dont want to come smell that. Melissa VanDerLinden, 27, Springfield, Missouri
No. 207: Given the opportunity, we might still play with Barbies. And thoroughly enjoy it. Melissa VanDerLinden, 27, Springfield, Missouri
No. 294: We consider laundry sorting, washing, drying, and folding an art form. Please do not touch. Melissa VanDerLinden, 27, Springfield, Missouri
No. 64: We think it's sweet when you do the household chores we usually take care of, even if you screw it up. Sometimes especially when you screw it up. Jen Russell, 26, Mexico, Missouri
No. 395: We dont care about duvet covers either. And what is a dust ruffle? Joanna Borns, 25, Lafayette, Indiana
No. 437: Even the most ardent feminist likes to be swept off her feet with an unplanned spontaneous romantic gesture. Trust me. Jennifer Dewhirst Steshyn, 51, Lakeland, Florida
No. 336: If you have to ask, "Is my beard working?" Its not. Joanna Borns, 25, Lafayette, Indiana
No. 901: The Facebook relationship status section is frivolous, nosy, and unnecessary. But after four months of knocking boots, you'd better believe we're expecting to see an update. Ainsley Drew Nelson, 28, New York
No. 45: We like to eat. Not just salads and seeds and nuts, but meat and fattening junk food. There, that just needed to be said. Michele Pepio, 35, Staten Island, New York
No. 991: If we tell you that we like what you're doing in bed, keep doing exactly what you're doing and don't improvise. Michele Pepio, 35, Staten Island, New York
No. 796: We want to watch you play first-person shooter games about as much as you want to watch reruns of Sex and the City. Rachel Baron, 26, Chicago
No. 525: My best girlfriend? Just accept her and the fact that she'll always be there, and that we will always be ridiculous. Jennifer Davidick, 30 Hazleton, Pennsylvania
No. 362: Know what we're thinking. Even though we give you mixed signals. Even after ten years. Jennifer Davidick, 30 Hazleton, Pennsylvania
No. 805: A hug followed by eye contact followed by pushing our hair behind our ear followed by a soft kiss takes less than twenty seconds and says far more than a verbal apology. Meredith Blake Matthews, 26, Pittsburgh
No. 766: We said we'd go fishing with you. We never said we'd enjoy it. Meredith Blake Matthews, 26, Pittsburgh
No. 979: Deep down, we're well aware that we're bad drivers. Just let us live the dream and agree that we totally had the right of way in that pedestrian zone back there. Meredith Blake Matthews, 26, Pittsburgh
No. 248: All women have a whole drawer of panties they hope no one will ever find out about. Even that sexy little thing who walked by you this morning on your way to get coffee has unmentionable panties lurking in her bedroom. Danielle Scotti, 23, Pittsburgh
girl in grass
No. 273: Imagine the worst charley horse you've ever had, and place it somewhere between your bellybutton and your asshole. That's what we mean by "cramps." Be sympathetic. Stephanie Weir, 29, St. Louis
No. 621: We know when our male friends have a crush on us. We just pretend we don't so that you'll fix things and take us places without us having to sleep with you. And we're sorry. Stephanie Weir, 29, St. Louis
No. 879: If we tell you we're married, that's your cue to talk to our friend who is not wearing a wedding ring. Is that at all unclear? Lindsay Coluccio, 33, Newport Beach, California
No. 954: You're a brave one to suggest that we're in any way like our mothers. Did you forget that we can't stand our mothers? Kirsten Hall, 35, New York
No. 589: Okay. We're becoming our mothers. It's a reality we surrender to with a little less of a fight every stinking day. No, we're not happy about it. Frankly, it sucks. But it's part of the evolutionary process. So if you hate our mothers, run. Run fast and hard and don't leave a forwarding address. Kirsten Hall, 35, New York, NY
No. 253: Make mental notes of what we like: dark chocolate, Sinatra, old books, the White Sox, specifically Jim Thome, Tom Petty, you in sweaters. Rhiannon Falzone, 26, Chicago
No. 309: Women's magazines have very few words and lots of pictures. That's why we read Esquire. Davian den Otter, 32, Ottawa Ontario Canada
No. 435: We don't really care which side of the street you walk on when we're together. Most of us don't even know which side of the street you're supposed to walk on. But please make sure we don't have to walk on grates in the sidewalk especially if we're in heels. Meryl Rothstein, 26, New York
No. 267: The nice lingerie isn't always for you. Often, it's for us. Barbara Govednik, 46, Chicago
No. 871: If you're going on a trip, leave us the Oxford you wore yesterday. Ask us to wear it and think of you. Will we do that wearing your shirt? Perhaps we will. Stephanie Shaughnessy, 41, Pittsburgh
No. 839: Nothing ruins a good date for a girl like using a bathroom that smells like a urinal. Beth Gadbois, 44, Stowe, Vermont
No. 154: Think long and hard before you forward that funny, funny e-mail. Hannah Friedman, 29, Baltimore
No. 950: We can tell when you're not listening. Hey! You! Yanira Rosario, 21, Carolina, PR
No. 777: We like to share appetizers. Suggest one. Marianne Towersey, 59, Pebble Beach, California
No. 715: Trimming, shaving, or waxing body hair makes you less like a man and more like, well, us. Lindsay Coluccio, 33, Newport Beach, California
No. 369: We need to have the better hair in the relationship. If it's a tie, you must put the product down and forfeit. Kt McBratney, 27, Omaha
No. 428: If you try to use any tips you learned on The Pick-Up Artist, you will be called out for it. Joanna Borns, 25, Lafayette, Indiana
No. 747: We like to win. Let us win every once in a while. Or, how about let us tie? That at least takes more thought and we're okay with being your equal. Danielle Scotti, 23, Pittsburgh
No. 593: We will never turn down fresh flowers. Jennifer Davidick, 30 Hazleton, Pennsylvania
No. 676: Just pick up the tampons. Do you really think the cashier is going to think they're for you? Jennifer Davidick, 30 Hazleton, Pennsylvania
No. 553: We tend to live by the do-as-we-say rule, not the do-as-we-do rule. So sue us. Michele Pepio, 35, Staten Island, New York
No. 532: We were checking her out, too. Ainsley Drew Nelson, 28, New York
No. 288: If you text us and we call immediately after, please answer the phone. We know you have it right there. Luce Melendez, 22, New York
No. 734: All women are secretly made of solid gold. Joanna Borns, 25, Lafayette, Indiana
No. 862: If you're a bad kisser, we assume you're bad in bed. If you haven't had much practice, use your hand, or a melon. Do something, because it's a deal breaker. Maya Contreras, 34, Brooklyn
No. 895: We just really, really like frozen yogurt, okay? Have you even tried it? Joanna Borns, 25, Lafayette, Indiana
No. 811: If the words, "you have too many shoes," ever come out of your mouth, be prepared to hear about all of the inane crap of yours we want to get rid of. Maura E. McGill, 29, New York
No. 499: Flowers and chocolate are overrated. One doesn't last and one makes us feel fat. Courtney Harper, 23, Sherman Oaks, California
No. 26: The less you pack for a vacation, the more we will fill your suitcase up with shoes. Rachel Baron, 26, Chicago
No. 121: We're intimidated by you when you travel in loud packs. We think you're creepy when you're out alone. We don't trust you when you're out with a female "friend." Your odds are best when you're in a group of three or four. Or with us. Kirsten Hall, 35, New York
No. 456: For the record, we've never met another woman who thought a crotchless teddy was anything but trashy. Same goes for those nighties with the nipples cut out. Wesleann Polkowske, 29, Austin
No. 873: More spooning. Rhiannon Falzone, 25, Chicago
No. 397: Sorry to be picky, but most of us hate carnations. Whitney Webb, 22, Blacksburg, Virginia
No. 587: Suggesting breakfast out in the morning is sometimes just a nice way to get you out. We have lives to lead. Davian den Otter, 32, Ottawa Ontario Canada
No. 931: No matter how angry we are at you, how much we curse all men, when it comes down to it, you are what make our hearts smile. Abby Moulton, 30, Farmington Hills, Michigan
No. 579: Never underestimate the power of your hands. Kimani Rabess, 29, Brooklyn
No. 142: Big, white, clean teeth. Babette Dickerson, 50, Shaker Heights, Ohio
No. 654: Our girlfriends have seen that picture we swore to you we deleted. This is just the way it works. It's best that you don't even bring it up. Wesleann Polkowske, 29, Austin
No. 334: As little girls, we believe that you are gods. As young women, we learn that you are not. As older women, we try to put you back up there. Babette Dickerson, 50, Shaker Heights, Ohio
No. 247: We don't think you're sensitive because Serendipity is your favorite movie. It just makes us think you have bad taste. Molly Finkelstein, 23, Brooklyn
