Have sex with a stranger

[ctbacon]

Howdy, everyone. After 20+ years of marriage I recently found myself in a situation on business trip, with a married woman staying at the same hotel. We ended up in her room. It was fun, but as awkward as being a teenage again (if that's possible). Turns out that over 20+ years of marriage I've become specifically tuned to the "system" that works with my wife. I was at a total loss when faced with a new woman! No idea what she liked, boundaries, etc. In the teen years I prob just went for it without considering my partner's needs, but now I'm an emotionally aware 45 year old

Anyway - has anyone been in this situation? I'm looking for advice on a good way to approach a new woman who you don't know very well. Feedback from ladies would be extra helpful.

 

[Knoturnal]

Howdy, everyone. After 20+ years of marriage I recently found myself in a situation on business trip, with a married woman staying at the same hotel. We ended up in her room. It was fun, but as awkward as being a teenage again (if that's possible). Turns out that over 20+ years of marriage I've become specifically tuned to the "system" that works with my wife. I was at a total loss when faced with a new woman! No idea what she liked, boundaries, etc. In the teen years I prob just went for it without considering my partner's needs, but now I'm an emotionally aware 45 year old

Anyway - has anyone been in this situation? I'm looking for advice on a good way to approach a new woman who you don't know very well. Feedback from ladies would be extra helpful.

Negotiations are a wonderful thing. They teach negotiating these days. I’m sure if you look it up you’ll find information about it.

 

[amofiga]

There was a period in my life when I enjoyed the company of a fair number of different women, most of them married. Fortunately, it was a situation that they TOO were looking for sex with someone else (as the OP's business trip partner seemed to be). I learned after several awkward times that it's best to be upfront about what the other person likes, dislikes, what the boundaries are, etc. If they are also committed to connecting, they won't be scared off and are usually thankful for the opportunity to be open and honest and not be surprised or feel awkward themselves.

 

[Jada59]

You have to ask. If you're uncomfortable using a lot of words, then try two different things and ask which she likes better. Everyone is different and it can take time to find out what another person likes.

 

[Misbehaving123]

Not a teenager anymore

Howdy, everyone. After 20+ years of marriage I recently found myself in a situation on business trip, with a married woman staying at the same hotel. We ended up in her room. It was fun, but as awkward as being a teenage again (if that's possible). Turns out that over 20+ years of marriage I've become specifically tuned to the "system" that works with my wife. I was at a total loss when faced with a new woman! No idea what she liked, boundaries, etc. In the teen years I prob just went for it without considering my partner's needs, but now I'm an emotionally aware 45 year old

Anyway - has anyone been in this situation? I'm looking for advice on a good way to approach a new woman who you don't know very well. Feedback from ladies would be extra helpful.

Remember you aren’t a teenager anymore, while it’s awfully exciting to feel like one you are a 45 year old adult now that knows how to communicate your experiences and your likes and dislikes. Just simply opening the dialogue can do wonders, and be very stimulating as well. Try to stick with what you like, and perhaps elaborate on what you like about her... physically! Women tend to appreciate compliments and being noticed. Maybe even divulge a fantasy or two, never know she may be more into it than you could have ever imagined or even have first hand knowledge of something you’ve only dreamed of. So don’t be shy, open the dialogue! You’ve got nothing to loose!! Good luck and have fun!!

 

[JenniferSimms]

If you ended up in her hotel room there is a pretty good chance she wants to fuck. Whether or not she will go through with it is another question. See how close she will let you sit, whether it is a couch or the bed. You might even suggest watching something on the TV which would put both of you on the bed. Once you are close to her give her a compliment - "You have beautiful eyes" or "You have the best smile" or even "I love your perfume" which allows you to lean closer and sniff. You'll be able to tell right away if she wants to be kissed. Lean in halfway and see how she responds. You'll be able to see it in her eyes. Go slow or you might scare her off.

 

[Elite_Goblin]

Although feeling like a teen, you aren't.
You have lots of good wisdom and experience to lean on.

I would start with some sincere communication, then if/as things turn more serious be open and honest. Affirm that if something feels not-right, it is OK to say "no".

Sounds like it would be alot of fun for both of you! Let us know how it turns out!

 

[CannaGirl]

Howdy, everyone. After 20+ years of marriage I recently found myself in a situation on business trip, with a married woman staying at the same hotel. We ended up in her room. It was fun, but as awkward as being a teenage again (if that's possible). Turns out that over 20+ years of marriage I've become specifically tuned to the "system" that works with my wife. I was at a total loss when faced with a new woman! No idea what she liked, boundaries, etc. In the teen years I prob just went for it without considering my partner's needs, but now I'm an emotionally aware 45 year old

Anyway - has anyone been in this situation? I'm looking for advice on a good way to approach a new woman who you don't know very well. Feedback from ladies would be extra helpful.

Personally, i wish men would just ask about likes and dislikes. We are all adults and i enjoy erotic conversation anyway

 

[Conager]

The likely advantage you had as a teenager was neither of you had any idea what she liked till you figured it out.

I was with one and only one woman for twenty years so I can definitely relate. I was supremely confident that I knew absolutely everything there was to know about sex. Which wwas quite true. For that woman. I had no idea about the wide range of things I hadn't ever considered, like "how deeply located will this next woman's cervix be? Does she like having it jarred, or is that going to end this session?

Because I'm pretty verbal there's generally already been a fair amount of rather specific dirty talk before anyone gets their clothes off. My experience is a reasonable amount of agressiveness is usually appreciated if the talk was about such desires and tepid is more awkward. women are more durable than you might presuppose. If it is to be intense play start on the lower end of the scale, while still being assertive and add more as you see how it is received.

