New to BDSM, New Feelings

[SpurtTheKobold]

So, as you can tell from the heading, I'm rather new to kink and BDSM. Been fantasizing about it for a very long time, but short of a few bondage games, light spanking, etc., I have almost no experience as a submissive--and those things just scratch the surface of the kinds of fantasies I have.

My wife has been reluctant for a long time to explore my kinks with me, but is recently opening herself up to it. After a lot of discussion over the past week, we actually did an impromptu scene today after I got home from work. It was short and sweet, and really minor--I simply gave her a bit of massage while calling her "Mistress" here and there.

But...the feelings that went with this scene were unbelievably intense for me. I want to submit to my wife out of love--to be her loving servant is one of my main goals in exploring this. I've been dying to call her Mistress lately, and we actually agreed that I could, even outside of scene space. To me, it just seemed it would be like calling her by a name that is synonymous with loving her.

It was a bit weird at first, but not in a bad way, just unusual. But the feelings associated with calling her by that name, and with submitting myself to her and serving her (even if it was just for a massage) were intense and powerful. I'm not even sure what they were, but I actually kind of wanted to cry. I never expected it, and I don't know what it was. It wasn't a bad feeling, or an upsetting one. And I was very turned on by the scene. I did decide afterward (and sought her permission, of course) that calling her Mistress is best left in scene space, for now.

I'm just processing it still, and I was wondering if anyone could offer insight as to what these feelings could be? Or what your first time submitting in a real life encounter was like? Has anyone been here before?

 

[SissySalina]

1. Euphoria

2. Euphoria

3. No one has ever returned from there.

Are those the answers you seek?

Most of the time the feeling of a submissive at first would be called finding your true purpose. It is that inner feeling of excitement of doing something great. The physical feeling is different for each individual but all know it is there.

 

[Jada59]

My first time was wonderful yet scary. We did not do "scenes" as you say and there was no formal contract or anything like that. In fact, I didn't even know him. I had met him at a club. We made a date, but we were so hot to see each other again, we met up at the same club before the arranged date. We didn't even finish our drinks. I said we should go back to my place.

Now I should add that while I can be rather random and spontaneous, I was not in the habit of sleeping around or hopping in bed with just anyone. But there was a strong attraction to this guy and it just seemed right.

I was living above a dance studio in an odd, old apartment. I had no couch. Just a daybed. Some of the interior doors had windows in them, so I tacked up scarves to cover them. I also had a scarf over the lampshade in my bedroom to soften the light.

We made out all the way up to my apartment. I remember getting us each a glass of wine. We were tussling around on the daybed in the living room and I kicked over the glass of wine. I was just so into him. I said something like... I don't care. It's just wine but don't get cut on the glass.

We stayed on the daybed for some time, playing around and fucking. Then he said we should go to bed.

We went into the bedroom, naked. He saw the scarf on the lamp and asked where the rest of my scarves were. I showed him the drawer. He took some out, used one as a blindfold and some others to tie me to the bed. Then he walked out. Said he would be right back.

This was the scary part because I had just read some story about a guy who hired a prostitute. She tied him up, then robbed him and left. He couldn't get out of the restraints! His housekeeper found him on Monday. Eek!

In my case though, he tied me very loosely. I could easily get out if I wanted to. He brought back a tray of things. Ice cubes, hot (not boiling water), and assorted things from the kitchen with different textures. What he did to me then caused no real pain but it was more like a sensory thing, never knowing what he might do next.

At some point, he asked if I had a belt and some clothespins. I did not. He told me to buy some. I knew then that this wasn't going to be a one night stand!

We went on from there. Lots of tying up. Breast bondage but only with scarves so nothing severe. Clothespins on breasts and genitals. Lots of use of one of the two belts I bought. And commands. Such as telling me to suck him. He knew I loved doing that so that command really turned me on but... There was also some torture there because he never allowed me to keep sucking him. Just a taste here and there. Drove me nuts because I wanted it so much.

He might also tell me to take my clothes off or do things in public. He never really asked. Just told me to do these things and I willingly did because he was so fucking hot!

