Daddy Doms

[BeautifulBlueSky218]

This is a side of me that I've never fully admitted, I've been admitting things lately because for the longest time I've been shy. This year I've been noticing a lot of things about myself. One thing is for certain is that I love older men and I do find Daddy Doms interesting. I'm learning a lot about the lifestyle and been reading a lot about it on the internet lately.

I've chatted with a few Doms and Daddy Doms in the past and only met a handful of them who I trusted and opened up to them. Others I felt a instant bad vibe from them because they wanted to control me almost immediately and told me what to do with only a few minutes of speaking to them. They didn't want to know anything about me or asked a single thing about me. I want to be able to feel comfy with the person who I'm going to open up too, especially if I'm going to be experiencing sexual things with them or even dirty talking. So the moment "red flags" go off I no longer want to speak to them.

This is a side of me that it's completely new and it's all exciting at the same time. I never knew this was a side of me up until a few years ago and now I'm feeling really comfortable about it. The more research I read about Daddy Doms, I'm feeling very comfy about the whole thing. Older men, is something else I'm beginning to discover about myself and I love the way they speak to me or teach me about new things. It's all very very exciting. This is just something I wanted to share about myself. Even though I'm shy, I can share some things about myself and other times I shy away because it's new to me. I'm sure this is common when you find new things about yourself for the first time.

 

[WolfMann63]

Good luck and take care of yourself, sky.

 

[MaBelle3120]

Good luck, I hope you find what you're looking for

 

[MrWizard53]

Just read your bio, a lot of stuff to talk about if you're interested in seeing where it goes. At minimum a new friend is always fabulous! So, if you're truly interested in older guys, who have a head full of knowledge to pass on... tag! You're it!

 

[MutualMatureMike]

This is a side of me that I've never fully admitted, I've been admitting things lately because for the longest time I've been shy. This year I've been noticing a lot of things about myself. One thing is for certain is that I love older men and I do find Daddy Dom's interesting. I'm learning a lot about the lifestyle and been reading a lot about it on the internet lately.

I've chatted with a few Dom's and Daddy Dom's in the past and only met a handful of them who I trusted and opened up to them. Others I felt a instant bad vibe from them because they wanted to control me almost immediately and told me what to do with only a few minutes of speaking to them. They didn't want to know anything about me or asked a single thing about me. I want to be able to feel comfy with the person who I'm going to open up too, especially if I'm going to be experiencing sexual things with them or even dirty talking. So the moment "red flags" go off I no longer want to speak to them.

This is a side of me that it's completely new and it's all exciting at the same time. I never knew this was a side of me up until a few years ago and now I'm feeling really comfortable about it. The more research I read about Daddy Dom's, I'm feeling very comfy about the whole thing. Older men, is something else I'm beginning to discover about myself and I love the way they speak to me or teach me about new things. It's all very very exciting. This is just something I wanted to share about myself. Even though I'm shy, I can share some things about myself and other times I shy away because it's new to me. I'm sure this is common when you find new things about yourself for the first time.

Our minds offer infinite scope for exploration don't they?

 

[RudyGardet]

Similar journey

I've had a similar journey over the past couple of years learning about and accepting my Daddy side. First, like many here, I'm not a huge fan of labels. More importantly though, early on for me Dd/lg made me think mostly of creepy assholes or girls talking cutesy baby talk. No doubt that is what it is for some people (especially the assholes part) but after meeting people and starting to identify the root of some of the more positive experiences and relationships I had here, I realized that Daddy Dom was not a bad thing and it was the closest thing to a label that fit. This was an accomplishment for me because when I opened myself to this dynamic more fully it became even more rewarding. With the right person it's amazing how powerful and fun it can be. It must be taken seriously and handled carefully though. There is a lot of potential depth of feeling and it often treads deliciously close to some beautifully dark territory, so caution and caring are critical.
BeautifulBlueSky thanks for your lovely post. Send me a PM and ask me about my X-Files story, you won't regret it!

 

[Chiquita6623]

This is a side of me that I've never fully admitted, I've been admitting things lately because for the longest time I've been shy. This year I've been noticing a lot of things about myself. One thing is for certain is that I love older men and I do find Daddy Dom's interesting. I'm learning a lot about the lifestyle and been reading a lot about it on the internet lately.