I think the whole awkward fumblings thing is sort of hot. You both know that it's a new person and new by definition is exciting. The old always has trouble competing with the new. It's ok to have an awkward fumbling if it is a lusty fumbling.

Don't over-think it or undercommunicate as you go along. It is ok to point out one's lack of clairvoyance if your new partner is not expressing themselves verbally. Ask "do you like _______ (and optionally) you dirty/sexy/handsome/pretty little/big/crazy/hot girl/slut/whore/dude . .

 

[jchuli]

Treat each random hookup as special

Reading the thread it makes sense that men married and faithful to one woman for years feel like starting fresh on a hookup. But isnt the fun of hookup about discovering a new body, new ways, new styles? I dont want a boyfriend ever as I like to meet new random guys all the time. My sugar daddies are probably the most consistent men I have sex with. But with them too, you meet them maybe once a month so it feels new and fresh everytime. Plus the are always looking to fulfill a new fantasy, so it is feels like a new hookup.

My point is that be open and enjoy. Sex is awesome and the fact that you are in the room with someone about to have fun, be uninhibited and enjoy it.

 

[Gabriel1664]

Loving your attitude

I love your attitude!!!!

Reading the thread it makes sense that men married and faithful to one woman for years feel like starting fresh on a hookup. But isnt the fun of hookup about discovering a new body, new ways, new styles? I dont want a boyfriend ever as I like to meet new random guys all the time. My sugar daddies are probably the most consistent men I have sex with. But with them too, you meet them maybe once a month so it feels new and fresh everytime. Plus the are always looking to fulfill a new fantasy, so it is feels like a new hookup.

My point is that be open and enjoy. Sex is awesome and the fact that you are in the room with someone about to have fun, be uninhibited and enjoy it.

 

[HayleyLuvsSex]

Howdy, everyone. After 20+ years of marriage I recently found myself in a situation on business trip, with a married woman staying at the same hotel. We ended up in her room. It was fun, but as awkward as being a teenage again (if that's possible). Turns out that over 20+ years of marriage I've become specifically tuned to the "system" that works with my wife. I was at a total loss when faced with a new woman! No idea what she liked, boundaries, etc. In the teen years I prob just went for it without considering my partner's needs, but now I'm an emotionally aware 45 year old

Anyway - has anyone been in this situation? I'm looking for advice on a good way to approach a new woman who you don't know very well. Feedback from ladies would be extra helpful.

in my experience, in order to not have that super awkward moment of trying to do something they're not into, hookups with strangers tend to stay pretty standard.

 

[JulieAnn42]

The secret is always communication.

 

[davion2308]

Communication!

It's all about communicating with each other what you like or what you don't like. This can include but is not limited to:

1. Verbal communication - "Yeah, right there. A little harder. To the left. That feels good. Mmmmm."

2. Physical correction - She takes your hand and puts in on a different part of her body. She moves herself to help you get to the right spot. She pushes your (body part) down hard on her (anatomy)

3. Pre-Sex Prep - Ideally, you two are in a bar somewhere, or you're talking before you're fucking and you know she likes getting rimmed or whatever because she was talking about being disappointed the last two guys didn't do it. You set yourself up for what she wants because you actually listened to her.

The scene in the movie where two strangers look at each other and just start fucking and it's awesome probably doesn't work for most us in reality. The best way to get someone in bed is to engagement them emotionally. This is best achieved by talking and listening. Once you're in bed, or the shower or in front of the hotel window or wherever, you'll be more successful.

Talk it out. It's fun to talk it out.

 

[imready2]

Reading the thread it makes sense that men married and faithful to one woman for years feel like starting fresh on a hookup. But isnt the fun of hookup about discovering a new body, new ways, new styles? I dont want a boyfriend ever as I like to meet new random guys all the time. My sugar daddies are probably the most consistent men I have sex with. But with them too, you meet them maybe once a month so it feels new and fresh everytime. Plus the are always looking to fulfill a new fantasy, so it is feels like a new hookup.

My point is that be open and enjoy. Sex is awesome and the fact that you are in the room with someone about to have fun, be uninhibited and enjoy it.

I agree wholeheartedly. “...the fun of hookup about discovering a new body, new ways, new styles?”

 

[Ramone45]

I'm considering an affair but I'm afraid of bringing home an STD. I've been monogamous. There are a lot of people fucking out there. What are the real risks?

 

[Ramone45]

I'm considering an affair but I'm afraid of bringing home an STD. I've been monogamous. There are a lot of people fucking out there. What are the real risks?

 

[jehoram]

I'm considering an affair but I'm afraid of bringing home an STD. I've been monogamous. There are a lot of people fucking out there. What are the real risks?

Is there an echo in here?

I think that a search for "STD" will give you what you need to know. In particular, go to the websites for Planned Parenthood and the Center for Disease Control ... they probably have the most up-to-date information for your area.

 

[htester]

I'm considering an affair but I'm afraid of bringing home an STD. I've been monogamous. There are a lot of people fucking out there. What are the real risks?

#1, safe sex. Wrap it up. Get tested frequently.
#2, let your @home partner know. Even with condoms there are risks. If you're afraid of endangering him/her, Don't. Or at least let them know what you're up to so they can protect themselves i.e. do they need to do annual exams they stopped doing and make informed decisions how to maintain a safe sex life with you if you're seeing partners outside the relationship --
#3, if you're fucking outside the relationship and don't want your partner to know, shit always hits the fan, so identify why you want to do it and if you really need to do it. If you do it, don't be a dick, warn your partner so they can stay safe.