Sexless Marriages

[ccs29745]

Oh, you mean temperature! For a moment I was thinking shit, an overnight orgy

2's my limit. Lol. Prefer one, but 2 that I can have my way with is nice. I just prefer one so I can my undivided attention to.

 

[Vitriolhack]

Oh, you mean temperature! For a moment I was thinking shit, an overnight orgy

Yeah counting orgies in Fahrenheit sound better that Canadian Celsius 0 and -10!

 

[DDBustyBrit]

Yeah counting orgies in Fahrenheit sound better that Canadian Celsius 0 and -10!

yeh that wouldn’t be much of an orgy

 

[Polranny]

Yeah counting orgies in Fahrenheit sound better that Canadian Celsius 0 and -10!

-10 would be with Mrs Palmer and her 5 daughters! Hands on !!

 

[Jujubeans64]

In mid 50's and although hubby has the thoughts, unfortunately hes not able to perform.... he allows me to play elsewhere as long as I'm discreet and careful.

 

[Vitriolhack]

-10 would be with Mrs Palmer and her 5 daughters! Hands on !!

Mrs Palmer?

Sorry, I am not getting the reference.

 

[spurtman]

Mrs Palmer?

Sorry, I am not getting the reference.

Vitriol -- Mrs. Palmer = "Rosey" Palmer . . . . . sometimes goes by the name "Fistina." Get it now?

 

[Mtnmike]

In mid 50's and although hubby has the thoughts, unfortunately hes not able to perform.... he allows me to play elsewhere as long as I'm discreet and careful.

Glad you have an understanding husband, hope you're getting what you need

 

[DDBustyBrit]

In mid 50's and although hubby has the thoughts, unfortunately hes not able to perform.... he allows me to play elsewhere as long as I'm discreet and careful.

I wish I could get to an arrangement like you have in place. I’m happy for you this is working. But question... what if you emotionally attach to one of them, have you discussed that too?

 

[carcollector]

Question for you

I am totally in a sexless marriage and have been pretty much for a few years! We’re out there but we are a bit like unicorns

I am a woman in her 50’s with the sex drive of an 18 yr old boy, that’s not normal I’ve been told by female friends the same age and male friends. I should be settling down for my old age with my hormones dying a slow death, but hell no!

I am a male with your exact situation. I have tried talking to my wife regarding this situation but she actually gets mad when I bring sex up. Do you have a similar problem?

 

[Elite_Goblin]

I think a few of us do.

I have been cherishing the seconds that I get to see my wife bare-breasted as she is either getting ready for bed or for work. I simply love her body, but it is mostly off limits most of the time. It is really ashame that such a hot body is uncaring towards foreplay.

Yea, birthdays are typically sexless, anniversaries are about 50% success rate. Pretty darn frustrating.

I do get the vanilla version once every week or 2. As another guy mentioned, it is often seen as an obligation or chore. Just enough so your man does not have an excuse for something deemed stupid. I am to slap the lube on and go. No foreplay. No licking those lovely nipples or muff. Let's not even hint at a BJ unless you want to be turned down and lose the mood.

VR porn helps a good bit, but it does not allow me the pleasure of feeling a woman's warm bosum, or me making her arch her back by pleasing her.

If a bowl is empty for very long, it will be filled by something. My bowl is empty!

 

[Vitriolhack]

Vitriol -- Mrs. Palmer = "Rosey" Palmer . . . . . sometimes goes by the name "Fistina." Get it now?

LOL....OK, I'll blame the lack of sleep.

 

[mrh614]

From the other side

I'm coming at this from the other side of things. I'm a single guy - I have a romantic interest, but she's not available for a relationship for several reasons. In the mean time, I've found a "friend" who's in a sexless marriage. Hubs doesn't know, but we get together once a week or so - sometimes just for bedroom fun, but often just to enjoy each other's company (but usually end up in the bedroom). Occasionally she's able to spend the night depending on what's going on at home.

Not sure why I'm sharing, but thought I'd add a different perspective for those that are in this situation. I don't feel bad about it - I know I'm giving her something he's not. She was just fed up with the lack of intimacy between them anymore. That probably isn't the right solution for everyone, but it is an option. Hopefully all of you find something that keeps you happy!

 

[ccs29745]

I'm coming at this from the other side of things. I'm a single guy - I have a romantic interest, but she's not available for a relationship for several reasons. In the mean time, I've found a "friend" who's in a sexless marriage. He doesn't know, but we get together once a week or so - sometimes just for bedroom fun, but often just to enjoy each other's company (but usually end up in the bedroom). Occasionally she's able to spend the night depending on what's going on at home.

