Sexless Marriages

[AnnieLit]

So after 6 happy months with daily contact, tonight I received a ‘Dear John’ e-mail ending our relationship. I never had Canada tagged as a man who would be so inconsiderate and disrespectful.

It just goes to show how fooled we can be. It’s going to be a very long time before I trust my judgment on men, or another Lit man.

This time however I’m finding out it doesn’t hurt nearly as bad as the last one. I may be unwittingly protecting my heart more and also taking my time before I give it. I thought I had to Canada, but I had actually reflected just in the last few days that what I felt was not actually love.

This one I will notch up to experience and I suspect his regret will be greater than mine over time. We were an amazing match up while it lasted.

So sorry DDBB! ❤

Any relationship can fall apart, but it looks like long distance, online only ones are at even bigger risk of not lasting long.
And yes, after each failed one it is harder and harder to completely open up to anybody, but what else can we do? If we stay closed up, it is not going to work for sure, so we take a risk and then pay for it.

Have a hot bath, a glass of good wine, and then try not to kill anybody in training My swim time is always the best when I am pissed off.

 

[jayjay04]

So after 6 happy months with daily contact, tonight I received a ‘Dear John’ e-mail ending our relationship. I never had Canada tagged as a man who would be so inconsiderate and disrespectful.

It just goes to show how fooled we can be. It’s going to be a very long time before I trust my judgment on men, or another Lit man.

This time however I’m finding out it doesn’t hurt nearly as bad as the last one. I may be unwittingly protecting my heart more and also taking my time before I give it. I thought I had to Canada, but I had actually reflected just in the last few days that what I felt was not actually love.

This one I will notch up to experience and I suspect his regret will be greater than mine over time. We were an amazing match up while it lasted.

Yea, he will definitely live to regret that! Although im just basing that on your photos

 

[Glazedcorneas]

So after 6 happy months with daily contact, tonight I received a ‘Dear John’ e-mail ending our relationship. I never had Canada tagged as a man who would be so inconsiderate and disrespectful.

It just goes to show how fooled we can be. It’s going to be a very long time before I trust my judgment on men, or another Lit man.

This time however I’m finding out it doesn’t hurt nearly as bad as the last one. I may be unwittingly protecting my heart more and also taking my time before I give it. I thought I had to Canada, but I had actually reflected just in the last few days that what I felt was not actually love.

This one I will notch up to experience and I suspect his regret will be greater than mine over time. We were an amazing match up while it lasted.

Please accept my deepest apologies for your hurtful experience. I personally can not relate to what you experienced via an online connection, but in person I can empathize. In addition, reading and feeling your pain/anger on this thread is beginning to shed some light on the reservations people have when I try to reach out and communicates with them online. I have been on lit for a little bit, but only engaged in meaningful communication with like 1 - 2 people, sort of, but not of choice. I was expecting to talk to many more people, but it has been a challenge I wasn’t expecting, but what I am learning is many people truly establish emotional/spiritual relationships via online and if that bond ends, like many relationships whether online or in person, unexpectedly or unhealthy, they set up their guard to protect themselves, which is expected. Please forgive me if I sound like an idiot for not knowing and expressing my realization. I just did not know as I noted earlier, I consider myself very green on these types of sites and my expectations where different then what I am experiencing, which I am know understanding the root cause. That said, again, my heart goes out to you, though I do not know you, you personally, but you are a human and you are in pain and I don’t like to see or hear of people in pain, emotional, spiritually, mentally, and non consensually physical. Wishing you a fast and healthy healing from your wounds.

 

[KeenVoyeur]

Thank goodness for back door entrances. Got my stuff back, but have to take longer route in.

Even a back door entry would be nice in my / our circumstances!

 

[KeenVoyeur]

Oh dear

So after 6 happy months with daily contact, tonight I received a ‘Dear John’ e-mail ending our relationship. I never had Canada tagged as a man who would be so inconsiderate and disrespectful.

It just goes to show how fooled we can be. It’s going to be a very long time before I trust my judgment on men, or another Lit man.

This time however I’m finding out it doesn’t hurt nearly as bad as the last one. I may be unwittingly protecting my heart more and also taking my time before I give it. I thought I had to Canada, but I had actually reflected just in the last few days that what I felt was not actually love.

This one I will notch up to experience and I suspect his regret will be greater than mine over time. We were an amazing match up while it lasted.

I don't really know you that well but I have read your posts on this thread and I'm pretty shocked that your potential happiness has been wrecked just like that!

Hopefully you will find someone that isn't an anonymous nickname and can be happy again.

 

[Stillrandy]

Well it’s over, Canada is done and I’m still in a sexless marriage.

As with the rest of your friends here, I hate it that that part of your life came to an end, especially so gracelessly. And then you mention the sexless marriage and that is really even more sad, and such a waste. Of course, none of us know what another's situation, but your wit, beauty, intelligence, grace, and raw sexuality deserve a worthy partner. I hope that will happen for you.

I suspect that the men here are saying to themselves, "God, if she were mine...."

(And thanks for sharing yourself with all of us...)

 

[DDBustyBrit]

Ok so just wow all of you... I am deeply touched by the lovely comments and insightful thoughts you all left me here today.

This one I will survive, I had actually realized over the weekend this was not love for me. I had sent him a long message explaining that but wanting to continue to build our relationship, before he sent his. Of course in line with him taking the cowardly way to tell me, he is also staying off Skype and so thinks I’m heartbroken I’m sure and crying over him.

I’m not at all. I’m really shocked at his horrible thoughtless method after sharing 6 intense months everyday and I’m now even more wary of men here. This is also the man who picked me up off the floor when my heart was broken 7 months ago and held me up until I returned to myself. He was so patient and kind with me, which is why this is so shocking. But I hope he reads my message to him as he will be surprised at what I said, he has badly misread the situation and blew this without knowing all the facts. I am certain he will be kicking himself!