No. 836: We are much less concerned about what you're going to wear than you think we are. Alix Stoll, 52, Levittown, New York
No. 224: Call us on our shit. We need it. We shall call you on your shit. You need it. Rhiannon Falzone, 26, Chicago
No. 818: We judge you based on how you treat us when we're sick. Penelope Ruth, 24, Ann Arbor, Michigan
No. 228: The most chivalrous thing a man can do is listen when we talk. We don't want to be asked the same question three times in one night. Kerri Theodore, 28, Tampa, Florida
No. 150: There should be a law that tattoos on one shoulder are only for women. Jennifer Musarra, 40, Bayside, New York
two friends in grass
No. 703: We don't need you to change our tires or open jars. But we really love it when you fix our computers. Electronics repair is the twenty-first century version of chivalry. Meryl Rothstein, 26, New York
No. 956: Subtle gestures like walking behind us through a crowded room and walking in front of us down the stairs make us feel loved. Abby Moulton, 30, Farmington Hills, Michigan
No. 520: Courting should involve an equal ratio of phone calls to text messages, neither of which should occur past midnight. Maura Kutner, 26, New York
No. 283: Meeting your friends for the first time is awkward enough, so we'd appreciate it if you didn't get drunk. Rhiannon Falzone, 25, Chicago
No. 69: When you play with my hair, you're actually making love to me. Did you know that? Babette Dickerson, 50, Shaker Heights, Ohio
No. 683: There's nothing better than breakfast in bed. It's amazing what the offering of scrambled eggs and toast will do for your sex life. Trust us. Maura Kutner, 26, New York
No. 981: If we offer to make you dinner and the recipe calls for a food processor, immersion blender, or other obscure kitchen appliance, it means we like you. Tell us the meal is delicious, and you're in. Marianne Frapwell, 25, Lawrenceville, Georgia
No. 695: If we like you enough, it doesn't matter if you're unemployed. Molly Finkelstein, 23, Brooklyn
No. 608: Just let us cry. And don't act all freaked out by it either. We always feel better after a good cry. Kimani Rabess, 29, Brooklyn
No. 319: We will always wait for you to tell us you love us first. Kate Goldwater, 26, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
No. 736: Men with dogs? Yes. Men with cats? Not so much. Deanna O'Connell, 35, Chicago
No. 632: We sweat just as much as you do. But we make sure we keep our deodorant and perfume handy. You should do the same. Sheila Marie, 25, Pensacola, Florida
No. 971: Educated, smart women want to hear how beautiful they are, and beautiful women want to hear how smart they are. Never compliment a smart woman for being smart she already knows. Karima Abdel-Moty, 23, Miami
No. 381: We love it when we can still make you blush. Nancy Sanchez, 29, Los Angeles
No. 30: Tony Stark is not a real person. Stop talking about how cool he is. Kate Goldwater, 26, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
No. 98: Everything from the funny joke you told to the way you dug food out of your back molar gets discussed over coffee with our friends. Melissa Reyes, 21, Los Angeles
No. 429: Kiss us lightly on the cheek. We love that. Julie Rosenthal, 20, Fond du Lac, Wisconsin
No. 507: Hold our hands when we're alone, hold our hands in front of our girlfriends just hold our hands. Leigh Hedgepeth, 23, Norfolk, VA
No. 886: Guys who do a lot of yoga kind of creep us out. You really don't have to be that bendy. Brenna Ehrlich, 26, Brooklyn
No. 157: Wearing a "This is what a feminist looks like" T-shirt may help you get girls, but only if you don't look like a sleazy douche who's only wearing it to get girls. Molly Finkelstein, 23, Brooklyn
No. 568: No matter how long we've been dating, calling to check on us to make sure we got home safely is never not a good idea. Deanna O'Connell, 35, Chicago
No. 173:
You cannot imagine the amount of stuff we have to do to look this good. It's like a second job. It's much more than waxing and manicures. It's really weird stuff that would completely freak you out. Don't try to understand it. Just appreciate our effort.
Kimani Rabess, 29, Brooklyn
No. 354:
Bikini waxing actually isn't as painful as we let on.
Jamie Rogers, 28, Sutton, Vermont
No. 27:
We're not cleaning your apartment because we love you, we're cleaning your apartment because we can't stand the mess for one more minute.
Rachael Candee 24, Bloomington, Indiana
No. 761:
It's not the age difference that matters, it's the maturity level.
Angela Williamson, 37, Sartell, Minnesota
No. 573:
We like cards with our gifts, thank you.
Angela Williamson, 37, Sartell, Minnesota
No. 724:
For a great date, take us down memory lane. Revisit the first park we went together. The first restaurant. Rent our first movie. We dig it.
Taylor Rausch, 23, Columbia, Missouri
No. 194:
Wear 100 percent cashmere sweaters. We can't help but touch you.
Beth Gadbois, 44, Stowe, Vermont
No. 539:
Have a posh English accent, if at all possible.
Cynthia Robledo, 57, Mayagüez, Puerto Rico
No. 728:
We don't respond to "dude." Whitney Tressel, 23, New York
No. 242:
Dressing nicely doesn't make you look gay, it makes you look like you're no longer in college.
Hannah Friedman, 29, Baltimore
No. 478: If it is raining on our date, don't rush to the car. Stop her and kiss us, simply because we love kissing in the rain. Julie Smith, 23, Rochester, Illinois
No. 856: We are never begging for attention. It just comes with the outfit. Sheila Marie, 25, Pensacola, Florida
No. 714: Even the most cynical, Valentine-hating girl would secretly love to have flowers sent to her at work. Lindsey Simpson, 23, San Diego
No. 136: Great dads are hot. Beth Gadbois, 44, Stowe, Vermont
No. 702: Sometimes we pretend that we don't know how to do something, just because you look so cute trying to figure it out. Rachael Candee 24, Bloomington, Indiana
No. 655: We're very often willing to trade a blowjob for a foot massage. Erin Elizabeth Winter, 26, Yellow Springs, Ohio
No. 829: We all have an evil twin. Get to know her. Carrie Dienhart, 34, Kansas City, Missouri
No. 278: We do dress for other women; what is under the dress is for you. Erica Anderson, 30, St. Louis
No. 758: What's with the spitting? No. No spitting. Especially no making that hawking sound before you spit. Hannah Friedman, 29, Baltimore
No. 114: Escorting us into a room with your hand at the small of our back makes us smile. Abbey Laine Impson, 36, Atlanta
No. 421: Sometimes, when we're not sure about you, we look at your shoes to decide whether or not to sleep with you. Just good to keep in mind. Sarah June Renschler, 30, New York
No. 746: You know that body hair you're self-conscious about? We love it. It's the hairless ones that should worry. Leanne Young, 23, Phoenix
woman with hat
No. 911: Body hair removal really is for ourselves. Do you have any idea how lovely it feels to slip into clean cotton sheets with smooth, freshly shaved legs? No, you probably don't. Erin Elizabeth Winter, 26, Yellow Springs, Ohio
No. 551: Every single grooming habit we have, we truly hate. No one likes having to regularly shave, straighten their hair daily, or keep up with painted nails. But we do it, because we know it makes you feel good to have a good-looking woman with you. Shannon Beckett, 20, Cincinnati
No. 281: If you want to get us in the shower with you, more important than even having a super-clean shower is having clean towels. Do your laundry. We like adults. Shannon Beckett , 20, Cincinnati
No. 128: The magazines in your bathroom say a lot about you. So please, hide the one with "100 Way to Please Your Woman" on the cover. Bridget Kwok, 22, San Francisco
No. 785: We don't like it when you jump in to solve our problems unasked. Wait to be asked for help. We will ask. Teresa Jusino, 30, New York
No. 44: We pay very, very close attention to the way you treat your mother. Jennifer Smith, 34, Atlanta
No. 203: Tossing your wet towel on our side of the bed so that it sits there moldering all day is an instant libido killer the minute we hit the sheets. Goodnight. Ashlie Zussman, 25, Corona del Mar, California
No. 363: We are taught to treat you like Columbus when it comes to sex: Celebrate your efforts and never mention the others who were there before you. Shannon Lawson, 26, Denver
No. 603: We never forget. It's just not in our DNA to let things slide. Leticia Frazao, 25, New York
No. 987: We treat our dog like a child because we legitimately consider our dog to be our child. Meredith Blake Matthews, 26, Pittsburgh
No. 177: Just because we're asleep doesn't mean we don't know what you're doing. We always know what you're doing. Bridget Kwok, 22, San Francisco
No. 508: Sometimes, when we miss you a lot, we Google you just to see your name in print, and photos of you from high school. Andrea Lin, 23, Cherry Hill, New Jersey
