On the way home

[frandessop]

https://www.literotica.com/s/on-the-way-home-7

Different style.

 

[Hypoxia]

Wall of text. Many many adjectives. I couldn't read very far. Regrets.

 

[LesDesirable]

lovely great wide open smile
gorgeous pointed dark nipples
delicious body
cute and sexy,
thick hard cock
solid cock
rampant thick hard cock
swollen throbbing cock
dripping wet pussy
all natural curves
dark brown shoulder length hair
stunning green eyes
beautiful classic hour glass figure at a size twelve
bouncing handful of busty beauties
plush hairy bush
eager pussy
long hot sweaty night
perfect tits
tight wet pussy
thick creamy sticky juice
gorgeous throbbing tingly feeling
adorable wet hairy cunt
red hot soaking wet cunt
dripping wet greedy little cunt
musky male spray-on fragrance
fairly smartly dressed
quite short, slim
late thirties

Perhaps you could have described her mouth and lips more vividly. I am uncertain if they were lush, thick, pouty, deep, painted, wide, wet, or just a normal everyday plain Jane mouth and lips.

When people tell you about overblown description, this is what they are talking about. This is a fast sex encounter in an alley with a voyeur in attendance. About 50% of the story is just words that try to make everything seem hotter, but just make me laugh, because words for words sake do not make a story hot, they make it longer without adding to the experience.

 

[frandessop]

Fun

It is all good simple fun. I am no writer.
However, thanks for taking the time of day.
Fran

lovely great wide open smile
gorgeous pointed dark nipples
delicious body
cute and sexy,
thick hard cock
solid cock
rampant thick hard cock
swollen throbbing cock
dripping wet pussy
all natural curves
dark brown shoulder length hair
stunning green eyes
beautiful classic hour glass figure at a size twelve
bouncing handful of busty beauties
plush hairy bush
eager pussy
long hot sweaty night
perfect tits
tight wet pussy
thick creamy sticky juice
gorgeous throbbing tingly feeling
adorable wet hairy cunt
red hot soaking wet cunt
dripping wet greedy little cunt
musky male spray-on fragrance
fairly smartly dressed
quite short, slim
late thirties

Perhaps you could have described her mouth and lips more vividly. I am uncertain if they were lush, thick, pouty, deep, painted, wide, wet, or just a normal everyday plain Jane mouth and lips.

When people tell you about overblown description, this is what they are talking about. This is a fast sex encounter in an alley with a voyeur in attendance. About 50% of the story is just words that try to make everything seem hotter, but just make me laugh, because words for words sake do not make a story hot, they make it longer without adding to the experience.

 

[frandessop]

Oh well

Perhaps I should use click bait.
Words are words, they mean different things to different people.
Yes the format only offers a wall of text.
Adjectives are descriptive.
Well... thanks for even taking the time to reply.
Fran

Wall of text. Many many adjectives. I couldn't read very far. Regrets.

 

[KeithD]

Perhaps I should use click bait.
Words are words, they mean different things to different people.
Yes the format only offers a wall of text.
Adjectives are descriptive.
Well... thanks for even taking the time to reply.
Fran

Well, no, you, the author, control the length of your paragraphs--and how many adjectives you use.

What was the "click bait" comment supposed to mean?

 

[frandessop]

Haha

I'm a scribbler not an author.
Click bait, just fun reference to lure people.
No malice. I guess that I am not all that serious.
Had not pegged Lit for being so academic.
All comments are accepted.

 

[gordo12]

Academic hmmmm

People are here to WRITE.

A wall of text like the story you present is undesirable and unreadable. Many are using small screens or the lit app. Your writing format would make that unbearable. Endless scrolling.

Your first paragraph could have been broken up into 3-4 sections.

You've been here since 2009 surely you've seen some of the stories and the formats used?

Or...maybe I should write it so you can understand it.Academic hmmmm People are here to WRITE.A wall of text like the story you present is undesirable and unreadable. Many are using small screens or the lit app. Your writing format would make that unbearable. Endless scrolling.Your first paragraph could have been broken up into 3-4 sections.You've been here since 2009 surely you've seen some of the stories and the formats used? Better?