I've chatted with a few Dom's and Daddy Dom's in the past and only met a handful of them who I trusted and opened up to them. Others I felt a instant bad vibe from them because they wanted to control me almost immediately and told me what to do with only a few minutes of speaking to them. They didn't want to know anything about me or asked a single thing about me. I want to be able to feel comfy with the person who I'm going to open up too, especially if I'm going to be experiencing sexual things with them or even dirty talking. So the moment "red flags" go off I no longer want to speak to them.

This is a side of me that it's completely new and it's all exciting at the same time. I never knew this was a side of me up until a few years ago and now I'm feeling really comfortable about it. The more research I read about Daddy Dom's, I'm feeling very comfy about the whole thing. Older men, is something else I'm beginning to discover about myself and I love the way they speak to me or teach me about new things. It's all very very exciting. This is just something I wanted to share about myself. Even though I'm shy, I can share some things about myself and other times I shy away because it's new to me. I'm sure this is common when you find new things about yourself for the first time.

It took me awhile to figure out that this was something I was into as well. When I first started my journey I had no idea the different paths that one could take when exploring this delicious new territory! I’m happy to say that I was able to find my happy little place in this vast lifestyle that we occupy, even if it’s in my own head.

If you ever want to chat with a like minded person, this little is ALWAYS open to new friendships!

 

[Deleted member 861104]

What a shame that your contact information is unavailable... I suppose it is because there are many men who responded..without getting what you were trying to say...

 

[MahoganyAngel]

Glad you are open to the idea of a daddy dom.

I have mixed feelings of that role. On one hand, I like the idea of being pampered, having patience, being cared for and having someone guide you to be the best possible you, you can be. On the other hand... maybe it's just the title in the name I am reacting to. daddy... just kinda odd although I kinda get what's trying to be implied.

Anyway, trust your instincts since you usually cannot go wrong of shying away from someone when you have a bad vibe. Remember to take all the time in the world with getting to know a person since there truly is not any rush.

All the best with delving into your fun and search into finding the right (daddy) dom.

 

[Lascivity]

Good luck. Trust your instincts - they know what they're doing. If someone gives you a bad feeling, that's the only red flag you need to see in order to avoid them.

It sounds like you're doing well on your journey, and enjoying discovering things about yourself. That's awesome. Keep going.

 

[Knoturnal]

i think i have a thing for so called Daddy Doms
maybe it's due to the fact that my father died before i was born and my mother and stepfather made me think that my stepfather were my father until i found out the truth about 2 years ago and ran away
i don't know

DaddyDoms are very much like other Doms except they like to nurture their submissive’s (littles or middles) more and help them discover their passions to grow up strong and ready to take on the world much like some Daddy’s. They can be more like Daddy’s but they shouldn’t be expected to be push overs or anything else weak.

 

[BrattyForDaddy68]

New To DD/lg too

I'm still new to this world, but as soon as a friend introduced me to this side of things, it's like a lightbulb went off in my mind. Suddenly, everything made sense and I knew why previous relationships didn't work. Unfortunately guys misunderstand what I'm looking for and assume I fantasize about incest. Not even close!

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

[This thread is a couple of months old, but I’ve been away, so I’ll just pretend like it was just posted.]

Hey! Great thread you posted, just now. In late October. Today. Hey, don’t worry if it takes you some time to accept that DD/lg is your thing. It took me for-evvvver. And why wouldn’t it? If you’re drawn to this dynamic, but aren’t too familiar with it, there’s a lot of cultural muck to wade through. I thought for the longest time that something was wrong with me because 1) I wasn’t as cold and steely as some doms I’d encountered, and certainly not like the picture of a dom I had in my head. And 2) While I am naturally at home in a Daddy Dom/little girl dynamic, for a long time I felt baaaaad about that. In fact, I was told by a sub that it was twisted and sick (yeah, that didn’t work out).

The incest thing is often grafted onto perceptions of DD/lg, and it’s hard not to be influenced by that, even if your kinks have zero to do with incest.

Finally I just said, fuck it, this is what I like and this is who I am. It’s a flavor of D/s and if you don’t like my flavor, please don’t fucking order it. I learned more and more and now I realize that I’m not twisted and sick. Well, I am twisted and sick, but not because of this.

