Sexless Marriages

[ccs29745]

I think I need to sleep for a week people, I’m so weary and emotionally drained... anyone got good drugs they want to send? And about a dozen tight hugs too

Some some good painkillers. They put me to sleep. I have as many hugs as you need kiddo.

 

[ccs29745]

I hope you feel better soon. It sucks what happened, but it is his loss. There is something much better for you somewhere out there. Just give it some time. In the meantime, do some special things for yourself.

As to all, sorry that I have not been on much. My main computer died, and I hate typing/using the laptop/phone. It might get fixed this week, but not really sure. Crossing fingers.

All I have is my phone. Still think my 5 year old smart than it sometimes.

 

[philos]

I think I need to sleep for a week people, I’m so weary and emotionally drained... anyone got good drugs they want to send? And about a dozen tight hugs too

Careful not to give into depression. I’m a total hypocrite for saying that but I know if I give into it too much it just tends to get deeper. Movement, sunlight, humor and activity aren’t necessarily what you might crave but it might help.

 

[The_gladiator]

Thank you guys and I’m the same way.

The shocker is that he’d be so cruel to do this to me after seeing me at my lowest and helping me recover. I have lost all respect for him, he clearly has some major issues to think this is ok behaviour, and especially in his late 50’s.

He has basically ghosted me, as he has disappeared all over but he thinks it’s acceptable because he sent me an email!

Uh No... we are not kids and we were as close as you can get for 6 months. I know everything about him, as he does about me!

Can you clarify what you would have preferred? I would think a well thought out letter is how some people communicate. Sometimes people communicate through writing. I don’t know enough about him, but this clearly was not what you wanted. As someone longdistance what would you have preferred?

 

[DDBustyBrit]

Can you clarify what you would have preferred? I would think a well thought out letter is how some people communicate. Sometimes people communicate through writing. I don’t know enough about him, but this clearly was not what you wanted. As someone longdistance what would you have preferred?

We have never emailed in 6 months and only 2 calls I think total in 6 months, we spent an hour a day on cam minimum and thousands of texts. But the relationship was 90% face to face on cam from the moment we met. It’s one of the things that set him totally apart.

So I think it was totally reasonable to expect it to end that way.

And the email was more like to a business colleague and bizarre in another aspect I won’t share. Another couple of close friends have seen it and said WTF

 

[The_gladiator]

We have never emailed in 6 months and only 2 calls I think total in 6 months, we spent an hour a day on cam minimum and thousands of texts. But the relationship was 90% face to face on cam from the moment we met. It’s one of the things that set him totally apart.

So I think it was totally reasonable to expect it to end that way.

And the email was more like to a business colleague and bizarre in another aspect I won’t share. Another couple of close friends have seen it and said WTF

Thank you for clarifying. If it was out of character for him that seems weird.

I know I was given shit for doing it over the phone once, but I was legit concerned she’d hit me in person so didn’t put myself in that situation.

 

[DDBustyBrit]

Thank you for clarifying. If it was out of character for him that seems weird.

I know I was given shit for doing it over the phone once, but I was legit concerned she’d hit me in person so didn’t put myself in that situation.

Self preservation first my friend... but yes he owes me a face to face, but he took the cowards way out and to hell with me. Oh well... at least I found out now he never cared, I feel very used and terribly gun shy of Lit men.

 

[Funjackal]

We have never emailed in 6 months and only 2 calls I think total in 6 months, we spent an hour a day on cam minimum and thousands of texts. But the relationship was 90% face to face on cam from the moment we met. It’s one of the things that set him totally apart.

So I think it was totally reasonable to expect it to end that way.

And the email was more like to a business colleague and bizarre in another aspect I won’t share. Another couple of close friends have seen it and said WTF

Have you considered it may not have come directly from him? Perhaps he was found out and was writing to you with someone looking over his shoulder, hence the matter of fact manner and the other oddities?

 

[MatureChattyMan]

Self preservation first my friend... but yes he owes me a face to face, but he took the cowards way out and to hell with me. Oh well... at least I found out note he never cared, I feel very used and terribly gun shy of Lit men.

