Can Role Playing be Taught?

[zzsal]

I've tried it a couple of times and it just went in a different direction that I had hoped. Maybe I just don't have the imagination that suits role playing.

 

[mancsman]

I've tried it a couple of times and it just went in a different direction that I had hoped. Maybe I just don't have the imagination that suits role playing.

I think anything can be taught.

 

[joe432]

I think expectations, likes/dislikes, and play styles need to be discussed upfront. It’s impossible to just jump into something and expect things to work out

 

[Stilllearning2b]

I've tried it a couple of times and it just went in a different direction that I had hoped. Maybe I just don't have the imagination that suits role playing.

Are you male or female?

My experience watching men trying to role play through the written word is they are just trying to get to the sex.

No character development, no context, no setting the mood. Role Plays IMHO are not just a vehicle to the “sex”.

 

[HornyHal]

I think expectations, likes/dislikes, and play styles need to be discussed upfront. It’s impossible to just jump into something and expect things to work out

I think you both put it well. For one yes everything needs to be established up front and yes for most men, myself included role play is just a vehicle for cyber sex, however in my case I am a descriptive RPer and it drives me insane when the person I am RPing with replies back with a one word or one sentence response to my paragraph of description or dialogue.

 

[joe432]

I think you both put it well. For one yes everything needs to be established up front and yes for most men, myself included role play is just a vehicle for cyber sex, however in my case I am a descriptive RPer and it drives me insane when the person I am RPing with replies back with a one word or one sentence response to my paragraph of description or dialogue.

Exactly it drives me crazy when I’m painting a mental picture for this person and they reply with a single line. I’d nothing else help advance the story lol

 

[sallycee]

You probably don't need to learn, rather just to find someone with a similar style of RP-ing.
So many different styles...... and then also to find someone with mutual interests....
So...... keep on experimenting to find someone compatible..... Good Luck!!

 

[jp55665566]

RPing is much easier with pics/gifs, right?

 

[sdsioux]

You probably don't need to learn, rather just to find someone with a similar style of RP-ing.
So many different styles...... and then also to find someone with mutual interests....
So...... keep on experimenting to find someone compatible..... Good Luck!!

agree.you must find the same likes

 

[TalkToMeInSB]

I think you both put it well. For one yes everything needs to be established up front and yes for most men, myself included role play is just a vehicle for cyber sex, however in my case I am a descriptive RPer and it drives me insane when the person I am RPing with replies back with a one word or one sentence response to my paragraph of description or dialogue.

This!!!

 

[AnnieLit]

RPing is much easier with pics/gifs, right?

Yes and no. If you use a picture once in a while to set the mood or to illustrate something your partner might not be familiar with, than pictures are a great help.

If you start using them in every other reply, then it is not going to work for anybody with visual imagination. Because they already see it somehow in their mind and you bringing new images destroys their constructed world. I can adjust it every now and them to fit an occasional picture in, but I am not going to be happy if all you are giving me is a barrage of googled porn.

Plus don't forget that in general men are much more likely to like visual aids than women. I am VERY particular in what images I like and I would think I am not the only one like this.

 

[FAITHandFLESH]

You have to have a VERY good imagination to write something that you have not experienced...

And even if you have experienced it, words must be your weapon of choice to convey that EMOTIONS that go along with the acts...

 

[AnnieLit]

words must be your weapon of choice to convey that EMOTIONS that go along with the acts...

Presumably, this is why all of us are on Lit and not on one of the other 5000 sex-related sites

 

[Hatsjikkiedee]

Hahaha. This exactly. Although it also depends on my mood. When I want to get off with someone, a decent mental picture is enough. When I want to go all out and take 2/2.5 hours.. I want a full background before going into the sexual part of the role play

Presumably, this is why all of us are on Lit and not on one of the other 5000 sex-related sites

 

[Scareltt]

Practice, practice, practice..

Like anything else practice. Also the best roleplay partners I know started out as friends. These relationships didn’t develop over night. Roleplay scenes didn’t just come out of no where. Some of them are very complex and couldn’t of been developed as purely sexual.

Get to know your chat partner and establish a friendship, then practice, practice, practice. You’ll get there..

 

[zzsal]

Thanks to all the folks who replied. I think my expectations were too high and I expected my partner(s) to be in sync with where I was pushing the scenario, obviously misguided..lol

I'll attempt it again and try to be more flexible.

 

[AnnieLit]

Thanks to all the folks who replied. I think my expectations were too high and I expected my partner(s) to be in sync with where I was pushing the scenario, obviously misguided..lol

I'll attempt it again and try to be more flexible.

It usually helps to talk a bit beforehand about where it all should end up at.

Plus take a page from the BDSM book - try to talk about limits. Only don't call them that, or you might scare her away. LOL. Call it... I don't know... "What I don't like" list and go first, so she will have an idea of what you are talking about. It can be anything that you really don't like (no underage, no incest), anything silly ("no peanut butter!"), or anything that in general you might like, but not today ("please, no uniforms"). If you can tie your "not like" items to the already selected theme, even better.