Not sure why I'm sharing, but thought I'd add a different perspective for those that are in this situation. I don't feel bad about it - I know I'm giving her something he's not. She was just fed up with the lack of intimacy between them anymore. That probably isn't the right solution for everyone, but it is an option. Hopefully all of you find something that keeps you happy!

All perspectives are welcomed.

 

[DDBustyBrit]

I am a male with your exact situation. I have tried talking to my wife regarding this situation but she actually gets mad when I bring sex up. Do you have a similar problem?

Basically yes...

We have not discussed it for at least 8 months, for a long time I found enough satisfaction with my now Ex here, so I just let it go. And now after splitting with him in early August, I formed an even better relationship with someone else here. It’s just a matter of logistics before he and I take this relationship into real life. He is an even more sexless marriage than I am and for significantly longer. We are also both at a point in our lives we have decided our situations can’t go on indefinitely, so we shall see what develops.

When I have tried to talk to the spouse we rapidly escalate to an argument and I hate confrontation. I have even said in the heat of the moment “do you want me to take a lover?” He says no but nothing changes and even if he did, we are not well matched sexually.

So I do find myself in the situation you are in. I would much rather I could be open about my needs and go take care of them safely and discretely. But I’m not sure he could cope with the reality of that if I did it. And I live in an area where everyone knows everyone, so a local affair would never work.

I may get to the point though where I can’t lie anymore. I am an implicitly open and honest person in every other area of my life. So this goes against everything in me, I’d much rather just have him know and be able to meet my lover when we can, at least without the deception on my side.

My other half here however has the same demons he’s fighting with deception and that will never happen for him.

What I want to know is how all these hot people with high sex drives end up in this situation? Canada & I are both attractive, smart, intellectual and sexy with crazy high sex drives, thank God for Lit or we’d go crazy!

 

[mrdiscreetshh]

Mine is on and off. Longest we go is a month or 2, but wow some men in here having had sex with their wives in years?!?
I wonder if sexless marriages have hidden affairs here and there to satisfy cravings or urges.
I mean you can't just be dead inside right??? I'm sure both people are lost in a fantasy world of theirs.

 

[cosmic264]

Just got out of a sexless marriage, We were together for 18yrs, everything was great until she got breast cancer . that was 12 yrs ago. I did the right thing hung in there with her and dealt with it. After 2 yrs no sex I asked if we could maybe see a counselor or something, she would have none of it. Every time I tried anything I would get the Ice Queen cold shoulder. I did everything she wanted to do went everywhere she wanted always trying to make her happy. When I tried to talk about her maybe helping me out a bit she just laughed. Now I understood the changes in her after the Double Mast and histr. She had no drive at all no hormones nothing. I always went along but 3 yrs ago i asked if she would mind if I got a Flesh Light, she said if I brought one of those in the house she would leave. I said look I understand and deal with your issues why can't you consider mine? Answer was Deal with it. There was alot more and we actually never fought, yelling, screaming that sort but I just had enough of the one way street. That was 3yrs ago and I moved down stairs to the finished basement and for the most part turned into a porn addict. a yr ago she said I can't live this way anymore I said welcome to the club I've been at it for about 9yrs. With that she left thank god, haven't spoken to her since, the lawyers handled it all and I am free . Trouble is at my age I wasn't supposed to be alone. Moral of the story, I did the right thing for years for the wrong women.

 

[Vitriolhack]

I'm coming at this from the other side of things. I'm a single guy - I have a romantic interest, but she's not available for a relationship for several reasons. In the mean time, I've found a "friend" who's in a sexless marriage. Hubs doesn't know, but we get together once a week or so - sometimes just for bedroom fun, but often just to enjoy each other's company (but usually end up in the bedroom). Occasionally she's able to spend the night depending on what's going on at home.

Not sure why I'm sharing, but thought I'd add a different perspective for those that are in this situation. I don't feel bad about it - I know I'm giving her something he's not. She was just fed up with the lack of intimacy between them anymore. That probably isn't the right solution for everyone, but it is an option. Hopefully all of you find something that keeps you happy!

Well, as long as no one is getting hurt, all is fine.

Unless I am missing something, you are not saying if her husband is ok with it? Maybe he is?

Thanks for sharing.

V.

 

[mrh614]

Well, as long as no one is getting hurt, all is fine.

Unless I am missing something, you are not saying if her husband is ok with it? Maybe he is?

Thanks for sharing.

V.

He is unaware (and perhaps uninterested?). I don't know the full background, but he has a very low libido. She told me in all of 2019 they've had sex exactly twice. She was tired of always having to initiate and being rebuked when she did.

