A question for the men of Lit

[Lostgirl5960]

Recently I was told I was exhausting. Basically, because I didn't go from zero to cumming in 60 seconds. I need and enjoy the buildup. the mind and body foreplay, if you will. Snapping your fingers and telling me to cum just out of the blue is only going to get you an eye roll.
From what I can tell, on here, this is a quite common expectation from men. So tell me, as a general rule, is that how you really want it? The wham, bam, thank you M'am quickie? Or do you enjoy the buildup, the rising intensity, and ultimately the more mind blowing type of sex?

 

[OrLaTime]

Recently I was told I was exhausting. Basically, because I didn't go from zero to cumming in 60 seconds. I need and enjoy the buildup. the mind and body foreplay, if you will. Snapping your fingers and telling me to cum just out of the blue is only going to get you an eye roll.
From what I can tell, on here, this is a quite common expectation from men. So tell me, as a general rule, is that how you really want it? The wham, bam, thank you M'am quickie? Or do you enjoy the buildup, the rising intensity, and ultimately the more mind blowing type of sex?

Sexting should take lists of time!!

 

[JustbeingRandy]

The build up, the way you act, dress, talk. The way that the w partners interact with each other is very important. You build that desire and lust in each other, and yes that will lead to those wham bam moments. But it's also going to lead to those long weekends of playing and fucking in every corner of the house.

 

[mohitr123]

I am still a virgin but i like when intensity is high,kiss is deep,i can feel love and so on like that...

 

[live_wire_on]

Recently I was told I was exhausting. Basically, because I didn't go from zero to cumming in 60 seconds. I need and enjoy the buildup. the mind and body foreplay, if you will. Snapping your fingers and telling me to cum just out of the blue is only going to get you an eye roll.
From what I can tell, on here, this is a quite common expectation from men. So tell me, as a general rule, is that how you really want it? The wham, bam, thank you M'am quickie? Or do you enjoy the buildup, the rising intensity, and ultimately the more mind blowing type of sex?

The buildup is what makes the release great.

 

[Mtnmike]

Recently I was told I was exhausting. Basically, because I didn't go from zero to cumming in 60 seconds. I need and enjoy the buildup. the mind and body foreplay, if you will. Snapping your fingers and telling me to cum just out of the blue is only going to get you an eye roll.
From what I can tell, on here, this is a quite common expectation from men. So tell me, as a general rule, is that how you really want it? The wham, bam, thank you M'am quickie? Or do you enjoy the buildup, the rising intensity, and ultimately the more mind blowing type of sex?

I for 1 like to have extended foreplay, the teasing, the sexual high that comes with foreplay makes the experience all worth it. I will say there is a time and place for quickie's too but not all the time. Funny you bring this up, back when the wife and I were still intimate, she said that if I could do it quicker ( like 20 minutes ) that she would be willing to have it more often, go figure?

 

[Jada59]

I'm not a guy but I do cum very easily and I *can* cum when instructed, at least sometimes. Can I cum in 60 seconds? I could when I had my favorite massager. I loved that thing. Pressed against my bare crotch, I could cum in about 3 seconds. Through clothing, more like 3 minutes.

I have found that most of the Lit. guys love edging. IRL, I have not found too many who were into that, but 60 seconds is still pushing it.

I have also found that some men had exes who hated sex. They were not used to being with a woman who enjoyed it and were used to the woman getting it over with quickly.

One good way to get a man to slow down is to tie him down. Use some soft scarves and tie him lightly. Show him that he can easily get out if he wants to. Then take your time pleasuring him or taking your pleasure from him. He may beg you to speed up but keep it slow.

 

[masterofnymphoslut]

Foreplay should be just as intense

I think my signature here tells you how I FEEL about this subject. The guys who hurry the process have no idea what they're missing. I enjoy playing with a lady for as long as possible. Bringing them to the edge of sexual release over and over but denying them till they can't take it anymore. When they finally cum the release is so intense I've had ladies squirt who've never squirted before. Delicious. They're always more than happy to reciprocate.

 

[L8tnIt]

Recently I was told I was exhausting. Basically, because I didn't go from zero to cumming in 60 seconds. I need and enjoy the buildup. the mind and body foreplay, if you will. Snapping your fingers and telling me to cum just out of the blue is only going to get you an eye roll.
From what I can tell, on here, this is a quite common expectation from men. So tell me, as a general rule, is that how you really want it? The wham, bam, thank you M'am quickie? Or do you enjoy the buildup, the rising intensity, and ultimately the more mind blowing type of sex?

