Using an escort?

[Very_Tense]

So - sexless marriage (me 52, her 48) as she’s not interested. I have a good SOH, lots of interests but dad bod and/or personality means I can’t get a friend with benefits or meet someone else.

Kind of OK with no sex or indeed any form of human contact at the moment, but thinking that in further I might turn to an escort for some intimacy (hopefully decent - £100-£150/hr)

Any other guys gone down this route? Any regrets? Wished you’d done it earlier?

 

[Jada59]

I'm not a guy but based on what you said here, your personality doesn't seem to be a problem and a dad bod shouldn't be a problem. Lots of women are into that! I would urge you not to go the escort route. They're not sincere. They're only in it for the money. Good thoughts coming your way!

 

[IsItBad]

thoughts on the subject

So - sexless marriage (me 52, her 48) as she’s not interested. I have a good SOH, lots of interests but dad bod and/or personality means I can’t get a friend with benefits or meet someone else.

Kind of OK with no sex or indeed any form of human contact at the moment, but thinking that in further I might turn to an escort for some intimacy (hopefully decent - £100-£150/hr)

Any other guys gone down this route? Any regrets? Wished you’d done it earlier?

I personally, have never hired or used an escort.....but....i have a friend....who, frankly, i thought was gay.....after years and years of never hearing about another woman or seeing him with a female.....but one day after many beers, he confessed that he had been hiring an escort for years......it started out purely a fiduciary relationship.....but after some time they both developed feelings for each other....but even so he still pays her and she still does whatever he wants her to....we talked about it a lot.....and it has definitely worked well for him

Some may say that they would never pay for sex but i submit that MANY if not MOST married men pay for sex continuously......granted there are some good marriages where both parties take care of each other and meet each others needs.....but far more of them are more of a bartering arrangement...….

in my first marriage, my wife outright stated about 5 years in that she'd definitely "make it worth my while" if i could just go ahead and buy about a $8000 dining room suit she wanted.....so i bought it and she summarily fucked my brains out...…

it was enlightening in that she fucked better than ever before.....and heartbreaking that she was capable but not willing or interested in doing it for love

i say go for it.....i wish i had any inside advice on how best to go about it....but i wouldn't even know where to begin.....but i am sure you can find your way

that's my 2 cents

 

[Jerric2]

Slippery slope

Hi

53 also in sexless marriage since kids and birth complications. 14 years on the wagon. Have been on line looking at escorts for years but never pushed the button. Struggle to enjoy sex unless she’s into it to. Have recently been for happy ending massages which have helped but is it slippery slope? Have also engaged in some swinging (MMF) which has been thrilling but competing with many single guys means it doesn’t happen often. Don’t think I’ll ever go all in with an escort coz I suspect I’ll be disappointed. Need a discrete FWB.

 

[Spiritedlady]

I personally think that a financial arrangement is fine between consenting adults but you have to be fine with the idea that she would probably prefer to be elsewhere and may not have a very high regard for you. God knows she puts herself on the line every time she goes to meet a client.

 

[Very_Tense]

Not at that stage yet, but think I could get there.

Might be quite exciting too, having the chance to go with women of different ages and races.

Have to see if I just loose interest in sex first and can’t be bothered any more!

 

[HayleyLuvsSex]

eh, i see nothing wrong with seeing an escort.

 

[Slitlicker4u400]

I understand your situation

Im basically inthe same boat as you and have been for about four years, if i were familiar with the process of hiring an escort, i would have for sure.

 

[deafjeff]

Asian massage parlors

Haven't tried escorts yet but recently AMPs have been quite satisfying and a whole lot fun. Two problems though, now every time I drive by one I want to pull in and I want to move to south east Asia.

 

[RichardBentwood]

I would go thru a site like eccie.net and look at reviews first.

 

[Shelly2inme]

Good advice

I'm not a guy but based on what you said here, your personality doesn't seem to be a problem and a dad bod shouldn't be a problem. Lots of women are into that! I would urge you not to go the escort route. They're not sincere. They're only in it for the money. Good thoughts coming your way!

I think the advice from Jada is spot on. Pay to play is also dangerous to your health.

If you just want some safe and no strings attached sex I recommend you join a local gym. Lots of married woman that are not being cared for at home.

They are often at the gym trying to look more sexy because they want to find the same thing you want to find.

It costs less than buying a hooker and you can upgrade your dad body.

I think most halfway descent looking guys with friendly manners could find a lonely wife that would be a safe fuck buddy at most gyms within less than a month.