 

[The_gladiator]

I personally think pictures in a roleplay are lazy. But, I am biased as a writer I think description should be done with words. I am also aware that others have different opinions.

everyone has their own style or view of what rp is. is it creative co-writing. Is it cybersex without playing oneself. Is it written in third person, is it written in first person. Sometimes even things like that need to be discussed.

Yes I have had roleplays that did not end up where I wanted them to, but sometimes that's ok because part of the appeal to me of roleplaying is not knowing exactly where the other person might take it. There's a lot of good stuff in this thread.

like most things yes I think it can be taught. There might be people who have more natural talent for something but sometimes practice can make up for that or the right partner for you can make a world of difference as well.

 

[Jada59]

I'm going to say, "no". Why? I can't seem to do it nor am I interested in doing it. I am a dancer and I have done acting. Sometimes in dance and for sure with acting, I was playing a role but to me, that's not the same as role playing.

If I want sex, or even sexting, I want to be me! Sure, there have been times, especially with sexting where I did/said things that I wouldn't ordinarily do. But I can't keep doing that stuff. If I try, I get bored.

I do have a very good imagination. I just don't get the RP stuff.

 

[AnnieLit]

I'm going to say, "no". Why? I can't seem to do it nor am I interested in doing it. I am a dancer and I have done acting. Sometimes in dance and for sure with acting, I was playing a role but to me, that's not the same as role playing.

If I want sex, or even sexting, I want to be me! Sure, there have been times, especially with sexting where I did/said things that I wouldn't ordinarily do. But I can't keep doing that stuff. If I try, I get bored.

I do have a very good imagination. I just don't get the RP stuff.

Jada, who said that in RPing you have to play somebody, who is not you? Sure, there are SciFi scenarios out there, or vampires, or anything else, but I alway play me and only me.

This roleplaying "me" might be meeting a new guy at a bar and going home with him, while the real me have never done that and not very interested in ever doing it this way, but as soon as we get to his house, there is no roleplaying left - I am talking about my actions and feelings, my reactions to what he does. This is ME having sex.

 

[Jada59]

Jada, who said that in RPing you have to play somebody, who is not you? Sure, there are SciFi scenarios out there, or vampires, or anything else, but I alway play me and only me.

This roleplaying "me" might be meeting a new guy at a bar and going home with him, while the real me have never done that and very interested in doing, but as soon as we get to his house, there is no roleplaying left - I am talking about my actions and feelings, my reactions to what he does. This is ME having sex.

Well... I've just never done anything like that on here. Sure I have met a guy in a bar IRL, but when I sext someone, we generally just concentrate on the sex stuff. Sometimes a story will come out of it though. Not sure what I would call that.

 

[zzsal]

Having read all the posts I'm beginning to think that the reason it doesn't work for me is that I'm selfish....I'm going into it thinking about my needs and my partner is thinking about his needs and we're both pushing the story in opposite directions...lol I'm just not flexible enough....

Now that I've written that....perhaps my scenarios should all be about me being a Dom and forcing my partner to bend to my will...LOL (joke)

Sally

 

[StarGazer58]

Isn't the whole purpose of role playing is to play out a scenario that might happen in real life where you don't know where it is going but are following each others thoughts and leads? If you met somebody in a bar or some cute meet like in a rom-com, you don't know how that is going to be played out so isn't that the fun in role-playing. To me it would be like the fun and excitement of meeting somebody new, seeing where things go.

If you already have the flow planned out, why not just write the story and let that be your playtime.

For me role playing is just too slow. I am probably not quick witted enough and it takes me time to write down my thoughts so if it takes me 5 minutes or longer to think of the next step and write it down and it takes her her 5 minutes to respond I would have lost any arousal over that 10 minutes or so. Now a role play in real life sounds much more interesting.

 

[AnnieLit]

Having read all the posts I'm beginning to think that the reason it doesn't work for me is that I'm selfish....I'm going into it thinking about my needs and my partner is thinking about his needs and we're both pushing the story in opposite directions...lol I'm just not flexible enough....

Now that I've written that....perhaps my scenarios should all be about me being a Dom and forcing my partner to bend to my will...LOL (joke)

Sally

Who knows, you might actually like it... There is a chat room on Lit for submissives, filled mostely with 30-60 y.o. men. Some of them will want things from you that you will have no idea how to do, but you might find people there that are just looking for some strong hand and direction, and will be happy to go wherever you lead them.

 

[The_gladiator]

Having read all the posts I'm beginning to think that the reason it doesn't work for me is that I'm selfish....I'm going into it thinking about my needs and my partner is thinking about his needs and we're both pushing the story in opposite directions...lol I'm just not flexible enough....

Now that I've written that....perhaps my scenarios should all be about me being a Dom and forcing my partner to bend to my will...LOL (joke)

Sally

This in a way compares to real life in a real life sexual situation both partner’s needs need seen to. Roleplay can just be another form of it. But sometimes in real life it’s ok to be selfish and some partners enjoy that, you could likewise probably find someone in an rp to follow that. Or better yet find someone that wants something more similar to what you want.