So you’ve been approached by Daddy Doms Lite, who want to immediately tell you what to do. If you’re talking about Lit, that’s popular, no matter the kink. So very popular.

If someone is just looking for role play or a bottom, then I get it (although not the dickishness), but I’ve never understood how someone can purport to be a dominant without having some understanding (not to mention consent) of the human being they are dominating. I think it’s particularly true of DD/lg (although I’m biased), because DD/lg includes a significant component of nurturing. How can you nurture someone and help them grow if you have zero understanding of what makes them tick?

This is the end of my post, but I want to thank you tremendously for creating this thread today.

 

[AlwaysFara]

[This thread is a couple of months old, but I’ve been away, so I’ll just pretend like it was just posted.]

Hey! Great thread you posted, just now. In late October. Today. Hey, don’t worry if it takes you some time to accept that DD/lg is your thing. It took me for-evvvver. And why wouldn’t it? If you’re drawn to this dynamic, but aren’t too familiar with it, there’s a lot of cultural muck to wade through. I thought for the longest time that something was wrong with me because 1) I wasn’t as cold and steely as some doms I’d encountered, and certainly not like the picture of a dom I had in my head. And 2) While I am naturally at home in a Daddy Dom/little girl dynamic, for a long time I felt baaaaad about that. In fact, I was told by a sub that it was twisted and sick (yeah, that didn’t work out).

The incest thing is often grafted onto perceptions of DD/lg, and it’s hard not to be influenced by that, even if your kinks have zero to do with incest.

Finally I just said, fuck it, this is what I like and this is who I am. It’s a flavor of D/s and if you don’t like my flavor, please don’t fucking order it. I learned more and more and now I realize that I’m not twisted and sick. Well, I am twisted and sick, but not because of this.

So you’ve been approached by Daddy Doms Lite, who want to immediately tell you what to do. If you’re talking about Lit, that’s popular, no matter the kink. So very popular.

If someone is just looking for role play or a bottom, then I get it (although not the dickishness), but I’ve never understood how someone can purport to be a dominant without having some understanding (not to mention consent) of the human being they are dominating. I think it’s particularly true of DD/lg (although I’m biased), because DD/lg includes a significant component of nurturing. How can you nurture someone and help them grow if you have zero understanding of what makes them tick?

This is the end of my post, but I want to thank you tremendously for creating this thread today.

The thing that puts me OFF about Daddy stuff is that... who grows? And do you really want her to grow? Because then she won’t be your lg.

I’m sub, not an lg, but I’m so curious about this, as I’m nurtured every day.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

The thing that puts me OFF about Daddy stuff is that... who grows? And do you really want her to grow? Because then she won’t be your lg.

I’m sub, not an lg, but I’m so curious about this, as I’m nurtured every day.

Oh, I want her to grow, alright. I want her to be 80 feet tall! A rampaging Godzilla little, because my secondary kink is giantess stuff!

Well, I would say that all dynamics are unique, and can involve as much of any quality as the participants prefer and bring to it; I don’t mean to infer that nurturing need be unique to DD/lg. However, by and large it is a defining characteristic of it.

Another central component would be postures of “bigness” - caretaking, authority, experience, for example - and “smallness” - aspects of innocence, need, childlike trust, or brattiness, and these would also vary with the dynamic. Of course the role of big or little need have nothing to do with the ages of those in the dynamic, although often the DD is older than the lg.

How are you?

 

[AlwaysFara]

Oh, I want her to grow, alright. I want her to be 80 feet tall! A rampaging Godzilla little, because my secondary kink is giantess stuff!

Well, I would say that all dynamics are unique, and can involve as much of any quality as the participants prefer and bring to it; I don’t mean to infer that nurturing need be unique to DD/lg. However, by and large it is a defining characteristic of it.

Another central component would be postures of “bigness” - caretaking, authority, experience, for example - and “smallness” - aspects of innocence, need, childlike trust, or brattiness, and these would also vary with the dynamic. Of course the role of big or little need have nothing to do with the ages of those in the dynamic, although often the DD is older than the lg.

How are you?

Well. I’m off KIK as you know. I’ll PM you when I’m not buzzed.