 

[Davapo2458]

OP: you’d be surprised how many women out there are turned on by the idea of being a neglected married man’s naughty secret.

 

[Thatdurtydawg]

I think the advice from Jada is spot on. Pay to play is also dangerous to your health.

If you just want some safe and no strings attached sex I recommend you join a local gym. Lots of married woman that are not being cared for at home.

They are often at the gym trying to look more sexy because they want to find the same thing you want to find.

It costs less than buying a hooker and you can upgrade your dad body.

I think most halfway descent looking guys with friendly manners could find a lonely wife that would be a safe fuck buddy at most gyms within less than a month.

Excellent advice!

 

[1OldSalt]

So - sexless marriage (me 52, her 48) as she’s not interested. I have a good SOH, lots of interests but dad bod and/or personality means I can’t get a friend with benefits or meet someone else.

Kind of OK with no sex or indeed any form of human contact at the moment, but thinking that in further I might turn to an escort for some intimacy (hopefully decent - £100-£150/hr)

Any other guys gone down this route? Any regrets? Wished you’d done it earlier?

Been in the same situation as you for quite a while.
I chose to go the Pay for Play route. I have enjoyed it thoroughly. The professionals that I have
met are just that. Safety first.
I have had the best sex of my life in p for p, a few disappointments here and there but not many.

 

[Rackham75]

While I don't have an issue with escorts, and sex work in general, the concern that I would have is if they were doing it against their wishes. I hear about so many of those "massage parlors" being involved in illegal sex trafficking and I would never want to do anything to support that.

I don't know how it is with the escort services, because I haven't done a lot of research into it, but it just seems risky to me.

My 2 cents.

 

[200K]

Pay to play used to be fairly easy...at least in Texas.
New laws went into effect Sept 1st, making it much harder to be a new client to an independent woman. They did away with Backpage, snd craigslist personals, avenues to find talent.
I've found a few great ladies over the years, had great times.

Find a good lady, and be a regular.

 

[AlliaPotestas]

Yo... I don’t give a fuck whether you use a prostitute or not, but be aware there are an awful of vulnerable women being trafficked to meet demand in the UK. Don’t be the douchebag that turns a blind eye to the red flags...

You getting your rocks off because wifey ain’t feeling it does not negate your responsibility for being a responsible consumer.

Turning a blind eye and choosing to ignore warning signs makes you every bit as complicit in the crime as the men that traffic these women.

If you want to feel a little empathy for the non trafficked souls that find themselves fucking random blokes in order to feed their children, watch I, Daniel Blake... have tissues to hand...

Finally, you come home with an STD, expect your marching orders... you will deserve zero sympathy...

That said, you find a consenting, non exploited adult you want a financial transaction with - who cares... but maybe, just maybe... the money would be better spent on marriage counselling...

Just my tuppence worth...

 

[Bigspurt]

So - sexless marriage (me 52, her 48) as she’s not interested. I have a good SOH, lots of interests but dad bod and/or personality means I can’t get a friend with benefits or meet someone else.

Kind of OK with no sex or indeed any form of human contact at the moment, but thinking that in further I might turn to an escort for some intimacy (hopefully decent - £100-£150/hr)

Any other guys gone down this route? Any regrets? Wished you’d done it earlier?

Several times over the last 10 or so years
Several were fun. One had pussy lips so long you could tie them. Do me one of the best parts was that I could cum in their mouths.

 

[ComplexSituation]

I think there are so many sides to this situation.

I have to say the idea of an escort sounds so tempting, but like many people have pointed out, sex is more than a physical action. Without a connection or chemistry, will you get what you really need?
Sex brings people together, it builds a bond. With an escort, can you really do that?

I say, speak to your partner, see what you can really do. If sex is not an option, is that really the best place for you?

 

[carln3346]

I think the advice from Jada is spot on. Pay to play is also dangerous to your health.

If you just want some safe and no strings attached sex I recommend you join a local gym. Lots of married woman that are not being cared for at home.

They are often at the gym trying to look more sexy because they want to find the same thing you want to find.

It costs less than buying a hooker and you can upgrade your dad body.

I think most halfway descent looking guys with friendly manners could find a lonely wife that would be a safe fuck buddy at most gyms within less than a month.

Messages are turned off, Shelly

 

[StarGazer58]

This is an interesting topic. I have been approached by prostitutes in bars a couple of times but have always turned them down. it was mostly because I want the whole experience; kissing, caressing, exploring, licking, the whole foreplay thing but I am really don't want to kiss or go down on a prostitute. If it was just get it in and get it out then it would be fine.