However he’s not my Ex that I cried over a long time, I have yet to shed a tear and doubt I will. Ironically the one I did love would not have been so cowardly, he called me and treated me with respect even if it was acrimonious.

Live and learn Sexless family... guard your hearts but don’t fear letting others close to you, then the losers win

 

[ladylust543]

Hi, I am 38 female, and have been in a sexless marriage since i was 35,

 

[Jd192235]

Hi, I am 38 female, and have been in a sexless marriage since i was 35,

Mmmm I’d love to chat, you sound lovely but you don’t have pms

 

[ladylust543]

Try Now

 

[Polranny]

Ladylust1543

Try Now

Careful, you'll be inundated, btw 3 years sexlessness is a drop in the ocean

 

[Lost_Yonder]

DDBB - am truly sorry about your situation. Having failed myself several times to sustain online/distant relationships I know it is a tough process. But hopefully you can at least appreciate him for being there for you early on when you needed someone and he filled that void in your life. You are a stronger woman than you might imagine and I look forward to you more often flitting in and out of our little niche here! His loss, our gain

 

[ccs29745]

DDBB - am truly sorry about your situation. Having failed myself several times to sustain online/distant relationships I know it is a tough process. But hopefully you can at least appreciate him for being there for you early on when you needed someone and he filled that void in your life. You are a stronger woman than you might imagine and I look forward to you more often flitting in and out of our little niche here! His loss, our gain

I second the last 4 words. Yes he helped you up, but if he had no intention of relationship going past online, he should have said so.

I hate seeing males misleading females and vice versa

 

[Mtnmike]

I second the last 4 words. Yes he helped you up, but if he had no intention of relationship going past online, he should have said so.

I hate seeing males misleading females and vice versa

Totally agree, hate when people lead others on. I'm a what you see or hear is what you get.

 

[DDBustyBrit]

I second the last 4 words. Yes he helped you up, but if he had no intention of relationship going past online, he should have said so.

I hate seeing males misleading females and vice versa

Totally agree, hate when people led others on. I'm a what you see or hear is what you get.

Thank you guys and I’m the same way.

The shocker is that he’d be so cruel to do this to me after seeing me at my lowest and helping me recover. I have lost all respect for him, he clearly has some major issues to think this is ok behaviour, and especially in his late 50’s.

He has basically ghosted me, as he has disappeared all over but he thinks it’s acceptable because he sent me an email!

Uh No... we are not kids and we were as close as you can get for 6 months. I know everything about him, as he does about me!

 

[ccs29745]

Thank you guys and I’m the same way.

The shocker is that he’d be so cruel to do this to me after seeing me at my lowest and helping me recover. I have lost all respect for him, he clearly has some major issues to think this is ok behaviour, and especially in his late 50’s.

He has basically ghosted me, as he has disappeared all over but he thinks it’s acceptable because he sent me an email!

Uh No... we are not kids and we were as close as you can get for 6 months. I know everything about him, as he does about me!

Mail him a glitter bomb. Should take a few weeks to clean up

 

[DDBustyBrit]

Mail him a glitter bomb. Should take a few weeks to clean up

I like the way you think and that is totally doable to his work, it’s amazing what Amazon sells and I have previously sent him something

Tempting

 

[fitandfresh]

I like the way you think and that is totally doable to his work, it’s amazing what Amazon sells and I have previously sent him something

Tempting

Oh I am sure that you could come up with something.......us brits are made of stronger stuff. I bet he hss read all your posts and responses. His loss is our gain........

 

[Polranny]

I like the way you think and that is totally doable to his work, it’s amazing what Amazon sells and I have previously sent him something

Tempting

He'll be keeping an eye on his post . Shit happens! Lol.

 

[DDBustyBrit]

Oh I am sure that you could come up with something.......us brits are made of stronger stuff. I bet he hss read all your posts and responses. His loss is our gain........

We are so true, but I’m also classy and proud of it. And honestly I don’t think he’s that interested and yes that’s his loss

He'll be keeping an eye on his post . Shit happens! Lol.

Well I have enough to turn his life on it’s head, but like I said and you know this, I’m also classy, loyal and a trustworthy friend. More than he can say

 

[DDBustyBrit]

I think I need to sleep for a week people, I’m so weary and emotionally drained... anyone got good drugs they want to send? And about a dozen tight hugs too

 

[Polranny]

I think I need to sleep for a week people, I’m so weary and emotionally drained... anyone got good drugs they want to send? And about a dozen tight hugs too

Tight hugs certainly. Happy to oblige . (Drugs ...afraid not, never have, don't intend)

 

[tedsbeds]

I think I need to sleep for a week people, I’m so weary and emotionally drained... anyone got good drugs they want to send? And about a dozen tight hugs too

Sending hugs and sweet dreams. I could send you more of what you seek, but don't know where to send it! Nighty night!

 

[Elite_Goblin]

I think I need to sleep for a week people, I’m so weary and emotionally drained... anyone got good drugs they want to send? And about a dozen tight hugs too

I hope you feel better soon. It sucks what happened, but it is his loss. There is something much better for you somewhere out there. Just give it some time. In the meantime, do some special things for yourself.

As to all, sorry that I have not been on much. My main computer died, and I hate typing/using the laptop/phone. It might get fixed this week, but not really sure. Crossing fingers.

 

[MatureChattyMan]

I think I need to sleep for a week people, I’m so weary and emotionally drained... anyone got good drugs they want to send? And about a dozen tight hugs too

Hugs on the way