Absolutely, you have to do what's right for you first, and what feels right

 

[DDBustyBrit]

Have you considered it may not have come directly from him? Perhaps he was found out and was writing to you with someone looking over his shoulder, hence the matter of fact manner and the other oddities?

I know for certain that’s not it, I also know why, it’s the heartless method.

 

[The_gladiator]

Self preservation first my friend... but yes he owes me a face to face, but he took the cowards way out and to hell with me. Oh well... at least I found out now he never cared, I feel very used and terribly gun shy of Lit men.

Unfortunately I have to disagree with you here. You might disagree with what he did, and how he did it. However I cannot support the concept that he owes you a face to face. If things are truly over and he doesn’t care anymore, if you are breaking up with someone you technically don’t owe them anything. Yes this means that they’re entitled to think you an ass hole for it, but we are not automatically garenteed to get what we want in a breakup it’s not fair but such is life. I’m not saying you’re wrong to be hurt by any means, just technically saying that I don’t think that the victim of the breakup is technically owed anything. Yes it hurts that my wife left but I can’t be like you owe me this explanation because technically she doesn’t, sucks when we don’t get the closure we want but we aren’t garenteed that.

 

[DDBustyBrit]

Unfortunately I have to disagree with you here. You might disagree with what he did, and how he did it. However I cannot support the concept that he owes you a face to face. If things are truly over and he doesn’t care anymore, if you are breaking up with someone you technically don’t owe them anything. Yes this means that they’re entitled to think you an ass hole for it, but we are not automatically garenteed to get what we want in a breakup it’s not fair but such is life. I’m not saying you’re wrong to be hurt by any means, just technically saying that I don’t think that the victim of the breakup is technically owed anything. Yes it hurts that my wife left but I can’t be like you owe me this explanation because technically she doesn’t, sucks when we don’t get the closure we want but we aren’t garenteed that.

Thanks

But I’m out for awhile, this isn’t what I need right now, you might remember I’m here for the second time in 6 months.

 

[impulsively]

So after 6 happy months with daily contact, tonight I received a ‘Dear John’ e-mail ending our relationship. I never had Canada tagged as a man who would be so inconsiderate and disrespectful.

It just goes to show how fooled we can be. It’s going to be a very long time before I trust my judgment on men, or another Lit man.

This time however I’m finding out it doesn’t hurt nearly as bad as the last one. I may be unwittingly protecting my heart more and also taking my time before I give it. I thought I had to Canada, but I had actually reflected just in the last few days that what I felt was not actually love.

This one I will notch up to experience and I suspect his regret will be greater than mine over time. We were an amazing match up while it lasted.

My condolences. I agree it is an inexcusable manner for anyone to break off a relationship. It's the cowards way out.

 

[The_gladiator]

Thanks

But I’m out for awhile, this isn’t what I need right now, you might remember I’m here for the second time in 6 months.

I apologize that you are hurt by my difference of opinion. Hopefully you feel better soon.

 

[Funjackal]

I know for certain that’s not it, I also know why, it’s the heartless method.

Ok, I’m sorry for what you’re going through. I know I’m new here but it seems there are many people to at least give you some light relief. Keep your head up.

 

[ccs29745]

I know for certain that’s not it, I also know why, it’s the heartless method.

A face to face would let her bitch slap him.

 

[Suzie85]

Unfortunately I have to disagree with you here. You might disagree with what he did, and how he did it. However I cannot support the concept that he owes you a face to face. If things are truly over and he doesn’t care anymore, if you are breaking up with someone you technically don’t owe them anything. Yes this means that they’re entitled to think you an ass hole for it, but we are not automatically garenteed to get what we want in a breakup it’s not fair but such is life. I’m not saying you’re wrong to be hurt by any means, just technically saying that I don’t think that the victim of the breakup is technically owed anything. Yes it hurts that my wife left but I can’t be like you owe me this explanation because technically she doesn’t, sucks when we don’t get the closure we want but we aren’t garenteed that.