No. 845: You can lead a horse to water but if you want to produce anything, do it her way. Sharon Morrison, 61, Montreal, Quebec, Canada
No. 990: There is pretty much no pick up line that will work. Ever. Maura E. McGill, 29, New York
No. 116: Next time you're driving us somewhere, ask yourself whether you'd rather impress us or the Patron Saint of Lunatic Machismo Driving. Hannah Friedman, 29, Baltimore
No. 774: No man should know what the inside of a tanning bed looks like. Shannon Beckett , 20, Cincinnati
No. 195: No matter how many times we ask, you should never admit that our friend is prettier than us. Susan Muramoto, 20, Union City, California
No. 941: We like hand-holding and kisses on the cheek. We also like to be "manhandled." It's a fine line, really. Leanne Young, 23, Phoenix
No. 618: Women like men who are confident enough in themselves to let the women they're with be brilliant. Teresa Jusino, 30, New York
No. 80: You might be embarrassed by the sappy comments we leave on your Facebook page, but that's how we mark our territory. Carrie Gelzleichter, 28, Tempe, Arizona
No. 974: We don't like to go to the movies to make out. Stephanie Hunt, 19, Clarion, Pennsylvania
No. 961: Sometimes we play the "you weren't listening" card when we know very well we just never told you. Shannon Lawson, 26, Denver
No. 769: Women need details. We know you don't like to give them, but we want them anyway. Without details, our brains go off on tangents. We tend to over-think, and if you don't fill in the blanks, we'll fill them in ourselves. Teresa Jusino, 30, New York
No. 701: You know that morning trumpet solo you perform in the bathroom every morning that you're so proud of? Yeah, we can hear that. Jennifer Smith, 34, Atlanta
No. 143: Holding hands is your go-to move. If you're shy about making a move, if we're scared, if we're fightingit's like your non-sexual get-out-of-jail-free card. Kt McBratney, 27, Omaha
No. 152: If you don't touch us in public, the relationship is going nowherefast. Leticia Frazao, 25, New York
No. 334: We don't expect us to agree on everything. We actually want you to have an opinion. Lupita Trigos, 24, Mexico City
No. 503: From time to time one of us will confess that we believe Sandra Bullock is sultry. That doesn't automatically denote that we're lesbian. Except it might. Alix Stoll, 52, Levittown, New York
No. 448: We don't enjoy hearing you make derogatory comments about the "stuff" we leave on the passenger seat in our cars. And incidentally, we prefer to take your car when we go out together. Marianne Towersey, 59, Pebble Beach, California
No. 216: The moment you invite us to meet your mom is the moment we begin planning our wedding. Lindsay Coluccio, 33, Newport Beach, California
No. 132: If I'm upset and I refuse to tell you why, it probably means I already realize my reasoning is stupid and I just need to let the hormones wear off. But if you keep yelling at me, I'll have a reason to be mad, so just feel lucky and leave me alone. Carrie Gelzleichter, 28, Tempe, Arizona
No. 171: Some of us some of us prefer movies with explosions or bad jokes. Kt McBratney, 27, Omaha
No. 287: We will always wonder about what happened to the one that got away. Jennifer Smith, 34, Atlanta
No. 214: You'll get automatic bonus points for everything you remember about us: our birthday, eye color, favorite restaurant... as long as you don't get carried away. Then all you'll get is an automatic restraining order. Kt McBratney, 27, Omaha
No. 750: If we tell you we need to go on a diet, we want you to tell us we look good the way we are. If we really thought we needed to lose weight, we would just do it without telling you. Carrie Gelzleichter, 28, Tempe, Arizona
No. 995: At any given time at every corporation in America, one of us is crying in a bathroom or cubicle over something stupid. Stephanie Weir, 29, St. Louis
No. 522: We keep things from past boyfriends, and if our relationship goes sour, we absolutely will sit with our girlfriends laughing through your old love letters. Danielle Scotti, 23, Pittsburgh
No. 967: Yes, we'll have another glass of wine, thank you. Meredith Blake Matthews, 26, Pittsburgh
No. 894: The Empire Strikes Back is not our favorite Star Wars movie. Shut up Ewoks are cute. Rachel Baron, 26, Chicago
No. 948: When adding spice to food, consider the tolerance of all of those consuming it, please. Carolyn Morgan, 33, Irvine, Calif
woman with flowers
No. 104: The girl who had a crush on you in the third grade probably still thinks about you once a week. Okay, twice. Jennifer Smith, 34, Atlanta
No. 145: We sometimes pretend to forget things to make forgetting things a little less painless but really, we remember everything. Just play along.
Jennifer Katanyoutanant, 21, Irvine, California
No. 509: Don't ask why we're afraid of insects. Just kill the damn bug, already. Maura E. McGill, 29, New York
No. 405: We as women send out greeting cards because we think it's fun and a way to connect and not just a waste of paper. Okay? Courtney Harper, 23, Sherman Oaks, California
No. 611: Sure, we can do it ourselves, but we love it when you help us change a flat tire. Nicole French, 37, Denver, Colorado
No. 65: If you feel it's appropriate to ask us if we're aesthetically enhanced at all, plan on bringing a copy of last year's tax return. Ashlie Zussman, 25, Corona del Mar, California
No. 139: We love it when you get specific. Saying you love a specific quirk or body part sounds a lot better than "you're pretty." Khassaundra Delgado 22, Riverside, California
No. 115: We love hearing about what you were like as a little boy. Can't get enough. Jennifer Smith, 34, Atlanta
No. 393: We need you to be meticulous in your grooming so your beard and neck aren't creating a follicular Pangea. Otherwise, don't be upset when I plant dinosaur toys in your beard when you sleep. Jennifer Trinh, 24, Irvine, Calif.
No. 147: Nicknames. We really love nicknames. Alix Stoll, 52, Levittown, New York
No. 615: You can't brush your teeth too often. Barbara Govednik, 46, Chicago
No. 619: When you send us an e-mail of any substance, we forward it to at least four of our friends for explanation. Caroline Celano, 28, Cambridge, Massachusetts
No. 153: Our excitement over the fact that you drive a Ferrari is reduced by exactly 50 percent if you live with a roommate. Lindsay Coluccio, 33, Newport Beach, California
No. 500: We want to break the glass ceiling, but we have no problem continuing to break your bank account. It's kind of funny, isn't it? Maura E. McGill, 29, New York
No. 526: We are pretty when we are pregnant. Always. Never deviate from this sentiment. Carolyn Morgan, 33, Irvine, California
No. 584: The only thing we really want to hear about our ex-boyfriends is that they are doing something boring very far away. That is all we want to know about your ex-girlfriends, too. Erin O'Neill, 24, Columbia, Missouri
No. 90: If I have more than three stories to tell my girlfriends that end with you crying, something's wrong with you, buddy. Luce Melendez, 22, New York
No. 122: We are more likely to go down on you in the winter just because we don't want to shave our legs. Shannon Lawson, 26, Denver
No. 102: No short-sleeved button-downs. Don't ask why, just trust us. Leticia Frazao, 25, New York
No. 112: We secretly wonder whether or not you will be a help or a hindrance when the zombie uprising happens, because it's totally going to happen. Jennifer Smith, 34, Atlanta
No. 86: By the fifth time you thank me for "being cool about it," I'm not going to be cool about it. Luce Melendez, 22, New York
No. 93: We know you love our high heels as much as we do. Lupita Trigos, 24, Mexico City, Mexico
No. 882: The reason the Barefoot Contessa makes her husband four-layer chocolate cakes is because they live in East Hampton, she is a saint, and they only see each other on the weekend. You are not going to get that on a random Tuesday while watching 300 on Blu-ray for the fourth time. Just not gonna happen. Order take-out. Erica Anderson, 30, St. Louis
No. 119: We complain about you not listening but really have only heard two out of three of the last things you've said. Shannon Lawson, 26, Denver
No. 71: We look at gift receipts, which include the date and time of purchase, as a wonderful way to find out how far in advance you planned. Ashlie Zussman, 25, Corona del Mar, California
No. 123: It's not that girls don't like nice guys, it's that we can distinguish between genuinely nice and desperate. Carrie Gelzleichter, 28, Tempe, Arizona
No. 49: Sometimes we just want a goddamn hug. Taylor Starr, 19, Scottsdale, Arizona
No. 53: Sometimes the tacky stuffed animal you won for us at the carnival is better than the gold earrings. Hardly ever, but sometimes. Mary Joan Arreglado, 26, Tustin, California
No. 57: Phone calls are hard to come by these days. Surprise us with a call sometime, instead of a text. We love hearing your voice. Cara Possemato, 23, Brooklyn
