Write an Obituary For the Poster Above You

[Lord Pmann]

The title of the thread speaks for itself.

I think this’ll be a hit.

 

[Shi_One81]

The title of the thread speaks for itself.

I think this’ll be a hit.

(Not so fun fact, I used to have to write obituaries for my job at the paper.)

Loved by Some Tolerated by Many

 

[tallladiesman]

(Not so fun fact, I used to have to write obituaries for my job at the paper.)

Loved by Some Tolerated by Many

Admired by many,
Not as shy as she let on

 

[JerseyJade]

Admired by many,
Not as shy as she let on

Will be missed, but new laws are now in effect to make door openings taller.

 

[BadAmy]

Will be missed, but new laws are now in effect to make door openings taller.

Sadly with her demise,
which was epic by the way,
selfies will now be banned. for all eternity.
No one could come close to that perfection.


*sniff*
In paradisum deducant te Angeli; in tuo adventu suscipiant te martyres, et perducant te in civitatem sanctam Jerusalem. Chorus angelorum te suscipiat, et cum Lazaro quondam paupere æternam habeas requiem.



https://media.giphy.com/media/5dkiNJvWnL1RK/giphy.gif

 

[BadAmy]

what? no takers?
what do you think? That I am destined to live forever?

wait...I think we are on to something.

https://media.giphy.com/media/GrRqrAK3bujjW/giphy.gif

 

[tnman03]

what? no takers?
what do you think? That I am destined to live forever?

wait...I think we are on to something.

https://media.giphy.com/media/GrRqrAK3bujjW/giphy.gif

Deeply missed following a tragic accident with a mechanical alligator. Her voice and humor were legendary.

 

[JerseyJade]

Deeply missed following a tragic accident with a mechanical alligator. Her voice and humor were legendary.

He was a noble and brave man who fought for justice throughout his legendary life. Unfortunately, in his quest to avenge the death of our beloved BadAmy by confronting a mechanical alligator... he lost. He will be greatly missed. *sniff, sniff*

 

[Lord Pmann]

He was a noble and brave man who fought for justice throughout his legendary life. Unfortunately, in his quest to avenge the death of our beloved BadAmy by confronting a mechanical alligator... he lost. He will be greatly missed. *sniff, sniff*

Known throughout the beautiful state of Jersey as the Jersey Cock Gobbler, she was known for her love of Jersey, friends, family and sucking dick. She was always smiling and having fun.

She died choking on her boyfriend’s large penis. However, those there when it happened said that she had a smile on her face. Friends said, “She died doing what she loved.”

She leaves behind many sad, grieving cocks.

 

[Lord Pmann]

what? no takers?
what do you think? That I am destined to live forever?

wait...I think we are on to something.

https://media.giphy.com/media/GrRqrAK3bujjW/giphy.gif

This is one of my threads that I don’t think is going to be super popular.

 

[JerseyJade]

Known throughout the beautiful state of Jersey as the Jersey Cock Gobbler, she was known for her love of Jersey, friends, family and sucking dick. She was always smiling and having fun.

She died choking on her boyfriend’s large penis. However, those there when it happened said that she had a smile on her face. Friends said, “She died doing what she loved.”

She leaves behind many sad, grieving cocks.

This even made me cry.

Pmann is still the poster above, so please skip me.

 

[DeckardNYC]

This is one of my threads that I don’t think is going to be super popular.

Known for his grotesquely oversized penis and porn star like stamina, he died when after 90 minutes of sex, his brain, being without blood the whole time, was so oxygen starved it ceased to function. Donations in lieu of flowers please.

 

[Lord Pmann]

A native to NYC, he was known for his love of NY subways. One day, while exposing himself outside the subway, his penis got caught in the doorway. As it took off, he died.

He leaves behind two testicles. He will be missed.

Known for his grotesquely oversized penis and porn star like stamina, he died when after 90 minutes of sex, his brain, being without blood the whole time, was so oxygen starved it ceased to function. Donations in lieu of flowers please.

That brought a tear to my eye.

 

[tnman03]

A native to NYC, he was known for his love of NY subways. One day, while exposing himself outside the subway, his penis got caught in the doorway. As it took off, he died.

He leaves behind two testicles. He will be missed.

That brought a tear to my eye.

His unfortunate demise occurred following several sarcastic verbal jabs at a moderator who’d finally had enough and inadvertently hit the delete button instead of the edit button. It was at that point he realized the folly of losing his corporeal reality inside of a digital non-reality.

The celebration of his non-life is now in progress at the local Brats 'n Beer Grub & More pub in No Wheresville USA.

 

[tolyk]

His unfortunate demise occurred following several sarcastic verbal jabs at a moderator who’d finally had enough and inadvertently hit the delete button instead of the edit button. It was at that point he realized the folly of losing his corporeal reality inside of a digital non-reality.

