What would you do?

[Justadude64]

OK guys, what would you do in this situation? Ladies, if you care to chime in please feel free to doso,

In this scenario you are 45 healthy. Sexually very active with your wife. 10 years later, you now 55, you've had some spinal cord injuries that has caused about a 50% loss in feeling in your cock, which has caused issues in staying erect and achieving orgasm with your wife. Masturbation no longer works. The only thing that works is oral from your wife. She has grown to be less interested in performing oral sex and has developed a distaste for your semen.
You both still love eachother very much but the lack of sex life is wearing on you. You offered to allow your wife to get her needs fulfilled by another man but will have no part of it.

How would you handle this?

 

[Chris_Michael]

I would suggest to my wife that we seek professional help from a doctor and maybe psych/marriage counseling.

Do it early before it becomes a marriage-ending problem. But if you’re on Lit, it may be too late.

 

[TheFatGuy2016]

I assume your hands and mouth are still functional, so are you taking care of her?

 

[Justadude64]

I would suggest to my wife that we seek professional help from a doctor and maybe psych/marriage counseling.

Do it early before it becomes a marriage-ending problem. But if you’re on Lit, it may be too late.

I'm not looking for hookups. Just opinions.

 

[Justadude64]

I assume your hands and mouth are still functional, so are you taking care of her?

My hands and mouth work completely fine. And I do make several attempts to make sure she is taken care of. She shows no interest.

 

[Spiritedlady]

OK guys, what would you do in this situation? Ladies, if you care to chime in please feel free to doso,

In this scenario you are 45 healthy. Sexually very active with your wife. 10 years later, you now 55, you've had some spinal cord injuries that has caused about a 50% loss in feeling in your cock, which has caused issues in staying erect and achieving orgasm with your wife. Masturbation no longer works. The only thing that works is oral from your wife. She has grown to be less interested in performing oral sex and has developed a distaste for your semen.
You both still love eachother very much but the lack of sex life is wearing on you. You offered to allow your wife to get her needs fulfilled by another man but will have no part of it.

How would you handle this?

What have the Drs said about the erectile disfunction? Are there any therapies that exist that could assist with that as an issue?

 

[Justadude64]

What have the Drs said about the erectile disfunction? Are there any therapies that exist that could assist with that as an issue?

This was caused by a condition called cauda equina syndrome. It's a condition that pinches off the nerves in the spine that leads to the lower extremities. If caught in time one could fully recover. Mine wasnt caught in time. Constant pain seems to be a lasting symptom. Thrusting the pelvis increases the pain. The next step they say is fusion. At that point I'd just rather eat a bullet. Trying to salvage as much of what once was a very healthy sexual relationship, but in order for anything to work, stimulation is required. When initiating anything, there is either no response, or change the subject. When she does decide to have fun, she is VERY VERY satisfied by her Womanizer toy.

 

[MrDevereaux]

Therapy, talking to your wife about things

High fruit diet. Bananas, pineapples, apples ...

 

[Justadude64]

This was caused by a condition called cauda equina syndrome. It's a condition that pinches off the nerves in the spine that leads to the lower extremities. If caught in time one could fully recover. Mine wasnt caught in time. Constant pain seems to be a lasting symptom. Thrusting the pelvis increases the pain. The next step they say is fusion. At that point I'd just rather eat a bullet. Trying to salvage as much of what once was a very healthy sexual relationship, but in order for anything to work, stimulation is required. When initiating anything, there is either no response, or change the subject. When she does decide to have fun, she is VERY VERY satisfied by her Womanizer toy.

Also, all doctors try to do is address the pain with more medications which the side effects is ED

 

[Jada59]

That's very sad. I assume that she's around your age. Perhaps there are things going on with her that are causing her sex drive to dwindle? Has she gone into menopause? When I did, it caused my sex drive to get even stronger but I gather that for most women, the opposite can happen. Hormones get out of whack, vaginal dryness, tissue thinning. Sex can be painful.

Have you asked her about any of this? See... I'm different because I am pretty much an open book but I think a lot of women are reluctant to talk about this stuff, especially with their partner. They are all too quick to assume this sort of stuff is normal and it's going to be like this for the rest of their life. It doesn't have to be.