No. 62: Sending flowers to our office when we're mad about something we can't share with colleagues is like a little reminder every time someone stops to ask about the flowers. Give us a grace period to cool off first, then send away. Ashlie Zussman, 25, Corona del Mar, California
No. 130: Never start any sentence with "my last girlfriend really liked it when I..." Carrie Gelzleichter, 28, Tempe, Arizona
No. 131: With all due respect to Jane Krakowski there are plenty of women who have not only seen Battlestar Galactica but will be willing to throw down and debate the merits of the series finale with you. Teresa Jusino, 30, New York
No. 240: Don't try to figure out what will make us happy. We have been trying to get to the bottom of that mystery since the beginning of time and we have no clue either. Michele Pepio, 35, Staten Island, New York
No. 244: We like it when your phone does what it's good for getting us the reservation and enabling you to order flowers but if you play that fucking "Plants vs. Zombies" game while we're talking to you one more time, you're sleeping alone. Ainsley Drew Nelson, 28, New York
No. 133: We like it when you trust us with your car. Susan Muramoto, 20, Union City, California
No. 96: Just in case you were wondering, no, there is no such thing as owning too many purses or too many pairs of shoes. It's impossible. Lupita Trigos, 24, Mexico City, Mexico
No. 227: Some of us may truly enjoy sports we're not all lying. But not one of us wants to sit around and watch all nine-plus innings of a baseball game or the entire first half-hour of Sports Center. Not one. Meredith Blake Matthews, 26, Pittsburgh
No. 181: Stalking only works if you're John Cusack, circa 1985 to 1997. Stephanie Weir, 29, St. Louis
No. 904: Completely unsexy? Jingling the change in your pockets. Stephanie Shaughnessy, 41, Pittsburgh
No. 919: Having some female singers on your iPod counts for more than you can imagine. Jessica Wakeman, 26, Bayonne, New Jersey
No. 229: Manpris capri pants for men will never, ever be sexy. Rachel Baron, 26, Chicago
No. 449: We would really appreciate it if you kept the "love marks" in the bikini zone. Lauren Cusimano, 24, Phoenix
No. 457: Not everything is a joke. Although your sense of humor is what attracted me to you to begin with, there are times when "That's what she said" is not an appropriate response. Stacey Whiteley, 40, Albany, NY
No. 291: We're scared of your mother. It's just the way it is, the way it has been, and the way it shall ever be. Melissa VanDerLinden, 27, Springfield, Missouri
No. 350: Beards are hot until there's food or dreads in them. Rachel Henke, 21, Quincy, Illinois
woman short hair
No. 936: Your girlfriend does not ever in a million years want to be proposed to at a sporting event. She would rather die an old maid. Jennifer Smith, 34, Atlanta
No. 373: Look down, if we're wearing heels it's so our legs can look good. We feel sexy as hell in 'em but it usually isn't all that comfortable so slow the hell down when you're walking beside us. Thank you. Haiyen Chin, 33, Brooklyn
No. 538: We'll watch the last inning, period, or quarter. That's it. Carolyn Morgan, 33, Irvine, California
No. 543: If we don't ask your name, it wasn't an accident. Sometimes less is more. Megan McDonnell, 30, Los Angeles
No. 234: Ponytails are only okay if you're Native American or a cocktail waitress named Jenna. Rachel Baron, 26, Chicago
No. 174: Pretty girls who used to be teased for their looks are a thousand times cooler and smarter than a gorgeous girl who has always been called pretty. Those are the ones who turn into Joan Rivers without the jokes. Stephanie Weir, 29, St. Louis
No. 544: If you find a stuffed animal in a woman's room, do not mock it. We will take irrevocable offense. Eva Meszaros, 25, Brooklyn
No. 560: The way to a woman's heart is through her stomach. Do you bake chocolate-chip cookies from scratch? Erin O'Neill, 24, Columbia, MO
No. 416: We love it when you're good at something you enjoy. We don't care what it is sports, fishing; hell, even cross-stitching or tap dancing. We just like to be proud of you. Rachel Giuliani, 27, Brooklyn
No. 163: We're glad when you're not on Facebook. Lindsay Coluccio, 33, Newport Beach, California
No. 299: We never forget our first love, which is why we love Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Melissa VanDerLinden, 27, Springfield, Missouri
No. 682: We think of code names for men so we can talk about them in public. Stephanie Hunt, 19, Clarion, Pennsylvania
No. 432: If you think it's a test, it's probably a test. Elizabeth Oporto, 26, Merrick, NY
No. 298: We don't understand why your handwriting hasn't advanced past third grade. And yet, we're so put off by men with girly writing that we don't know which we prefer. Melissa VanDerLinden, 27, Springfield, Missouri
No. 441: Don't clean up after shaving just once. It's cute. Lauren Cusimano, 24, Phoenix
No. 246: Don't admit to owning an Ani DiFranco album, unless you got it in college to help you get girls. Ainsley Drew Nelson, 28, New York
No. 631: Men, as a rule, should not wear necklaces. Antonia Blocker, 25, Los Angeles
No. 262: We really like wearing your sweatshirts. It's not so much about the physical bond. They're just really comfortable. Rachel Catlett, 21, St. Charles, Missouri
No. 674: Don't tell us that our Halloween costume doesn't look like whatever it's "supposed" to be. It's "supposed" to be an excuse to wear lingerie as outerwear. You're welcome. Jessica Goldstein, 21, Philadelphia
No. 269: We think you look sexiest when you don't realize we're watching you. Jen Russell, 26, Mexico, MO
No. 641: Please notice and comment on our choice of fragrance. It's reassuring, and we paid a lot for that teeny bottle of Chanel. Hanady Kader, 23, Seattle
No. 425: If you want to break the ice, talk to a woman about how stupid beer commercials are, even if you love them. We hate them. Rachel Giuliani, 27, Brooklyn
No. 653: Saying "I love you" in a voice reminiscent of an animated baby does not count. Brenna Ehrlich, 25, Brooklyn
No. 921: When breaking up with a woman, just do it. Gently but firmly say that you're no longer interested. Yes, it will hurt. Break-ups always hurt. Teresa Jusino, 30, New York
No. 928: If you tell a woman that you recently saw the film Mutiny on the Bounty, there's no need to immediately follow that up with "The Bounty is a famous ship." Women don't need you to explain things preemptively. Give us a chance. Teresa Jusino, 30, New York
No. 657: We know the lotion on your nightstand is not for your hands. We are choosing to overlook this. Nina Fortuna, 25, New York
No. 666: We think of dinner as an obstacle in the way of dessert. We don't like that you don't like dessert. Katie Sanders, 20, Newton, Massachusetts
No. 556: We don't subscribe to the notion that foreplay should only come before sex. Just because you're done doesn't mean it's over. Lauren Kleiman, 32, Irvine, California
No. 646: We pretend to like your taste in music, then we forget that we were pretending and end up actually liking your music. Melissa Reyes, 22, Los Angeles
No. 686: We don't wash our hair every day because it's a hassle to straighten and if it's greasy it can easily be fixed with baby powder. Stephanie Hunt, 19, Clarion, Pennsylvania
No. 466: As women get older, our libido increases. Please take advantage of this. Please. Stacey Whiteley, 40, Albany, NY
No. 275: Clean your bathroom. Heather Brecht, 22, San Diego
No. 186: If your girlfriend has a token "single party friend," that friend hates you even before she meets you. Danielle Scotti, 23, Pittsburgh
woman with cup
No. 688: We may not always say it, but we actually do notice and appreciate all the little things you do for us and we'd notice if you stopped. Andrea Malquist, 20, Chicago
No. 874: In the beginning, "I love you" is important to say. Later on, the phrase you'll want to master is, "You were right." Judith Brodnicki, 50, Omaha
No. 169: Pregnancy and PMS are just too difficult to verbalize. Sarina Appel, 32, New York
No. 473: We have no problem dating older men. But when your teeth wake up next to us, it becomes a three-way we want no part in. Yahaira Ulloa, 28, Elmwood Park, New Jersey
No. 599: We've searched Facebook for every ex we've ever had at least thrice. We don't care about them anymore. But we need to know who they wound up with. Kirsten Hall, 35, New York
No. 583: We all move Jane Austen dramas. Some of us are just more open about it than others. Erin O'Neill, 24, Columbia, Missouri
No. 569: Sometimes a cuddle just means a cuddle. Jennifer Wilkins, 37, London, England
No. 387: If you're in Vegas and you call us to say you aren't at a strip club, we'll believe you. If we call you ten minutes later to really make sure you aren't at a strip club and you aren't, we'll love you forever. And we're sorry for being crazy, but not really. Jennifer Trinh, 24, Irvine, California
