LITEROTICA PODCAST
LIT CAMS (200 Free Tokens)ADULT TOYSVOD MOVIES

Sexless Marriages

BooksNBrawn said:
Thanks Brit, I'd shared before in another sexless marriage thread... Here's what I wrote there:

"18 months sexless here, before that it was maybe once per year for a few years, before that 6 months...etc... She was divorced when we married, my first wife passed away (breast cancer). She finally admitted that he thinks sex is disgusting. After talking about this over and over and over and over...I'm sure others can relate, I decided to leave and had a plan for be ready to move out this past March. Well February comes and we find out she has late stage colon cancer, they did a biopsy and that showed that it's not affected by current chemo treatments, at least not enough to make it work the misery. Only the oldest would work at all, and that one won't do much. Also the largest tumor is at the intersection of three nerve bundles and three arteries, making it non-operable.

So now I'm staying, at least for the time being.

Doesn't make the relationship better, but I have to be able to live with myself."

It has been a few more months since I posted that, and the cancer is getting more severe. It's a difficult thing for the obvious reason that my partner is dying. Then there's the fact that she is not a very nice person to begin with and that gets amplified with the discomfort.

I feel bad complaining when I chose this and knew it wouldn't be easy.
Click to expand...

Twice?! You had to go tbrough this hell two times. That's hard even once, but second time, when you already know how it is going to be :(

I know this is not the right time to talk about this with your wife, but is there any chance that if you talked about this years ago she would have wanted you to have somebody on the side?

My dad died when he was 54, my mother-in-law died in her mid 50s. Both of cancer. So we know that there is a good chance that one of us will eventually be in this situation. I don't know if he remembers it, but few years after we got married we talked about this and I told my husband that if I am to go first, I don't want him to stay alone. And I don't want him to wait for me to die either, he can and he should find somebody on the side if I change enough not to be the wife that he needs. It does not mean that I want to know about it, but I wanted to make sure that in this situation he does not feel any guilt.

Is there any chance that your wife might be thinking about this the same way? You will have to decide this on your own, you can't just ask her now, but if everything you know about her suggests that she might be thinking about fidelity the same way, just go for it. It is not your fault and neither is hers, but if you feel better having a lady friend, you will be able to better support your wife as well.
 
AnnieLit said:
Twice?! You had to go tbrough this hell two times. That's hard even once, but second time, when you already know how it is going to be :(

I know this is not the right time to talk about this with your wife, but is there any chance that if you talked about this years ago she would have wanted you to have somebody on the side?

My dad died when he was 54, my mother-in-law died in her mid 50s. Both of cancer. So we know that there is a good chance that one of us will eventually be in this situation. I don't know if he remembers it, but few years after we got married we talked about this and I told my husband that if I am to go first, I don't want him to stay alone. And I don't want him to wait for me to die either, he can and he should find somebody on the side if I change enough not to be the wife that he needs. It does not mean that I want to know about it, but I wanted to make sure that in this situation he does not feel any guilt.

Is there any chance that your wife might be thinking about this the same way? You will have to decide this on your own, you can't just ask her now, but if everything you know about her suggests that she might be thinking about fidelity the same way, just go for it. It is not your fault and neither is hers, but if you feel better having a lady friend, you will be able to better support your wife as well.
Click to expand...

We’ve not had much intimacy for a long time, She believes sex is always wrong...unless you’re actively trying to have children. We’ve had tons of conversations about this and why she acted very sexual before we married only to completely flip(on many things, not just sex) right after we got married. I actually was in no condition to marry when we did, because my first wife was the best friend I’ve ever had and losing her was completely devastating.

I’ve joked about finding someone outside our marriage and she found no humor in that at all.

I had talked to her about leaving the marriage and had a loose plan in place when we found out about the cancer.
 
BooksNBrawn said:
We’ve not had much intimacy for a long time, She believes sex is always wrong...unless you’re actively trying to have children. We’ve had tons of conversations about this and why she acted very sexual before we married only to completely flip(on many things, not just sex) right after we got married. I actually was in no condition to marry when we did, because my first wife was the best friend I’ve ever had and losing her was completely devastating.

I’ve joked about finding someone outside our marriage and she found no humor in that at all.

I had talked to her about leaving the marriage and had a loose plan in place when we found out about the cancer.
Click to expand...

My sincere sympathies for your situation, it makes what most of us here deal with seem trivial. For anyone to have to go through cancer with two wives is just heartbreaking.

Btw I have the same experience with things changing after we married. I look forward to getting to know you better. I hope this group proves supportive and helpful to you :rose:
 
Last edited:
BooksNBrawn said:
Thanks Brit, I'd shared before in another sexless marriage thread... Here's what I wrote there:

"18 months sexless here, before that it was maybe once per year for a few years, before that 6 months...etc... She was divorced when we married, my first wife passed away (breast cancer). She finally admitted that he thinks sex is disgusting. After talking about this over and over and over and over...I'm sure others can relate, I decided to leave and had a plan for be ready to move out this past March. Well February comes and we find out she has late stage colon cancer, they did a biopsy and that showed that it's not affected by current chemo treatments, at least not enough to make it work the misery. Only the oldest would work at all, and that one won't do much. Also the largest tumor is at the intersection of three nerve bundles and three arteries, making it non-operable.