 

[varv]

Others I felt a instant bad vibe from them because they wanted to control me almost immediately and told me what to do with only a few minutes of speaking to them. They didn't want to know anything about me or asked a single thing about me. [/QUOTE]

I agree with you. It is this fact that repels and irritates. It is he who destroys all trust. And means nothing not tickles, hatred and alienation.

 

[BeautifulBlueSky218]

I'm glad a lot of people have enjoyed this thread. I finally came back to this topic and saw so many responses. WOW! Thank you! Ask me any questions you'd like to know. I'm hoping to meet a few Daddy Dom's to speak with too, so I can know more about this lifestyle.

 

[Beth87]

Re growth..the nurturing doesn’t stop. I think you’d be confusing age play with this if it’s seen as something you can grow out of. It’s not like growing up.

In a very basic sense, we all have a child ego that stays with us and that we will always need to take care of throughout our lives. This dynamic I think is in some ways an exaggeration of traditional mf roles. But..it provides an outlet for men to be nurturing in a way they might not elsewhere.

Anyway..psych feminist brain aside..I really thrive in this kind of relationship when it’s handled well.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

Re growth..the nurturing doesn’t stop. I think you’d be confusing age play with this if it’s seen as something you can grow out of. It’s not like growing up.

In a very basic sense, we all have a child ego that stays with us and that we will always need to take care of throughout our lives. This dynamic I think is in some ways an exaggeration of traditional mf roles. But..it provides an outlet for men to be nurturing in a way they might not elsewhere.

Anyway..psych feminist brain aside..I really thrive in this kind of relationship when it’s handled well.

I like this way of describing this.

I neglected to state in my post that a similar dynamic is at play in Mommy Dom/little boy relationships. I don’t know much about that, but it would be interesting to hear someone talk about it.

 

[UsuallyPresent]

The problem I have with the Dd/lg terminology is that it implicitly assumes that there's one type of relationship under this label.


It isn't, IMO. It's a cloud, amorphous and chaotically organized.


Some Dd/lg groups (may be pairs, threesomes, more) may be strict, always following some agreed to set of rules.


Others may be more freeform, where the goal may be more to have a loving relationship.


Still others may be there for the raw kink.


Still others obsess over the obvious, overt support of a 'young' girl by her loving patriarch. (Or as Green Eyes correctly pointed out, all the other mixes of genders)


Sure, some are all about infantilizing the lg/lb, but others are about a healthy loving relationship along 'nontraditional' lines.


There are all sorts of shades-of-grey in between and beyond these poles, too.


The first type are mostly obvious due to their implicit assumption of no changes and the second type for their striving to see improvements over time.


I'm sure I'm missing other poles in this type of relationship, it's not one I've been personally into, only having seen it 'from the outside' if you will.

 

[Master_Doctor]

One thing I can promise you, after living over 22 years in the life style is that every Relationship is unique. Doesnt matter what dynamic it is. The relationship is as unique as the people that are a part of it. The sooner people come to terms with this, the easier navigating such relationships will be. You cant compare two people. Everyone is unique. So how can you expect every Dynamic D/s, M/s, DD/s or what ever... to be the same as another? You cant. Ive had many M/s through the years, more than a few D/s and some that were very close to a DD/s. No two of them were a like.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

The problem I have with the Dd/lg terminology is that it implicitly assumes that there's one type of relationship under this label.

It isn't, IMO. It's a cloud, amorphous and chaotically organized.

Some Dd/lg groups (may be pairs, threesomes, more) may be strict, always following some agreed to set of rules.

Others may be more freeform, where the goal may be more to have a loving relationship.

Still others may be there for the raw kink.

Still others obsess over the obvious, overt support of a 'young' girl by her loving patriarch. (Or as Green Eyes correctly pointed out, all the other mixes of genders)

Sure, some are all about infantilizing the lg/lb, but others are about a healthy loving relationship along 'nontraditional' lines.

There are all sorts of shades-of-grey in between and beyond these poles, too.

The first type are mostly obvious due to their implicit assumption of no changes and the second type for their striving to see improvements over time.

I'm sure I'm missing other poles in this type of relationship, it's not one I've been personally into, only having seen it 'from the outside' if you will.