That said, there are those that believe sex is something mysterious and can only be enjoyed in a relationship and those that believe that sex can just be fun and feel good. I believe in the latter so I have no problem if someone wants to use an escort to meet their sexual needs. I would say go for it and enjoy.

 

[penandpenis]

Some good suggestions made here already - just thought I'd add my two cents.

If you do decide to look into paying for some intimacy, safety is key. Don't ask for or accept any unprotected services unless you're looking for problems. If a working girl is offering those services, best bet is to give her a pass. Some may not like the idea of no natural sex - well then, escorts aren't for them. Much better to be safe than sorry.

I'd check out your local sex industry regulations to know what your rights are and what you're getting yourself into. Prostitution is legal and regulated by local government where I'm from, so I've got no worries there. Remember that you're paying for a service - you're entitled to what you pay for.
Other than that, be prepared to have to take some time to find the right sort of woman for you. You're a consumer here; look for someone that suits your needs and see what she is willing to offer. Some of your experiences may be rubbish, some may be wonderful. If you're completely turned off by the thought of being a consumer seeking a service, then maybe you need to rethink visiting an escort.
But meeting with a working woman doesn't have to be a cold blooded cash and goods exchange. Think of those small town businesses where you know the guy that owns the local goods (or whatever product) store. Not only do you pay for a service there, but you're on first name basis with the owner and have a good chat each time you're in to buy something.
That's what a good relationship with an escort can be like. Some genuinely love their work and will give you an amazing time complete with the whole girlfriend experience. Will it beat a friend with benefits scenario? Maybe not...but there's nothing keeping it from becoming better; and believe me when I tell you that there are those who do have what are essentially FWB style relationships with working girls.
Best of luck to you whatever you choose, and keep us posted!

 

[Spiritedlady]

Some good suggestions made here already - just thought I'd add my two cents.

If you do decide to look into paying for some intimacy, safety is key. Don't ask for or accept any unprotected services unless you're looking for problems. If a working girl is offering those services, best bet is to give her a pass. Some may not like the idea of no natural sex - well then, escorts aren't for them. Much better to be safe than sorry.

I'd check out your local sex industry regulations to know what your rights are and what you're getting yourself into. Prostitution is legal and regulated by local government where I'm from, so I've got no worries there. Remember that you're paying for a service - you're entitled to what you pay for.
Other than that, be prepared to have to take some time to find the right sort of woman for you. You're a consumer here; look for someone that suits your needs and see what she is willing to offer. Some of your experiences may be rubbish, some may be wonderful. If you're completely turned off by the thought of being a consumer seeking a service, then maybe you need to rethink visiting an escort.
But meeting with a working woman doesn't have to be a cold blooded cash and goods exchange. Think of those small town businesses where you know the guy that owns the local goods (or whatever product) store. Not only do you pay for a service there, but you're on first name basis with the owner and have a good chat each time you're in to buy something.
That's what a good relationship with an escort can be like. Some genuinely love their work and will give you an amazing time complete with the whole girlfriend experience. Will it beat a friend with benefits scenario? Maybe not...but there's nothing keeping it from becoming better; and believe me when I tell you that there are those who do have what are essentially FWB style relationships with working girls.
Best of luck to you whatever you choose, and keep us posted!

How do you know they genuinely love their work ?

 

[Spiritedlady]

Perhaps you could also help the OP identify a sex worker who loves her work and one who has been trafficked and has no choice? What are the signs ?

 

[Spiritedlady]

I met a young woman once. She was raised by a pretty strict religious family in a small village in Africa. She was the eldest of a number of siblings. One day an older lady, an “ Aunty” asked if she would be interested in travelling to the UK where she could help her with work and education. It was a really big opportunity and the family were delighted. The Aunty escorted the girl ( about 15/16 at this time) on the plane into London. On arrival she was put into a car and driven to a house in a suburban area where she remained for several months. Of course by now you realise that this was a brothel where she was required to service 20+ men a day. This girl didn’t even know what sex was.

So, I don’t want to stomp all over your vision of the “ Happy Hooker” but it isn’t all about YOU! And it really boils my piss that you discuss buying intimate services from someone as if it’s the same as buying a hammer in your fucking local hardware store. You do the due diligence, you make sure 100% that the sex worker is working freely, you treat her with respect, you pay up front, you do not haggle, you do not try and get more than you paid for. You do not speak of her afterwards like a piece of shit.

( apologies to any sex workers here who I know are more than capable of advocating for themselves)

I’ll get off my soap box