So now I'm staying, at least for the time being.

Doesn't make the relationship better, but I have to be able to live with myself."

It has been a few more months since I posted that, and the cancer is getting more severe. It's a difficult thing for the obvious reason that my partner is dying. Then there's the fact that she is not a very nice person to begin with and that gets amplified with the discomfort.

I feel bad complaining when I chose this and knew it wouldn't be easy.
Click to expand...

Complain all you want. We will listen, support, give advice if want it. Sound like a strong willed guy. Hang in there
 
BooksNBrawn said:
We’ve not had much intimacy for a long time, She believes sex is always wrong...unless you’re actively trying to have children. We’ve had tons of conversations about this and why she acted very sexual before we married only to completely flip(on many things, not just sex) right after we got married. I actually was in no condition to marry when we did, because my first wife was the best friend I’ve ever had and losing her was completely devastating.

I’ve joked about finding someone outside our marriage and she found no humor in that at all.

I had talked to her about leaving the marriage and had a loose plan in place when we found out about the cancer.
Click to expand...

Wow. I am sorry for your troubles, but really need to offer my support for going through this twice. You've taken on an incredible burden. I commend you for sticking with these women through thick and thin. I do know what it is like to stand by your partner in tough situations, so I can sympathize all too well. Be strong and do look after yourself.
 
TTawhere said:
Wow. I am sorry for your troubles, but really need to offer my support for going through this twice. You've taken on an incredible burden. I commend you for sticking with these women through thick and thin. I do know what it is like to stand by your partner in tough situations, so I can sympathize all too well. Be strong and do look after yourself.
Click to expand...

My wife stood by me over a major issue, not health related. I m sure the withdrawal of sex is a partial punishment for being a prick
 
What the heck? Silence all day?!

Did y’all get lucky today! Or what?

C’os I sure didn’t, even virtually 🙄
 
Last edited:
None here for me either.

Probably could have, if I asked for it. However, I get tired of the "asking for it" business. So, I am on strike.
It's like I am living with a "friends with benefits", but without the benefits. :)

It is not so bad, though. I am not letting her hold something above my head, instead I'm doing what I want a little more. (like I should). Got my earrings in, wearing my cool necklace, hair growing out, working out, gearing up for possible nipple piercing next month...Yeah, it's me time!

I think she is wondering/curious about what I am up to, or why (or who) am I doing this for. Well, #1 for me, and #2 for someone that might be interested. (preferably her or ?)
 
Do others feel guilty about giving up? How long/ many times do you have to try? If she offered to be intimate I think I might say no. Not that I don’t love her or desire her but because I don’t want to keep opening those wounds.
 
philos said:
Do others feel guilty about giving up? How long/ many times do you have to try? If she offered to be intimate I think I might say no. Not that I don’t love her or desire her but because I don’t want to keep opening those wounds.
Click to expand...

I dont feel guilty about giving up. I get pissed off with being rejected. It's now got to a stage that I think we're shadow boxing so although I love her she can just get on with it and so will I in different rooms
 
We used to have an amazing sex life but mine started a business and now spends his energies on growing it and making money. When we do have sex, which isn't often, he climbs on, does his thing and climbs off and either leaves or goes to sleep....:confused:
 
xxkimberlyv said:
We used to have an amazing sex life but mine started a business and now spends his energies on growing it and making money. When we do have sex, which isn't often, he climbs on, does his thing and climbs off and either leaves or goes to sleep....:confused:
Click to expand...

Sorry to hear this, I understand he wants to be successful but he's not the only person involved in the marriage. Have you talked to him about this?
 
Mtnmike said:
Sorry to hear this, I understand he wants to be successful but he's not the only person involved in the marriage. Have you talked to him about this?
Click to expand...

Yes I have talked with him about him ignoring my needs. He says he will do better and it is still the same as before.
 
philos said:
Do others feel guilty about giving up? How long/ many times do you have to try? If she offered to be intimate I think I might say no. Not that I don’t love her or desire her but because I don’t want to keep opening those wounds.
Click to expand...

I will admit I did feel guilty the 1st 6-7 years but about 5 years ago I just quit trying. Never like she ever initiated it after the kids anyway, so why even try. She did offer 1 time years ago but I said no and have never regretted it !!!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

Random_NPC
Seeking the somewhat impossible
Replies
0
Views
147
Random_NPC
Random_NPC
66dart
M4F Looking to chat in Connecticut
Replies
2
Views
237
Lilycece
Lilycece
W
Kinky, freaky and fun m4f
Replies
2
Views
333
HotWifeOC
H
M
Louisville, KY?
Replies
4
Views
371
marriedandlonely46
M
NoUseForAnyName
Looking for an online-only fwb (all genders welcome)
Replies
2
Views
279
NoUseForAnyName
NoUseForAnyName
Back
Top