The celebration of his non-life is now in progress at the local Brats 'n Beer Grub & More pub in No Wheresville USA.

Tnman was regarded highly by men, women, and transvestites alike. He was a brave explorer, known for traversing such dangerous places as the Playground and the dreaded Personals. Daring to explore deeper, to harvest the lost souls of the inter nets to retain his youth, he fell to his death in the great pornhub.

He shall be missed terribly. Donations in boob heavy selfies and vagina close ups are requested. No dick pics, except if they are artistic.

 

[Apisto42]

Tnman was regarded highly by men, women, and transvestites alike. He was a brave explorer, known for traversing such dangerous places as the Playground and the dreaded Personals. Daring to explore deeper, to harvest the lost souls of the inter nets to retain his youth, he fell to his death in the great pornhub.

He shall be missed terribly. Donations in boob heavy selfies and vagina close ups are requested. No dick pics, except if they are artistic.

Tol’s photography was appreciated by many. The exquisite photos he captured of his cock and balls broke new ground along with a few vibrators. In lieu of donations, please send black and white photos of your naughty bits to your elected representatives.

 

[default24]

Torn asunder by Frankenstein's monster

 

[hotwords229_A]

Torn asunder by Frankenstein's monster

He found Something Sexy to See at Suz's and it was more than he could handle.

 

[Apisto42]

Hotwords will also go down in history as the only man buried with a boner. May you and your eternal boner rest in a hot piece.

FIFY

PLP will be missed. Well, not by him, or her, or that other asshole. But most people loved her vivaciousness and inquiring posts. She generated a lot of content with her spectacular boobs and sexy smirk. The B&B is a cold dark place without her. In tribute, her friends are requested to masturbate 55 times in a row.

 

[BadAmy]

FIFY

PLP will be missed. Well, not by him, or her, or that other asshole. But most people loved her vivaciousness and inquiring posts. She generated a lot of content with her spectacular boobs and sexy smirk. The B&B is a cold dark place without her. In tribute, her friends are requested to masturbate 55 times in a row.

Apisto never did piss anyone off. But enjoyed being pissed on and talking bunny.
He will be sorely missed for his mild manner and delicate fragility.
Too many audio recordings of orgasms were the culprit, blew his bunnybrain.
Because of this, all orgasms must now be live streamed at 2.99 a minute.
All proceeds go to support local bunny shelters.

 

[DeckardNYC]

BadAmy lived a life of joy and music.

She will be survived by her 312 threads and missed by every single Litster. She was the first Litster inducted into the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame and, surprisingly, the baseball Hall of Fame. Because... well... balls.

RIP Amy. May your ghost haunt us forever.

PLP lived a full life online, and was an outgoing person to the end, always ready to show her privates to the boys. Or the girls. Awarded the title "Prettiest Pussy" in her high school year book (a title for which she campaigned vigorously, showing to one and all), she took to the moniker with gusto, living up to the award for many many years. Among her achievements in that vein were three centerfold features in Spread magazine, for which she won an award at the 2013 AVN awards, and a supporting role in the short film aptly titled "Pretty Pussies." She will be missed by millions.

 

[DeckardNYC]

PLP lived a full life online, and was an outgoing person to the end, always ready to show her privates to the boys. Or the girls. Awarded the title "Prettiest Pussy" in her high school year book (a title for which she campaigned vigorously, showing to one and all), she took to the moniker with gusto, living up to the award for many many years. Among her achievements in that vein were three centerfold features in Spread magazine, for which she won an award at the 2013 AVN awards, and a supporting role in the short film aptly titled "Pretty Pussies." She will be missed by millions.

Alas, poor Deckard has passed. Honored for his work hunting replicants in Los Angeles, Deckard retired to New York City, where he enjoyed a simple lifestyle of exercise, sex and literotica. Hit by a biking novice on a Citibike while he was running along the East River, Deckard is said to have screamed "you fucking ugly bitch" as he tumbled into the river. Passerbys watched and filmed as Deckard desperately tried to climb the walls under Manhatten Bridge, until he succumbed and sank into the river. Leaving no heirs or family, and since his body was not recovered as his struggles against the river were not reported to authorities and only learned of three days later due to the posting of a video online, there will be no services.

Yes, this is BUMB for this thread.

 

[kurrginatorX]

It was me. I admit it freely. I was the one on the Citibike, and me hitting him was no accident. The reason his body was never found is because some friends and I dragged him from the river and forced him into one hobo fight after another until he just couldn't go anymore, then we sold him to North Korea where Kim Jong Un promised to try him as an enemy of the state, but not before Deckard has "Happy Time" with Dennis Rodman. As for me, I'm off to someplace where extradition back to the US is prohibited.