Seeking a cyber Dom.

[onefourall]

My married sex life is gone totally stale as my wife has little or no interest in sex. When I'm really frustrated she'll lie on her back and let me eat her pussy until she cums and then she watches me Jack off. Over the last number of years I've become very submissive and I'm hoping someone on here might take control of our married sex life and maybe reawaken my wife's hunger for sex. I promise I'd do what ever they'd ask, not Jack off, refuse my wife sex if she came looking for it and wear whatever they requested me to wear. I'd also try and get my wife to comply with their instructions.

If you think you could help me please pm me.

 

[KimGordon67]

Bit confusing ... are you looking for a dom or a domme? For you or for your wife ... or for both of you?

 

[onefourall]

Bit confusing ... are you looking for a dom or a domme? For you or for your wife ... or for both of you?

Apologies for the confusing post, I suppose I'm looking for a dom for myself but that said I willing to give the control of our married sex life to another person. Obviously my wife will have no knowledge of our agreement, at least not at the start.

If you'd like to control the sex life of a married couple in their late forties get in touch.

Hopefully what I'm looking for is a wee bit clearer.

 

[Daddyshand]

I can only assume that your wife is craving dominance as well and your submissiveness doesn't turn her on. Are you at all interested in taking control of your own sex life?

 

[Daddyshand]

That was a serious question, I didn't intend on it to come off so harsh.

 

[onefourall]

I've really encouraged my wife to be more sexual but she shows no interest what's so ever. Maybe she's submissive too but she won't discuss it. I've been in control of our sex life for over 20 years and I've had varied success but recently it's got very boring, sex maybe every two weeks.

I appreciate you interest btw

 

[KimGordon67]

Apologies for the confusing post, I suppose I'm looking for a dom for myself but that said I willing to give the control of our married sex life to another person. Obviously my wife will have no knowledge of our agreement, at least not at the start.

If you'd like to control the sex life of a married couple in their late forties get in touch.

Hopefully what I'm looking for is a wee bit clearer.

Not sure if this is directed specifically to me, but I'm a woman - you're looking for a dom, so I won't work.

But, for what it's worth, it sounds like you're wanting a dom who will effectively dominate your wife, through the mechanism of 'dominating' you, but without her consent. That sounds a little ... well, non-consensual, really.

A couple of other things - have you actually talked to her about this, or even about your sex lives in general. And secondly, after twenty years, 'every couple of weeks' is not that unusual. It's only really a problem if your respective libido's are not in sync, but it's not a flaw in your wife that needs to be 'fixed' - it's just a mismatch between the two of you. You should definitely talk about it though - there might be some way of getting to a point that works for both of you.

 

[Daddyshand]

We went through a similar phase a few years ago. Between work, kids and everything else we put us on the back burner so long that we didn't really know each other anymore. I used to hold it against her that I was the only one that seemed to want sex. Well...after I stepped back and looked at it I realized that I wasn't doing a lot to turn her on either.

I had heard of dom/sub relationships but we were hardly kinky and theres no way I thought she was hiding anything like that from me. But once again I looked at what I was afraid to tell her and thought it was worth looking into. I spent the next week looking up everything I could bdsm related and the more I read about dom/sub relationships the more I wanted to try it, only I was more interested in the relationship end of it.

D/S for us started as a fairly pg thing and was more focused on me providing for her so she would want to provide for me and it went both ways, the more she did for me the more I wanted to show my appreciation. I know that sounds simple but at that point we needed it and it has worked. Though we have tried several different things, we are currently more of a Ddlg thing with S&m tendencies it has the same baseline.

Spell it out for her and see what she says. If she has no interest in showing appreciation whether sexual or not maybe an online dom isn't the person you should be looking to talk to.

 

[Daddyshand]

Not sure if this is directed specifically to me, but I'm a woman - you're looking for a dom, so I won't work.

But, for what it's worth, it sounds like you're wanting a dom who will effectively dominate your wife, through the mechanism of 'dominating' you, but without her consent. That sounds a little ... well, non-consensual, really.

A couple of other things - have you actually talked to her about this, or even about your sex lives in general. And secondly, after twenty years, 'every couple of weeks' is not that unusual. It's only really a problem if your respective libido's are not in sync, but it's not a flaw in your wife that needs to be 'fixed' - it's just a mismatch between the two of you. You should definitely talk about it though - there might be some way of getting to a point that works for both of you.

I think you beat me to it. Lol

 

[onefourall]

Thanks for all your advice, I have tried talking to my wife about our sex life but she refused to engage. I'll try again and hopefully I might be more successful this time. Just for the record, I'd never make my wife do anything she's not comfortable with.

Thanks all.

 

[MrMikelobe1952]

Thanks for all your advice, I have tried talking to my wife about our sex life but she refused to engage. I'll try again and hopefully I might be more successful this time. Just for the record, I'd never make my wife do anything she's not comfortable with.

Thanks all.

The difficult but essential thing to do is to find a way to talk about it that does not sound like you are criticizing her or complaining.
I'm not sure I am that good at figuring out how to do that, but something like "Would it be more fun if we...." might work.

 

[Daddyshand]

As cheesey as it feels to do it and as much as you know you want her, women tend to melt when you let them know you're thinking about them. Just take that a step further and text her at work that her ass looked so good in a certain pair of jeans that morning and you cant stop thinking about it. Test the waters at first but tell her you want her to wear that pair of jeans next time you go somewhere. Make it fit you though, she may not have an ass, lol.

 

[KimGordon67]

As cheesey as it feels to do it and as much as you know you want her, women tend to melt when you let them know you're thinking about them. Just take that a step further and text her at work that her ass looked so good in a certain pair of jeans good that morning and you cant stop thinking about it. Test the waters at first but tell her you want her to wear that pair of jeans next time you go somewhere. Make it fit you though, she may not have an ass, lol.

This is actually good advice - most everyone (not just women) respond favourably to positive comments and compliments. Even if they dismiss them, they usually *feel* good to have heard that. (This is coming from someone who's absolutely terrible at taking a compliment.) Case in point - I sometimes stay at my ex's and we go to social events together (long story). I have pretty much no sexual interest in him whatsoever, but the other week I was getting ready to go somewhere and I'd just had quite a radical hair cut. I jokingly asked him how I looked and he said 'great - that top's really nice on your' and I said 'no, it's the HAIR I'm worried about', and he said 'the hair's the best bit'. We were sort of joking, but not entirely, and I just glowed for the rest of the evening. Well, until he drank to much and starting vomiting, but that's another story. You may need to do it more than a couple of times, especially if you're not the habit of saying nice to things to each other (and often we aren't after a long time together). But assuming she's not 23 any more, she probably feels a little unconfident about her appearance. And there's nothing worse that lacking that confidence for making you feel incredibly unsexy, and hence not very interested in sex. (This will be exacerbated if she's put on weight at all - I'm so nervous about getting naked around anyone now.)