No. 903: Never ever let us see you tip less than 20 percent. Leanne Young, 23, Phoenix
No. 604: If we offer you gum, it means we want to kiss you later. It's not an insult; just take the gum. Rhiannon Falzone, 26, Chicago
No. 878: Our fantasy is better than yours. No really, it is. We are just too lady-like to say. Erica Anderson, 30, St. Louis
No. 681: Saying that you're "babysitting" your own children while your wife is out pisses us off. They are your children. Not your neighbor's kids. It's called parenting. Jennifer Dewhirst Steshyn, 51, Lakeland, Florida
No. 594: It is not your duty to e-mail us two years after we broke up to tell us you're engaged, especially if we aren't speaking. You may as well punch us in the stomach. Rachel Heaton, 22, Columbia, Missouri
No. 891: Flat front. Stephanie Shaughnessy, 41, Pittsburgh
No. 82osting a photo you took of yourself in your bathroom mirror on your online-dating profile is an excellent way to get us to, you know, not respond. Serene Smith, 35, Irvine, California
No. 625: Seeing you in a suit never fails to impress us. Mary Block, 26, Miami
No. 495: We think every time you watch porn without us a unicorn dies. Which is why they're extinct. Yahaira Ulloa, 28, Elmwood Park, New Jersey
No. 167: We don't mind carrying something of yours in our purses once in a while. You want to lug a bunch of shit around all the time? Get your own damn purse. Kt McBratney, 27, Omaha
No. 189: Facebook is every man's enemy. We will pretend we don't mind you talking to other girls on Facebook but believe me, we are monitoring every wall post, status update, and newly tagged photos. Hey, it's on the Internet. Danielle Scotti, 23, Pittsburgh
No. 575: We can't understand how when you come home from the grocery store, we still have no food. Maeden Anda, 29, Rancho Santa Margarita, California
No. 898: You know that body hair you're self conscious about? We love it. It's the hairless ones that should worry. Leanne Young, 23, Phoenix
No. 624: We don't even know what fantasy football is. Rachel Kibbe, 28, Cleveland
No. 6: You don't need to be handy. If you can't put up a ceiling fan in under four hours, man up and hire someone else to do the job. We'd much rather meet you at a bar than watch you curse a box or kick a screw across the floor. Kirsten Hall, 35, New York
No. 232: We don't want a man more polished than us. Slightly wrinkled and smelling a bit of sweat and a bar of soap? Fantastic. Christine Siltanen, 28, Portland, Oregon
No. 438: When we walk into your place and can immediately tell that a guy lives there, that can be either good or very bad. Luce Melendez, 22, New York
No. 34: Kisses are given, taken, and enjoyed, but never asked for. Lupita Trigos, 24, Mexico City
No. 541: We think guys who actually want to watch Sex and the City are kind of weird. Rachel Baron, 26, Chicago
No. 183: You know that rule that says it's okay for men to fart in front of women? It doesn't exist. Michele Pepio, 35, Staten Island
No. 652: If you are trying to imply that we're a catch, a compliment works better than asking, "Why are you still single?" Fuck if we know. Megan McDonnell, 30, Los Angeles
No. 420: There is a difference between putting on cologne and bathing. Shannon Ingram, 58, Mission Viejo, California
No. 600: If you take us to a sports bar and sit facing the screen, we're gonna get bored and flirt with the bartender. Ashlie Zussman, 25, Corona del Mar, California
No. 359: A tank top on a man seems designed solely to show off his hairy armpits, so we'd prefer if you left them to us. Serene Smith, 35, Irvine, California
No. 588: We don't care all that much if you leave wet towels on the floor, but it's in our blood to ask you not to. Sue Robinson, 41, Kittery, Maine
No. 784: Nobody doesn't like a woman in heels. Except men under 5'7." Ainsley Drew Nelson, 28, New York
No. 374: We don't all like chick flicks. Jade Ahanin, 17, New York
No. 118: If we're going on about how much we can't stand our family or friends, you won't do yourself any favors by chiming in. Bernadette Lee, 18, New York
No. 243: If a gorgeous, statuesque woman walks by and you comment on how attractive she is, don't follow that with, "but she's not as pretty as you." Come on, now. Lauren Carothers, 24, New York
No. 718: We notice your socks, and there's just something about a hot pattern once in a while. It's a little surprise. Dina Schuman, 21, New York
No. 161: We don't want to change outfits again any more than you want to wait for us to change outfits again, so tell us we look fabulous and let's go. Charlotte Peach, 24, London
No. 33: That blonde with the nice ass and perky tits? We saw her five seconds before you did, and it's not you she's checking out. It's us. Lauren Kleiman, 32, Irvine, California
No. 84: We think you look best in sweats. Michell Favin, 20, New York
No. 426: Women can be "over it" after a conflict, but we like to be checked on. That shows a deeper understanding of the female emotion, which is sometimes complicated. As you may have noticed. Jodie Love, 25, Brooklyn
two female friends
No. 757: It is not required that you be the center of attention, bless your heart. Aliza Brinn, 21, New York
No. 192: We love tools. Tools are hot. Learn how to use more tools. Haiyen Chin, 33, Brooklyn
No. 55: If things aren't working out downtown, concede and just move it back uptown. No need to drag it out. Cara Possemato, 23, Brooklyn
No. 764: Constant reassurance. Constant reassurance. Constant reassurance. Crystal D. Gonzalez, 22, Trujillo Alto, Puerto Rico
No. 860: Knowing how much you don't know: that's okay. Attractive, even. Pretending you understand is the problem. Jen Montminy, 24, Centre Hall, Pennsylvania
No. 905: We love working out with you. Courtney Harper, 23, Sherman Oaks, California
No. 933: Lots of things are silly reasons to break up while being perfectly legitimate reasons not to start a relationship in the first place. For example, please let us know in advance if you don't like performing oral sex. Rachel Giuliani, 27, Brooklyn
No. 985: We are not all the same, thus you cannot use the same "game" on all of us. Adapt. Thank you. Adrienne Jones, 42, New York
No. 711: Telling me I'm acting ridiculous is the absolute worst way to get me to stop acting ridiculous. Elizabeth Oporto, 26, Merrick, New York
No. 626: There's not one place in the world we hate more than Guitar Center. Not. One. Place. Lauren Cusimano, 24, Phoenix
No. 851: Tell me I look nice, without additional commentary. "Your hair looks good today, but I liked it better the way you had it on Tuesday." You killed it. Stacey Whiteley, 40, Albany, New York
No. 889: Please just stand in front of the sign so we can take a novelty picture for our album at home. Just do it. Mary Joan Arreglado, 26, Tustin, California
No. 166: If you show up at my house without calling first, you'd better be wearing a uniform and delivering the mail. Dee Guzman, 18, Fresh Meadows, New York
No. 135: Warm your hands before touching the goods. Jennifer Tincher, 41, Lewis Center, Ohio
No. 196: If you're wearing sunglasses inside, we think you're either a pedophile or you're high. Maeden Anda, 29, Rancho Santa Margarita, California
No. 89: Few things are more appealing than a little unexpected scruff. Leticia Frazao, 25, New York
No. 190: We're not eating during the date because we ate before. You ought to see what we eat when you're not around. Katie Sanders, 20, Newton, Massachusetts
No. 97: Thongs are really uncomfortable. So are stiletto heels. Sometimes, looking hot is more important than being practical but not all the time. That's why we have those sweatpants. Erin O'Neill, 24, Columbia, Missouri
No. 31: We think it's okay for you to enter the bathroom while we're using the toilet, but only after eighty years of marriage and you think you're walking into the garage. Rachel Heaton, 22, Columbia, Missouri
No. 172: We don't want to be the girl standing somewhere and everyone can tell she's wondering if she'll be stood up. It's okay if you're late sometimes. Just call. Rhiannon Falzone, 26, Chicago
No. 187: It's not that we mind you telling us how beautiful your longtime female friend is, it's that you just made us a murder suspect. Yahaira Ulloa, 28, Elmwood Park, New Jersey
No. 213: Want you to love your mother. We just don't want you to looooovvve your mother. Nicole French, 37, Denver, Colorado
No. 70: One man-trip per year, please. Mercedes Meserve, 32, Newport Beach, California
No. 144: The hottest thing in the world is watching a man deftly perform a task. If you've got one thing that you're good at cooking, carpentry, whatever, let us catch you at it. Kimberly Ryan, 25, Tucson
No. 24: Getting serious freaks us out too. Suzanne Masser, 21, New York
No. 555: We don't care if it keeps your face looking great. We never want to see you walking around the house wearing Noxzema. Claire Serxner, 25, Houston