I think you're confusing what someone thinks is morally the correct course of action with the chances of it ever happening.

 

[KeenVoyeur]

A warm hug from another sexless Brit

I think I need to sleep for a week people, I’m so weary and emotionally drained... anyone got good drugs they want to send? And about a dozen tight hugs too

I'll add my warm hug to the several hundred you've probably already had …

Unfortunately I don't condone drugs - apart from paracetamol or ibuprofen, which may help relieve the pain short-term

Would love to be in that workplace to witness the arrival of several Amazon boxes

 

[The_gladiator]

I think you're confusing what someone thinks is morally the correct course of action with the chances of it ever happening.

Maybe so. Just gave my opinion based on things that were said.

 

[ccs29745]

Opinions

Still don't like how he treated DD. I know online relationships can be little different in situations like this. He may not owe her face to face cause of distance, but he could have at least called or face time or what ever people use to video chat.

I wad in a relationship for 17 months with another woman years ago. After finding out she wasn't going to leave her current situation, I called and ended it. Worst feeling I ever had cause she was my first love. Yes, there were 14 years between us, but I loved her, not sure she was in as love as much as I was.

Let's all be a shoulder DD can rest her head onand support each other.

 

[IASFPWTF]

Still don't like how he treated DD. I know online relationships can be little different in situations like this. He may not owe her face to face cause of distance, but he could have at least called or face time or what ever people use to video chat.

I wad in a relationship for 17 months with another woman years ago. After finding out she wasn't going to leave her current situation, I called and ended it. Worst feeling I ever had cause she was my first love. Yes, there were 14 years between us, but I loved her, not sure she was in as love as much as I was.

Let's all be a shoulder DD can rest her head onand support each other.

My shoulder is always ready DD!

 

[HampshireBoy]

So after 6 happy months with daily contact, tonight I received a ‘Dear John’ e-mail ending our relationship. I never had Canada tagged as a man who would be so inconsiderate and disrespectful.

It just goes to show how fooled we can be. It’s going to be a very long time before I trust my judgment on men, or another Lit man.

This time however I’m finding out it doesn’t hurt nearly as bad as the last one. I may be unwittingly protecting my heart more and also taking my time before I give it. I thought I had to Canada, but I had actually reflected just in the last few days that what I felt was not actually love.

This one I will notch up to experience and I suspect his regret will be greater than mine over time. We were an amazing match up while it lasted.

I'm just catching up having not been on lit for a while. So sorry to read this DDBB, it just goes to show that we can all misjudge other people and none of us know what is going on in someone elses head. Sending you big virtual hugs and hoping that you are soon over this and facing life with a smile again.

 

[DDBustyBrit]

I'm just catching up having not been on lit for a while. So sorry to read this DDBB, it just goes to show that we can all misjudge other people and none of us know what is going on in someone elses head. Sending you big virtual hugs and hoping that you are soon over this and facing life with a smile again.

Thank you guys

I’m doing better, realizing some people enter your life for a season and I think he served his purpose by getting me back on my feet.

I’m a totally different woman to the shattered and vulnerable one he met. My mojo, confidence and self worth is fully back, I know what I want and he was not giving me it... so I think he bolted rather than be the man I hoped he was! There’s such a thing as acting in haste and repenting at leisure, his loss

 

[Lost_Yonder]

Thank you guys

I’m doing better, realizing some people enter your life for a season and I think he served his purpose by getting me back on my feet.

I’m a totally different woman to the shattered and vulnerable one he met. My mojo, confidence and self worth is fully back, I know what I want and he was not giving me it... so I think he bolted rather than be the man I hoped he was! There’s such a thing as acting in haste and repenting at leisure, his loss

You are an amazing woman! du courage

 

[DDBustyBrit]

You are an amazing woman! du courage

Why thank you

But trust me, I’m as flawed as anyone here. I’m just learning slowly from my life experiences, hopefully it will make me wiser before I kick the bucket!