To be honest, from my perspective it could be a bit of a turn on if he did know. But my personality isn't such that I would feel super comfortable talking it to a bull/cuck level or anything. For now I just know I have a willing and interested partner and we're enjoying the process of getting to know one another in many different ways.

There's a little more to the story, but it's not my story to tell. Just thought I'd offer a different perspective in case someone needed to hear it.

 

[curly1]

From what I can tell after being here awhile and chatting to others, we make up the majority in here!! It always amazes me how so many of us in our 40’s & 50’s eventually find ourselves in this situation

You’re in the right place!

Amen brother

 

[Vitriolhack]

He is unaware (and perhaps uninterested?). I don't know the full background, but he has a very low libido. She told me in all of 2019 they've had sex exactly twice. She was tired of always having to initiate and being rebuked when she did.

To be honest, from my perspective it could be a bit of a turn on if he did know. But my personality isn't such that I would feel super comfortable talking it to a bull/cuck level or anything. For now I just know I have a willing and interested partner and we're enjoying the process of getting to know one another in many different ways.

There's a little more to the story, but it's not my story to tell. Just thought I'd offer a different perspective in case someone needed to hear it.

if you find the right guy to screw your wife, I think it could be symbiotic relationship!

 

[guns444]

Well it's my birthday coming up this week,only thing I ask for last few years is to 69, and it hasn't happened the last 2, wondering if this will be the year.....not holding my breath

 

[DDBustyBrit]

Well it's my birthday coming up this week,only thing I ask for last few years is to 69, and it hasn't happened the last 2, wondering if this will be the year.....not holding my breath

Yeh I Wouldn’t be holding my breath either, my spouse don’t like oral, either way!! He forgot to tell me that before he got a ring on my finger, I could probably sue him for something!

 

[WillJ8787]

Busty - "What I want to know is how all these hot people with high sex drives end up in this situation? Canada & I are both attractive, smart, intellectual and sexy with crazy high sex drives"

Well, this is the million $$$ question for all of us here.

IMO... 1. no training really exists in having relationships. Most of us don't go to see a relationship coach or therapist until we are having trouble in a relationship and often after we are married and in trouble. This is a bit shocking to me even though I did it too.

2. Confluent- I suffer from this. "Too easy going and goes along to get along," "Doesn't like confrontation or to rock the relationship boat." "doesn't know how to ask for what one wants before, during and after the relationship" ---I am guilty of this in the past.

3. We all make relationship mistakes! So don't be so hard on yourself! None of us are perfect - that goes especially for me. Relationships are an opportunity to grow so move toward growth as best one can. This comes with an awareness that my first and longest relationship(marriage) was not ideal for me. Also, that I change over time and what wasn't important early on is now so very important that I am now ready to ask for what I want and end the relationship because it now is a deal breaker.

Cheers all and good morning if your in the east along the us coast.
Will

 

[DDBustyBrit]

Busty - "What I want to know is how all these hot people with high sex drives end up in this situation? Canada & I are both attractive, smart, intellectual and sexy with crazy high sex drives"

Well, this is the million $$$ question for all of us here.

IMO... 1. no training really exists in having relationships. Most of us don't go to see a relationship coach or therapist until we are having trouble in a relationship and often after we are married and in trouble. This is a bit shocking to me even though I did it too.

Agree with this totally, we did do counseling for 4 months but then he decided we needed to quit

2. Confluent- I suffer from this. "Too easy going and goes along to get along," "Doesn't like confrontation or to rock the relationship boat." "doesn't know how to ask for what one wants before, during and after the relationship" ---I am guilty of this in the past.

Yes same here too, especially ‘don’t want to rock the boat’. Now I am thinking about saying what I want, problem is I don’t want it from him! And the ridiculous part is, in every other area of my life, saying what I want and think is never a problem! Yet I’d argue here’s the most important part!

3. We all make relationship mistakes! So don't be so hard on yourself! None of us are perfect - that goes especially for me. Relationships are an opportunity to grow so move toward growth as best one can. This comes with an awareness that my first and longest relationship(marriage) was not ideal for me. Also, that I change over time and what wasn't important early on is now so very important that I am now ready to ask for what I want and end the relationship because it now is a deal breaker.

I’ve stopped being that hard on myself partly thanks to Lit. When I first got back my confidence had been knocked by his lack of desire. Lit has fixed that as I see how attractive/sexy I am to men now and I know it’s not me. I’ve done everything I can, but I believe I’m at the point where I’m done. This is a deal breaker for me too now, it’s just timing I have to get figured.

Cheers all and good morning if your in the east along the us coast.
Will

Thanks for chipping in Will very well articulated...