You’re right, there are many kinds of relationships walking along under the umbrella of DD/lg, and it is kaleidoscopic. If I were in a similar relationship where DD/lg didn’t describe me, it would annoy me. It’s a label that offers a good deal of specificity that doesn’t fit some people. Some make it a point to be more specific, though. For example, MD/lb, MD/lg or DD/lb. Some use a more inclusive term - Caretaker/little - which encompasses more types of these relationships. And of course, there is my favorite alternative, and one used often on this board in the past: PYL/pyl (Pick Your Label/pick your label).

There are always going to be labeling issues. There are similar issues for “Dom/sub” relationships, which as we all know, can encompass a vast array of approaches, including DD/lg. And think of what, even, say, “married” can mean: from male/female to single-sex to non-binary, vanilla to Master/slave, monogamous to poly, straight to pan, intensely sexual to asexual, and on and on.

On another point, I disagree (and tell me if I misunderstand) that DD/lg dynamics with rules aren’t about improvement over time, for both DD and little. The rules should be ALL about improvement and growth, in my opinion. Those are the signposts that keep you aware as you’re both hiking the trail, and moving you to the summit. They keep you on track, and foster mutual understanding. They provide data on your journey. They are indicators, too, and can be rethought and renegotiated if they aren’t working. That’s growth, right?

 

[L0tus]

Hooray for finding your littleness and sharing!

 

[littlebirdjoy]

"On another point, I disagree (and tell me if I misunderstand) that DD/lg dynamics with rules aren’t about improvement over time, for both DD and little. The rules should be ALL about improvement and growth, in my opinion. Those are the signposts that keep you aware as you’re both hiking the trail, and moving you to the summit. They keep you on track, and foster mutual understanding. They provide data on your journey. They are indicators, too, and can be rethought and renegotiated if they aren’t working. That’s growth, right?"

Well said. I've been in two caretaker relationships that were really very positive and this was a commonality between them. On a different site a very wise person wrote once, "if you are in a D/s relationship and you aren't being encouraged to grow as a submissive, if no learning or training is taking place. This is a big red flag. You are more likely than not being used as someone's personal porn star." Sure, that isn't always the case, but it was true in my past relationship, and it was a giant red flag I didn't know to look for. He had no desire or inclination to care enough about my well being to actually... help me grow.

"The rules should be ALL about improvement and growth, in my opinion." I'm not sure the rules should be all about it... some certainly should. Others are for safety, well being, respect, etc. The GOALS which should be created together and worked on together certainly should be. Cognitive behavioral psychology can be very useful for this.

"Those are the signposts that keep you aware as you’re both hiking the trail, and moving you to the summit. They keep you on track, and foster mutual understanding. They provide data on your journey. They are indicators, too, and can be rethought and renegotiated if they aren’t working"
Boy howdy, well said! A contract of any variety in this dynamic (verbal or written) is a living document, and as such should be revisited regularly and intentionally. It should be a part and process that you work through together making sure that you are both moving along that same path, and that it is still in both your best interests.

There is a saying, if you aren't growing together than you are growing apart. I believe it is very accurate.

My Daddy, when asked, will say that his entire point is to help me grow into the person I was supposed to be, the person I am innately without all the trappings of ego and walls. First going back to the little girl before she got hurt and hurt and hurt and then helping to grow her into the woman she was meant to become. It is something that, yes, to a degree scares me. I've expressed that a few times. I'm happy that I've finally FINALLY found a safe place to be little. That I finally am beginning to know what that looks like when it is really truly wanted. I'm scared that I will "outgrow" it, and then what will happen... but he reassures me every time that I bring that up that he has got us. That it may well happen that I outgrow that when I no longer need it, because I'm well and truly safe, but if I do, it is me that he loves and it is him that I love and respect... so no matter what, no matter how "big" I get I'll still be his little.


A different Daddy who I knew a long time ago wrote a really beautiful piece about being a stone shelter for his little one. That he believed that it was his job to get bigger for her if she grew, not ever his job to make her smaller to fit him. It was really beautiful. I'd go looking for it in the DDlg thread, but I'm not really emotionally up for hunting for it right now. It would be around July or August of 2018.

Thank you OP and thank you DGE.