The Isolated Blurt Thread XXVIII : In Praise of Older Yoga Pants

[Luk]

What's your monthly payment on something like that?

Dafuq is a monthly payment?

 

[Que]

Dafuq is a monthly payment?

I assume you would know it as "easy credit." You know that thing you sign to get stuff now and pay over time for the stuff Mom doesn't give you through work?

That payment you have to send in every month, or the dunning notices, calls and repossessions happen is called a "monthly payment."

Don't feel stupid (over specifically that) though, none of you rent-to-own types ever read the contracts.

 

[dolf]

Edward V swans

We took the beasts to a riverside pub last night. Gloriously sunny evening, cold drinks, beasts swimming happily, when a pair of swans come tearing towards them. Fluffed up, wings arched, beak open, hissing and charging. Charles immediately vacates the river. Edward ignores the noisy newcomers and continues in his favourite activity of swimming happily in circles. Or he continued until the swans were four feet away. At which point he turns towards them, rears up, and charges. The swans visibly "ah fuck!", Turn and retreat. So Edward instantly turns back to swimming in circles. Swans aren't smart, so this is repeated three times before they figure out that Edward is a live and let live intruder, dropped the attack, and after a few minutes they looked quite relaxed. Edward was perfectly happy to share the river, and that was a good thing.

The initial conflict was seconds long, barely time for us to react, but once it was clear that all was cool, we both had a laugh about the political skills of Edward. He has no macho, aggressive point to prove, because he's a big, tough bastard and he knows it. He doesn't discriminate, he has no bigotry towards those of other cultures or species. He holds no grudges and doesn't fret that it's showing weakness to allow second, third, fourth chances. He should be president!

No swans were injured in the making of this anecdote.

 

[thør]

Edward for PM!

 

[dolf]

Save taxpayers money. Pay politicians in kibble.

 

[thør]

Our state legislators are fucking the dog. They might as well eat like 'em too.

 

[Que]

We took the beasts to a riverside pub last night. Gloriously sunny evening, cold drinks, beasts swimming happily, when a pair of swans come tearing towards them. Fluffed up, wings arched, beak open, hissing and charging. Charles immediately vacates the river. Edward ignores the noisy newcomers and continues in his favourite activity of swimming happily in circles. Or he continued until the swans were four feet away. At which point he turns towards them, rears up, and charges. The swans visibly "ah fuck!", Turn and retreat. So Edward instantly turns back to swimming in circles. Swans aren't smart, so this is repeated three times before they figure out that Edward is a live and let live intruder, dropped the attack, and after a few minutes they looked quite relaxed. Edward was perfectly happy to share the river, and that was a good thing.

The initial conflict was seconds long, barely time for us to react, but once it was clear that all was cool, we both had a laugh about the political skills of Edward. He has no macho, aggressive point to prove, because he's a big, tough bastard and he knows it. He doesn't discriminate, he has no bigotry towards those of other cultures or species. He holds no grudges and doesn't fret that it's showing weakness to allow second, third, fourth chances. He should be president!

No swans were injured in the making of this anecdote.

That was a great story made even better with the anthropomorpism.

Flesh that out a bit so that a reader who doesn't know who Edward is would have a fuller picture of the scene and I think that's publishable. Something over there like The New Yorker or The Atlantic

 

[BotanyBoy]

Drove through LA today.....thought it was on fire again but it was just smog and the stink of dumpster juice.

I think they have more homeless tent cities than the bay area, what a fucking shit hole.

California? Good riddance.....hello clean air and junkie/litter/graffiti free neighborhoods with cops that do their jobs and fuck criminals up.

Can’t wait to get back to the house and do some pike fishing.

 

[adrina]

I think Saturday mornings are my favorite time of the week.

 

[pantalaimonlyra]

The fireflies are getting their freak on in my backyard.

!!!!!!

I love firefly season.

 

[oralaccents]

Drove through LA today.....thought it was on fire again but it was just smog and the stink of dumpster juice.

I think they have more homeless tent cities than the bay area, what a fucking shit hole.

California? Good riddance.....hello clean air and junkie/litter/graffiti free neighborhoods with cops that do their jobs and fuck criminals up.

Can’t wait to get back to the house and do some pike fishing.

A relative just bought a house in the Hollywood hills. I was looking forward to visiting. Should I fuggetaboutit?

 

[Saint Peter]

!!!!!!

I love firefly season.

There seem to be more of them this year. Life is booming, especially down in the trees.

 

[Adre]

Drove through LA today.....thought it was on fire again but it was just smog and the stink of dumpster juice.

I think they have more homeless tent cities than the bay area, what a fucking shit hole.

California? Good riddance.....hello clean air and junkie/litter/graffiti free neighborhoods with cops that do their jobs and fuck criminals up.

Can’t wait to get back to the house and do some pike fishing.

Minnesota, right? Don’t forget to say hello to six months of frozen tundra and two months of scorching heat with mosquitoes the size of drones.

 

[raindancer]

Is the priest on Fleabag, Moriarty from Sherlock?

 

[Damariscotta]

Is the priest on Fleabag, Moriarty from Sherlock?

You betcha.

 

[pointless]

apparently.

 

[raindancer]

I like him even more!

I think I will binge Sherlock if the weather is wonky. Fuck the lawn.

 

[pointless]

that's weird to me. moriarty is half the reason i checked out of sherlock. the other half was that shit where sherlock's magic brain turned a lesbian straight because stephen moffat is a queerbaiting piece of shit.

 

[raindancer]

Bwhahaha!

 

[Saint Peter]

Come pull weeds!

I am killing green things this weekend. It brings me much joy and dirty socks.

 

[RobDownSouth]

Minnesota, right? Don’t forget to say hello to six months of frozen tundra and two months of scorching heat with mosquitoes the size of drones.

I seriously doubt he'll last one winter up there in White Wakanda.

 

[pointless]

Come pull weeds!

I am killing green things this weekend. It brings me much joy and dirty socks.

stop worrying about your fucking lawn. go plant some damned trees.

 

[raindancer]

Come pull weeds!

I am killing green things this weekend. It brings me much joy and dirty socks.

Don't kill green things!
Come saw some limbs! The storms yesterday brought a lot down.

 

[RobDownSouth]

Don't kill green things!
Come saw some limbs! The storms yesterday brought a lot down.

Putting a chainsaw in St. Pete's hands would not be considered a good life choice to most people.

 

[raindancer]

I don't like playing with saws. And it's too warm to wield the axe.