No. 897: There is zero correlation between how well we dance and how good we are in bed. Jenny Harding, 30, Aliso Viejo, California
No. 992: Notice what color our underwear is. We spend a lot of time and money picking it out. Birgit Leimer, 22, New York
No. 795: Sometimes, foreplay is overrated. Once in a while, thrust us against a wall when we walk in the door. We'll thank you for momentarily. Lisa Huber, 38, Teutopolis, Illinois
No. 367: Every woman you've ever dates imagined what her name would sound like with your last name. Victoria Mineeva, 25, Moscow, Russia
No. 106: We like the way you pretend you ignore us sometimes. It's kinda cute. Sometimes. Karolina Kaczmarek, 29, New York
No. 976: If you compensate the checking of your handheld device with some gesture compliment, hand squeeze, kiss on the forehead that lets us know you care more about us than whoever is e-mailing you, it helps. Jennie Engelhardt, 26, New York
No. 212: There is a limit to the amount of time you can spend complaining about something we whispered while intoxicated. Alix Stoll, 52, Levittown, New York
No. 918: Yes, we're self-sufficient, but we still only earn seventy-seven cents to your dollar. Pony up and pay for the damn date. Becky Ellis, 32, New York
No. 940: Four words that will turn away our wrath: "How can I help?" Judith Brodnicki, 50, Omaha
No. 201: We get perverse joy from eating off of your plate. It's like our version of pissing on the hydrant. Sarah June Renschler, 30, New York
No. 810: Spontaneity is adorable. Molly Rosen, 33, Chicago
No. 773: We do like to be included in your golf games once in a while, and we'll even bet with you sometimes for dangerously high stakes. And not just money. Marianne Towersey, 59, Pebble Beach, California
No. 215: When we fight with our mother, please keep in mind that our mother is never right. Meredith Blake Matthews 26, Pittsburgh
woman eating watermelon
No. 113: We really dress to impress other girls. Michell Favin, 20, New York
No. 202: Fantasy Football tells us that you have the time to spend online shopping for jewelry or looking for new places to take us to dinner, but that you choose not to. Lindsay Coluccio, 33, Newport Beach, California
No. 840: We need to adjust our bits, too. We just don't do it like a piece of performance art. Kt McBratney, 27, Omaha
No. 776: At the end of a first date, gaze warmly into our eyes, but refrain from too much chatter. We actually relish those awkward, silent moments just before you finally kiss us. Devon Brooke Clasen, 31, Las Vegas
No. 924: Sometimes we know our bad mood is just PMS but we don't want to admit it, so we pretend we're mad at you anyway. We're sorry. If you learn the cycle, you'll be prepared. Stephanie Weir, 29, St. Louis
No. 963: We judge your weight and the length of your nails. Joanne Martinez, 23, Brooklyn
No. 645: Timberland boots are a lovely gift, but we don't want them on Valentine's Day. Danielle Scotti, 23, Pittsburgh
No. 52: We could always use a little more cowbell. Beth Hurtubise, 64, Chicago
No. 494: No woman, no matter what music she's into, is immune to the powers of a good booty-shakin' song or the occasional boy band. Jennifer Davidick, 30, Hazleton, Pennsylvania
No. 332: We notice what you have on your nightstand, and we draw as many conclusions as possible. Catlin Moore, 24, Long Beach, California
No. 488: We like your dad. He's always joking around with us, making us feel at home. But no matter how nice your mother is, we are terrified of her.
Brenna Ehrlich, 25, Brooklyn
No. 156: One thing you don't know about women is that actual number of men we've slept with. Don't worry about it. Mylene Martinez, 30, Brooklyn
No. 988: Internally, we measure how much we love you by how much we're willing to sacrifice for you. Claudia Luiggi, 21, Mayag¸ez, Puerto Rico
No. 175: We think dirty texting is underestimated. It has the benefits of phone sex without the awkwardness of co-workers or classmates overhearing what we plan to do to you when we get home. Rachael Candee 24, Bloomington, Indiana
No. 951: When we laugh at your joke, there's a 50 percent chance it's real. Same goes with orgasms. It's just nature. Nina Fortuna, 25, New York
No. 94: It never ceases to amaze us how frequently the use of child-rearing techniques works on grown men. Margaret Kingsbury, 24, Brooklyn
No. 949: In the initial stages of flirting, all electronic communication has been approved by a minimum of three of our friends. Katie Sanders, 20, Newton, Massachusetts
No. 823: If you're going to have a one-night stand, we expect you to give up an article of clothing. Love is a battlefield. Your button-down is a casualty. Jess Goldstein, 21, Berkley Heights, New Jersey
No. 978: The lists we make as girls about the cutest guys at school are the same lists we make in our minds when we're older we just do it much faster now and only discuss it while drinking. Erica Anderson, 30, St. Louis
No. 29: When we're thirteen, we really want our period. As soon as we get it, we hate it. We love it when we aren't trying to get pregnant, hate it when we are. From everything I've heard, we miss it a little when we hit menopause. So, there you have it. Heather Ericson, 32, Barre, Massachusetts
No. 966: There is no right way to say, "Wow, I can't believe you ate that whole thing." Ainsley Drew Nelson, 28, New York
No. 260: Some stereotypes are true: women need intimacy, we need to discuss things, we want you to be more open about your feelings. So sue us. Anneke Schut, 33, Amsterdam
No. 461: The current pantheon of women's magazines aren't nearly as accepting and encouraging as Esquire, so don't take it for granted, and listen to the ladies contained herein. Kimberly Ryan, 25, Tucson
No. 110: It's not that we don't know anything about sports, it's that we know that you like explaining it so much. Caroline Celano, 28, Cambridge, Massachusetts
No. 301: We've always had crushes on you. We never thought you had cooties. Mary Block, 26, Miami
No. 199: After we break up, drunk dials only perpetuate the notion that we could get back together, so we'd prefer if you controlled yourself. Leticia Frazao, 25, New York
No. 902: Don't buy greeting cards unless you absolutely have to. To put it gently, it's an art you have yet to master. Carolyn Morgan, 33, Irvine, California
No. 807: Just because we've scratched your back a couple of nights to help you fall asleep doesn't mean we want to do it every night of our lives. Shannon Ingram, 58, Mission Viejo, California
No. 408: Little things like table manners matter to us because in the back of our minds, we're always thinking, could I introduce this guy to my parents? And if you're burping with a face full of mayo, the answer is "No." Maura E. McGill, 29, New York
No. 264: We like manly hands, but no one wants to be touched by hard, calloused paws. Moisturize that shit. We do. Haiyen Chin, 33, Brooklyn
No. 312: There should never be rhinestones on your clothing. Or your belt. Ever. We are the sparkly ones. Lindsay Coluccio, 33, Newport Beach, California
No. 357: If possible, never tell us your ex's full name, because we might not be able to avoid hate-stalking her online for weeks for no actual reason and finding a dumb reason to fight with you. Stephanie Weir, 29, St. Louis
No. 690: We consider not having to shave our legs to be the single greatest perk of being single. Danielle Scotti, 23, Pittsburgh
No. 7: Even tomboys like flowers. Shannon McCarthy, 24, Valencia, California
No. 965: We enjoy Twilight even though it's a four-volume installment of a fantasy you'll never live up to. It doesn't mean you're not great. It just means you don't sparkle. Meredith Blake Matthews, 26, Pittsburgh
No. 984: There is a direct correlation between the size of the mega-spoiler on your car and the unlikelihood of your getting laid. Rachel Baron, 26, Chicago
No. 141: We roll our eyes. A lot. We are not having a seizure. We are not about to faint. We just have really bad attitudes sometimes. Michele Pepio, 35, Staten Island
No. 42: Flirting with you after ten years is sometimes better than flirting when we first met. Jen Russell, 26, Mexico, Missouri
No. 997: Pants should cover your ass. Heather Brecht, 22, San Diego
No. 16: Men absolutely get better with age especially when you feel the same about us. Carrie Dienhart, 34, Kansas City, Missouri
No. 103: We like it when you kiss the top of our head. Rachel Crader, 23, Leopold, Missouri
No. 306: Don't pretend we don't tell you when something's wrong. Come on now. Increased chocolate intake. Foot tapping. Crossed arms. Tears during a Hallmark commercial. We've said all we need to. Tell us we look even skinnier than usual. And then get us a glass of Sancerre. Kirsten Hall, 35, New York
No. 79: We love to hear we are beautiful. Breaking it down into specifics is even better. Christine Siltanen, 28, Portland, Oregon
