male anal fingering advice? and general questions on M/M experiences

[toesinmymouth]

I'm a guy (19 ys/o) who recently realized I'm bisexual - the idea of being intimate, erotic, and sexual with another guy now turns me on just as much if not more so than with a woman. Sucking cock, getting head from another guy, riding dick or getting my own dick ridden - the whole 9 yards. I haven't yet acted on any of this outside the privacy of my own bedroom.

My main query here comes from anal play. A few days ago, I decided to finally give anal play a go. I read up a bit about it and found the most important advice to be lubrication and relaxation. I got on my bed, face-down, got my forefinger well lubricated, and stuck my ass up in the air - I had seen a diagram somewhat similar to this position while researching.
I placed my finger at the top of my crack and stroked down until I found my butt hole. At the hole I pressed the tip of my finger in, and didn't feel all that much besides the pressure on the hole from my finger. Once I started to properly penetrate with my finger though, and really pushed it in, I DEFINITELY felt something. This is where this story stops feeling erotic, because I'm not gonna lie, it wasn't my favorite feeling in the world. It felt like I was taking a really big shit, if I'm being honest. I went slowly, and pushed my finger as far in as I felt comfortable going (a centimeter past the second knuckle on my forefinger, more or less) and I think my finger came into contact with something down there, maybe it didn't though, I'm not sure as I could have just imagined that as I was so nervous. I pulled out slowly and jacked off for a few minutes, and then got facedown and tried again, same process. Again, it felt uncomfortable. In the end I pulled it out and just jacked off normally.

Here are my questions (and if you have anything to point out about everything I just outlined then PLEASE please do!):
1. Is there a specific way I am supposed to place my finger down there? I'm aware the male G-spot is there, so did I just not find it? Is there a specific direction or angle my finger needs to be at? (a diagram or picture could really help)
2. I wasn't able to take a shit for the rest of that day. Even the next day, it was a struggle. Is this normal? Does it have something to do with me just having poor fingering technique?


Also a couple questions I have just on M/M sex in general:
1. In all the gay porn I've watched, the guy receiving the dick generally has a soft dick himself. I rarely see a guy getting fucked with a hard dick. Does this match up with any experiences you guys have had? And would it have something to do with the uncomfortable feeling from anal?
2. I've researched how unsafe, medically speaking, M/M can be in terms of infections and the like. Are there any tips you guys have on avoiding this? I also intend, in the near future, to use Grindr to find a guy for me to have sex with. I've never sucked a dick (I fully intend to though, believe you me), or gotten fucked by one (again, not for long), and I don't know too much about these infections aside from how unappealing they are lol. If a guy I am about to be sexual with has an infection of some sort, will I be able to clearly tell? Are there guaranteed to be symptoms present on his face/genitals? If there are NO symptoms present on his face/genitals, does that guarantee he doesn't have an infection?


Would greatly appreciate answers to really any of these questions, as I have no experience in this department, and I am very eager to learn (and trust me, the learning will also be 'hands-on' if you know what I mean).

Also I can not articulate how satisfying and relieving it is for me to get this all down for other people to read, especially in a place with people who are just like me in this regard, in a space where we're all safely and comfortably gay, sexual, and proud.

So thank you all in advance!!

 

[klippert]

can't wait for all the gay sex therapy on this thread

 

[Astroman72]

1. In all the gay porn I've watched, the guy receiving the dick generally has a soft dick himself. I rarely see a guy getting fucked with a hard dick. Does this match up with any experiences you guys have had? And would it have something to do with the uncomfortable feeling from anal?

I've never been with a guy, but I do have a lot of experience with anal play and toys.

I've noticed the same thing in lots of videos, and no, that doesn't match up with my experience at all. When I'm riding a dildo, or engaging in any type of anal play, I'm rock-hard until I cum. In fact, when I see those videos, I'm thinking to myself "you've got a guy's beautiful, big, warm, hard cock sliding into your ass--how is it possible to not be hard? I think I would have trouble not cumming in 5 seconds!"

On the other hand, once I was in a new relationship with a woman, and I really liked her and she was my total sexual fantasy. The first time we were intimate, things progressed a lot faster than I was expecting, and I got performance anxiety and couldn't get hard. And of course, as soon as she left, I was completely hard again. And I imagine most guys seeing that would say "how is it possible you weren't hard with her right in front of you, wanting it?

So I guess my point is that even though we all have the same physiology, the wiring between sexual arousal in the brain and what happens with the body is incredibly complex and can vary greatly for a lot of different reasons.

But other than that, maybe anal play is just not something you enjoy. I loved fingering myself pretty much right from the first time I tried it.

 

[Hitchiker69]

I'd suggest you use something other than your finger for anal play. I like my hair brush handle. It's the right size at ~ 4 inches, has a nice shape and diameter to fit my ass comfortably.

As for my gay anal experience, not all guys want to fuck my ass. Sometimes they're submissive, and want me to fuck them, and that, along with a lot of sucking, is enough for them. Some guys are just not into anal sex at all.

Sometimes, if I'm nervous or uncomfortable with a particular guy, I can't get it up, so there won't be any fucking that night. But when both want it, the guy with the erection gets it, the limp guy enjoys an ass reaming.

It's normal to be 'backed up' after anal sex. After all, you're interrupting the natural flow of things. You might try using an enema prior to anal sex.

As for infections, there are no guarantees. I did most of my gay sex in the pre aids days, and I never worried about diseases. I only ever got herpes, and I got that from a woman. Check with younger guys for that info.

Good luck and have fun!

 

[txfuncouple]

So here's an honest question. Whats the best way to be more prepared for anal? And by that I mmean making sure things are prepped. Cant aleays douche or clean things out and overdoing that can cause digestive issues.

So what's the secret? I know when we play (which is only every few months) I spend quite a bit of time getting things ready. I can't imagine doing that several times a week. I know diet is a key factor, but thats not all I'm sure.

When you're doing it more frequently, whats the key to keeping things ready to go? If I can figure this out, I see LOTS more fun in our futures.

 

[4yourpleasureiam]

can't wait for all the gay sex therapy on this thread

I would like to offer my hole for you to practice on. Really, Your finger was probably not in deep enough and you may not get it in as deep as you need. Buy a nice slim dildo ( slick plastic is the easiest to insert) and work with that a while. Find your prostrate and enjoy. Oh and welcome to a lovely life. Try finding some clothing to wear to enhance the experience panties and sexy women undergarments.

 

[woman_inside]

You should fondle your anus towards the front, more or less towards the base of your cock. Regarding infections no, you can't always tell, condoms recommended. I've always been hard when getting fucked, and while sucking.
Hope you have fantastic man sex!