There is a time and place for either.
Sometimes, a quickie for both you and your partner is just the boost to keep going (akin to a Pawer Nap), and sometimes taking the sweet and delicious time to nurture the slow burning embers of Passion and Lust is just the Escape that you both can appreciate

 

[writeathome]

Either/or

For me, as a given rule I love the buildup. Starting with the just arousing sensation of skin on skin contact and eventually a release the just comes from the core and empties you out, I have had partners that could cum in the blink of an eye, but those are few and far between.

There is a time and a place for a quickie, but if that were the norm, I think I’d be disappointed. I’m too enamoured with the shape, feel, taste, and eroticism of the female form for it to always be quick and easy.

 

[Specula]

Recently I was told I was exhausting. Basically, because I didn't go from zero to cumming in 60 seconds. I need and enjoy the buildup. the mind and body foreplay, if you will. Snapping your fingers and telling me to cum just out of the blue is only going to get you an eye roll.
From what I can tell, on here, this is a quite common expectation from men. So tell me, as a general rule, is that how you really want it? The wham, bam, thank you M'am quickie? Or do you enjoy the buildup, the rising intensity, and ultimately the more mind blowing type of sex?

Not at all!! I may not be the typical man on Lit however

 

[TheDarksiders]

Recently I was told I was exhausting. Basically, because I didn't go from zero to cumming in 60 seconds. I need and enjoy the buildup. the mind and body foreplay, if you will. Snapping your fingers and telling me to cum just out of the blue is only going to get you an eye roll.
From what I can tell, on here, this is a quite common expectation from men. So tell me, as a general rule, is that how you really want it? The wham, bam, thank you M'am quickie? Or do you enjoy the buildup, the rising intensity, and ultimately the more mind blowing type of sex?

A post born of frustration. There are many "men of Lit" who would be more than happy to accommodate the rules of your game, and many will announce themselves here. Just as you have your preferred style of play, others do as well, and as a woman you'll have far more options than the (frustrated) men. Show the patience you want in others and go find your man...

 

[Smoothshavendad]

Recently I was told I was exhausting. Basically, because I didn't go from zero to cumming in 60 seconds. I need and enjoy the buildup. the mind and body foreplay, if you will. Snapping your fingers and telling me to cum just out of the blue is only going to get you an eye roll.
From what I can tell, on here, this is a quite common expectation from men. So tell me, as a general rule, is that how you really want it? The wham, bam, thank you M'am quickie? Or do you enjoy the buildup, the rising intensity, and ultimately the more mind blowing type of sex?

I completely agree with you. For me, it is much more about the journey than the destination. I love the build ups; going to the edge and backing off. Over and over...

 

[Tngdude2]

Absolutely take a long time! I never have understood so many men that spend all their time trying to get naked with a woman, then get it over with as quick as possible. Makes no sense to me.

It should be all about the feelings and teasing and skin against skin sensations that build up to the actual act. BUT, that being said, I think that overwhelmingly the men on this forum will agree with you. The man that is here and can articulate themselves, is not the wham/bam kind of guy.

My advice to my female friends has always been that if he can't take the time to insure you have had several orgasms before even attempting to penetrate you the first time, he does not deserve a second chance.

Good luck!!

 

[WillJ8787]

They are wrong

Recently I was told I was exhausting. Basically, because I didn't go from zero to cumming in 60 seconds. I need and enjoy the buildup. the mind and body foreplay, if you will. Snapping your fingers and telling me to cum just out of the blue is only going to get you an eye roll.
From what I can tell, on here, this is a quite common expectation from men. So tell me, as a general rule, is that how you really want it? The wham, bam, thank you M'am quickie? Or do you enjoy the buildup, the rising intensity, and ultimately the more mind blowing type of sex?

Dear Lostgirl,

It's unfair for anyone to ask you to be something other than you are and then judge you about it. I believe your right about lots of men being this way. I've heard this from girlfriends I've had that guys expect immediate and constant orgasms. One friend of mine said her husband would keep asking her every five minutes is she had cum yet.

Enlightened lovers don't do this. They will see you as you are and make love with you(not to you) in a way that responds to you and how you are when it comes to love making.