No. 10: Anything but roses. Think about it. We've mentioned our favorite flower more than once. If you can't remember, go with a lily. Rhiannon Falzone, 25, Chicago
No. 512: We're not always aware of our breasts. If we happen to brush up against you, we're not necessarily coming on to you. Sometimes we are. But it's not a given. Nicole French, 37, Denver, Colorado
No. 87: Women can tell if you're wearing clothes that were given to you by your mother. They all have that "I used to wear essentially the same shirt when I was eight" look. This isn't awful if done occasionally, but when that's your daily head-to-toe, it sends a questionable message. Kimberly Ryan, 25, Tucson
No. 492: We don't expect you to read our minds. We expect you to ask. Kelly Viets, 20, Newport News, Virginia
No. 19: We remember if you told us you would call us tomorrow, so if you don't mean tomorrow, say "soon." No woman will ever hold it against you if you call when you say you will, and we always notice when you don't. Roxanna Elden, 30, Miami
No. 284: We want you to have your "guy time." In fact, if you don't have a great group of men to hang around, it's a turn-off. Whitney Webb, 22, Blacksburg, Virginia
No. 67: Women in their mid-thirties have to do everything for ourselves drive our careers, pay the mortgage, fix broken appliances, assemble furniture. The only place we don't have to do it ourselves is in the bedroom. For that one small slice of the day, we'll actually give up control and let someone else own us. So, own us. Suzanne Casamento, 28, Los Angeles
No. 413: Asking "are you ticklish" as an excuse to touch a woman for the first time is not appropriate past the age of 17. Claire Serxner, 25, Houston
No. 706: Why do you spell "you" as "u" in a text? Spell it out. Is it really that hard? Becky Ellis, 32, New York
No. 511: It freaks us out when you put a t-shirt on after sex but walk around without boxers. It's not becoming. Molly Rosen, 31, Writer, Chicago
No. 99: If you tell us you love us during sex, it will only confuse us. We won't know whether the sentiment is genuine or blurted out in the heat of passion. If you mean it and want to tell us, wait until we're fully clothed and you're fully sober. Devon Brooke Clasen, 31, Las Vegas
No. 184: You have our interest if you pick us up in a convertible. You have our hearts if there is a hair tie and/or brush in the car. Beth Hurtubise, 26, Chicago
No. 73: Thongs are uncomfortable. Ingrid Castillo, 22, Miami
No. 661: Never pinch the muffin-top. This is grounds for execution. Catlin Moore, 24, Long Beach, California
No. 930: We only have two to three bras that we alternate. We tell you we just have a bunch of the same one. Lies! Jane Marie Solomon, 23, Austin, Texas
No. 723: Sometimes we wear our bathing suits when we run out of underwear. Brenna Ehrlich, 25, Brooklyn
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No. 25: When we ask you to be honest, and your honest response is something you know we will be upset about, fib just a little. But only because you love us. Kelly Heintz, 23, Fresno, California
No. 550: As much as we want to say that looks don't matter, they are a big part of first impressions. Physical attraction gets the door open, but pretty much from there, it really is your personality that will carry you. Lauren Hesser, 25, St. Louis
No. 74: It goes movie, then dinner. That way we don't have to rush. We have time for dessert. Tawnia Mayhugh, 34, Yakima, Washington
No. 800: We know it's called the pinch and roll. Laura Moss, 22, San Diego, California
No. 37: More back massages. Shannon Little, 23, Memphis
No. 129: When we walk into a room we notice which women you'd sleep with before you do. Rachael Candee, 24, Iowa City, Iowa
No. 76: I only like football because of the pants. Sondra Gavaldon, 28, Brooklyn
No. 864: Men always wonder what women want. We won't admit it, but we wonder the same exact thing. Mei Christensen, 21, Charlottesville, Virginia
No. 418: It's okay to tear up at the end of the World Series. It's not okay during American Idol. Lorelei Donaldson, 23, Columbia, Missouri
No. 101: Pizza and beer only counts as "date night" once every two months. Taylor Rausch, 23, Columbia, Missouri
No. 54: It's okay if you want to watch Steel Magnolias with us. But if you cry harder than we do when Shelby dies, you are going to have to start answering some questions. Kelsey Allen, 21, Columbia, Missouri
No. 476: If you have more shoes than we do, that's a deal breaker. And yes, sneakers count. Nina Fortuna, 25, New York
No. 68: We nag because we care. Luce Melendez, 22, New York
No. 302: Don't try to feed me. I'm not an infant and it's not romantic. Katie Dinardo, 23, Brooklyn
No. 554: Women don't get mad at you because they have PMS. They get mad at you because you're being an idiot. Hannah Rosengren,19, Beverly, Massachusetts
No. 13: Buying lingerie for your girlfriend is like buying a present for yourself. If she's showing you her undies, chances are you'll be removing them. Assess your priorities, sir. Stephanie Hoos, 23, New York
No. 293: There's nothing more unappealing than a man being indecisive. Unless he's being indecisive between bouts of crying. Katy Steinmetz, 25, Washington, D.C.
No. 111: When you offer to pay for something and we refuse, insist one more time. Always insist. Cristina Luiggi, 24, New York
No. 767: We are afraid of spiders and bees, yet hot wax ripped from very sensitive areas we seem to be okay with. Taylor McGraw, 20, Oxford, Mississippi
No. 66: Things we don't appreciate: hematomas in the form of hickeys. Katie Sanders, 20, Newton, Massachusetts
No. 14: Chivalry, within reason. Holding the door for us? Yes. Ordering for us? No. Unless your date can't read. Jessica Goldstein, 21, Philadelphia
No. 81: Romance is relative. I will always hold a deep affection for the man who built a shower in my studio apartment as a surprise. Think outside of the box and become immortal. Suzanne Fortin, 31, Missoula, Montana
No. 912: We are manipulative beasts. Call us on it from time to time, just not all the time. Lisa Huber, 38, Teutopolis, Illinois
No. 9: Cook for us and you'll get laid at the end of the evening. Clean up the mess you made cooking and you'll get better sex than when you turned off the television in the middle of an "important" game. Judith Brodnicki, 50, Omaha
No. 444: No man ever talked a woman into sex. Ninety-nine percent of the time, a woman knows she is going to have sex when she walks out the door. Men can only talk themselves out of it. Pat Lieske, 46, Los Angeles
No. 316: At the end of a first date, just call us the next day if you liked us. You can wait three days if you want, but it will only piss us off. Wynne Kontos, 21, Lafayette, Indiana
No. 107: When we point out something sweet we saw another guy do, we want you to do it for us, too. Obviously. Ashley Graf, 20, Utica, New York
No. 222: Don't tell us you're on a low-carb diet when you take us out to dinner. That's why we're not out with our girlfriends. Leila Gheit, 28, Jackson Heights, New York
No. 716: No need to pretend it's more comfortable to sleep spooning. We just want to sleep like we always do, and we'll see you in the morning. Ileana Morales, 21, Gainesville, Florida
No. 300: A plunger for our place will never be a good gift. Carrie Dienhart, 34, Kansas City, Missouri
No. 75: Most women's version of the perfect man is some combination of James Bond, Prince Charming, and George Clooney. This, luckily for you, is a man who would terrify us in real life. Erica Anderson, 30, Chicago
No. 60: Never use fabric softener when you launder towels. It ruins their absorbency. When we're visiting, we want thick, fluffy, absorbent towels. And we want them to be some version of white. Just a tip. Stephanie Shaughnessy, 41, Pittsburgh
No. 733: We have several tools at our disposal to keep us from having sex with you before we are ready wearing granny panties and not shaving are two of the strongest weapons in our arsenal. If the first time you have sex with us we are unkempt and wearing huge briefs, you must have crazy animal magnetism, or we are very drunk. Heather Ericson, 32, Barre, Massachusetts
No. 51: Joking about your penis size makes us feel uncomfortable every time. Every. Time. Krista Iovino, 32, New York
No. 56: We love having our layers taken off one at a time and eagerly anticipate you noticing the new lingerie we've been enduring all night. Staci Brinkman, 27, Dallas
No. 208: S-l-o-o-o-w d-o-o-o-w-n-n-n. Melinda Meggyesy, 31, Seattle
No. 643: Never hang up first. Renee Taylor, 22, St. Catharines, Ontario, Canada
No. 382: Old Spice High Endurance Pure Sport. Sarah June Renschler, 30, New York City
No. 21: Men drink coffee, not skinny double-pump soy macchiatos. Ordering the latter doesn't impress us; it makes us wonder if you'd rather be double-pumping your buddy Todd. Kt McBratney, 27, Omaha