Worse still, a lot of Drs. will just blow this off because they don't seem to think that sex is all that important for a woman. So if she does bring it up with her Dr., she might not get anywhere.

If I were you, I'd try talking things over with her. That should help. Unless she is not willing to discuss it.

 

[Jada59]

Also, all doctors try to do is address the pain with more medications which the side effects is ED

Wow. That's not good. Spine stuff is tricky. I know people who have had surgery and it only made things worse.

I do have nerve damage myself. Not to that area but the pain is no fun at at least for me, pain meds don't do a thing except cause side effects.

 

[glBock]

a suggestion to you, Justadude

If your description of your problem is accurate, and I have no reason to doubt that, including the description of your wife's reaction to your predicament, there appears only one solution to this: change your sexual partner!

If need be by engaging a propfessional for that.

I imagine it hurts mightily, to get as little cooperation from your wife. Would she at least be willing to seek professional counseling help? Or is she quite happy with her Womanizer alternative?

 

[hangdawg]

OK guys, what would you do in this situation? Ladies, if you care to chime in please feel free to doso,

In this scenario you are 45 healthy. Sexually very active with your wife. 10 years later, you now 55, you've had some spinal cord injuries that has caused about a 50% loss in feeling in your cock, which has caused issues in staying erect and achieving orgasm with your wife. Masturbation no longer works. The only thing that works is oral from your wife. She has grown to be less interested in performing oral sex and has developed a distaste for your semen.
You both still love eachother very much but the lack of sex life is wearing on you. You offered to allow your wife to get her needs fulfilled by another man but will have no part of it.

How would you handle this?

Good Morning. Everyone has an opinion so as many people respond you'll likely have opinions.
My two cents - if it's legal in your state give Kratom a try for the pain. I'm not going to say it's a miracle cure or anything like that but my wife uses it for pain management and I use it for some other issues. In my researching it for my issues I came across an extremely large number of people who use it for pain.
I won't say it'll take away everything but maybe help enough to cut down some pain meds so the ED may not be as much a problem.
It's not horribly expensive and you can get it to your door in a couple days. It's a plant so the side effects, at least on me, are very minimal. Certainly more bearable than the side effects for my reasons for taking it.

 

[Tigra1984]

Have you tried stimulating your prostrate to achieve an erection and possible orgasm? I would suggest lots of talking before you let her step outside of the marriage because that just opens a whole new can of worms but I give you props for thinking of her and wanting her to be satisfied. I agree with some people’s statements that it could also be her. As we age our hormone levels change and we often keep these things to ourselves when we have changes to our body. My husband uses Kratom for his depression and he has made mention it reduces his knee pain as well so that might be something to look into as well.

 

[Justadude64]

Have you tried stimulating your prostrate to achieve an erection and possible orgasm? I would suggest lots of talking before you let her step outside of the marriage because that just opens a whole new can of worms but I give you props for thinking of her and wanting her to be satisfied. I agree with some people’s statements that it could also be her. As we age our hormone levels change and we often keep these things to ourselves when we have changes to our body. My husband uses Kratom for his depression and he has made mention it reduces his knee pain as well so that might be something to look into as well.

Isn't kratom habit forming?

 

[Justadude64]

Have you tried stimulating your prostrate to achieve an erection and possible orgasm? I would suggest lots of talking before you let her step outside of the marriage because that just opens a whole new can of worms but I give you props for thinking of her and wanting her to be satisfied. I agree with some people’s statements that it could also be her. As we age our hormone levels change and we often keep these things to ourselves when we have changes to our body. My husband uses Kratom for his depression and he has made mention it reduces his knee pain as well so that might be something to look into as well.

No haven't done the prostate trick. I will keep that in mind.

 

[Justadude64]

Good Morning. Everyone has an opinion so as many people respond you'll likely have opinions.
My two cents - if it's legal in your state give Kratom a try for the pain. I'm not going to say it's a miracle cure or anything like that but my wife uses it for pain management and I use it for some other issues. In my researching it for my issues I came across an extremely large number of people who use it for pain.
I won't say it'll take away everything but maybe help enough to cut down some pain meds so the ED may not be as much a problem.
It's not horribly expensive and you can get it to your door in a couple days. It's a plant so the side effects, at least on me, are very minimal. Certainly more bearable than the side effects for my reasons for taking it.