I had to learn about how to be a better lover...this was when I was younger. The buildup, sometimes over days and days, is so important to lots of women. I love this part of love making and sex because it is so erotic and passionate and you can do it in person or apart. The result is often really good sex. I hope you find someone who knows how you do this with you and don't take in what they're saying. Your right just the way you are.

Will

 

[jiimmmy]

just think of it like this -

girls spend the entire time trying to cum

guys spend the entire time trying not to

 

[Elite_Goblin]

just think of it like this -

girls spend the entire time trying to cum

guys spend the entire time trying not to

funny!

I wish my wife was more into foreplay. I like taking my time and letting things build up.

 

[Tngdude2]

I also feel if you let a partner know what you like/dislike in a sexual relationship and they try to make you feel bad about it, you will never change their opinion.

 

[TTawhere]

One good way to get a man to slow down is to tie him down. Use some soft scarves and tie him lightly. Show him that he can easily get out if he wants to. Then take your time pleasuring him or taking your pleasure from him. He may beg you to speed up but keep it slow.

^^^^
Yes, please!

Personally, I like to take my time. Age and maturity have brought me patience that I didn't have when I was in my 20's. One woman in particular that I dated made me re-think having sex in many ways. The biggest thing was to take the time to learn your partner's wants, needs, turn-ons/turn-offs, what her body's cues were and how to use them to give her more pleasure.

 

[seeshelly]

It is a mind set

I like the build up to a sexual situation but once the clothes start coming off I am usually wet and ready. I am fine with it if guys want to use a toy on me to make me cum a few times before we fuck but I don't feel a need for a lot of foreplay. I think it is a mater of mind-set. I am in it for the orgasms. If I am with my husband I don't mind the long slow kissing stuff but with other guys I do just want them getting down to business. I think the key is finding the right partner or partners. People that are tuned to the same key as you as far as their desires.

 

[StarGazer58]

I certainly enjoy the slow build up, kissing, licking, exploring, seeing her arousal grow, feeling her body move under my touch. A nice sensual massage is a good way to tease and increase her arousal. I like to give my partner multiple orgasms so foreplay is a good way to do that.

 

[MacGuffinn]

Recently I was told I was exhausting. Basically, because I didn't go from zero to cumming in 60 seconds. I need and enjoy the buildup. the mind and body foreplay, if you will. Snapping your fingers and telling me to cum just out of the blue is only going to get you an eye roll.
From what I can tell, on here, this is a quite common expectation from men. So tell me, as a general rule, is that how you really want it? The wham, bam, thank you M'am quickie? Or do you enjoy the buildup, the rising intensity, and ultimately the more mind blowing type of sex?

Sucks to be that guy. Fucking exhaust me, please! I'm all for the buildup and the eventual climax, no matter the length of time involved. Though the longer it takes, the more fun it is.

 

[pvt_addiction]

I prefer the 2nd option.

 

[Coranhorn]

Recently I was told I was exhausting. Basically, because I didn't go from zero to cumming in 60 seconds. I need and enjoy the buildup. the mind and body foreplay, if you will. Snapping your fingers and telling me to cum just out of the blue is only going to get you an eye roll.
From what I can tell, on here, this is a quite common expectation from men. So tell me, as a general rule, is that how you really want it? The wham, bam, thank you M'am quickie? Or do you enjoy the buildup, the rising intensity, and ultimately the more mind blowing type of sex?

Definitely the build up for me. But it's also situational. Do we have time? Let's build up. Of we dont, let's make it fast. I expect the person I'm with to enjoy it. Dont feel rushed. Especially when its online, take your time to get to know the person. Make sure you are into the same things and it will just flow.

 

[TheWorldBuilder]

Recently I was told I was exhausting. Basically, because I didn't go from zero to cumming in 60 seconds. I need and enjoy the buildup. the mind and body foreplay, if you will. Snapping your fingers and telling me to cum just out of the blue is only going to get you an eye roll.
From what I can tell, on here, this is a quite common expectation from men. So tell me, as a general rule, is that how you really want it? The wham, bam, thank you M'am quickie? Or do you enjoy the buildup, the rising intensity, and ultimately the more mind blowing type of sex?

I'm only human. The intention to take things slow and let the moment linger might be there, but if I'm into you - body and soul - then it might be over quicker than we both wanted. Relax, cuddle and wait 20 minutes or so. I'll be back and this time you might be the one telling me to hurry up.