No. 310: If we freak out over baby shoes, it doesn't necessarily mean we want a baby. There's just something about baby shoes. Women. Love. Baby shoes. Stephanie Weir, 29, St. Louis
woman in rain
No. 85: Women hate when men talk badly about their friends. No matter how bad a friend they are, be supportive. Listen to the drama without being too opinionated. That what we do. Danielle Scotti, 23, Pittsburgh
No. 622: When we say we don't want flowers, we really want you to secretly ask our friends or search our Web history to find out what our favorite kind of flower is without us knowing so we're "surprised" when you hit the nail on the head. Meredith Blake Matthews, 26, Pittsburgh
No. 403: You should be able to do anything Bob Vila can. Or that HGTV makes happen in a 30-minute episode. Jennifer Davidick, 30, Hazleton, Pennsylvania
No. 210: Even feminists want kitchens with stainless steel appliances. Rachel Baron, 26, Chicago
No. 517: When we ask you how we look, we are really saying, "I am needy, please validate me. Please tell me I'm pretty. Please tell me you don't regret loving me." Michele Pepio, 35, Staten Island, New York
No. 209: When you agree to take yoga with us, it's endearing. But endearing never got anybody laid. Ainsley Drew Nelson, 28, New York
No. 235: If I see you treat waitstaff or cashiers poorly, I will probably never touch your penis. Rachel Giuliani, 27, Brooklyn
No. 929: You should be more concerned when I stop thinking your jokes are funny than with how often I want to have sex. Elizabeth Oporto, 26, Merrick, New York
No. 867: We think at least two of your friends are hot. Lauren Cusimano, 24, Phoenix
No. 430: I remember staying over at my parents' house with my boyfriend while we were in town for a wedding. As we were falling asleep, he said, "I like our bed better." I replied that it was more comfortable. His response was, "Yeah, and it's ours." At that moment, our relationship became real. "Ours" is a powerful word. Sarah Godumski, 29, Pocono Summit, Pennsylvania
No. 321: When I say, "that feels good," it doesn't mean go faster and harder. It means to keep doing that. Stacey Whiteley, 40, Albany, New York
No. 883: We think guys who call every day and don't ask us out are playing hard to get. Come on, collections-department guy! Yahaira Ulloa, 28, Elmwood Park, New Jersey
No. 38: Sometimes we bring you to dinners, parties, and events just to be able to say, "That one is mine." Remember that. Janice Tsai, 30, Sacramento
No. 109: Your foot rubbing against our leg when we're sound asleep does not constitute foreplay. Nor does "Hey, you awake?" Shannon Ingram, 58, Mission Viejo, California
No. 21: We understand the World Cup too. Erin Dowding, 34, Brooklyn
No. 223: We know we snore sometimes. Don't ever tell us when we do. Eva Meszaros, 25, Brooklyn
No. 450: Yes, I saw Braveheart, and it's one of my favorite movies too. Allie Nordby, 20, Los Angeles
No. 999: We really don't like your skinny jeans. Yoakova Franklin, 20, Great Neck
No. 59: If you're going to be a backseat driver, be absolutely freaking sure you know where you're going. Carolyn Morgan, 33, Irvine, California
No. 2: We don't want to see your feet while we're having sex. Sarah O'Connell, 18, New York
No. 43: We want you to look nice, but please don't spend more time getting ready than we do. Rose-Marie Larsson, 20, Goteborg, Sweden
No. 607: We are the same human being with makeup and without it. Alix Stoll, 52, Levittown, New York
No. 684: Using a GPS is not a sign of weakness. Marianne Towersey, 59, Pebble Beach, California
No. 326: Hats don't conceal the fact that you're balding. They only delay the point at which we come to terms with it. Lindsay Coluccio, 33, Newport Beach, California
No. 445: We are judging your outfit, whether silently or not, from head to toe, right this very moment. Jodie Love, 25, Brooklyn
No. 477: Men don't know how much we really eat. Really. Natalia Angel, 22, London
No. 660: Don't ask me why my Stella is in a wine glass. It's not. Get your beers straight. Leigh Metherell, 22, Brooklyn
No. 908: Despite what we say, you holding a baby with complete confidence is an absolute aphrodisiac. Put the baby down and come touch me. Jennifer Trinh, 24, Irvine, California
No. 220: We may say we enjoy watching Top Gear or the Lakers, but really more than anything we enjoy seeing how teaching us about Top Gear and the Lakers boosts your confidence. Courtney Harper, 23, Sherman Oaks, California
No. 47: Never. Wear. Neon. Carolynn Johnson, 26, Brooklyn
No. 732: We'll take nice forearms over six-pack abs any day. Jennie Engelhardt, 26, New York
No. 22: Turning into our mothers is an inevitable fear we live with on a daily basis. Calling this to our attention at any point is a terrible idea. Just don't do it. Maura E. McGill, 29, New York
No. 18: Sometimes we just complain about our periods so you'll leave us alone. Kt McBratney, 27, Omaha
No. 388: If you ask for our number a second time and we don't give it to you, there's a good chance we can't remember the first number we gave you. Megan McDonnell, 30, Los Angeles
No. 314: Don't try to figure out what will make us happy. We have been trying to get to the bottom of that mystery since the beginning of time and we have no clue either. Michele Pepio, 35, Staten Island, New York
No. 497: We like whiskey. And beer. Maura E. McGill, 29, New York
No. 730: We find it creepy when your fingernails are longer and/or shinier than ours. You may get a manicure, but don't admit it, and don't enjoy it. Eva Meszaros, 25, Brooklyn
No. 642: Men see what women do, but they never know what women think while they are doing it. Verena Michaeler, 18, Brixen, Italy
No. 297: We pee in the shower. There is a drain and running water. Why not? Valerie Vaughan, 51, Denver
No. 616: If you stop with the compliments, then so might our efforts to look as hot as we did when we started dating. Why should we spend time and money that we don't have in excess when our target audience doesn't even notice? Haiyen Chin, 33, Brooklyn
No. 644: If we offer you gum, it means we want to kiss you later. It's not an insult. Just take the gum. Rhiannon Falzone, 26, Chicago
No. 524: That low-cut top we wouldn't wear it if we didn't want you to look. Just be discrete about it. Whitney Webb, 22, Blacksburg, Virginia
I've got some experience with rule 214
Sean
We'll see.
- Joined
- Feb 17, 2005
- Posts
- 96,193
Was it really neccessary to quote the entire post?
since i don't even visit those threads, how would i know about the content?
as i said to you before, if you saw material you believed broke the site's age-rules then report them. seems you spend a lot of time over on those sorts of threads. seems a bit strange, for a woman....
You wouldn't have time anyway.
All that scrutinizing of what "the ugly inside" post
hoping to find a hint of reportable material...
RobDownSouth
No Kings
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- Apr 13, 2002
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- 77,758
DeluxAuto
AntiSocial Extrovert
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- Dec 16, 2010
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He isn't very smart especially when he always tries to be the isolated thread police.
HarryHill
Hairy fucker
- Joined
- Jul 13, 2012
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- 15,271
..
No not necessary just making a point. Sorry you had to scroll through the whole thing again. Once was plenty for me.
DeluxAuto
AntiSocial Extrovert
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- Dec 16, 2010
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Your point sucked.
HarryHill
Hairy fucker
- Joined
- Jul 13, 2012
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- 15,271
..
That's harsh.
Not as bitter as your alt, whenever I was whingeing about ronmcc's s spamming.
Did your grief over the deleted threads distract you from logging under Heathergave?
DeluxAuto
AntiSocial Extrovert
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What?
Stewart_Pidd
making dinner bro
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- Mar 3, 2012
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Threads also vanish when people are on ignore bro.
Stew
Stew
DeluxAuto
AntiSocial Extrovert
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- Dec 16, 2010
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For both offenders.
Lorilei
asexual prude
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- Nov 4, 2007
- Posts
- 24,621
Nah, just the original. Harry didn't mean any harm.
Pookie
Chop!! Chop!!
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2002
- Posts
- 58,778
I thought you were just imagining me nekkid, cuz bro.
Pookie
Chop!! Chop!!
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2002
- Posts
- 58,778
Agreed. I say let him live.
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