I've heard that Kratom can be habit forming

 

[Justadude64]

If your description of your problem is accurate, and I have no reason to doubt that, including the description of your wife's reaction to your predicament, there appears only one solution to this: change your sexual partner!

If need be by engaging a propfessional for that.

I imagine it hurts mightily, to get as little cooperation from your wife. Would she at least be willing to seek professional counseling help? Or is she quite happy with her Womanizer alternative?

That womanizer is money well spent. She can bring herself to multiple orgasms within minutes. Sometimes it makes her squirt and she isn't a squirter. I am by no means employed by or affiliated with the the people that make the womanizer, if you don't have one, get one. You will not be disappointed. I thought it was a bit pricey. But the sales lady told us about her experience with it. Offered us a money back guarantee. Best money spent. Ever.

 

[Justadude64]

That's very sad. I assume that she's around your age. Perhaps there are things going on with her that are causing her sex drive to dwindle? Has she gone into menopause? When I did, it caused my sex drive to get even stronger but I gather that for most women, the opposite can happen. Hormones get out of whack, vaginal dryness, tissue thinning. Sex can be painful.

Have you asked her about any of this? See... I'm different because I am pretty much an open book but I think a lot of women are reluctant to talk about this stuff, especially with their partner. They are all too quick to assume this sort of stuff is normal and it's going to be like this for the rest of their life. It doesn't have to be.

Worse still, a lot of Drs. will just blow this off because they don't seem to think that sex is all that important for a woman. So if she does bring it up with her Dr., she might not get anywhere.

If I were you, I'd try talking things over with her. That should help. Unless she is not willing to discuss it.

She has a hard time discussing it. Changes the subject.

 

[glBock]

That womanizer is money well spent. She can bring herself to multiple orgasms within minutes. Sometimes it makes her squirt and she isn't a squirter. I am by no means employed by or affiliated with the the people that make the womanizer, if you don't have one, get one. You will not be disappointed. I thought it was a bit pricey. But the sales lady told us about her experience with it. Offered us a money back guarantee. Best money spent. Ever.

I know personally, what wonders the Womanizer can achieve, no need to convince me. The question I asked you was. "is she ready for counseling therapy?" Because the problems regarding your sex life stem from her, not you.

 

[PWilton]

OK guys, what would you do in this situation? Ladies, if you care to chime in please feel free to doso,

In this scenario you are 45 healthy. Sexually very active with your wife. 10 years later, you now 55, you've had some spinal cord injuries that has caused about a 50% loss in feeling in your cock, which has caused issues in staying erect and achieving orgasm with your wife. Masturbation no longer works. The only thing that works is oral from your wife. She has grown to be less interested in performing oral sex and has developed a distaste for your semen.
You both still love each other very much but the lack of sex life is wearing on you. You offered to allow your wife to get her needs fulfilled by another man but will have no part of it.

How would you handle this?

At my age of 82, I have ED also. My personal solution is this:

https://media.medmartonline.com/cat...b33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95/e/n/enc44019001.jpg

With the vacuum pump and cock rings, I am able to have very satisfactory erections which last as long as I wear the ring. Yes, it is kind of clumsy, but in the absence of the natural process, this works a treat. Fairly cheap, I paid about $100 for it. Be glad to discuss details.

 

[Tigra1984]

My husband has not formed a habit of using it no. He only takes it when his anxiety is really high and needs to take the edge off. Medicine just makes him feel like a zombie and he doesn’t want to feel that way. Weed is his preferred choice for his depression and anxiety but that has way to many hoops to jump through to obtain it legally and is habit forming which I don’t like. But the sex is pretty good on the weed however lol there is two sides to every story.

 

[Justadude64]

I know personally, what wonders the Womanizer can achieve, no need to convince me. The question I asked you was. "is she ready for counseling therapy?" Because the problems regarding your sex life stem from her, not you.

Is she willing? Yes. Is she ready? I don't think so...

 

[glBock]

Is she willing? Yes. Is she ready? I don't think so...

I can only wish you good luck then!

 

[Justadude64]

I can only wish you good luck then!

Thank you for your insight