 

[gordo12]

And now let's deal with what you posted:

It's a close copy (perhaps identical) to something I've read before. I can't remember the story, but the leaving the pub scene, getting fucked, the stranger watching, was only a part of it.

If you're claiming ownership I'm sure you have the link to the story it came from.

 

[frandessop]

Opinion

I hear what you say.
I only have 4 stories. All submitted in good faith.
Several formats used and rejected, until editors
have accepted the text.
I prefer to space things out, use italics, more comma's,
and break phrasing and paragraphs.
I am not looking for perfection. And I do write.
Be useful if editors gave quick feedback why a particular
story gets rejected and why.
But hey... it's not the worst.
And it is getting a lot of views... a LOT.
Cheers

Academic hmmmm

People are here to WRITE.

A wall of text like the story you present is undesirable and unreadable. Many are using small screens or the lit app. Your writing format would make that unbearable. Endless scrolling.

Your first paragraph could have been broken up into 3-4 sections.

You've been here since 2009 surely you've seen some of the stories and the formats used?

Or...maybe I should write it so you can understand it.Academic hmmmm People are here to WRITE.A wall of text like the story you present is undesirable and unreadable. Many are using small screens or the lit app. Your writing format would make that unbearable. Endless scrolling.Your first paragraph could have been broken up into 3-4 sections.You've been here since 2009 surely you've seen some of the stories and the formats used? Better?

 

[gordo12]

Be useful if editors gave quick feedback why a particular
story gets rejected and why.
But hey... it's not the worst.
And it is getting a lot of views... a LOT.
Cheers

There is ONE editor and she has to read all the stories for each day. I'd guess around 150-200/day. So it can be hit or miss. She doesn't have time for feedback you need to get it right. And 5000 views in 24 hours isn't a lot here.

20,000 30,000 is more like it.

 

[ElectricBlue]

There is ONE editor and she has to read all the stories for each day. I'd guess around 150-200/day. So it can be hit or miss. She doesn't have time for feedback you need to get it right. And 5000 views in 24 hours isn't a lot here.

20,000 30,000 is more like it.

Depends on category. LW and Incest, maybe. Other categories are slower - 5000 in a day is a pretty good turnout.

 

[KeithD]

Depends on category. LW and Incest, maybe. Other categories are slower - 5000 in a day is a pretty good turnout.

5,000 views/day is a hell of a lot of views in the GM category.

 

[frandessop]

Thanks

I think so... and that's what counts. Thank you.

Depends on category. LW and Incest, maybe. Other categories are slower - 5000 in a day is a pretty good turnout.

 

[frandessop]

Thank you

Thank you. I think so too.

5,000 views/day is a hell of a lot of views in the GM category.

 

[gordo12]

5,000 views/day is a hell of a lot of views in the GM category.

So come over to the LW darkside

 

[KeithD]

So come over to the LW darkside

In other accounts, yes.

 

[frandessop]

Star Wars?

In other accounts, yes.

Is he talking about Darth Vader?

Not far from 7k this morning 4*. Happy.

 

[KeithD]

Is he talking about Darth Vader?

Not far from 7k this morning 4*. Happy.

No, he's talking about an alligator pit category.

 

[frandessop]

No, he's talking about an alligator pit category.

That figures... he comes across as a bit of an alligator. Sounds scary, thanks.

 

[Jada59]

Yikes-a-roni! Sorry. At least you made paragraphs but they seemed rather random. The rest of it? I got lost in a blur of words. There was no real story. At least it was short so I didn't suffer for a long time.

 

[frandessop]

Fun

Yikes-a-roni! Sorry. At least you made paragraphs but they seemed rather random. The rest of it? I got lost in a blur of words. There was no real story. At least it was short so I didn't suffer for a long time.

Glad you did not suffer, and that you appear to have a sense of humour.

I told my friend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.