We didn't have any kind of nicknames for each other and he also let me take control when I wanted to. I would just sort of look at him and give him a command. Sometimes he would comply right away. Other times he would tease me and not do whatever it was I wanted right away. But he wasn't mean about it. Always smiling and laughing. Always a lot of fun!

 

[Lascivity]

The first time of doing anything new is bound to be somewhat intense. These feelings are good feelings, but they can be a little difficult to manage. Fortunately, as time goes on and you explore further they should get at least a little easier to deal with. Keep exploring, keep communicating with your partner, and see where it takes you.

And, while you're at it, don't forget to enjoy yourself. It's all for fun, after all.

 

[sub2femdom]

When a sexy, dominant woman commands me to do something, nearly anything, I get butterflies in my stomach, even my nipples buzz a little bit, and my brain turns to goo. It's this moment that I'm in the most perfect place and time on earth that I want to be. It's kind of like your first kiss.. all those emotions wrapped up into an explosive little ball...

The wonderful thing about submission for me is that unlike the first kiss or even first intercourse, the buzz never wears off. After close to 5 years of experimenting, playing, and submitting, I get that same feeling today, and it's just as strong as the first time.

If my statements fit, then it sounds like you found your place Spurt.

 

[Daddysslut1968]

1st time submission

It helps to have an experienced Dom who wants u as a submissive as much as you want/need to b their sub. I found my Daddy/dom here and it's been the best and I have never regretted it. He introduced me to things I never knew I wanted and now need. Hang in there though... You sound like a true submissive. Give yourself time to adjust to the new feelings... U won't regret it

 

[Knoturnal]

to submit to my wife out of love--to be her loving servant is one of my main goals in exploring this.

with submitting myself to her and serving her (even if it was just for a massage) were intense and powerful.
Has anyone been here before?

im sure there are several reasons from loving the kick of doing it (come on.....lots do) and lots of others meanings as not everyone likes to control everything and love the release of control

you said it SERVICE. you stated it twice. that has always been what I've been told the purpose of being submissive to someone is if it actually has a meaning that can be described.

 

[cookiecat]

Not sure if the OP will come back?

Thought I'd put this out there for anyone reading. There are some good threads about the subject of "sub frenzy." Most are in reference to unpartnered submissives needing to be wary of unknown Dominants. That clearly isn't the case here. Some of the info, though, on the physical and emotional changes that happen is good to know.

Here's just one thread I found useful:

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=1331812&highlight=frenzy


The other thing I'd like to bring up without stepping on any toes is that this is YOUR desire. Your fantasy coming true. All of these intense feelings are happening to you. It sounds like you and the Mrs have open communication. Is she feeling the same? Is she getting her needs met? A massage is nice and all. Does she want you to be submissive to her??

As Knocturnal pointed out, it sounds like these feelings are happening because you are in service to your wife as an expression of your love. Is that how she wants you to express your love to her?

Sounds like a great start to making a fantasy come to life. I wish you and your wife the best!

 

[Erosfan]

Not sure if the OP will come back?

Thought I'd put this out there for anyone reading. There are some good threads about the subject of "sub frenzy." Most are in reference to unpartnered submissives needing to be wary of unknown Dominants. That clearly isn't the case here. Some of the info, though, on the physical and emotional changes that happen is good to know.

Here's just one thread I found useful:

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=1331812&highlight=frenzy


The other thing I'd like to bring up without stepping on any toes is that this is YOUR desire. Your fantasy coming true. All of these intense feelings are happening to you. It sounds like you and the Mrs have open communication. Is she feeling the same? Is she getting her needs met? A massage is nice and all. Does she want you to be submissive to her??

As Knocturnal pointed out, it sounds like these feelings are happening because you are in service to your wife as an expression of your love. Is that how she wants you to express your love to her?

Sounds like a great start to making a fantasy come to life. I wish you and your wife the best!

Excellent points. I have come to realize that my fantasies drive my desires. My wish to serve the love of my life is based in my desires and I can only hope to get her to at least participate in that.

 

[cookiecat]

Excellent points. I have come to realize that my fantasies drive my desires. My wish to serve the love of my life is based in my desires and I can only hope to get her to at least participate in that.

Perhaps figuring out what her desires are and incorporating them in to your service to her would be a win win for both of you?? (If you haven't already done that)